"I'm not mad," Lindsay clarified, shutting the lamp off and rolling over in bed. "I'm annoyed."

"Babe, there's not anything I can do about it now, so I don't see the point in being mad."

"I'm not mad," she repeated, stealing a glance at him over her shoulder.

"Then why are you turned the other direction and sleeping as far away from me as you can?"

She turned over to face him, cuddling up to him in her usual position.

"There, happy?"

"What is with you?"

"Just full of yuletide spirit."

"Linds, there's nothing I can do about it now. Someone has to work Christmas day."

"But why does it have to be you?" she asked, her tone almost accusatory while she narrowed her eyes at him. "You've worked every Christmas since we got married, even the ones when we had a newborn in the house. We've never spent an entire Christmas together and it's not fair."

"Okay, come on," he said, standing from the bed and holding his hand out to her.

"What?"

"We aren't allowed to fight in the bedroom so let's get out of here."

Sighing, she followed him, allowing some of the fire to dissipate. He sat on the couch and propped his feet up on the table, taking the stance furthest away from antagonistic that he could think of. She sunk down on the opposite end, drawing her knees up to her chest and sighing.

"Look hon, everyone else has family in town. People they see at Christmas. They have plans. We don't. Why should I be selfish and make someone else work and miss out on time with their family?"

"Okay, maybe that was okay when you were single, but what about me? What about the boys? Do we make any difference?"

"Of course you do! Sweetie, I just want things to be fair."

"Okay well last year Ben was like three weeks old and my parents were in town and you still worked. How was that fair?"

"Honey-"

"Can't I just be irritated at you?"

"You can be as irritated as you want, but you need to understand my side of this too. I was off work today, I said we could do Christmas earlier but you refused and said it wasn't the same unless it was really Christmas. I tried to give you a compromise and you didn't take it. I don't know what more I can do for you."

"It's just not fair."

"I didn't say it was. But you know, we get at least one vacation a year together, and most people don't."

"We're better planners."

"Maybe so, but don't you think they might think that's not fair?"

"Maybe. But it's just one day."

"You're exactly right. It's just one day."

She sighed and he scooted over, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head.

"Lindsay, when we got married, we knew this would happen sometimes. When we had kids we knew it would happen. Why are you surprised that it's happening?"

"Because it's every year, Adam. Every single year, you have worked at Christmas. Are we ever going to have a Christmas together, just the four of us? I'm just asking for one day. Just one."

"Sweetie, I can't do anything about this year. But I'll make a note of it for next year, okay?"

"Okay."

"I promise you, I won't work next Christmas."

"Alright."

"You might have to work, but-"

She pushed him away, a little smile curling up her lips.

"See, you weren't really that mad."

"Not mad really. I just feel like we haven't seen each other that much lately. Again."

"I know. It's not been very easy, has it?"

"No, it hasn't."

"You know it's just temporary. Things always go back to normal."

"Maybe I'm just selfish."

"I know you are."

She wrinkled her nose and he leaned down and kissed her.

"Linds, you know that I love you and the boys and I would rather be home than working, right?"

"I know that."

"Are you upset with me still?"

"No, I'm not. I promise."

"Are you upset in general?"

"I'm making a face at the world. Is that okay?"

"As long as it's not at me, you can make all the faces you want babe."

"Good."

"Now, let's go to bed so Santa can leave more presents."

Rolling her eyes she stood up and headed into the bedroom.

"I'm going to check on the boys and then I'll be in."

She nodded and crashed face first onto the bed, not even bothering to pull the blankets over herself. The last few days had been tiring and were starting to catch up with her. She really wanted to burrow under the covers and sleep until spring, but even a solid six hours would be welcome at this point.

"You must be exhausted," Adam commented, shutting off the other lamp and kneeling over her.

"Yup."

He lay down over her, gently so he wasn't crushing her but still able to be comfortable. She sighed softly as he kissed her neck and slid his hands down her arms where his fingers threaded through hers.

"I'm sorry, baby."

"Adam, you're right, there's nothing you can do about it."

"That's what I'm sorry for."

"It's okay. I'm sorry for being such a crank."

"Grumpy Gus."

She smiled as he sat up and started rubbing her shoulders, kneading at the little spots he knew were knotted.

"You really are sorry huh?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Random display of affection."

"I thought I was always affectionate," he said, swooping down to nibble her ear. She chuckled and jerked away.

"You are, but this is a little outside the bell curve."

"Well maybe I should change that."

"Maybe you should. You're really good at this. Or maybe you're just living in fear of my wrath."

"I might like your wrath," he whispered, pinching her side.

