"Mama?"

Lindsay opened her eyes and sighed, seeing that it was still dark outside. Colton was leaning against the bed, his face pressed close to hers and she could barely see him in the darkness but she knew exactly the look he had on his face.

"What time is it?"

"Four oh, oh," he replied, looking at the clock.

"It's too early to be up."

"But mama… I can't remember my teacher's name!"

"Well it's four in the morning so I can't either."

"But mama!"

She sighed and yawned, clearing her mind a little.

"Her name is Mrs. Lawrence. Go to bed."

"Mama?"

"What?"

"Does she gots a daughter named Topanga?"

"I doubt it."

"Mama?"

"What?"

"Is her name Topanga?"

"What?"

"Is she married to Cory?"

"Son," Adam started, rolling over. "If she was married to Cory her name would be Mrs. Matthews. Now go to sleep."

"You got a point, daddy," he sighed. "Can I please sleep in this bed for a while?"

He was climbing up onto the bed before they could even decide and he wiggled himself between them.

"Hey dude I was here first," Adam grumbled as he had to move his hand off of Lindsay's stomach.

"Sorry daddy. I need to have snuggles this morning because my tummy is very, very upset."

"Are you nervous about school?"

"Yeah. I just don't want to make enemies, you know? And what if I'm not smart and the other kids are? What if my teacher is mean? What if I get lost going to the bathroom? What if I don't learn enough and then I can't go to college and be a doctor? What if I never am a doctor just because I was so bad at kindergarten?"

"Aw bud," Adam chuckled, wrapping his arms around his son and kissing his head. "It's going to be just fine. Kindergarten is just to get you ready for real school. It's like the first level of a video game. It might be kind of hard at first but the more you do it the easier it will be. You don't worry about the other kids, okay? You just go and learn all you can and have fun. That's your only job when you're a kid. Okay?"

"What was it like when you went to kindergarten the first day, daddy?"

"It was a little scary, but I made some friends and I had a really good teacher. I liked kindergarten a lot."

"Yeah, I did too," Lindsay agreed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I got to go do something all by myself, without my mom and dad or my brothers. I learned to read in kindergarten. And once you learn to read buddy, you can go on an adventure whenever you want to."

"I can?"

"Of course," Adam said with a nod. "Once you can read, you can read any book in the world and you can get into any story you want. You could read about spending the night in a museum or hunting a great white whale, or you could solve mysteries."

"How many days until I could read?" he asked, suddenly excited about school instead of nervous.

"Well it's going to take some time and hard work, but you should be able to read a little bit by the time Christmas comes."

"That means you will buy me books for Christmas right?"

"If you wanted some books I bet we could."

"I want so many," he yawned. "I want to read all your favorite books so I could go on your adventures too."

"Okay. Get some more sleep, it's going to be a long day."

Colton drifted off after a few moments and Adam looked over at Lindsay to see how she was feeling about the whole thing. She looked so sad laying there, watching Colton as he slept and holding his hand.

"Babe?"

"He's getting so big," she whispered. "He was a baby, like three days ago. And now look at him. He's a little man. I can't believe how fast he grew up."

"He's not completely grown up yet honey."

"I know. I guess I just don't know what comes next really. It's as scary for me as it is for him."

"I know. I always wonder if I'm doing a good job. Teaching him to be a good man and a good person. It's so much responsibility and it gets heavier every day."

"I know. But I don't worry about the kind of men they'll be. Because they have you and if all they ever do is watch what you do and then go out and be just the kind of man they see you being, then they will be very good men."

He just smiled, not sure exactly what to say.

"Think we can get a couple more hours of sleep before he's up again?"

"We can give it the old college try."

"Kindergarten try."

"Well what do you want to wear?" Lindsay asked, exasperatedly tossing another polo shirt into the drawer.

"I dunno."

"Well if you don't know what you want to wear how do you know what you don't want to wear?"

"I'm so smart mama."

She snorted and shook her head.

"Okay, why don't you take five minutes and find something to wear while I make your breakfast."

"Oatmeal please, mama. With flax in it for crunchy."

"Yes, sir," she said, giving him a salute before leaving the room and starting down the stairs. The phone was ringing when she entered the kitchen, and she grabbed a pot out of the cupboard before answering it.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Isa's asking if we can meet you guys at your house and walk to the school instead of meeting you there. I think she's a little nervous."

