disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, just Arabella and her story. Hope you all like it!

Gilderoy Lockhart

The next morning, things started to go downhill. Three owls came to visit her – Shay, Bruce and Hamlet. They each carried letters and once Arabella took them, they flew away without some food for themselves.

"Someone's popular," commented Ron.

Arabella pursed her lips and shook her head. "They're from my family. Doubt they're any good."

Hermione came to join them and gave them a stiff, "Morning." She was clearly still mad at their arrival. Neville on the other hand greeted them cheerfully.

Arabella turned back to her letters and opened the first one from Remus.

Arabella Black,

I am very disappointed in you. Driving to Hogwarts in a flying car? Have you gone mad? Where was your common sense? You could have sent Professor McGonagall or Professor Dumbledore a letter if you missed the train. NOT drive a car to Hogwarts! You could have died, you could have been caught by Aurors! The Whomping Willow could have severely hurt you! What were you thinking?!

I tell you, you weren't thinking at all. I thought I raised you better than this. You broke so many laws, you are so lucky the Ministry are not deciding to press any charges, but they were certainly not happy with what you lot have done. Honestly, they should not have let you off that easily.

You are to never do such a thing ever again. The one time I was not there to see you off – I will make sure you are on the train to Hogwarts from now onwards, even if I have to plant myself next to you the whole time. We will have a chat the next time I see you.

I can't believe you've done this. I'm very disappointed and furious.

Remus Lupin

She winced quite a few times during the letter. It was pretty brutal. She then opened the second letter, another one from Remus. This was the letter he was going to send her before he heard about her little adventure.

Arabella

Nice choice on your new owl, Shay. He seems nice and so far Bruce seems a little jealous of the new owl in the house, but I'm sure they'll get along fine. I am glad to hear that you, Harry and the Weasleys are having a good time, but don't give Molly or Arthur too much trouble, all right? I suggest you do give them the hair colour potion, but don't tell them how to make it. They should figure it out for themselves.

Lockhart mustn't be that bad. Have you read his books? He writes about the great things he's done, I am sure he'll be fine in the end. Give him a chance.

Ignore Lucius. Don't worry about anything he has to say, in the end it's all talk. He can't take you away, I won't allow it, and neither will Andromeda. Lucius is and has always been more trouble than he's worth. Hope Arthur's all right, though I do hope he knock Lucius out.

Hope your new school term goes well for you. Don't forget to study and take care of yourself. Drink lots of water and sleep well. Write to me if you have any more nightmares, and write to Andromeda as well. She'll like it. Love you too.

Remus.

Arabella smiled and read the two letters a couple times. Remus was certainly mad, but in a couple months he will have hopefully calmed down. She then picked up the third envelope and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't a Howler.

ARABELLA KASSANDRA BLACK

HOW COULD YOU? DRIVING A CAR TO HOGWARTS?!

WHEN I HEARD THE NEWS FROM DUMBLEDORE, I ALMOST HAD A HEARTATTACK!

What were you thinking? Were you even thinking? What could have possessed you into taking a flying car for some sort of joy ride? You could have died, you could have been chucked into Azkaban! Is that what you want? You better be counting your lucky stars since Dumbledore did not expel you or since the Ministry is not pressing charges against some stupid kids! If you cause any more trouble, I promise you, I will come down to Hogwarts and you certainly will not like what I will say to you, young lady.

Andromeda Tonks

Arabella gulped and paled. It was just as effective as a Howler and twice as scary. Her threat was made clear. One more step out of line and Andromeda was going to come up to Hogwarts.

"You all right, Arabella?" asked Harry.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "It's just Andy's letter. Bit scared of her, really."

She then picked up the fourth envelope. There were two letters in it, one from Ted and the other from Nymphadora.

Arabella,

Nice entrance. I could not put this with Dromeda's letter, obviously, or she'll yell at me. Don't tell this to her or Remus, but Dora and I were practically rolling on the floor when we heard. I'm glad you're safe, certainly, but also pleased, I suppose, of what you've done. This is certainly my mischievous side speaking. Dora and I imagined you riding some sort of convertible car with a leather jacket and sunglasses, getting lost in Russia or something.

