A/N: Everything by Michael Buble. Yes, it is on my Adam and Lindsay playlist. Yes, I do have one of those. No I don't have a life or very many friends. How did you guess?

"Alright, you've got to tell me what's bugging you," Lindsay sighed as the boys stomped out of the room, upset that Adam didn't want to play with them.

"Nothing's bugging me," he sighed, continuing his work on the computer. "I just think they can play by themselves sometimes. I don't have to entertain them all the time."

She dried her hands on a dishtowel and gave him a surprised look.

"What?"

"I'm just a little shocked. You aren't usually like that. Usually you'll… never mind you're not paying attention anyway."

"No, what do you want to say?" he asked closing the laptop and looking at her, his eyes narrowed slightly.

"I'm not going to talk to you when you're like this," she sighed, grabbing the baby monitor off the counter and leaving the kitchen. She went into the utility room and pulled the clothes out of the dryer, throwing them into a basket.

"Hey, you don't just leave it hanging like that," Adam said, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorjamb.

"You know what Adam? Figure it out."

"You're mad that I needed to pay the bills before I played with the boys?"

"No. I'm mad that you've been grumping around here for an entire week. You're constantly snapping at the boys and they didn't do anything wrong, you go hours without saying a word to me and the other times I've brought it up you change the subject. You don't want to talk about it Adam? Fine, then I don't either."

They stared at each other for a while and she was about to lay into him again when he sighed and dropped his head.

"My father's been calling."

"That's what this is about?" she exploded, slamming the dryer door. "Seriously? That douchenozzle calls you and you think that gives you license to act like a jerk?"

"You know how it bugs me, Lindsay!"

"Yeah I know it bugs you but you're not nine years old anymore. Don't let him dictate how you treat your family."

"I know that! Don't you think it bugs me too? Don't you think I hate being like this?"

"No, I don't think you hate it, I think you don't care because you haven't stopped! I don't want to talk about this anymore. Just get your act together."

She shoved past him and grabbed the laundry, taking it over to the couch to sort it.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Now I admit I've been a complete-"

"Crapstain?"

"Okay, fine. But that doesn't give you the right to walk out on me."

"Maybe it doesn't but I don't really care at this point."

"Lindsay," he started, grabbing her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I really am. I know how I get but it's like my nerves are frayed and I just can't stop myself from being angry."

"I get that. I really do. But that isn't my fault and it's not the kids fault either."

He sighed and bowed his head in shame. She wanted to lift his gaze up again, but she needed him to feel the impact of his foul mood.

"Are you going to tell me about it? What does he want this time?"

"To see me. Meet you and the kids."

"How many times did he call?"

"Every day for the last week."

"And you didn't tell me because?"

"Because I didn't want you to worry. With him calling that much…"

"Okay, that's fair but if you're worried that we're not safe, don't you think you need to tell me that so I can be aware of it?"

"Yeah."

"You're going to have to do something about this."

"What can I do?"

"I don't know. You don't have anything to go on for a restraining order. Is he still calling from a blocked number?"

"Yeah."

"Then we'll change ours and hope he doesn't find out where we live."

"Okay."

"Beyond that… have you thought about giving him what he wants?"

"You had better not be talking about what I think you're talking about," he said in the angriest, most stern voice he had ever used with her.

"Look, I know what happened back then. I understand that you don't want to have anything to do with him. But he can't hurt you now. He has no power over you-"

"No!"

"Adam!"

"I am not seeing him, I am not letting him around you or the boys."

"Maybe it will make him go away!"

"Are you serious? That's just going to give him more power. Giving him what he wanted is what my mom did for years. That's why he managed to hurt me so bad, Lindsay. I am not giving him what he wants. I'm not."

"Adam, maybe he really has changed! He didn't hit Tim, maybe he changed after-"

"Stop it! He didn't change Lindsay. He didn't stop hating me, he just went away. He's a manipulator and he only wants to hurt me again."

"Adam-"

"I'm going for a walk."

