"Now before we go in, you need to remember the rules," Lindsay said seriously, crouching down in front of Colton. He looked from her to the entrance gate and back to her, his eyes wide with anticipation.
"No runnin' and I gotta hold hands. Mind my manners."
"One more."
"I gotta have fun."
"Alright, are you ready?"
"Yes, let's go, come on, hurry before the animals take their naps!"
He grabbed onto Adam's hand and pulled him towards the entrance while Lindsay followed behind, pushing the stroller. They bought the tickets and made it into the zoo, Colton jumping up and down with excitement.
"What can we see first?"
"I don't know. What do you want to see?"
"Um, I think the monkeys."
"Well it looks like they're kind of far out of our way," Adam said, checking the map.
"Well what is on the way, daddy?"
"I think maybe we should hit the children's zoo first. It looks less crowded in that direction."
"Okay daddy."
They walked quickly, Lindsay chuckling at Colton's enthusiasm. He was in a constant state of chatter over everything he saw pointing in one direction and then another, and making absolutely no sense to anyone but himself.
"Hey mama, let Ben outta there so he can come and pet them horsey things too."
"You mean the llamas?" Lindsay chuckled, bending down to get Ben. He gave her a grin and patted her cheek before she set him on the ground.
"Go to daddy."
He ran and grabbed Adam's other hand and the boys inspected the small petting zoo. Colton reached out to pet a baby goat, but then it made the mistake of looking at him and he ran over to Lindsay, grabbing her leg.
"Did it scare you?"
"S'afraid, he's gonna bite me, dude," he answered.
Lindsay hid her laugh and took his hand, leading him back over to the goat.
"What if he bites, mama?"
"He won't bite. You just have to be gentle and not scared."
She showed him what to do and he copied her actions, smiling when the goat gently nuzzled his arm.
"He likes me, mama."
"Yeah, that's because you're not scared."
"How come granna and papa don't got goats on the farm?"
"They've had them before but granna doesn't like them very much. She thinks they're too loud."
"I bet I could hide this goat under my bed at home. I could have him for a pet."
"No, we already got a dog and a cat. We don't need any more animals. Especially one that eats everything in sight."
"Hey goat, leggo my shirt!"
Lindsay managed to get the goat away from him and they moved on to the other animals until they had visited all of them. Adam directed them to the next exhibit and the boys skipped along next to him, highly anticipating what was next. They were both happy to get out of the house, happy to do something different, but really the best part for both of them was getting to spend an entire day with mama and daddy. Lindsay felt guilty about that, that having both their parents was such a treat. She'd been missing in action a lot lately, despite taking an entire month off of work to get everything figured out. She just hadn't been mentally there, and they could tell. Things were getting better, she'd finally found an anti-depressant that helped a little, at least she was able to get out of bed and the nightmares had been few and far between. But there were days when she was just going through the motions, hugging and kissing out of habit.
Today was a good day though, and she was going to grab every second that she could, even the moments when Ben threw a fit about walking and had to be strapped back into the stroller and even when Colton refused to leave the monkey house because he wanted to see the monkeys swing on the trees just one more time. It didn't even stress her out because she was alive and that was all that mattered today.
"Daddy, what is that?"
"It's a tiger."
"But I thought tigers was sharks."
"Well there are tiger sharks, but this is just a plain old tiger."
"Oh. Lift me so I can see better?"
Adam lifted Colton up onto his shoulders and he cheered.
"I can see the whole world up here."
"Yeah, cuz daddy's just that tall," Lindsay snickered. Adam leaned over and pinched her arm while Ben sighed from the stroller and tried to see what was going on.
"Are you going to be a good boy?" Lindsay asked, crouching down and undoing the straps. He nodded and made his eyes as wide and innocent as he could while she lifted him up so he could see.
"Mama," he said, patting her shoulder. "Up. Budder."
"Up like your brother?" she sighed, placing him on her shoulders. "Hold on, okay?"
"Watch out, his feet are in range," Adam warned, grimacing down at Colton's sandals. "I don't know about that one, but this one's got stinky toes."
"Hmm, I wonder where he gets that."