Don't worry about Dromeda's letter too much. She's obviously mad about what you and the boys have done, but deep inside, she's glad you're safe (really, really deep inside). She was really close to sending you a Howler, but Dora hid them all and I managed to convince her otherwise.

Just try not to cause too much trouble after this, certainly not in the next month or so. Give her some time to cool off. Hope the Willow didn't hurt you too much. Have a great term!

Ted Tonks.

Arabella smiled and read the other one.

My little daredevil

I am so proud of you. Driving a flying car to Hogwarts, making a grand entrance in front of everyone? You remind me of me sometimes. Tell me how was Snape's face? You have to tell me everything. I always hated that bat. He almost failed in in Potions because I made a couple jokes in his class and distracted some of my mates.

Anyway, me and Dad started to laugh when we heard. Mum was down-right furious at you. If she could, I reckon she would have turned into a dragon. It looked like smoke was coming out of her ears and nose. But don't worry, I'm sure she still loves you, or will at least tolerate you from now on. Thanks, by the way, now I'm her favourite child. First on the list – good luck being compared to ME from now on.

Also, she almost sent you a Howler – you owe us big time, kid.

Tonks.

Under the letter seemed to be a drawing of what seemed to be a dragon with the head of Andromeda. There was smoke coming out of its ears and nose, while fire came from the mouth. It was quite a bad drawing.

Arabella let out a deep breath. Remus and Andromeda were her biggest problems, and they were sure a handful if they were both going to yell at her at the same time. She just needed to give them some time to calm down.

At that moment, something large and grey fell into Hermione's milk jug, spraying them all with milk and feathers.

"Errol!" said Ron. Errol was unconscious with his legs in the air and a red envelope in his beak. Arabella's eyes widened at the sight and she felt a rush of sympathy for Ron at the moment.

"Oh, no –" gasped Ron.

"It's all right, he's still alive," said Hermione, prodding Errol gently with the tip of her fingers.

"It's not that – it's that."

Ron was pointing at the red envelope. Arabella braced herself for a moment against the table, wincing frequently as though it was going to explode then and there.

"What's the matter?" said Harry.

"It's a Howler," whispered Arabella.

It's the most horrible thing in the world, and for Ron to get one….

"You'd better open it, Ron," said Neville timidly. "It'll be worse if you don't. My gran sent me one once, and I ignored it and" – he gulped –"it was horrible."

Harry looked at their petrified faces and then at the red envelope. "What's a Howler?"

"You'll find out," said Arabella.

The letter began to smoke at the corners.

"Open it," urged Neville. "It'll be over in a few minutes –"

Arabella ducked underneath the table just as Ron stretched his hand towards the letter. In a second, a roar of anger filled the huge hall.

"— STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEY'D EXPELLED YOU, YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT WAS GONE —"

Mrs. Weasley's yells, a hundred times louder than usual, made the plates and spoons rattle on the table, and echoed off the stone walls. Arabella could feel the tables shake above her.

"— LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME, WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU, HARRY AND ARABELLA COULD HAVE DIED —"

She wondered when her name was going to be brought up. She winced and buried her face into her legs. The noise was making her head throb with pain.

"— ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED — YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME."

A ringing silence fell. Arabella came up from under the table, shaken, and saw the letter burst into flames. Harry and Ron were stunned. Hermione closed Voyages with Vampires and looked down at the top of Ron's head.

"Well, I don't know what you expected, Ron, but you –"

"Don't tell me I deserve it," snapped Ron.

Arabella felt her stomach turn uneasily – just as it did after they had hit the Whomping Willow. Mr. Weasley was facing an inquiry at the Ministry, after all they had done for her over the summer…. But there was no time to think on the matter as Professor McGonagall was moving along the Gryffindor table, handing out course schedules. Arabella took hers and saw that they had double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs first.

They left the castle together, across the vegetable patch and towards the greenhouses. The Howler seemed to do one good thing – Hermione seemed to think they had now been punished enough and was friendly with all of them once again. As they neared the greenhouses they saw the rest of the class standing outside, waiting for Professor Sprout. The four of them had just joined the rest of their classmates when Professor Sprout came striding into view across the lawn with Lockhart in tow. In the distance, Arabella could see the Whomping Willow in the distance and Sprout's arms were covered in bandages.