He stomped out the front door and she slumped to the couch, holding her head in her hands and ignoring Avery's crying for just a minute. She needed to breathe. That was the worst fight they'd ever had, as far as volume and the anger in his voice. She couldn't believe it had actually happened.

"Mama! Sissy cryin'!"

She stood from the couch and went upstairs, scooping Avery out of her crib and shushing her.

"It's okay baby. Sorry we woke you up. Shh, it's alright. Go back to sleep. It's not time for you to be awake yet."

She sat down in the rocking chair and continued talking in a soft voice, holding her close until she calmed down.

"There, that's better. Have your plug and go back to sleep sweetness."

Colton peeked into the room, his face drawn with worry and his finger in his mouth.

"Mama?"

"What's the matter baby?"

"Um…" he started, walking over and climbing into what was left of her lap. "Did daddy leave?"

"He just went for a walk honey."

He sighed and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Are you and daddy gettin' badorced?"

"Getting what?"

"Badorced, mama," he said again, lifting his head up and looking her in the eye. "Badorced."

"You mean divorced? No, Colton, of course not."

"But my friend Oliver at school, his mama and daddy was fightin' all the time and they got… that word you said. And now he lives with his mama or his daddy but they are not a family together anymore. I don't want us to stop bein' a family! So you and daddy can't fight anymore. Please mama, please don't fight with daddy anymore!"

The tears that ran down her face matched his and she wrapped her free arm around him as her stomach churned.

"Colton, daddy and I are never going to split up. Never, ever, ever."

"But you was fightin'!"

"That wasn't a fight honey. Sometimes grown ups just have to yell and get all the frustrations out."

"But why did daddy leave?"

"Daddy and I both feel better after we get some fresh air. That's all he's doing."

"It was really loud angry yelling, mama."

"I know it was. You know how Ben gets upset when you tell him he has a big head? Because that's his sore spot and it really bothers him? Daddy has a sore spot too and I picked at it today. Neither one of us was wrong and neither one of us was right, but I should have been gentler with his sore spot."

"What's daddy's sore spot?"

She sighed and continued to rock the chair, not wanting to lie and not wanting to tell him the truth either.

"It's just grown up stuff, baby. Someday daddy and I will tell you about it together. It's not something you need to worry about though, alright?"

He wiped his tears away and sat up.

"How long will daddy be gone?"

"Not very long."

"He's been very unhappy with us, mama. Did we do something wrong?"

"No. You didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes it's hard for adults to compartmentalize. I mean, it's hard for us to stay angry at the bad thing and sometimes it spills over into things that we don't need to be angry with."

"Bein' a grown up is complicated, mama."

"Yes it is. It really, really is."

"Are you sure that you and daddy aren't gettin' divorced? Are you really, really, really sure?"

"I am sure, Colton. Me and daddy, we have a kind of marriage where we can't get divorced, no matter what. We are always going to be a family. Daddy and I will never leave each other and we will never give up on each other."

"How do you know? How do you know that you love daddy and that daddy loves you that much?"

"Because I just know. Because we've got three babies to prove it. "

"How much do you love daddy?"

"I love daddy more than any woman in the history of the whole entire world has ever loved any man in the history of the whole entire world."

"Wow. That is a lot. Will it go on forever and ever?"

"Yes, it will. I will never ever stop loving your daddy."

"Okay."

She raked her hand through his curls and rubbed his back, sighing and still feeling sick about the whole thing. She knew Adam would be back and she knew they would be fine, but she was also increasingly more aware of what she had said to him and how he had taken it and what she had really asked him to do. It hadn't been fair and even though she'd often wondered why he just didn't get it over with, she knew that she didn't completely understand where he was coming from. She tried, but never having been in the situation herself, she didn't know where his mind was, at least not completely. She knew that if he could do it, he would do it, but if he wasn't going to do it then it was something that he couldn't do.

"Mama, could we go read a book together in the big bed?"

"Yeah, sure. Why don't you and Ben pick out a few and meet me and sister up there?"

"Okay."