"Yeah, that's fine. What is she wearing?"

"Jeans and a t-shirt. I figured she'd be more comfortable in something she picked."

"You're so smart. I just gave up."

"You guys still want to do brunch like a bunch of yuppies afterwards?"

"Yeah, I think so. Are you as nervous as I am about this whole thing?"

"Yes. I was pretty nauseous all night long. I can't believe they're this old."

"It's ridiculous."

"I think they're taking it better than we are," Austin chuckled. "Isa's jumping on the bed, singing some song about crayons and cubbies and recess."

"I'm not surprised."

"We'll meet you at your place in like twenty minutes?"

"Yeah, that should work."

They hung up just as the water in the pot came to a boil and Colton galloped down the stairs. He was wearing a Star Wars t-shirt with an unbuttoned short sleeved flannel over the top, a pair of Levi's and some cowboy boots.

"You look like daddy," Lindsay commented with a grin.

"That's what I was aiming for. Is my breakfast ready?"

"Almost. Why don't you get your backpack and make sure you have everything you need?"

He dashed into the back room and grabbed his Yankees bag off the hook by the door, then brought it back to the kitchen, climbing up on one of the stools at the counter.

"What's this paper, mama?"

"It's those questions your teacher wanted you to answer, remember?"

He nodded and looked down at it, not able to read it, but remembering the kinds of questions that were on the sheet. He'd answered questions about his family and friends, things he liked to do and what he hoped to learn in school. It wasn't clear to him why his teacher needed to know those things, but he hadn't minded being interviewed about his life. It made him feel quite important.

Lindsay placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of him and repacked his bag while he ate.

"Where's daddy and Ben?"

"They went for a walk to go get a newspaper. Do you want some banana too?"

"Mama, if you feed me too much I will throw up on the tire swing later!"

"Okay, that's fine."

He ate quickly, then let out a huge burp, laughing hysterically at the look on Lindsay's face.

"That was gross."

"Mama, I heard you do bigger ones."

"You have not. I'm a lady."

"Daddy says you score a ten."

She giggled and started to clean up the dishes as Adam and Ben returned.

"Mama, we go!" Ben hollered, handing her the paper. "Outside in sun!"

"I know, it's a really nice day isn't it?"

"Yep. See Dunner now?"

"In a little while. Do you want some oatmeal?"

"Nu-uh," he answered, climbing up on the stool next to Colton. "Hi Cole."

"Hey Ben. Do you wish for to come to school with me?"

"Yep!"

"Maybe I could take you for show and tell! I don't got nothing else cool to take."

"Ben cool?"

"Yeah Ben, you're cool."

"Mama! Daddy! Ben cool! Cole say!"

They chuckled at his enthusiasm, and Lindsay felt a pit start to form in her stomach as she wondered how the boys would handle being apart more often. They might bicker and fight over toys, but they really did love each other and didn't really enjoy spending time away from each other.

Colton finished his breakfast and jumped down from the stool, then stopped to help Ben down too.

"When are we going to leave for school?"

"When Isa gets here in a little while."

"Do we have time to play?"

"Yeah, but don't make a mess."

They ran off into the other room and Adam leaned against the counter, chuckling.

"Don't make a mess?"

"I know it fell on deaf ears but at least I tried."

"Could be said for so many things."

"Like "Adam why don't you ever put your dirty boxers in the hamper?" Things like that?"

"Or like when you tell yourself you can only have one piece of pie."

"I'm pregnant, I can eat whatever I want."

He chuckled and leaned over to kiss her.

"You're a hottie with a body."

"Thanks."

He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned into him, feeling the baby kick ferociously as his space was invaded.

"He's a fighter," she said as a foot was placed firmly against her lungs.

"He gets that from you."

She smiled and kissed him, holding onto his biceps as he dipped her just the slightest bit.

"Wooing me?"

"Always."

"Don't you think I've been sufficiently wooed?"

"Nope. I'm going to woo you so hard…"

She snorted and he let her stand up, releasing her just as the Messers came in the front door.

"Indy!"

"Isa!"

"You like my outfit?"

"I do. Did you and Colton plan to dress the same?"