"Oh, hello there!" Lockhart called, beaming around at the students. "Just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a Whomping Willow! But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels…."

"Greenhouse three today, chaps!" said Sprout. She seemed disgruntled and not her usual cheerful self.

There was a small amount of interest with the students. None of them have ever worked in greenhouse three, it held more interesting and dangerous plants. Sprout took a large key from her belt and unlocked the door.

"Harry! I've been wanting a word – you don't mind if he's a couple minutes later, do you, Professor Sprout?"

It seemed as though she did mind, judging by the look on her face, but Lockhart said, "That's the ticket," and closed the greenhouse door in her face.

Arabella, Hermione and Ron took their place standing behind a trestle bench in the middle of the greenhouse. There were about twenty or so different-coloured earmuffs lying on the bench.

"What do you think he's talking to Harry about?" asked Arabella.

"Dunno," said Ron, shrugging. "Don't really like him too much. Seems like a phony."

"How could you say that?" said Hermione. "The things he has done! It's all in his books, and he seems like the perfect candidate for our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. We're going to be learning loads from him."

Arabella blinked at her for a moment while Ron opened his mouth to say something, but Harry opened the door to the greenhouse and slid inside at that moment. Once Harry had taken his place between Ron and Arabella, Sprout said, "We'll be repotting Mandrakes today. Now, who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?"

To nobody's surprise, Hermione's hand was the first into the air.

"Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative. It is used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed to their original state."

"Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor," said Sprout. "The Mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also, however, dangerous. Who can tell me why?"

Hermione's hand almost scratched Arabella's cheek as it shot but, but Professor Sprout picked Arabella instead.

"The Mandrake's cry is deadly to anyone who hears it," said Arabella, scooting away from Hermione.

"Precisely. Take another ten points," said Sprout. "Now, the Mandrakes we have here are still very young." She pointed to a row of deep trays as she spoke, and everyone shuffled forward for a better look. There were about a hundred or so tufty little plants, purplish green in colour.

"Everyone take a pair of earmuffs," said Sprout.

There was a scramble as everyone tried to seize a pair that wasn't pink and fluffy. Unfortunately, Arabella got the last pair, which was pink and fluffy. She felt a little foolish, standing there, with them in her hands.

"When I tell you to put them on, make sure your ears are completely covered," said Professor Sprout. "When it is safe to remove then, I will give you the thumbs-up. Right – earmuffs on."

Arabella snapped the earmuffs over her ear. The sound was shut off completely. Spout put her own earmuffs on, rolled up her sleeves, grasped one of the plants and pulled hard. A small, muddy, and extremely ugly baby popped out of the pot. The leaves were growing right out of its head. He was pale green and screaming at the top of his lung.

Sprout took a large plant pot from under the table and plunged the Mandrake into it, burying him in the compost until only the leaves were visible. Sprout dusted off her hands, gave them all the thumbs-up, and removed her own earmuffs.

"As out Mandrakes are only seedling, their cried won't kill yet," said Sprout calmly. "However, they will knock you out for several hours, and as I'm sure none of you want to miss your first day back, make sure your earmuffs are securely in place while you work. I will attract your attention when it is time to pack you. Five to a tray – there is a large supply of pots here – compost in the sacks over there – and be careful of the Venomous Tentacula, its teething."

Arabella, Hermione, Ron and Harry were joined at their tray by a curly-haired Hufflepuff boy they had never spoken to.

"Justin Finch-Fletchley," he said brightly, shaking Harry's hand. "Know who you are, of course, the famous Harry Potter…. And you're Hermione Granger – always top in everything…. Arabella Black and Ron Weasley. Wasn't that your flying car?"

Ron did not smile.

"That Lockhart's something, isn't he?" said Justin happily as they began to fill their plant pots with dung compost. "Awfully brave chap. Have you read his books? I'd have died of fear if I'd been cornered in a telephone booth by a werewolf, but he stayed cool and – zap – just fantastic. My name was down for Eton, you know. I can't tell you how glad I am I came here instead. Of course, Mother was slightly disappointed, but since I made her read Lockhart's books I think she's begun to see how useful it'll be to have a fully trained wizard in the family…."

After that they did not have much chance to talk as they snapped their earmuffs on.

