"Haruka, I have to go to work. Can I trust you to watch her tonight?" Setsuna asked me while putting on her jacket.
"I'm grounded remember? My ass isn't going anywhere." I replied, flipping through the channels of the TV.
"Please at least watch your mouth while Hotaru's staying with us." Mom stated with a sigh.
"sorry." I stated quickly then replied "she's upstairs sleeping right? What could I do wrong?"
she rolled her eyes at that statement and she retorted "you'd manage to do something wrong."
"hey!" I exclaimed, throwing the cushion from the couch at her.
"behave." she replied as she threw it back before kissing me on the head.
I just laughed at that before shoving the cushion behind my head, turning my attention to whatever movie the channel landed on.
"you have the number to the clinic if you need me." Mom added before walking out the door.
I barely payed attention to the movie and must have drifted to sleep because suddenly the sound of Hotaru screaming woke me up.
As soon as I got upstairs and into the room I saw her huddled there on the large bed, shivering violently as sobbed into her knees.
"you okay Hotaru?" I asked softly, flipping on the light.
"Please don't be angry Haruka-San...I'm sorry." she pleaded almost too low for me to hear and I sighed.
"Why on earth would I be mad at you? You just had a nightmare, its not like you broke a window or something." I retorted as I walked over and sat on the side of the bed and untangled her from the covers.
"I...I woke you up." she whimpered in reply, tears still in her eyes and I sighed.
"Nah, I was watching a movie downstairs." I replied and to my surprise she suddenly hugged me, crying into my shirt like it was a lifeline.
I sighed as I ran my hand through her shoulder length raven hair, hoping that the motion would calm her down.
"What was the dream about?" I asked after a few minutes, though she was still clinging to me and I had finally wrapped my arm around her.
"Papa...and...hi...his g...girl friend...the...they..." she began, trembling again and I sighed.
"well you know what? If you have that dream again just know that I'll beat them up if they ever tried to hurt you." I stated, then had an idea. When I was young no one would even care if I woke up in tears and I would have a special place somewhere and I would sneak out and go there when I was upset.
"would you like to sit up with me for a bit? I know how it feels to wake up shaken like this." I asked and she timidly nodded and let me pick her up.
'why the hell am I playing nursemaid?' I cursed myself mentally but when I felt her small arms wrap around my neck my cold thoughts disappeared again.
"why don't we play until you get tired?" I asked gently as I carried her down the stairs and switched off the tv.
"play...what?" she whimpered and I sighed and sat down, sitting her on my lap.
"I don't know, what would you like to do?" I answered, surprising even myself as I wiped the tears from her cheeks.
She shrugged, still shuddering and I sighed. I had no idea how to calm her down and I hated to see her like this, especially now that the bruises seemed worse than before.
As I sat there, holding her I finally had an idea as I recalled something my real dad had done for me when I was a little girl when I had woken up from a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep.
"Why don't we build a fort and camp out in here tonight? That way if you have another bad dream I'll be right here with you?" I asked and she glanced up at me curiously.
"how are we gonna do that? Won't Miss Setsuna get mad?" she asked and I shook my head.
"Nah, as long as I clean it up before someone comes to get you she wont and we'll use the extra pillows and blankets in the hall closet and use the furniture to hold them up." I answered.
It took us a little while but we finally got it done.
"Haruka-San?" Hotaru whimpered suddenly and I turned to her, taking by surprise when I saw her smiling slightly as she added "you're the only person...who ever...plays with me...thank you."
As I heard this it seemed as if someone had shoved a dagger right through my own heart, shattering it. The child meant she had no one, not even a friend and that saddened me for some reason.
"Want to know a secret? I don't have many friends either...only Elza who moved away a while back." I said and she looked surprised.
"but you're really nice." she stated and I shrugged as I answered
"not everyone thinks so, I get bullied and I fight back physically though that only lands me in trouble and disappointing Setsuna."