"Now, now, you behave yourself young man."

"You make that awful difficult, little lady."

"You just watch where that hand is going, buster."

He chuckled and reached around to tickle the back of her knee and she yelped in surprise, as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Forget about it, you're not gettin' any," she mumbled around his lips.

He laughed and released her, settling back onto the bed and opening his arms as she moved over to him.

"I love you, babe."

"I love you too."

"So what we gonna do while daddy's gone?" Colton asked, looking from the door to Lindsay.

"I don't know buddy. Whatever we want."

"Can we play daddy's video games? Like the guitar one? You play Rockband with me mama?"

"I think so. Let's wait until Ben wakes up from his nap, okay?"

"I wish he would hurry up."

"Do you want to help me make cookies while we wait?"

"Yep. What kind could we make?"

"Whatever you want."

"Oatmeal with raisins in it?"

"That sounds good. Can you get the magic popcorn bowl out?"

"We gonna have popcorn too?"

"No, I'm gonna use it to mix the cookies."

"But… daddy say that magic popcorn bowl is magic for popcorn. Popcorn, mama. Not cookies."

"Well I know that but it's magic because it doubles as a mixing bowl."

"But it gots popcorn in its name, mama."

"I know that. Can you hand it to me anyway?"

He sighed and got it out of the cupboard, handing it to her with trepidation.

"I don't know why you gots to use the magic popcorn bowl for darn cookies anyway."

She bit back a laugh and set him on the counter so he could retrieve the oatmeal and raisins while she gathered everything else.

"Can I crack them eggs please? I do it right over the bowl and I be careful. Not like daddy. He not careful sometimes. He drop the eggs on the floor. Then Qwerty lick it all up and daddy say not to tell mama and… oops. I telled mama," he said, clapping his hand over his mouth.

"That's okay. I won't tell daddy you told me."

"Phew," he said dramatically, wiping his forehead. "Hard job keepin' secrets."

"Yeah, sometimes it is."

"You got secrets, mama?"

"I don't know if I should tell you. You just said it was a hard job keepin' secrets."

"But I could keep your secret, mama."

"Well, just between you and me," she said, looking around the room as if there were ears everywhere. "I sometimes sneak out of bed at night and raid the fridge."

"You do! But don't you get in trouble mama?"

"Not unless daddy finds out."

"I not tell him, mama. I keep my lips zipped and throw 'way the key, okay?"

"Okay."

He giggled and she helped him crack the eggs into the bowl and add the rest of the ingredients. She stirred them all together while he carefully dropped handfuls of raisins into the measuring cup until he had enough.

"Now we put them on the pan, right?"

"Yep. Do you want to use daddy's special spoon?" she asked, handing him the cookie dropper.

"Yes please. I make perfecter cookies that way."

She smiled as she watched him determinedly scoop up dough and drop it onto the cookie sheet. She wanted to rearrange them into nice rows, but he was so proud and having so much fun she decided to leave them where they were.

"Not enough left for one more cookie, mama," he said, showing her the little bit left in the bowl.

"You know what that means."

"Eat it!"

He pulled the little bit of dough out and handed her half, then popped the other half into his mouth.

"We make good cookies, mama."

"Yes we do."

He smiled and reached up to wrap his arms around her neck, then kissed her soundly.

"I love you, my mama."

"I love you too, my Colton."

They stayed that way for a few moments until he sighed and looked down at the cookies.

"They ain't gonna bake themselves, huh? We gotta get them hot in the oven."

"Yes we do."
The second she closed the oven and set the timer the phone rang and Colton clambered off the counter to get it.

"Hi, this is Colton and this is my mama's phone. Who are you? … Hi Isa! What you doing? … Is you gonna get more presents over there? … Well daddy goed to work and me and mama is makin' cookies and then we's gonna play Rockband when Ben wakes up. Hey, did you like the present I got you? … Yep, I picked it out all myself and I buyed it with the pennies I find on the floor… Okay, I talk at your face later… I love you too, and Sarah and Junior and your mama and daddy… Bye Sweet Thing."

He slid he phone shut and sighed.

"Isa's goin' see her grama and grampa and all them. And she say she love you and daddy and Ben. Can I go see her tomorrow?"

"No, not tomorrow. But we'll see her the day after that, okay?"

"I cannot wait that long mama."

"Maybe you can Skype tomorrow."

"Skypin' when Isa in the computer, right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Like when we talk to Auntie Hannah or granna and papa?"

"Yeah, just like that."

"Okay. I still sad we not seein' her tomorrow, so I need a squeeze hug now."