By the end of the class, Arabella was sweaty, aching, and covered in dirt. Everyone trailed back to the castle for a quick wash and then the Gryffindors hurried off to Transfiguration.

Professor McGonagall's class was extremely difficult today as they were expected to turn a beetle into a button. Arabella managed to get it half done, but the half-beetle, half-button kept scurrying around her desk top.

Ron was having problems. He patched up his wand with some tape, but it damaged his wand beyond repair. It kept crackling and sparking at odd moments. Lunch wasn't any better as Harry told Ron to ask his mother for a new wand, while Hermione showed them the handful of perfect buttons she had produced in Transfiguration.

"What've we got this afternoon?" said Harry, hastily changing the subject.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Hermione at once.

"Why," demanded Ron, seizing her schedule, "have you outlined all Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?"

Hermione tried to snatch her schedule back, but Arabella was faster. She took one look at the hearts and started laughing, trying to cover her mouth while her face turned red. Hermione managed to get her schedule back, blushing furiously.

They finished lunch and went outside into the courtyard. Hermione buried her nose in Voyages with Vampires once again while Arabella, Harry and Ron stood talking about Quidditch for several minutes. Harry then looked up and saw a very small boy looking at him. He was clutching something that looked like an ordinary Muggle camera, and the moment Harry looked at him, he went red.

"All right, Harry? I'm – I'm Colin Creevey," he said breathlessly, taking a careful step forward. "I'm in Gryffindor, too. D'you think – would it be all right if – can I have a picture?"

"A picture?" repeated Harry blankly.

"So I can prove I've met you," said Creevey eagerly. "I know all about you. Everyone's told me. About how you survived when You-Know-Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you've still got a lightening scar on your forehead –"

Arabella and Ron shared a look. Ron raised his eyebrow and shrugged, while Arabella whispered, "Well," under her breath.

" – my dad's milkman, he couldn't believe it either. So I'm taking loads of pictures to send him to him. And it'd be really good if I had one of you, maybe one of your friends could take it and I could stand next to you? And then, could you sign it?"

Neither Arabella nor Ron looked pleased at the idea of taking a photo, but then someone else joined in.

"Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Potter?"

Malfoy's voice carried around the courtyard. He stopped right behind Creevey with his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle.

"Everyone line up!" Malfoy roared into the crowd. "Harry Potter's giving out signed photos!"

"Shut up, Malfoy," snapped Arabella.

"You're just jealous," piped up Colin. Arabella winced. He was about the size of Crabbe's neck.

"Jealous?" said Malfoy. He did not need to shout anymore. Most of the courtyard was listening. "Of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special, myself."

Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.

"Eat slugs, Malfoy," said Ron angrily. Crabbe stopped laughing and stated rubbing his knuckles in a menacing way.

"Be careful, Weasley," sneered Malfoy. "You don't want to start any trouble or your mummy'll have to come and take you away from school." He put on a shrill, piercing voice. "If you put another toe out of line –"

A group of fifth year Slytherins nearby laughed loudly.

"Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter," smirked Malfoy. "Better yet, Black will probably take one, give it to her useless godfather – it'll be the most he's ever earned in his life."

Harry and Ron tried to hold Arabella back from taking a swing at him.

"Let – go – of – me," grunted Arabella, struggling against them. She then turned to Malfoy and glared at him. "You don't – you don't have any right – don't ever speak about him again! You don't know anything about him. He's worth more than you and your father combined!"

"Is he now?" scoffed Malfoy. "I doubt it, Black. My father told me all about him –"

"And I can tell you things about your father that will make your hair curl with grease," snapped Arabella.

"What's all this, what's all this?" said Lockhart, striding towards them.

Harry and Ron let go of Arabella. She straightened herself out while continuing to glare at Malfoy.

"Harry Potter's giving out signed photos, sir," said Malfoy quickly.

"Shouldn't have asked!" said Lockhart jovially. He flung his arm around Harry's shoulders. "We meet again, Harry!"

Harry was pinned to Lockhart's side as Malfoy slide back into the crowd, still smirking.

"Come on then, Mr. Creevey," said Lockhart, beaming at Colin. "A double portrait, can't do better than that, and we'll both sigh it for you."