She moved over to my side and placed her hand on mine and for the first time I realized how small she actually was compared to me.
"but they hurt you first." she stated, looking up at me with her violet eyes full of sympathy and I sighed.
"its never okay to fight Hotaru...Not unless you are protecting someone or yourself. The name calling and rude comments doesn't count in that." I replied then force a smile, I didn't want her to see me upset.
"but we both have at least one friend now huh?" I added in a lighter tone as I stood up and pulled her up gently with me.
"lets go make some hot chocolate okay?" I asked and she smiled and nodded, seeming happier now.
Once we where in the kitchen I started boiling the water, making sure that the kid was no where near the stove.
"may I help?" she asked me and I sighed. I didn't want her getting burned and Mom ending up thinking I wasn't responsible.
"you can get two mugs from that cabinet over there." I replied and she quickly did just that, beaming up at me.
"thanks hime-chan." I stated, wondering where in the heck I had even gotten that comment from. Though when I saw shock flash across her face and then how she glanced up at me like a child would to an older sibling or something I realized why I had said it, deep down in the part of my emotions I thought had died in that car crash years ago I wanted her to have what I never got...not until I was thirteen at least.
After I managed to make the hot chocolate I put the kettle into the sink so that it would cool, however I didn't see the knife that was under the washrag and my hand grazed it, causing crimson liquid to ooze out.
"Fuck!" I growled, closing my eyes to try to prevent the images from washing back through my mind. However it was too late.
The tires squealed as it spun out of control and collided into the cliff, causing the airbags to deploy and the glass to crack. Then I saw red as a shadow shot through the windshield from the drivers side, causing blood to explode across the broken glass and even back onto me.
"Haruka? Are you okay?" Hotaru's soft voice called as I felt her hand touch my arm.
"leave me alone Hotaru...I'm fine...I just need some air." I managed to growl as I was fighting tears and with that I Left the kitchen.
Once I was finally outside I glared up at the sky, allowing the tears to fall but afraid to completely let go.
"Damn it! I should be strong by now...I should..." I grumbled to myself then I heard the door open and soft footsteps come up behind me.
"here...Ruka-san...it helps." The little girl's timid voice whimpered as she pressed a wet cloth into my hand and I turned to her, not even caring if I was crying.
"thank you...but the cut isn't why I'm crying and I'm sorry I snapped at you...its just...seeing blood I remember some bad things that happened when I was a little girl and it makes me really sad." I whispered, ruffling her hair.
I could see that she wanted to ask more but was afraid to and I sighed, Setsuna always told me it would help if I talked about it but I never could, however I knelt down and asked softly "can I tell you what happened Hime-chan?"
She looked surprised at me and nodded as she wrapped her arms around my neck in an attempt to comfort me.
"when I was five my parents and I were coming home from a restaurant because it was my Dad's birthday...the vehicle skidded on ice and spun out of control, hitting another vehicle before slamming into the cliff face...my father wasn't wearing his seat belt so when the car came to a stop..." I couldn't finish it, the memory was still too painful.
However Hotaru seemed to understand as she said with tears in her eyes "I'm sorry Ruka-san."
I sighed and hugged her, holding back my own tears so that I could be strong for Hotaru.
"I never told anyone that before kid, not even mom and she tries to get me to talk about it...see Setsuna adopted me when I was thirteen from a really bad foster family...that hit me like you where hit but because I am...not like most girls." I added as I carried her back into the house and sat her at the table.
"drink it before it gets cold." I stated putting the cup of hot chocolate in front of her before I found myself a bandage for my hand.
After we had finished the drinks we returned to our fort, though as we lay there beneath the canopy of blankets I noticed Hotaru still couldn't seem to sleep.
"would you like to sleep by me kid? I don't bite." I asked and she glanced at me, almost disbelievingly at my words.
"can I?" she whispered, sounding almost frightened and I sighed.
"sure." I retorted and she came to my side and lay down, resting her head on my ribcage and in no time at all she was asleep.