Sometimes, she falls and he doesn't.
"Now, in A Theory of Justice, Rawls posits that individuals know that they have the capacity to form, pursue, and revise a conception of the good, and that each individual understands him or herself to have the capacity to develop a sense of justice and a generally effective desire to abide by it. With the knowledge of these two features alone…"
Eleanor sighed softly and snuck another look at the large clock standing at the end of the street. That was another 20 minutes now, bringing Chidi's current ramble time to just under the two hour mark. If he kept going like this, he would definitely break his record….which no one but Eleanor knew about. Still, she would take whatever small joys she could get while she was stuck listening to the dude nerd out over "the most important political philosopher of the twentieth century".
That was why she had all but shoved him out the door of her house and towards a frozen yogurt shop as soon as she had seen his eyes gleaming behind his glasses. It was so much easier to focus on ethics when she had a cup of "finding your true bra size" to distract her.
She supposed, turning her gaze back to Chidi and trying to feign interest, that there were worse ways to spend a day in the afterlife. Would she rather be kicking back with a cheeseburger in paradise? Of forking course. But when she really stopped and made herself think about it, the company wasn't all that bad.
"To test these ideas, Rawls employed the thought experiment known as the 'original position'"….
Well, for the most part anyway. It seemed like Chidi was at least finally building up to his main point; his bright pink spoon flashed back and forth as he gestured excitedly, his own cup of "unexpected hotel room upgrade" forgotten and slowly melting on the table in front of him.
Eleanor had to bite back a smirk as the words "moral absolutism" hit her ears and Chidi's eyebrows jumped halfway up his forehead. It happened every time, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't find it a tiny bit endearing. Wait, she did?
Not that that meant anything, she told herself. Spend enough time with someone and you start getting used to even the most annoying things about them. Like his stupid dumb glasses. When they had first met six weeks ago, the fact that he insisted on still wearing those big, square dork goggles drove her crazy (and it still kind of did, to be honest). They were in the Good Place, for fork's sake, it's like natural Lasik!
But no, apparently they were "familiar" and "a comfort", even if he had to push them up the bridge of his nose every 5 minutes, which he did. He fiddled with the darn things so much, wanted to scream 'Ok, we get it, you're a real Clark Kent, fumbling with your glasses and rambling on about right and wrong while your button down strains over your surprisingly jacked arms until you have to rip it off and go save the –'
Oh shirtballs. She was not going to follow that particular train of thought again. With a slight jolt she realized that she had been staring at Chidi's left arm while her frozen yogurt dripped onto the back her hand. She snapped her eyes back to his face as she wiped her hand on her jeans and saw, to her relief, that he was still too caught up in his lecture to notice. Which reminded her….
"Therefore, Rawls' final conclusion in that work came to be that a well-ordered society would be designed to advance the good of its members and- Eleanor, what are you doing? And why have you kept looking at the clock the entire time I've been talking?"
She huffed softly, only a little put out at being caught. "I'm timing you, dude. Do you realize you've been droning on about John Rawls for…" she trailed off, giving the clock another glance, "two hours and 15 minutes. Hey, a new record!"
"Huh." He remarked, tilting his head and looking at her in a way that gave her no clue how he was feeling. "Do you often …. time my lectures?"
"Only when they're really boring or you're really excited about them" Eleanor muttered, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She was not going to feel guilty about this, but his lips were starting to drop into a frown and it was not helping and fork, neither was thinking about his lips. "So…yeah, most of the time"
His eyebrows knitted together in thought and for a second she was afraid he really was hurt, but then he suddenly relaxed and his mouth curved up into a smile. It must be a smile, she thought, because otherwise it would be a smirk and she wasn't even sure Chidi knew how to smirk. "Sorry about that," he began, his smile – smile, not a smirk – growing wider. "Sometimes I just get on a rawl and can't stop myself".
She froze for a second, mouth hanging open, before groaning and dropping her head down to rest in her hands. "Was that a pun? Did you just use a forking ethics pun on me!?"
She heard him laugh and lifted her head in surprise - how many times had she actually heard him laugh? – and wow, she might have to a few things because there was no way the look on his face wasn't a smirk. "Come on Eleanor," he continued, his voice light and…teasing? Oh no, she did not need to know he could tease. "Don't rawl your eyes at me, I'm trying to be serious here".
Eleanor really did roll her eyes at that, but she couldn't keep a small smile off her face. "This is the lamest conversation I think we've ever had. And you used the same pun twice, you nerd."
He laughed again, deep and warm, and she decided she liked the sound of it. "Oh, you know you love it" he grinned, and she found herself frozen again. She had said those same words to him the day before, after he had complained about her mockery of his latest in a series of increasingly ugly turtlenecks. But hearing those same words echoed back made her feel… weird. Like some sort of switch had flipped, and holy motherforking shirtballs, maybe she did.
Before she could even begin to think of how to respond, a bright call of "Chidi!" cut between them, and they both turned to find Angelique making her way to their table. "Hi darling," she cooed, leaning in to accept a kiss on the cheek from Chidi, "And Eleanor, always so wonderful to see you."
Eleanor smiled banally as she searched the woman's face for some sign of jealousy; of insincerity; anything to explain her sudden urge to shove her cup of driping frozen yogurt into Angelique's perfect face. She had only just managed to shove the bizarre impulse back down when she heard "Do you mind if I steal Chidi away for a bit? Patricia put aside a table for us at her new restaurant tonight".
Chidi beamed at her, then turned towards Eleanor. "Are you okay? We haven't really finished, I could -"
"No, no, you go on, you crazy soulmates!" her voice sounded high and unnatural in her own ears. Chidi shot her a quick grin, then turned and walked hand-in-hand down the street with Angelique. Eleanor sighed and slumped back in her chair.
Of course he should go with her; pretty, poised Angelique. She'd happily drone on about ethics and philosophers with him all night; she was his perfect soulmate after all. And Eleanor was….. at best she was his friend, and at worst she was just a problem he had gotten stuck with.
She sighed. She was happy for Chidi; she really was. He was a good person, and he deserved a good person for a soulmate, and they both knew that wasn't her. Not that she wanted to be his soulmate. She didn't.
God, she felt itchy.