Eli opens his eyes, and sees a room covered in pictures. Each one is suspended from a piece of yarn from the ceiling, "What did you do?"
"Pictures from our relationship," Ty says.
Eli stands up, and looks at each of the pictures in turn. When he gets to the door, there is a question mark.
"You're not even going to ask the question?" Eli says.
"I don't know what the future would hold. So, I left it as a question. Flip it over for the question that you want."
Eli does, and smiles at the proposal cut from the newspaper so they are filled with words, one of his favorite things.
"You're not saying anything," Ty says nervously.
Eli looks at him, "I didn't know that I had to. I thought you knew the answer by now."
Ty tries to hide his disappointment, and fails, "No, because it's legal now, and we're out of college. You went to seminary, and I followed you. You just don't want to marry me, not really. You just don't ever intend on telling your parents that we are together, ever."
"I do," Eli says.
"I have asked you to marry me for years."
"Ok, then stop asking," Eli says, annoyed, "Do you think I like saying no anymore than you like hearing it?"
"So, you're never coming out to your parents? We're never going to be legal? We're never going to have kids?"
"I'm not even done with college!"
"I'm starting to figure out that 'not yet' is a code word for 'never'," Ty says sadly.
"No," Eli says.
"When?"
"Not yet."
"Ok," Ty says, walking out of the room.
"Ty?" Eli says, following after him.
"Just give me some time."
"But it's our anniversary," Eli mutters to himself.
-0-
It seemed like a good idea when she talked it over with Ty, it really did. It's their anniversary. He hadn't asked her to get married. She wanted to get married. So she should ask him.
Now, she was having second thoughts.
"Hey, breakfast in bed," she says, pushing open the bedroom door.
"Umm, what time is it?"
"Eight o'clock," she replies.
"It's Saturday. I still don't understand why people insist on getting up before noon on a Saturday."
Right, he hated breakfasts. What imaginary boyfriend was she proposing to?
Don't answer that. Nope.
Especially not with the name of the gay best friend you planned this proposal with.
If only her mind were actually listen to all those frightfully intelligent instructions that she was always giving it.
"Just come on, this is a special occasion, our anniversary. You can get up early with me once a year."
"Fine, as long as it is only once a year," he grumbles sitting up.
He uses his fork to cut off a big hunk of pancake, and shoves it into his mouth.
"Wait, didn't you read it?" Olivia asks frantic.
"Read my pancake?" he asks with his eyebrows raised.
"Blaze, just read what is left of it."
"Olivia, is this a proposal?" he infers from the "Will you marry…" left.
"Yeah," she says grinning at him.
"Are you aware that traditionally men propose to women?"
"Were you planning too?"
"We're in college, Liv," he says, falling back on his pillow.
"No, you're in college, because you're on your relaxed 'five year plan'. I graduated. I have a real job, working as a journalist. A job which pays our rent."
"Dude, calm down."
"We've been together for five years."
"It's before noon," he groans.
Olivia sighs, "Right, we'll decide our life in a couple of hours," she says, taking the plate with her.
"Leave the pancakes."
-0-
"He is such an ass," Ty says on the phone.
"No more than Eli is," Olivia agrees.
"Hey, Eli didn't eat the pancakes that I made for him," Ty says, defending his husband with no small amount of fury.
"That's only because you didn't make him any pancakes!" Olivia explains.
Ty bursts into laughter, "Are we really arguing about which one of our boys is a bigger jerk?"
"We were, yeah," Olivia says.
"They're not really jerks, though. They're just not choosing us."
"They're choosing us, they're just not choosing forever," Olivia corrects.
"It kind of feels the same… you know, sometimes," Ty mutters.
"Sometimes I worry about that whole 'why buy the cow' thing," Olivia admits.
"Sometimes I worry I'm never going to be a father. That I'm going to be his dirty little secret forever. I just wish he wasn't ashamed of me. At least you don't have that problem with Blaze."
"Oh, no, that isn't an issue. Blaze is quite willing to brag about the fact that he's sleeping with me to everyone he sees. You and Eli are talking about having kids? I didn't know that."
"Well, I've talked, he's never objected. I'm starting to think that he doesn't even really want them."
"Is that… a deal breaker for you?" Olivia asks softly.
"I honestly don't know," Ty says, and he tries desperately to think of something less idiotic to say.
