"You boys be good for Uncle Danny, okay?"
"We always good, mama. Don't be silly."
"Okay, okay. Just don't drive him crazy."
"Montana they'll be fine. If not I'll just put them in the bedroom and shut the door."
"It's what I usually do with them," Austin said, shrugging into her coat.
"Yeah, you think I can't handle the kids? C'mon, give me a little credit here."
"You say that at the same time you turn on SportsCenter."
"I need background noise."
The girls looked at each other and rolled their eyes. At least the kids were old enough that they didn't need to be watched every second.
"We'll be back later."
"Don't burn the joint down," Austin added. "Kids, you watch your daddy."
"What is it with you women?"
"Wait, mommy!" Sarah squealed, crashing into Austin's legs. "I wanna go with you and Auntie please."
"I thought you wanted to stay home and play."
"But…" she said soft enough that Austin had to crouch down to hear her. "Colt and Isa not wanna play. And I not wanna play with the babies."
"So you want to come with us instead?"
"Please?"
"Okay. You might get bored, are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Alright. Go get your shoes on."
Sarah smiled and scrambled for her shoes, then jumped up and jammed her arms into her coat.
"Ready, ready," she said, taking both their hands and pulling them towards the door.
"Danny, we're taking the middle munchkin."
"Okay."
"So don't call me later freaking out because you can't find her."
"Okay."
"Bye daddy!"
"Bye."
Lindsay and Austin exchanged a look and headed out the door while Sarah skipped between them, happy to have a little attention all to herself.
"Let's stop and get some coffee. I need caffeine."
"That would be mean. Jess can't have coffee right now. We can't just wave it in her face like that."
"She doesn't like coffee."
Lindsay stopped walking and her jaw dropped open.
"She doesn't like coffee?"
"Nope. She's a tea drinker."
"How… what… I can't even…"
"I know. I was similarly shocked."
"That just doesn't seem like her. She's a whiskey girl but she doesn't drink coffee? How does that work?"
"I don't know. And we thought we were the enigmas."
"Interesting. I guess we can get her some tea then. Sarah love, you want some hot chocolate?"
"Yay!"
"You love to spoil my children."
"Yeah, 'cuz look how happy they get about it."
"They're easily pleased."
"What we gonna do today?" Sarah asked as they walked to the car.
"We're going shopping with Jess to find some clothes and stuff for the new babies."
"I happy for the babies. They will be little huh?"
"Yeah, really little."
"I will hold them and rock them and sing them songs."
"I bet you'll be good at that."
"I like babies."
"Are you going to have babies when you grow up?" Lindsay asked, buckling her into Ben's carseat. She was too little to fit in Colton's but almost too big for Ben's.
"I will have many babies. Just girls. No boys."
"I used to say the same thing."
"And you got no girls at all, auntie. How come?"
"Because your uncle Adam can only handle one lady in the house."
"Austin you're mean."
"You're the queen of that house, Lindsay."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that they think you're the most important person in your family and in the world. You're the only girl with a bunch of boys. They'd spoil you if you'd let them."
"They do love me a lot."
Jess sighed and blew a strand of hair off of her forehead, hauling a box of diapers into the cart.
"More," Austin coached.
"One more box?"
"Oh young grasshopper… That might get you through a few days," Lindsay chuckled
"Okay, be straight with me here. How many diapers will I change in a day?"
"I am guessing around ten. Per kid."
"Are you kidding me right now?"
"No."
"Don said he wasn't going to do diapers. I'm totally screwed."
"Adam said the same thing. Believe me, after a little while and some very well placed complaining, he'll change his mind. You'll get the hang of it and it won't be so bad. All the mommy instincts will kick in and you'll wonder what you were so worried about in the first place."
"She's right Jess. Gave me the same speech almost four years ago."
"You guys promise?"
"Yes. And we'll be there to help you out too. You won't be alone."
"Thanks. I can't even tell you how scared I am."
"It's okay to be scared, Jess. It makes you a better mom."
"Are you sure?"
"Believe everything she says, Jess. Lindsay's got like super mommy wisdom or something. She's always right. I don't have her on speed dial just because she's my best friend."
"Whatever," Lindsay chuckled, checking out a pair of pants for Colton and deciding they were too long.
"I'm serious! You've gotten me through a lot of days where I wanted to pull my hair out. Honestly Jess, use her."
"I will."
"But use Austin too. She's very good at telling you that crayon marks wash off the wall and screaming only lasts until the voice box gives out."
"I'm glad you guys did this first."
"You'll be great Jess. You're like the best multi-tasker I have ever met. I've seen you cuff a suspect, shout orders over the radio and in the same breath take Flack down a notch. Twins are going to be a piece of cake."
"Mommy, a'scuse me," Sarah whispered, tugging on Austin's hand and holding up a fluffy skirt. "Could I have this?"
"I don't think so, baby. Not today."
"Okay," Sarah sighed, dropping her shoulders a little and putting the skirt back on the rack. "Lookit at those cute baby shoes over there!"
