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CHAPTER 8

Quatre was full of needles and tubes. Machines had been living for him for two days. Trowa alternated between the weak blond and his newborn child. Duo regretted it, but he had to leave. Camille needed to be at home and get a full night's rest. Duo cursed Heero's absence. He wanted someone else to worry with. Right now he had to be strong and confidant for Trowa and to believe in Quatre. He hadn't realized how much he relied on them for taking care of Cammi until he was the only one doing it. Relena always offered to watch Camille, but Duo felt that at the moment babysitting was one appetizer too many on her crowded plate of obligations.

According to Dr. Croats, Quatre's body was just giving out. It was exhausted from the baby and then the stress of delivering the baby was literally killing him. Duo shook his head in amazement whenever he thought about it. Quatre was a strong, he may not win a wrestling match anytime soon, but he had a different kind of strength.

Duo made his way, shuffling along into Camille's temporary room downstairs. She was sleeping very peacefully. Duo sat in her rocking chair and watched her. No matter how much he missed Heero right now, at least he had his daughter.

She was perfect. She could be cranky, but what baby wasn't. She liked strangers, but sometimes she just wanted to be with her parents. Considering the slightly crazy schedule they had been working on for the last two days, she was acting admirably. Duo's heart swelled while he looked at her. She meant the world to him, he would do anything for her. Sometimes the rush of emotions was unbearable. Right now he couldn't do anything to prove his love for her except love her back.

Duo wondered if she noticed Heero's absence in her life. Probably. Heero was always the one to get her when she woke up in the morning, because Duo was not an early riser. She cried more in the mornings now. Sometimes Duo wanted to cry in the mornings too. Every morning waking up alone, spreading your hand across the sheet, feeling for another warm body and finding nothing. During the days he was okay, but at night and in the mornings, he felt Heero's absence with a keen awareness.

The phone ringing jolted him out of his reverie. He got up and went to answer.

"Hello?"

"Duo!" It was Trowa, "Quatre's awake!"

XxXxX

Duo arrived at the hospital, Cammi was sleeping against his chest. Quatre was mirroring him with his own daughter. Duo smiled when he saw Quatre propped up on the pillows, still pale, but awake. There were very few needles poking into him now.

"Look who decided to wake up?" Duo joked as he entered. Trowa was sitting next to Quatre, taking a picture. Trowa's face was ecstatic. His eyes seemed to be devouring Quatre's body. He barely spared a glance for Duo, who stood on the other side of Quatre.

"What are you going to name her?" Duo asked, looking at Quatre and Trowa.

"Her name is Gemma." Quatre replied, smiling. The baby's hair was barely visible. She looked bald. Fine, white hair covered her chrome. Lighter than even Quatre's hair. Duo pulled a chair up and spent a few minutes talking to Quatre. Duo could tell Quatre was still tired., though, and so he stood and bid them farewell.

Duo walked down the hallway, toward the waiting room where the exit lie. He was relieved, so relieved he knew he was shaking a little from it. In the waiting room he saw a familiar figure.

"They won't let you in doc?" Duo joked, looking down at Dr. Croats. The doctor had his head in his hands, clutching his gray hair. "Hey, doc, what's wrong?" He looked at Duo, his eyes were troubled.

He looked uncertain for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to tell Duo what was on his mind. He must have chosen to, because after a brief pause he spoke, "I cannot do this anymore. When it was you, I convinced myself that the reason you were so weak afterwards was because of the kidnapping and your poor treatment. I was fooling myself." He shook his head, "If all that results from my work is death, then I will stop."

"Doc, everyone is okay! Quatre and I, Gemma and Camille, we are all fine. Healthy!" Duo smiled at him encouragingly.

"No, not everyone." Dr. Croats sighed.

"What do you mean?" Duo asked.

"There was another. Another person who asked for the surgery. He wanted to remain completely anonymous, he wanted no one to know. He was before Quatre, after you. So I did it." The doctor shook. "He didn't make it, neither did his son." Dr. Croats sighed. "And then there was Quatre. I thought he was going to die. Like Jason did. I couldn't bear the thought. Looking at it now. It is not worth people's lives."

