The next week went by smoothly—for a change—for Jeff and Nick. They embraced their new relationship and deeper feelings privately for now, since Jeff had yet to actually come out to the general public. It wasn't too hard to do, but it wasn't really ideal. They had to make sure they were alone before kissing one another, they couldn't hold hands around others, and it always felt like they had something to hide. For Nick, it was a tad bit discomforting to do since he'd been out of the closet for years now. It kind of felt like he was back to hiding.
He needed only to remind himself that this was for Jeff in order to reassure himself. He knew how hard it was to come out and he didn't want to rush Jeff along. It definitely wasn't easy to do, and Nick probably never would have come out of the closet in the first place if he hadn't been outed by somebody.
Jeff already had plans to tell the Warblers about it, which was really good progress to begin with. He'd even confided in Nick, asking for help, because he hadn't had any idea how to go about telling everyone. Nick gladly agreed to help, and he was thrilled that the blonde had actually confided in him for once. Jeff never really seemed to talk about his feelings, and even less often did he admit he needed help with anything.
He was also beyond delighted to have Jeff back, both emotionally and physically. He'd seemed so distant and depressed during the last few weeks, and it was nice to have his outgoing and energetic personality around again.
He never imagined that he and Jeff could actually be together in this way, though. Not once. Sure, he'd crushed on the blonde way back in middle school, but it hadn't really been too serious and he never expected anything to come from it. He figured that the only thing that could come from the attraction would be pain and rejection, so he forced himself to get over the crush and thus vowed to never look for anything more than friendship from his blonde friend. Never once did he imagine that Jeff could even possibly be gay—or bisexual, to be more precise.
Although it was unexpected, it was definitely welcomed. Nick could tell that Jeff really did care about him, unlike Lewis. Jeff had known him for years, knew everything about him, accepted him for who he was, and never abandoned him, even after going through a few of Nick's nervous breakdowns, panic attacks, social anxiety, and even an attempted suicide. He'd stuck by Nick with nothing but friendship and support. And now, it could be something more.
…
It was time for a Warblers meeting. THE Warblers meeting. Jeff's hands were clammy, his heart was pounding, and his mind was racing. Today was the day he'd promised he'd come out. And these were his friends; the one group of people he knew would accept him not matter what he told them.
So why was he so freaking nervous?
He could hardly take the anxiety, hesitating outside the door to the Warblers meeting room. He didn't know what he was afraid of. Was it just because he knew that once this stage was over, there was no going back? He could never hide again once he was through here. He would forever be known as bisexual. Out of the closet once and for all, never to return. Was he really ready for that?
A warm hand touched his shoulder. "Are you alright?" Jeff turned to see Nick, green eyes compassionate. "You look like you're about to be sick."
He smiled weakly. "I'm fine. Just preparing for a life-altering occasion is all. No pressure." The words were playfully sarcastic to cover up his deep down fear.
Nick saw right through it. "I know you're nervous," he said quietly. "And you know, if you don't think you're ready to do this quite yet, I'll understand."
"No," Jeff insisted. "I am nervous, but I don't want to hide anymore. I'm tired of constantly looking out to make sure we're alone all the time. I feel right when I'm with you. I'm sick of feeling like I have something to hide." He paused. "Besides, Nick, you deserve better. You deserve a boyfriend who isn't afraid to be as open and proud as you are." And even though I'm having a hard time being that person, I'm willing to at least try to. For you.
Nick smiled modestly. "You don't have to be that person today, Jeff," he murmured. "I just want you to know that you can take your time. I'll be here for you, no matter how long it takes."
Jeff's heart swelled at that. "How did I get so lucky to get a boyfriend like you?" he whispered with a thin smile.
"I could say the same thing." Nick took one of Jeff's hands. "We should go inside now. Are you ready for this?"
Jeff drew in a deep breath and put on a confident face. "Yep. Let's just get this over with…" He squeezed Nick's hand before the brunette let go, leading the way to the choir room.
