"Well Ben, what do you think we should do today? Your choice."

Ben tapped his chin and looked up at the ceiling as he thought. Lindsay was at work, Colton was at school, and Avery was taking a nap. Ben couldn't remember a time when he'd had his daddy all to himself and the idea of it was pretty exciting.

"Daddy, we build a Vulcan?"

"A Vulcan? Like Spock? I've told you boys, this is a Star Wars house!"

"A Vulcan," he said again. "Lava."

"Oh a volcano! Yeah, let's see if we've got enough stuff to build a volcano. I think I've got some leftover chicken wire from fixing the fence. Sit tight, I'll go in the backyard and see."

Ben nodded and grabbed onto the chair holding onto it while Adam went into the backyard. It felt like hours that he was gone, but Ben stayed where he was, obedient to the end.

"Buddy, what are you doing?"

"I sitting tight, daddy," he replied his body tensed up.

"No, that just means stay where you're at. You can stop sitting tight now."

"Phew. That hard."

"Yeah, I can see how it would be. Look, I found chicken wire. I think there's some cardboard in the basement that we can use to make a volcano. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll find what we need."

Ben nodded and hopped off the chair, making his way into his bedroom. Finding a pair of jeans was easy enough, and he slid them on before searching the drawers for something else. The bedroom really was a mess and he knew they would be in trouble if mama or daddy walked in. Quickly he shoved all the mess under the beds, then found himself a t-shirt and a clip on tie, along with two socks, which didn't match, but got the job done. He put the "Geek In Training" t-shirt on, then clipped the tie to it before sliding his feet into the socks. He went into the bathroom to look himself up and down in the mirror, then tiptoed into Avery's room to check on her. She was sleeping quietly, and he reached his hand through the bars of the crib to stroke her hand. He liked watching her when she slept, it made him feel very grown up and responsible, like she was his to take care of, even just for a moment. He liked how soft her skin was and how round her cheeks were and he liked when she would sit in his lap for a few minutes, instead of squirming to get away. He liked how she smelled after her bath and how her laugh reminded him of mama. Most of all he liked that she was the little sister and he was a big brother and he could teach her everything he knew.

After a few minutes he went back downstairs, finding Adam in the kitchen, wrapping chicken wire around some cardboard.

"Looks like mountain," he observed, climbing up onto the stool.

"That's the idea. Why are you wearing a tie?"

"I finded it."

"Oh, I see. Can you go into the other room and get the newspaper off the coffee table?"

"Sure daddy."

He hopped off the stool and returned a few moments later, newspaper in hand and a smile on his face.

"What this for?"

"Well if we're going to do a volcano, we have to do it right. Once I make the volcano shape I'll attach it to this piece of wood. Then I'm going to fix the inside so that we can get a really good explosion. After that we'll cut strips of newspaper and glue them onto the outside with water and flour. I'll turn some fans on it and let it dry. After Colton gets home we'll paint it and then after dinner we can explode it."

"It take long time."

"Yeah it does, but it will be worth it. You'll see. We'll have to take it outside because it's going to be pretty messy."

"Mama will see?"

"She might still be at work by the time it's ready, but we can try to wait for her."

"Okay."

They worked quietly for a while, Adam using an old two liter soda bottle as a reservoir for the eruption material. Ben didn't say much, just sat and watched, marveling at how fast the volcano took shape. Before he knew it, they were making glue out of water and flour and were covering the volcano in strips of wet newspaper. He didn't like getting messy, but this was fun so he didn't mind being a little uncomfortable.

"Hey daddy?"

"Yeah Ben Ry?"

"You do this with Cole?"

"Nah, Colton and I never made a volcano. We made pirates booty once though."

"How you done that?"

"I can't tell you. It's a pirate secret. Arrr!"

Ben giggled and shook his head.

"Daddy you a freak a' nature."

"Where did you hear that?"

"Mama."

"Figures. Do you want to do a second coat of newspaper?"

"Yeah. How the volcano 'splode?"

"We're going to use vinegar and baking soda and dish soap."