Duo didn't know what to say, how to comfort him. It shook him that Dr. Croats was so upset about what had happened. "When was this?" Duo inquired, keeping his voice calm and gentle.

"Six days ago." Dr. Croats grimaced, "and the worst part is, Jason's wife blames herself. Not me. . ."

"His wife?" Duo asked surprised. That didn't make much sense to him.

"She couldn't have children. She'd tried but miscarried twice. She nearly died the second time, so he decided to be the one to carry the child." Dr. Croats sighed, "They could have adopted, but no they wanted their own."

"Doc. . . Sometimes, things happen. Things we can't do anything about – that is no reason to give up."

"No, Duo. I can do something. I can prevent it from happening again. From this moment on, I will no longer induce pregnancy on anyone."

XxXxX

It had been four weeks since Gemma had been born. It was one of the first days that Duo and Quatre weren't going to spend together, both of them recovered enough to be a little independent. Which was good, because Duo was spending the morning with his head in the toilet. Which was bad, because he had an eight month old baby girl who really shouldn't be around her father while he was puking his guts out.

It was Saturday, so Duo pulled out his phone to call a friend, see if maybe she could take Camille for the day. Her name was Becca, she was Sam's fiancée and had visited Camille quite a bit, so he was sure Cammi would be okay with her for a day or so.

Becca had agreed wholeheartedly, and came over immediately. Duo had packed all of Cammi's things up into a gigantic bag and gave her over. Camille didn't fuss at all, which relieved Duo who sat down on the couch to watch the morning pass through the window.

He'd been trying to ignore the fact that Heero had only one week to get back to him. From all the news reports the war wouldn't be ending anytime soon. Duo tried not to think about it, and instead turned the television on softly for background noise.

Though he had felt quite miserable an hour ago, he was beginning to feel energy course through his limbs again. Uncertain as to whether it was a false alarm or he had just imagined himself ill, he decided to wait on whether or not to retrieve his daughter. Instead, he went upstairs and pulled out some exercise clothes. He hadn't been able to exercise very much lately. He thought he might possibly be gaining weight from all the sitting around he was doing.

He sat on the floor and began to stretch. He intended to take a run, but knew that maybe he needed to start with a walk. He hadn't used his leg like that since before it was shot and it was definitely still stiff. Duo moaned as he stretched his thigh out and felt the tender muscles pulling under his ministrations.

He pulled the door shut, locked the door (a habit Heero had forced Duo to pick up), and turned down his driveway. Duo used to go to the park to go running, but there was ample room for running where he lived now. They lived in a very rural area with only a few houses in a mile. He could just run on the road and only pass three cars all day.

He felt comfortable in his walking pace so he picked it up to a run, he still ran with a off-kilter gait. His thigh was still tight.

It had rained the night before and the air was wet and green smelling. The fresh air intoxicated him in a way alcohol never could. Duo felt himself turning the jog into a longer, loping run. The air rushed past him, and tickled strands of hair out from his braid. It was magnificent.

Duo hadn't made it very far before his stomach started to feel nauseous again. Turning around, Duo headed back to his house. When he nearly heaved, he slowed to a walk. It took him at least twice as long to walk back from whence he came. Once home, he headed straight for the bath and began running hot water. He had the chills, and he cursed himself for overexerting himself when he knew he wasn't feeling well.

XxXxX

Heero was running out of time and energy, though he would never admit to the latter. No matter what he did, this pathetic war was not being solved. More and more now, he was thinking of Duo – and how much he wanted to be with him. He had been doing his best to ignore thoughts of him until now, but now. . . he had only been able to ignore them by promising himself that in six, five, four, three, two weeks he would be seeing Heero. Try as he might he couldn't suppress his mental countdown.

His efforts seemed futile, he was just one man. Before he was one man – with a really big gundam. It was different then. He worked on his own now. Try as he might his impact was small. Little by little he was changing things, but it wasn't the same. Never before had Heero felt the same urgency he felt now. He missed toothy smiles and incoherent babbling, soft skin and the unfading trust of an infant. He missed Duo's passion and attitude. He was stuck in a world of gray, and all he wanted was to get back to his world of color.

Something had to be done. . .

tsutsuku. . .

XxXxX

Read, review, whatever. . . Annie has decided she is ready for school to be done. . .

Annie