"Yep. Last night on Skype. But he wanted to wear boots and I wanted Chucks."

"Oh, I see."

"Hey Indy," Isa whispered, crooking her finger. Lindsay leaned down and smiled at the whispered secret. "I am so excited for school."

"I know you are. Should we go now?"

"Yep. Colt come on!" she shouted. "Let's go!"

The sun was shining and the birds were singing and everything said that this was going to be a perfect day. But for two mamas, there were dark rainclouds over everything. They watched as their kids held hands and walked down the sidewalk, chattering excitedly to each other. It was bittersweet to watch them all grown up, about to embark on a new part of their lives that their mamas couldn't regulate.

"I wonder if it's like this every time or just the first," Austin sighed.

"I hope just the first. I don't want to do this two more times."

They were quickly approaching the school and Colton and Isa were slowing down a little, the reality of it all sinking in. They were going to have to do this alone. Without the other kids, without their parents. Just each other. That's all they were going to have. They stood at the door of the school, a door they'd walked through only once before to meet their teacher and see their classroom and suddenly all the preparing wasn't enough. Neither one of them wanted to look back at their parents, neither one of them wanted to show fear, but their grip on each other's hands tightened exponentially.

"Are you guys ready?"

They both snapped to attention at Danny's voice, nodding solemnly as he opened the door for them. It was just as they remembered it, with colorful paintings and drawings on the walls, lots of art supplies and books and desks arranged in squares of four. There were names on all the desks and the kids hesitantly looked around for their names, finding them close to each other through alphabetical order, but they would be sitting back to back.

They were greeted by their teacher who knelt down and put them at ease within seconds, telling them what they were going to do that day. It didn't take long before they were sitting in their desks, unloading their backpacks and organizing things just how they wanted them. They looked so confident, so happy, that everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Sarah wandered over and checked out the set up while Ben and Junior begged to leave because this was not fun anymore.

All too soon, the clock ticked and it was time to leave. Danny and Adam both crouched down to give their kids hugs and words of advice, then wrangled the other kids into the hallway. Lindsay and Austin took a few minutes longer, telling the kids how much they loved them and would miss them and how much fun kindergarten would be. It was almost getting to the point that the teacher was going to have to shoo them out of the room, so with final hugs and kisses, they joined the rest of the family in the hallway.

"You two gonna blubber or can we go get breakfast?" Adam asked, stopping Ben from pushing the water fountain button again.

"Breakfast," they answered together. Just breakfast and soon it would be time to pick the kids up again.

"I remember my first day of kindergarten," Danny said, swirling the last of his coffee around in his mug while Sarah bounced around in his lap. "My ma wouldn't leave, kept telling me how I was her baby, kissin' me in front of the other kids. I was so glad when she left I don't even remember the rest of the day."

"My mom was like that too," Adam agreed with a chuckle. "I thought she was going to turn around and take me right back home."

"I told my mom to high tail it out of there before I screamed that she was a crazy woman trying to kidnap me," Austin added with a laugh. "She left and came back late to pick me up, just to teach me a lesson."

Lindsay smiled along with them, but for the first time she really realized how different her first day of kindergarten had been. Her mother hadn't been there. She'd been off who knew where, doing who knew what, at a time when Lindsay had really needed her. She felt a surge of resentment, as she often did when she thought of that one year without her mother.

"Linds?"

"Hmm?"

"Your first day of school?"

"Oh. Um… my mom wasn't there," she said quickly. "But my dad took me and he sat in the hallway outside my classroom all morning. When I came out he'd rolled the bill of his baseball hat so far that he couldn't wear it."

"Worried that you wouldn't be able to hold your own?"

"More like worried some poor kid would look at me wrong and I'd use those fighting skills my brothers taught me."

"So basically he's still stranglin' his hat?" Danny asked with a chuckle.

"Basically."

"I remember some kid that sat in the back row of my class made farting noises all morning," Adam said with a laugh. "The teacher couldn't figure out which kid it was and no one was going to rat on him because he was a bully, so she just had to try and teach over the top of the noise. I'm pretty sure she took a shot of something during recess."

"Adam, are you sure you weren't the kid in the back of the class?"

"No! I sat in the front of the class and I didn't disrupt, not even once. Even the time I fell asleep and fell out of my chair, no one noticed."