"Now Lindsay…"
She smiled and leaned up to kiss him while the boys hollered about the tiger running across the grass.
"Lookit him go!" Colton said, bouncing up and down on Adam's shoulders.
"Ouch, dude, you're heavy."
"Well you was the one that feeded me breakfast," he reasoned, stopping the bouncing.
"Yeah, at least you don't have to worry about him filling his diaper," Lindsay added, wrinkling her nose.
"What's next daddy? Elephants yet?"
"Looks like the bears next and then elephants."
"Efalents," Ben echoed, nodding his head.
"And lions and giraffes," Colton added.
"Oh my!" Lindsay and Adam chorused, heading further down the path, each of them taking one handle of the stroller.
"Is the bears gonna be eatin' honey? Like Winnie the Pooh?"
"I don't know, we'll have to see."
"Or maybe they eatin' fish like on the one movie. Or maybe marmalade like Paddington Bear. Or stealin' people food like Yogi! Are they the Bearenstain bears?"
"Who knew there were so many bear cartoons?"
"I wonder if he'll be upset that these bears aren't animated and wearing t-shirts."
"How do you explain to your kid that it's okay for bears to be naked all the time but not people?"
"Why do we have a kid that would question that?"
"We've ruined them for life."
"But I wanna see the animals!" Colton sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "That's why we comed to the zoo after all."
"I know that, but it's time for lunch. You're crabby."
"I not a crab, mama. I not!"
"I didn't say you were a crab," Lindsay clarified, starting to get irritated. "I said you were crabby."
"Well whatever."
"Daddy, will you deal with this?"
Adam crouched down in front of his son, putting on his most stern voice and serious face.
"Colton, it's time to eat lunch. We'll see more animals later. For now, you need to sit down and eat."
"But-"
"No arguments. You can either eat now or you can wait until dinner. What'll it be?"
Colton gave a heavy sigh and laid his head down on the picnic table.
"I eat now."
"Good choice because we're getting corndogs."
"I only like the dog part, not the corn."
"I'll eat your corn part," Adam offered. "If you eat all your applesauce."
"Shake on it?"
"Such a politician," Adam said, shaking Colton's hand. "Can you come with me and help me get the food?"
"Okay."
They went to get in line and Lindsay shook her head, smiling down at Ben who was giving her a knowing look.
"Your brother, I swear he has the temperament of a cow at sunrise."
"Cow?"
"Yep."
"MOO!"
She chuckled and checked her phone for the time, finding three texts from Austin.
You guys didn't really go to Jersey, did you?
Please tell me you didn't go to Jersey.
If you went to Jersey, Imma thwack you!
"What's the deal with Jersey?" she muttered, contemplating leaving her best friend hanging. "You'da thought I told her the Mets are better'n the Yanks."
Ben giggled and stood up on the picnic bench, clapping his hands before plopping into Lindsay's lap and wrapping his arms around her neck.
"I love you Ben."
"Love you," he replied softly with a yawn.
"Are you getting tired?"
"No."
"Are you sure? It's almost your nap time."
"No no, mama."
"You don't want a nap?"
He shook his head and snuggled closer.
"Peas."
"Okay, you said please. No nap," she agreed, knowing he would probably fall asleep soon after he was fed anyway.
"Happy," he whispered, his normal phrase for when he was pleased with something.
"Yeah. Me too."
They sat there for a few minutes and let the sun soak into them. Colton had never really been a fan of just sitting somewhere. He liked to have entertainment in some form or another. It didn't have to be much. But Ben was perfectly content to just be. He could sit for a long time without needing anything to play with or look at. It was like he was already comfortable just existing.
"We are men," Colton announced as he approached the table. "We brunged the food."
"Did daddy tell you to say that?"
"Yep! How you know that mama?"
"I'm really, really smart."
"Oh yeah, I already knowed that. Daddy got you a sandwich a'cuz you don't like corndogs."
"Oh, thanks honey."
"You're welcome. Ben, you gonna make it? Want to eat some lunch?"
Ben nodded and took the peanut butter and jelly half sandwich that Adam offered him and held onto it while leaning against Lindsay.