"I don't know how you were planning on doing it when that day came but… if you need a female help to make your dreams happen, I'm here for you."
"Did you just offer to have my babies?" Ty asks.
"Yeah, I did," Olivia says seriously.
"That, my dear, is the best offer I've had all day.
"Ty," Eli says as he walks through the door.
"I've got to go, Liv," he says.
"Let me know how it turns out," she requests before they hang up.
Ty turns to Eli and finds himself praying that his partner isn't going to leave him. He isn't yet sure if he believes in heaven or hell or angels or God or anything else that they talked about in church. He does know that the practices and beliefs are seeping into his life by osmosis no matter what his mind is doing. It's real prayer, even if he isn't yet sure if it addressed to a real being.
"Hi," Eli says.
"Hi," Ty says.
"I'm going home for Thanksgiving. I'd like you to come with me."
"Is this the grandest gesture I get? An invite for the holidays?"
"That's what families do," Eli says with a joke on his lips.
"Are we family, Eli? Because last time I checked, I didn't exactly call your folks 'mom' and 'dad'."
"Hey, I don't call you parents that either."
"No, but they've asked you to. The fact that you haven't is just another big neon sign pointing toward the fact that you are not nearly as far into this relationship as I am."
"I'm in this relationship," Eli says, putting a hand on Ty's shoulder.
Ty pulls away from, "Eli, it would kill me if the two of us were to break up."
Eli smiles, thinking that he has won the argument, "It would kill me too, I guess it's a good thing that we aren't breaking up."
"Sometimes I think about how much it would hurt if we waited a couple of years to break up. It would hurt even more."
"Ty…" Eli begins, but he is too heart-broken to think of anything to put after it.
"Eli, today Olivia asked me if not having kids was a deal breaker for me. I hadn't really thought about it before. But yeah, it is. I know that you are not wild about the idea of having kids."
"We'll have kids if it's really important to you, Ty," Eli says.
"When? Eli, give me a year."
"How about this? You come with me to Thanksgiving, and you come out to my parents. We let them adjust to that news, and then I come out. When the steam as stopped coming out of their ears, we'll tell them we're engaged. After the wedding we'll start working on having kids."
"You're ok with this plan? I don't want to feel like I'm forcing you. I feel like I've been forcing you through ever step in our relationship. I don't mean to always be threatening to leave, that's not how I want it to come off but…"
"Not having my parents know about you… about the best part of my life, is really starting to wear on me to. I already came out to an entire church full of people, an entire college, and your family. How hard can it be?"
"I guess we'll find out when I go first," he teases.
"Hey, you are my little rat," Eli teases.
"Rat?" Ty asks. scrunching up his nose.
"Well, they use those in testing way more often than they use Guinea pigs."
"Please never call me your rat again," Ty begs.
"Ok, little mousy-wousy," Eli says with a grin.
"So these kids we'll have some day, were you thinking more along the lines of surrogacy or adoption, because today Olivia offered to help with whatever plan we had."
"She just sat there and offered to have your babies?" Eli asks.
Ty shrugs, "Well, they could be your babies, too? I don't know how many you were planning on having. Maybe we could each have a biological child."
"I'm still working on the fact that you want to make babies with your ex-girlfriend."
"We have been over this, Liv is not by ex-girlfriend," Ty says with a roll of his eyes.
"The two of you dated."
"We pretended to date."
"Whatever, I want to have a kid with you, Ty, not watch you have a kid with a woman."
"Adoption, then?"
"That might be the less… emotionally charged way for me," Eli says with a smile, "You know that it's still probably going to be a couple of years before we have kids. I am guessing that my parents are not going to have a very quick cool down from finding out that I'm gay."
"I know," Ty says, and the pair sit in silence for a couple of seconds, "Eli, what happens if they never come around? What happens if they just stay mad forever, and never accept us?"
A visible shudder goes through Eli.
"I'm so sorry! That was a horrible thing to say. Forget that I ever mentioned it!" Ty exclaims.
"No, it was a fair question. At some point the two of us would forget about them, and move on. But this some point is going to be a long time from now. We're going to be patient and give them a lot of time to work through things. They are going to need it."
"I love you Eli," Ty says with a giant smile.
"I know."
"I'm sorry, that isn't enough for me," Ty whispers.
"We're going to make it work," Eli says, giving Ty a reassuring smile that doesn't quite reach all the way to his eyes.