She knelt down and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing until he laughed.

"Can Ben get awake now?"

"If he's not awake by the time the cookies come out I'll go get him."

"Okay. I will go set up the game all by myself like daddy teached me and then it will be all ready. I will play the guitar and you will play the drums and we won't do singin' cuz Ben breaked the mic."

"He did?"

"Yup, bury it in the plant."

"Wonderful. What did daddy say?"

"Daddy say a swear and then she shaked his head and say none of us good at singin' anyway 'cept you and you don't do it none."

"Well that's fairly accurate," she chuckled, thinking of Adam's singing voice.

"Cookies is beepin', we better get them 'fore they burn."

"I'll get them, you set up your game."

"It's a dealio, mama."

She pulled the cookies out of the oven and let them cool on the counter while she went to check on Ben. He was sitting in the corner of his crib playing with his stuffed animals and looking pretty happy.

"Hey chubbles. You ready to get up?"

"Up, mama."

She lifted him out of the crib, smiling when he rested his head on her chest and sighed.

"I love you, Ben."

He gave her a grin and she kissed his cheek, deeply breathing in his baby scent.

"You have the most kissable cheeks when you wake up, Benners. Wanna come and play with me and brother?"

"Bo bo!" he shouted, clapping his hands. "Dada?"

"Dada's still at work, but we're going to play Rockband. Wanna come?"

He nodded his head seriously and wiggled down to the floor and took off in search of his brother.

"Bo bo!"

"I here, Ben. I just fixin' my guitar strap. Me and mama are gonna play but we don't go no 'truments for you to play on."

Ben sighed and picked up a drumstick, handing it to Lindsay.

"Thanks bud. Alright, who are we gonna rock out with tonight?"

"Smash Mouth first and then you can pick."

"It's a deal."

They started the song up and played it through while Ben jumped around and hollered in time with the music. Colton wasn't that great at it, but he knew what to do, it was just a matter of moving his little hands fast enough. Lindsay's drumming skills left Adam's in the dust, but that really didn't say much.

"It's too hot in here," Colton announced when the song was over. He stripped his shirt off and threw it on the floor, then took a second to check out his muscles before stepping out of his pants.

"Yeah, now you look like a real rockstar," Lindsay chuckled.

"I ready to rock now. You pick, mama."

She scrolled through the song list until she found one she liked, while Colton climbed onto the couch.

"What are you doin'?"

"I wanna jump 'round like on the TV concerts."

"Okay. Don't fall."

They went through a pretty big set, at least ten songs and were all dancing around by the time the decided to be done. Lindsay collapsed onto the couch, feeling like she'd had a full work out. Colton giggled and tumbled down on top of her while Ben grabbed her hand and tried to pull her up.

"Ee, mama."

"You wanna eat? What if I don't wanna cook?"

Ben wrinkled his forehead at her while Colton laughed.

"You gotta cook mama. How else we gonna eat?"

"Well you've got me there. What should we have?"

"Lotsa food."

"So you're saying we should eat all the leftovers?"

"Oh, okay."

She smiled and pulled herself off the couch and before long both boys were quiet and eating.

"Mama, is it still Christmas?"

"Yes it is."

"Will daddy come home before Christmas is over?"

"No."

He sighed and twirled his fork around in his left over spaghetti.

"But I wanna play with him."

"I want to see him too, but sometimes daddy's gotta work. Sometimes I've gotta work. It may not be fun and it may not be fair, but that's life."

"Life don't make me happy, mama."

"I know."

"I guess I can play with daddy tomorrow."

"I guess so."

"Is it time for bed?"

"After a bath."

"Will daddy be home then?"

"No buddy. Not until late."

"Midnight huh?"

"Yep, midnight."

"I be way asleep by then."

"Hopefully so. Are you done eating?"

"Yeah, my tummy full."

"Okay. Let's go get you boys in the tub and then bed."

Adam returned home well after midnight, trying to be quiet as he locked the door behind him and made his way to the bedroom. He was exhausted from work and still feeling a little guilty about going at all and he really wanted to curl up next to Lindsay and fall into the kind of sleep that was almost impossible to wake up from. What he found when he stepped into the bedroom was enough to make him want to stand upright and stare for the next few hours.

There was a single lamp on and Lindsay and the boys were all asleep soundly. The book she had been reading them laid open in her lap, Ben was curled up next to her with his thumb in his mouth, while Colton had his hand tangled in Lindsay's hair. They seemed to all have been asleep for a while and they couldn't have all been comfortable, but he couldn't bring himself to move them. Instead he just stood there and took it in, his entire world before his very eyes.