"Okay bud, I need you to help me figure out where we can go next," Adam said, unfolding the map on the table. Colton sighed and looked down at the paper, chewing on his corndog stick.
"Well, where are we at?"
"Still in the place where you end sentences with prepositions."
"What you said daddy?"
"Nothing. Which way should we go?"
"I wanna see the giraffes and the gorillers and the elephants."
"Guess we'll go this way. We'll have to see the elephants last, okay?"
"Oh, that's okay. Long's we don't forget."
"How could we forget the elephants?"
"We couldn't. Ben, hurry up and eat! We gotta go soon."
Ben took a bite of his sandwich and chewed it slowly, causing Colton to sigh.
"Colton, have a little patience."
"But I wanna get movin'."
"I know. Hey, we forgot our list!" Adam said excitedly, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket. He and Colton had made a checklist the night before of all the animals they wanted to see, and they now set to work checking off the ones they'd already spotted.
"Man, this has been a hard workin' day," Colton said as he looked at the list. "Lotsa checker marks."
"Yep. Are you having fun?"
"Well mostly. 'Cept for the smell of the animal P.U."
"Yeah, that's not so good. But are you having fun otherwise?"
"Yep. I like that we is all together."
"Yeah, me too."
"I think we've got some tired kids," Adam noted, brushing Ben's hair off of his forehead.
"Almost time to go," Lindsay agreed as the monorail started to move.
"But we not seed the elephants," Colton yawned, rubbing his eyes.
"We're going to see them soon. We're just going to take the monorail to do it," Lindsay said, hoping he would stay awake to see them. They would never hear the end of it if he didn't.
The monorail drove slowly over the tracks and the four of them just sat and relaxed, having been on their feet for hours now. The boys were doing well, not cranky anymore, and had thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Adam had been regaling them with facts about all the animals and they were both entranced and looking at him like he was the smartest man in the world. Lindsay couldn't help the bubble of pride that rose in her chest as she watched all her boys together. She really did have the most amazing husband ever.
"Lookit at those things, mama," Colton said, pointing. "What is it?"
"An antelope."
"Like in the Simba movie."
"Yep."
"Will we see the wildernessbeasts too?" he asked, his eyes growing wide. "I don't want them to run over my daddy like they runned over Fumasa!"
"You mean Mufasa? No, the wildebeests won't run over your daddy."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure," she said, tucking him in close.
"What's that over there?"
"Um… I can't tell."
"I think it's a red panda, bud."
"Him not red. Him brown."
"Yeah, but that's what he's called."
"Oh."
They rode on in silence until Ben jumped off the chair and pointed frantically into the grass.
"Efalents! Efalents! Mama, efalents!" he said, staring out at the animals with wide eyes. His mouth hung open and he was motionless until the elephants were out of sight. He then turned and went back to the bench, snuggling in next to Adam and closing his eyes.
"You done for the day Ben Ry?"
"Ah done," he said, sticking his thumb into his mouth. He had seen all he came for and he was ready to move on.
"That's a rhino over there," Colton said. "He gots a horn."
"Yeah, he does."
"Mama, when we get home, I could call Isa and tell her 'bout all the animals? And about my corndog for lunch?"
"Maybe if it's not too late."
"I hope it not be. I don't wanna forget nothin' 'fore I talk to her."
Adam chuckled and reached out for Lindsay's free hand. He knew exactly what Colton meant about not wanting to forget anything.
The monorail ride came to an end and they trudged off, both holding a kid and not looking forward to the walk back to the car.
"Wanna switch babe? Ben's lighter."
"Nah, I got it. Just help me with the stroller."
It was a long walk, but they finally made it to the car and got everyone inside.
"How long is the drive home again?"
"Including traffic?"
"I didn't think about traffic," he sighed. "You wanna take the wheel?"
"Nope. I promised to love, honor, cherish, and make you drive."
The thirty minute trip took them almost an hour, and the boys were completely conked out in the back seat by the time they arrived home.
"Can we just get the boys out and leave the diaper bag and all that other crap in here until tomorrow?"
"Read my mind babe," Adam answered.
Once inside they flopped down on the couch with the boys who were starting to wake up and catch their second wind.