They took their places in the room. As Wes called the meeting to order, Jeff timidly raised his hand.
"Yes, Warbler Jeff?" Wes asked. "What is it?"
"Well…there's something I'd like to say, actually," he said. "Can you just give me five minutes?"
Wes blinked once as if considering it. "All right. I'll allow it," he agreed. "You have the floor."
Jeff smiled his thanks and stood up, glancing around the room to take in every pair of eyes staring at him. When he finally came to Nick's encouraging green gaze, he spoke, "I have some news to share, and I thought since you all are my closest friends, you should be the first people I tell." He noticed Blaine in the room, and his deep hazel eyes were knowing and understanding. When Jeff made eye contact with him, Blaine nodded once in approval, prompting him to go on. Jeff nodded back and raised his head. "I'm bisexual," he announced clearly.
There were a few shocked murmurs in the room. Not too many people would expect that kind of announcement from Jeff, seeing how straight he seemed. Not to mention that he generally distanced his personal feelings and emotions from his social life. It may sound very typically boyish, but he hated to talk about what he was feeling with most people.
He looked back towards Nick who smiled up at him. Jeff held out a hand, which Nick gladly took, standing up beside him.
Blaine grinned from where he sat across from them. "Oh! So you two finally got together?" he asked. "It's about time!"
"Wait…you guys are a couple now?" Thad asked from the table.
"Yep, we are indeed," Jeff confirmed, smiling over at Nick.
Another, louder shocked murmur swept through the room, though it very quickly dissipated into "congratulations," and other thoughtful wishes. Someone started clapping, and the whole room eventually joined in.
It was flattering. Jeff couldn't help but beam with joy at this amazingly positive response. He'd known all along that he'd be accepted here, but he never imagined it would be this uplifting.
Eventually, Wes was forced to call for order, pounding his gavel. Nick and Jeff both sat down to allow him to speak. "I'm sincerely sorry to have to interrupt here, but we really should get this meeting to order," he said regretfully. "Congratulations, Nick and Jeff. I'm very happy for the both of you." He nodded to them with a smile. "Now, let us focus on the meeting at hand…"
…
"Now that you're somewhat out of the closet, I was just thinking…we should have our first date!" Nick suggested to Jeff.
"But I'm only out to a small group of close friends so far…" Jeff pointed out.
"Don't worry. I figured we could have a semi-private date…like the coffee shop and a trip to the bookstore," Nick assured. "Those places are practically vacant at certain times of the day."
"Well, I'm not too big on reading, but if it means spending more time with you…I'm in," Jeff agreed with a flirtatious smirk.
The two of them went to the bookstore as soon as school was over and grabbed some coffee there. Jeff got a double-shot mocha latte while Nick ordered a decaf macchiato. Jeff paid for both drinks, refusing to let Nick even touch his wallet.
"It was only four dollars," Nick complained as they took a seat in the café seating area. "I could have easily paid for it."
"Well, I say it's the best four dollars I've ever spent," he teased flirtatiously. "I personally can't wait to spend more! Do you want me to buy you a book? Maybe two or three?"
Nick rolled his eyes. "You're insane," he said.
"What, a guy can't freely spend his money on his boyfriend? What's up with that?" Jeff said.
"I have enough money to pay my own way, trust me," Nick said. "And I'm your boyfriend. Not your girlfriend. You don't have to pay for everything—I'm more than willing to split the cost of a date."
"Alright, I'll compromise. We can split the money on dates, but I'm allowed to buy you gifts if I want to. How's that?"
Nick considered it. "Fine, but it has to work both ways—I can buy you gifts if I feel like it, too," he agreed. "But let's agree to keep it simple. Spend no more than, oh, let's say… fifty dollars on one gift. Deal?"
"Excluding special occasions like birthdays and holidays, right?"
"Right."
"Then you've got a deal," Jeff agreed. They shook on it.
