A/N: In which Jellal is drunk. And Laxus is regretting becoming his friend. And Erza is only somewhat bewildered.
"Goddamnit, Fernandes," Laxus grunted, the bigger man's legs buckling under the dead weight of his friend. "I fucking told you that you were a lightweight!"
Jellel let loose a high-pitched giggle, not even aware of his friend dragging him rather roughly across the cobblestone path that would lead the blue-haired mage home. "You're so…pretty, Laxy-boy!"
The blonde groaned in agony, already planning to beat the shit out of the man in the morning while he was hung over; clearly, Jellal deserved the maltreatment. Of course, Laxus would have to live to see morning light first. "Shut the fuck up, man. Erza's gonna kill me."
"Erza wuuuuuuuvvvss me!" Jellal protested meekly, swinging his free arm around in the air. "Wuv wuv wuv wuv wuv-Ah!"
The loud shriek was the result of Laxus getting fed up and throwing his best friend onto his shoulder, Jellal's stomach churning violently. Very violently. And for a second, Jellal regained his normal state of mind.
"Laxus, I'm going to-"
The dragonslayer yelled loudly and threw his best friend off of him as soon as the sounds of said best friend puking reached his ears, stumbling away as the ultramarine emptied the contents of his stomach into someone's garden.
Making up his mind, Laxus decided to deal with the consequences when they came and simply grabbed Jellal's foot, yanking harshly and literally dragging the man's body home. Jellal, still feeling the aftermath of puking, didn't object as rocks dug into the skin of his face and hands.
Finally making it to his destination, Laxus banged loudly on the door, not caring who he woke up. It took a minute, but only a minute, before Erza threw the door open, amber irises dark with fury. She hated when people interrupted her sleep; but as she opened her mouth to yell angrily at her guildmate, only then did she notice the corpse of her husband on the floor, his foot still in Laxus' hand and with barf all over his shirt.
"What…?" She was literally unable to formulate words, eyes going back and forth between the two men. Jellal had told her they were to have a 'guy's night out', but she wasn't expecting this.
"He puked in someone's garden along the way," Laxus began calmly. "And is kinda out of it. Goodnight."
With that, he left the blue-haired idiot in the care of his wife.
A/N: I realized it's been a while since I've updated on here with the drabbles, and thought why the hell not. :)