"Can I call Isa now please? I gotta tell her 'bout when the bears was wrestlin'."
"Why don't you go see if they're on Skype," Lindsay yawned, not wanting to put out the effort to find her phone.
"Okay."
He went over to the computer and opened it, waiting for a minute before signing on.
"It's kind of ridiculous that he knows how to do this," Adam commented. "He must see his mama on there all day long."
"He does not," Lindsay grumbled, wrinkling her nose.
"Hi Austin! Can you see me?"
"Yeah, I can see you."
"I could talk to Isa please? I gotta tell her somethin'."
"Where did you go today?"
"We goed to the zoo! The one in da Bronx a'cuz it has the mostest animals."
"Okay, just makin' sure," she chuckled. "Isa will be here in a second."
"I here now! Hi Colt!"
"Hey, guess what? I seen two bears and they was wrestlin'! And also there was a goat that eated my shirt and I had a corndog for lunch and I seen a giraffe baby too."
"You are so lucky," Isa huffed, crossing her arms. "Can I come the next day you go?"
"Maybe. I will ask mama and daddy. I will bring you some pictures later because we brunged the camera with us. I will show you the animals when I come over soon. Maybe we could have a sleepover."
"Yeah. We could have junk food."
"Yep."
"Here comes Sarah. She's gonna say hi too."
"Hi Colton. I miss you."
"I miss you too," Colton said, resting his chin in his hands. "We gotta ask the grown ups when we can play. I hope they say tomorrow!"
"Me too!" Sarah chirped. "I like it when we play."
"I like it more," Isa said, putting a hand on her hip. "Colt's my best friend."
"But I love him too," Sarah said quietly.
"Yeah. But I love him more."
"Okay."
"Hey girls," Colton said, shaking his finger at the screen. "You can both love me the most. I is irresistible like mama says."
The girls giggled and he gave them a lopsided grin.
"Uh-oh Colt, we gotta go eat dinner. We see you soon."
"Okay. I love you and I love you!"
They all kissed their fingers and touched the screen, then signed off.
"Mama, when can I go play with the girls?" he asked, sliding off the chair. "I miss them very a lot."
"I know. I'll call Austin later and we'll figure something out, okay?"
"Okay. I would like to play with them for a whole day, not just in the morning."
"I'll see what I can do."
It was with heavy eyelids and a tired body that she slid into bed later that night. She yawned so hard her jaw popped and her eyes watered. It was a good tired though, with a reason behind it rather than just being exhausted for the sake of being exhausted.
"How many drinks of water does that kid need?" Adam asked, joining her in the bed.
"I think probably three more."
"Accurate assumption is accurate," he mumbled, sighing and turning to look at her. "Hi."
"Hi."
He smiled and reached over to tuck her hair behind her ear.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
He rolled onto his side and pulled her closer, feeling as if he couldn't get enough.
"You know somethin'?"
"I know lots of somethin's," she answered with a half smile. "I request increased specificity."
"You're weird."
"I was normal until I met you. I'm your fault."
"I have no response for that."
"Why don't you tell me what you were going to say before I stole your thunder."
"The moment's gone."
"Well bring it back," she suggested with a little pout. He laughed and took her hand, threading their fingers together, then staring at them in the moonlight, marveling at how perfect they were. How well they fit. How complete they looked.
"Linds?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you know what an amazing mother you are? Don't make that face, I'm serious. You've always been this way, but lately, with everything… you haven't wavered, honey. Not even a little. You have done everything you can for them and you've love them just as much. You get up in the morning even when it's hard. You spend the whole day out like this, even when you're tired. You dance them around the living room even when you would rather go and cry. You dole out hugs and kisses even when you just want to be alone. Lindsay, there will never, ever be a time when they don't know that you love them. And hopefully someday they will fall in love with women just like that, so they can be as happy as I am."
She sniffled and he kissed her gently.
"I'm proud of you, baby. So proud. You're my hero and I'm buying you a cape for Christmas."
"I couldn't do it without you, Adam. You make me stronger than I would be on my own."
"Forever and ever."
"And ever and ever and ever."