Arabella could hardly believe what she was witnessing as Colin fumbled for his camera and took the picture. The bell then rang, signaling the start of afternoon classes. Arabella, Ron and Hermione made their way towards their next class while Harry was still pinned to Lockhart's side.

"You all right, Arabella?" Hermione whispered to her.

"Fine," mumbled Arabella, inhaling sharply. "Just… really wanted to hurt Malfoy for what he said."

Arabella and Hermione took a seat with Harry and Ron behind them. They took out all seven of Lockhart's book in front of him.

When the whole class was seated, Lockhart cleared his throat loudly and silence fell. He reached forward, picked up Neville's copy of Travels with Trolls, and held it up to show his own, winking portrait on the front.

"Me," he said, pointing at it and winking as well. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award – but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

He waited for them to laugh; a few people smiled weakly.

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books — well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about — just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in —"

When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, "You have thirty minutes — start — now!"

Arabella looked down at her paper and read:

1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?
2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to:

54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?

Arabella was having a fun time making up ridiculous answers.

Favourite Colour? Bluink – blue and pink mixed together. Secret Ambition? To create a hair product that will make people's hair feel like silk on a humid day. Greatest Ambition? Figuring out how to actually write a semi-decent book. Ideal Gift? A box of maggots. And so on….

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class.

"Tut, tut – hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully — I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples — though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky!"

He gave them another wink. Arabella was in disbelief that he was actually their teacher! Seamus and Dean were shaking with silent laughter, while Hermione, on the other hand, was listening to Lockhart with rapid attention.

"… but Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil. Good girl! Full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"

Hermione raised a trembling hand. Arabella stared at her for a moment, her mouth slightly ajar.

"Excellent!" beamed Lockhart. "Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor! Also, Miss Arabella Black also knew that it was my ambition to create a hair product, though whether or not it would feel like silk is still unknown. Where is Miss Arabella Black?"

Arabella made some sort of choking noise in the back of her throat before raising her hand slightly. She could hardly believe it…. She actually got it right.

"Excellent, Miss Black! Another ten points for Gryffindor! And so – to business –"

He bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it.

"Now – be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."

Dean and Seamus stopped laughing now. Neville was cowering in his seat. Arabella, against all she believed at the moment, leaned forward.

"I must ask you not to scream," said Lockhart lowly. "It might provoke them."

As the whole class held its breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover.

"Yes," he said dramatically. "Freshly caught Cornish pixies."

Seamus couldn't control himself. He let out a snort of laughter that even Lockhart couldn't mistake for a scream of terror.

"Yes?" He smiled to Seamus.

"Well, they're not – they're not very – dangerous, are they?" Seamus choked.

"Don't be so sure!" said Lockhart, waggling a finger annoyingly at Seamus. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!"

The pixies were blue and about eight inches in height with pointed faces and shrill voices.

"Right, then," Lockhart said loudly. "Let's see what you make of them!" and he opened the cage.

The pixies shot out in every direction like rockets. Two of them seized Neville by the ears and lifted him into the air. They wrecked the classroom. They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, shredded books and papers, tore pictures from the walls, grabbed bags and books and threw them out of the smashed window. Half the class was sheltering under the desks and Neville was swinging from the iron chandelier in the ceiling.

"Come on now – round them up, round them up, they're only pixies," shouted Lockhart. He rolled up his sleeves, took out his wand, and bellowed, "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"

It had no effect and Arabella swore loudly, cursing Lockhart and Dumbledore for even hiring him. One of the pixies seized Lockhart's wand and threw it out of the window. He gulped and dived under his own desk.

The bell rang and there was a mad rush toward the exit. In the relative calm that followed, Lockhart straightened up, caught sight of Arabella, Ron, Hermione and Harry, who were almost at the door, and said, "Well, I'll ask you four to just nip the rest of them back into their cage." He swept past them and shut the door quickly behind him.

"Can you believe him?" roared Ron as one of the pixies bit him on the ear.

"He just wants to give us some hands-on experience," said Hermione, immobilizing two pixies with a Freezing Charm.

"Hands on?" said Harry.

"He doesn't have a clue about what he's doing," said Arabella.

"Rubbish," said Hermione. "You've read his books – look at all those amazing things he's done –"

"He says he's done," Ron muttered.

Thank you all for reading! Tell me what you think!