Nick smiled. "I can't believe we just compromised on how much money we're allowed to spend on each other," he laughed. "Does that happen for you often? Since you're the one with the most dating experience here…"
"Nope. Usually the girl always expected me to pay for everything. And then she would get angry when a Valentine's Day gift wasn't what she wanted."
Nick raised his eyebrows. "Seriously…? Maybe being gay isn't so bad after all…"
Jeff chucked and shrugged. "Not all of the girls I've dated were that demanding," he reasoned. "I can say for certain, though, that none of them can compare to you." It sounded cheesy, but it was true. He had never felt this way with any of the girls he'd ever been with.
Nick offered a bashful half-smile at that, ducking his head. Jeff couldn't help but think of how adorable he looked when he blushed like that.
Nick cleared his throat and sat up straight. "Erm, w-well…I was just wondering, Jeff…when do you think you can come out to your family? I've been meaning to discuss that…"
"Discuss? Sounds so formal," Jeff mumbled. "I really have no clue, though. I keep trying to think of what to say…but I just don't know how to actually do it."
"It isn't easy," Nick sympathized.
"I'm just…worried about what they'll think. I don't really care what the general public thinks, but my parents…they're a completely different story."
Nick smiled sympathetically. "I know the feeling," he empathized. "I was terrified to come out to my family. I avoided it as long as I could, but I was also afraid that someone else would tell them…I thought it would be best if they heard it from me."
"Yeah, probably," Jeff mumbled in agreement. "How'd your parents take it when you told them?"
"They were completely accepting. My mom hugged me and told me that she'd love me no matter what and my dad told me that I shouldn't be afraid to be who I am." He smiled vaguely. "It was actually really sweet. Despite what it may seem like sometimes, I do love my parents. They're there for me and they support me so much more than I could have hoped for."
Jeff smiled. "Maybe, if I'm lucky enough, my parents will be the same and I will have been worried over nothing," he murmured thoughtfully. "It's worth hoping for."
"Your mom and dad seem like nice enough people to me," Nick tried to reassure. "And they know I'm gay, and they haven't given me any trouble for it. I like to believe that they might actually like me just a little bit," he said jokingly.
"Are you kidding? My mom is completely smitten with you," Jeff teased. "She'd probably trade me for you in a heartbeat."
Nick laughed. "I wouldn't say that," he said. "In case you've forgotten, I require a lot of maintenance. You're probably the easier to deal with and cheaper to keep around one out of us two."
Jeff knew that Nick was referring to his panic disorder and social anxiety. He had quite a few regular therapists and some prescription medication he needed to take every day in order to keep away his panic attacks and to ease his social discomfort. "In case you've forgotten," Jeff said. "I've been known to be a bit of a 'trouble maker.' And that's putting it lightly."
"We'll agree to disagree, then," Nick decided.
"Agreed," Jeff said lightly. "Um, well…back to the point of this—how they look at you could be totally different for how they'll react to me being gay. I'm their son and you're 'the kid next door.'"
"True," Nick admitted. "But you can't say that your parents are close-minded, either."
"I know, and that's a good thing," Jeff said. "I just can't shake the fear that they might…not accept me. I can't imagine being rejected by my own family…"
"I know," Nick murmured. "I worried about the same things. I kept going over possible scenarios, and almost gave myself a panic attack. But in the end, I had worried over nothing." He smiled reassuringly at Jeff. "It'll probably be the same for you."
"I can only hope," Jeff sighed. "But…I don't want to come out to them yet…I don't think I'll be able to…"
"That's okay," Nick said. "You can take your time. You can come out to your parents whenever you're ready." He reached across the table to lay one hand over Jeff's. "I'm here for you whenever you need me."
Jeff intertwined his fingers with Nick's. "You have no idea how safe that makes me feel," he murmured. "I think…that no matter what happens… as long as I still have you, I'll be okay."