Austin chuckled at her change of subject, then grabbed a skirt in the right size and tossed it into the cart.
"I thought you said…"
"She's being good. I like to surprise her."
"Guys, my back hurts and I think I need to sit down for a while."
"You're looking a little wiped out. We can go to the restaurant next door for lunch."
"You don't think I'm a wimp, do you?"
"You're carrying twins. You are so not a wimp."
"I feel like a wimp. And a blimp."
Lindsay and Austin gave each other knowing looks.
"She needs iced tea."
"And fast."
They made their purchases quickly and stashed them in the car before going into the restaurant. Sarah was delighted to get her own paper menu with crayons and quickly snuggled into what was left of Jess's lap. Her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she colored, balancing one of her baby dolls on her lap.
"Jess, when you gots two babies, how you gonna color?" she asked suddenly, genuinely concerned.
"I guess I'm just going to have you do all my coloring for me, sweetheart."
"I could do that. I like to color."
They ordered their food and talked of all non-baby things. Lindsay and Austin could both see how stressed Jess was getting and they remembered their own similar days of frustration while baby shopping the first time. It was a horribly scary unknown and no amount of reassurance would completely stop the nerves. It was something that she could only get through with Flack.
They sat talking long after their food was gone and Sarah was sleeping. It was nice to get out for a while with no schedule or obligations for later. Lindsay and Austin did it more as the kids got older, but this might be the last time Jess could do it for a while.
"You guys wanna join us for family dinner tonight?" Austin offered, taking Sarah who grunted at the movement but didn't wake up.
"I don't know. Which one of you is cooking?"
"Lindsay is but she's using my kitchen. I've been banned for a two month stretch because of what happened last time."
"What happened last time?"
"I tried to skip a step in the mashed potatoes. It didn't go well. The house smelled like scorched milk for weeks."
"Austin don't lie. You tried to skip two steps."
"Why would you cut the potatoes if you're just gonna mash them later anyway?"
"Because they have to… never mind, I am not having this argument again."
"You're like little old ladies in a nursing home, fighting over who used the Fixodent last."
"You jest, but that's what the psychic lady said too."
"She also said to stick to instant potatoes, but you didn't listen to that."
"Lindsay Ross, I'm gonna pull your hair."
"I love you too."
"You're the kind of friends that have slap fights then eat raw cookie dough together, aren't you?"
"There's spies everywhere," Austin whispered.
"Oh heavens," Jess chucked shaking her head. "I can't keep up."
"That's what they all say."
"How does anyone understand you two?"
"They usually just stop trying."
"Flack, you're lookin' a little gray over there," Danny mentioned, propping his feet up on the coffee table and looking over at his friend.
"Yeah man, you've got that look," Adam agreed.
"What look?"
"The 'oh crap I'm about to be a father and I have no idea what I'm doing.' It's a look we know well."
"I still got a couple months and I feel like I'm going to puke."
Danny and Adam nodded in sympathy. They'd had a few short discussions on the subject, neither one of them really comfortable admitting their fears, but only having each other as a fellow father to talk to about it.
"Don't be scared, they can smell it. And I'm not just saying that, they really can," Adam started.
"No way."
"Serious, man. If you're scared they're gonna be scared of you. Just relax and you'll be fine. And always think twice before you make a decision. Because sometimes it seems good in the moment, but later they'll use it against you," Danny added, knowing all too well how fast Isa's mind worked to contradict what he had just told her.
"And don't be afraid to tell them you screwed up. They respect you more for that."
"When you're gettin' after them and they say somethin' funny, don't laugh. Whatever you do, don't laugh."
"You can laugh later when they can't see you though."
"And make sure you tell 'em you love 'em even when you think they're too little to understand."
"And don't let Jess get lost in the shuffle. Life is easier if you make sure she knows she's still number one."
"That might be the most important thing right there," Danny agreed. "She's gonna need you more than she'll admit."
"Your kids are always your kids, but a marriage, you've always gotta work at. Make sure you listen to everything she says, even if it doesn't make sense to you."
"Are you guys gonna write this down for me?" Flack asked on a long sigh.
"You weren't payin' attention?"
"I'm going to forget it all later."
"Maybe once or twice, but you'll fall into a routine after a while."
"Uncle Flack, lookit I made for you!" Isa shouted, running across the room to him and jumping into his lap. "It's a tie!"
She handed him the mangled piece of construction paper, colored with stripes and adorned with stickers.
"You can wear it to work. I made it specially for you 'cuz you wear ties always."
"Thanks little girl."
"You don't have to wear it to work if you don't wanna. It might rip when you'res chasing bad guys with mommy."
"Maybe I'll just have to keep it hung up with my other ties."
"Okay. I gotta go make somethin' else now," she said, kissing his cheek and scrambling off his lap.
"I wish I had a tie like that."
"Daddy, you don't wear no ties!" Isa proclaimed indignantly, her hand on her hip. "I make you somethin' else."
"Okay."
She scampered off and Flack chuckled.
"I better get used to wearing paper ties, huh?"
"Among other things, buddy."