He scampered off into the other room and she went upstairs, settling onto the bed and grabbing her cell phone, knowing the boys would be several minutes picking books.

"Hey Lindsay –Loo."

"Um, this can't be Austin, she would never say something like that."

"I had coffee. A lot of it. Too much of it."

"Should I call you back once you've returned to a normal state of being?"

"No, I actually have time to talk right now, we can't waste it. What's up?"

"I'm a really bad wife today."

"You're never a bad wife, Linds."

"You're going to retract that statement in a minute."

"What did you do?"

"His dad's been calling again."

"I figured. He's been cranky."

"Yeah. I may have suggested that he might want to maybe… I can't even tell you, it's so stupid."

"Lin."

"I said that maybe he should meet with his father."

There was a silence from the other end of the line and Lindsay closed her eyes preparing for the words she was about to hear.

"You're not wrong."

"What?"

"You're not wrong, Lin."

"I'm not?"

"No. I'm not Adam, so I don't know exactly how he feels, but I can say that confronting his father might not be a totally bad thing. And I know you're thinking what do I know, I run away from that kind of confrontation any chance I get, but I know that they can change and if that's what's happened, he's going to be sad that he missed it."

"Austin?"

"Yeah?"

"What was in that coffee?"

Austin chuckled.

"He went for a walk right?"

"Yeah."

"Give him that time to cool off and figure out what he wants to do, and then support him in it. Even if you don't agree, you have to trust that he knows the situation better than you do, and he will make the right decision."

"I know. I do trust him. It's just so hard to communicate with him when he's like this. He just gets so mad and hurt and I don't know how to make it better for him."

"Let him be mad and hurt. He wants to take care of you and protect you and provide for you and all that other "I am man, I bring food" stuff, and he knows that in order to do that he has to take care of himself too. Let him lick his wounds and figure things out. If I know one thing about that man it's that he is never going to let anything come between the two of you. Ever. He'll be home and he might want your input, so just be open to what he's saying, okay?"

"I will. Thanks."

"You're welcome. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Call me back if you need me."

"I'll always need you."

"Right back at you. Bye Lin."

"Bye."

They both stayed on the line for a few extra seconds, their unconscious way of reassuring the other that they hadn't really left for good. Neither one of them knew when it had started but it always felt strange when they had to say a rushed goodbye and hang up immediately. A few more seconds passed and they disconnected the call.

Avery was looking up at Lindsay intently, blowing bubbles without realizing it, and waving her hand happily. Her crying jags had been few and far between and they were so close to getting a smile out of her it was almost exhilarating.

"Should we turn on some music, lovey? Wanna shake your groove thing?"

She found the remote for the stereo and turned it on, taking Avery's hands and gently making her dance to the music. She cooed happily at the soft music and Lindsay leaned down to kiss her.

"Are you a happy girl today smoochy? You look happy. When are you going to grow more hair so I can put pretties in it?"

"Yeah Avery," Colton agreed, coming into the room laden down with books. "Girls s'pposed to have longish hair. You have boy hair baby."

Lindsay chuckled and sat Avery up in her lap while the boys settled in on either side of her.

"Sissy share blankie with Ben," he said, draping the blanket over his sister.

"You're a good big brother, Ben."

"Hey, hey, I am too!"

"Yes, you are too Colton. Avery is the luckiest little sister in the world."

Adam walked for a long time, weaving through the neighborhood, not sure where he was going, but knowing that he had to move. He didn't want to fight and he didn't want to be angry, but Lindsay just didn't understand how hard this was for him. His father's voice, even when it was just saying normal things still struck him and all he could hear was the hate. How in the world could he meet the man, face to face? How could he look at the person who had hurt him so badly and scarred him so deeply? Where in the world would he find the strength for that?

He briefly considered going to talk to Austin about it, knowing she understood it better than Lindsay did, but would never take sides on the matter either. In the end though, he knew what she would tell him, and he also knew that he needed to talk to Lindsay again first. Austin would be there to understand, but the longer he stayed out, the bigger the wedge would be driven between him and Lindsay on the matter and he needed her as close as he could get her right now.