"Aw, poor cupcake," Danny laughed. "My school would have eaten you alive."

"I'm sure it would have. I was the wimpiest kid on the planet. Didn't help that my mom dressed me like a dork."

"Your mom don't dress you no more, what's your excuse now?"

"Shut up, Austin."

She laughed as Sarah switched from Danny's lap to hers, continuing to color on the paper placemat that the waitress had brought.

"What are you drawing sweetie?" Lindsay asked quietly while everyone else kept talking.

"Just me and Isa playin'. I miss her."

"Yeah. Do you think she's having fun?"

"I bet. When is it time to go get them again?"

"In a little while."

Sarah looked up at her, unshed tears in her eyes.

"I miss Colton too," she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I just want our whole family to be together right now."

"I do too. But as you guys grow up you're going to have to go to school and do things away from our family."

"But it will be scary."

"I know it will. That's why you have a family, so after you do the scary thing, you have somewhere safe to come home to, and people who love you and will make it better."

"That's what a family is for?"

"That's part of it. The other part is to get you ready before you go and do the scary thing so it's not so scary anymore."

"Oh, I get it! We need the biggest family we can get, huh?"

"Yeah, that's the idea."

Sarah nodded and returned to her drawing while Lindsay tuned back into the conversation.

"And pretty soon they'll be going to prom and graduating high school and- "

"Adam, shut UP," Austin said, annoyed. "They're not going to grow up that fast! They have many more years of driving us crazy before they fly the coop!"

"Or maybe they'll never fly the coop."

"Don't say that either!"

"It was the best day of my life!" Colton hollered, running out of his classroom and crashing into Lindsay's arms. "It was so fun mama! We got a pet in our classroom and he's a hedgehog and his name is Mortimer and we also have some fish named Ginger and Wasabi and sometimes we could take them home on the weekends! And we learned how to write our names today and me and Isa did so good but she did not want to write Isabeth, just Isa, so I writed just Colt and the teacher said that was okay for today, but later she wants us to write our whole names. And we learned how to hold pencils and not choke them and we got new pencils too and mine is snakes and I get to practice writing with it tonight on special paper that my teacher gave me!"

He stopped to take a breath then launched back in.

"Recess was so much fun and Isa and me taked turns on the tireswing and then we had a snack time too and nobody else in the whole class had carrots and hummus like I did! And then we drew pictures of us and wrote our names on them and hung them in the classroom. And mine said that my name is Colton and my favorite color is green today and blue tomorrow. And at the end we could do whatever we wanted and me and Isa drew a big picture of our whole family and teacher put it on the wall. Except we will have to make a new one when the baby is born later and I know what he looks like. Also sometimes I got scared so then me and Isa held hands and we weren't scared anymore. I can't wait to go back tomorrow, it's the best day of all my life!"

Lindsay laughed as she hugged him, completely relieved that his first day had been a success.

"I really did miss you, mama," he whispered so no one else would hear. "I wanted you to come to kindergarten with me."

"I missed you too. Are you ready to go home?"

"Yep. I want to show you all my stuff! And Ben too! I think I could teach him to write his name now."

"You can certainly try."

He gave her another hug, then stepped back and moved over to Austin, throwing his arms around her neck while Isa traded her mom for Lindsay.

"Did my girl have fun today?"

"Yep! I love kindergarten, Indy."

"I'm glad."

They headed out of the school and met the rest of the family on the playground. Sarah and Isa crashed into each other with hugs while Colton hopped from one foot to the other, recounting his day for Ben and Junior who didn't really care, but were fascinated enough at Colton's newfound independence that they listened anyway.

It was nearing noon by the time the families separated and went to their own homes. Colton and Isa hugged each other tightly before they parted, both exclaiming how excited they were for tomorrow.

"Come on Ben," Colton said, once they were inside. "You can watch me do my homework. It's very important!"

They dashed up into their room and Lindsay stood at the bottom of the stairs, one hand on her stomach as she leaned against the wall.

"You okay?" Adam asked, running a hand through her hair.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm just so glad he liked it because if I had to force him to go I would hate myself for a very long time."

He smiled and kissed her.

"You're the best mother in the world. And I am so proud of you."

"You'll hold me when I cry later?"

"Yes, I will."