He trudged back home and through the back door, lining his boots up where they went instead of just leaving them in a pile on the floor. He hung up his coat and sighed, finding the house pretty quiet. It was getting close to naptime, and maybe Lindsay had climbed into bed for a few winks herself. He didn't want to disturb her but he did need to make things better, so he went upstairs. The boys weren't in their room and Avery wasn't in her crib, so they must have all crashed out together. About halfway up the stairs he heard music and by the time he reached their door, he could tell what it was.

You're a falling star, You're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

Lindsay and the kids were sitting on the bed with books spread all around them. Avery was half asleep, Ben had his thumb in his mouth and Colton was running his finger along the page as Lindsay read. Her voice was soft and he could hear it over the music and for a moment he just watched her, the way her mouth moved, how she managed to sneak kisses to all the kids between pages, how the boys looked at her as if she was the most wonderful person in the world.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,

And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

He leaned against the doorjamb, hoping they wouldn't notice them for a bit so he could just watch them. The four most precious people in the world and they were his. Even when he was upset, even when he made mistakes, even when he didn't deserve them at all, they were his. And right now, he was feeling very, very undeserving.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.

They'd been through too much together for this argument and this situation to bring them down. Issues with his father, battles with her depression and everything else that they'd had to work through together, and they'd done it. Nothing had pulled them apart permanently, it had actually brought them closer. Of course he didn't wish for more trials, he prayed for at least a season of steady calm, but he was grateful for the ones they'd had.

She looked up and met his eyes, giving him a half smile and a wink before finishing the book. He crossed the room and knelt down by the bed, taking a deep breath and knowing he needed to talk to the boys, because Lindsay wasn't the only one he'd hurt with his anger lately.

"Hi daddy. Did you get some fresh air?"

"Yeah, I did."

Ben crawled over and hugged his neck, holding on tightly, as if he knew that's what Adam needed right now.

"I need to apologize to you guys," he started, his voice serious. "I've been a real grouch lately and I'm very sorry for that. You didn't do anything wrong and I shouldn't be snapping at you because I'm in a bad mood."

Ben just hugged him tighter and Colton patted his hand.

"That's okay daddy. We still love you. Mama 'splained it to me real good."

"Oh she did?"

"Yup. She said it was just another of them grown up things."

"Yeah, it is. I just want you to know that no matter how many grown up things there are and how many times I mess up, I still love you. I hope you can forgive me."

"We forgive you, right Ben? We still love daddy lots and lots."

"Yep, lots," Ben confirmed with a solemn nod.

"Will you play with us now, daddy? For a little while?"

"I'll come play with you for a long while if you give me a few minutes to talk to mama."

"Deal! Let's go Ben!"

They scrambled out of the room and Adam turned to look at Lindsay. She held his gaze for a second, then looked away, knowing that they both had fires of anger burning still. He had a choice to make here, he could either wait for her to apologize for the fact that she didn't understand, or he could apologize for the week of bad attitude and very little love he'd put her through. The clock ticked twice before he reached over and touched her hand.

"Babe."

"I'm sorry, Adam."

"No, no I'm sorry. You're just trying to help me the best you know how and I… I just… I acted like a moron. I am really sorry honey. I just don't know what to do here."

"That's okay. You don't have to know what to do. You don't. It will get figured out. Either you'll figure it out or we will together, but either way, it's going to be fine. Just let me in, okay?"

"I will. I promise I will."

"Okay."

They looked at each other, knowing they both had so much more to say, but that they both needed some more time with their thoughts before they could say them. They needed to talk about the words they'd said, they needed to talk about how to fight fair, and she was certain they needed to better address Colton's fears about them splitting up. But it was on its way to resolution, so they could count one battle won.

He smiled and moved to sit down next to her, hugging her tightly and kissing the top of her head.

"I love you, Lindsay. More than anything."

"I love you too."

A/N: And with that… OFFICIALLY one year since I started this. Look how far they've come. So proud.