"No. The real volcano."

"Oh. Well… that's quite an involved process. It's like the earth is burping."

"Sissy burps loud. She a volcano, huh daddy?"

"I guess in that context, yeah. Are you going to be a scientist when you grow up? Like daddy?"

"Nah. I jus' like 'splosions."

"So what do you want to do when you grow up?"

He gave a half shrug.

"I jus' make peoples happy. Cole make peoples better. Dunner gonna be a superhero. Sarah like to dance. Isa… she be a big boss lady. She tell people no."

"So you think maybe she'll work for an HMO? Or be the president?"

"Yup, Isa be president."

Adam chuckled and shook his head.

"Probably not far off buddy."

"Sissy's cryin'," he commented, just before Avery's fussing came over the baby monitor.

"How did you know?"

He shrugged and Adam rinsed his hands off in the sink.

"I'll go get her. Can you work on this by yourself for a few minutes?"

"Yep."

He nodded convincingly and Adam went upstairs, finding Avery just on the verge of red faced and screaming. He picked her up and ran his finger down her nose, smiling when she scrunched it up.

"Hey Tink. Are you supposed to be awake now?"

She sniffled and stretched and he kissed her cheeks before taking her downstairs.

"Hi sissy," Ben greeted, giving her a little wave.

"Does mama give her a bottle in the morning?"

"Nah, she jus' wanna be holded now."

"Oh, okay. Wow, you covered that volcano pretty good."

"Done my best. Time for Cole?"

"We've got a little while before we leave. Want to play chess?"

"Yeah. I wash my hands. I the white team."

Adam chuckled and went into the other room, taking the game out of the cupboard it was stored in. Colton had started playing chess when he was about Ben's age, but he didn't really like it. Ben was just starting to learn all the rules and had already legitimately beat Colton once. He was no Bobby Fischer, but he could hold his own. His mind operated that way, even if it did take him a minute or two before deciding on a move.

They sat down on the floor around the coffee table and Avery fussed until Adam found her a pacifier. Ben set up the game board carefully, making sure all the pieces were exactly in the middle of the squares. Occasionally Adam would worry about these little perfections Ben seemed to need. He didn't like his food to touch and he would only eat one thing at a time. He had to have his blue blanket on his bed before he could go to sleep, even if it was too hot for an extra blanket. He got irritated when there were smudges on his glasses, and he didn't like more than one ice-cube in his drink at dinner time. He liked the same schedule every day, especially at night, and if he wasn't warned before it was changed he couldn't fall asleep. He never melted down when these things went wrong, he would simply fix them or ask someone else to help him. Adam wondered if it was OCD or if Ben was just a peculiar, particular child.

"Okay daddy. We play."

They moved their pieces quietly for a while, concentrating on the game and not really thinking about anything else.

"Hey, what's that?"

"Check, daddy!" Ben giggled, pushing his glasses up and crossing his arms. "What gonna do when a'come for you?"

"You think I'm a bad boy?"

"What gonna do, daddy?"

"I don't know buddy, you worked me into a tight place here."

Ben sat patiently while Adam figured out his next move, sacrificing a rook, albeit reluctantly. Ben grinned with pride and made his next move, one that Adam was almost certain he'd been planning for the last few rounds.

"Bud, you're getting really good at this. Better than me even."

"Like chess," he said with a shrug. "Fun."

"You just like to beat daddy at something."

"Yep! Checkmate daddy! I wonned!"

"Holy cow."

Ben leaned back against the couch and grinned. It had been a short game, and either Adam was just not into it, or Ben was a lot better at chess than he'd previously let on.

"I wonned. You clean up. I hold sissy."

"Alright. Climb up on the couch and you can hold her."

Ben obeyed, sitting in the corner of the couch and holding his arms out for his sister. She settled into him with a quiet babble and he kissed her round cheek.

"Love sissy. Orange hair."

Adam snickered as he cleaned up the game and watched the kids. The bond between siblings always amazed him. He'd never experienced it from such a young age, and as much as he loved Hannah, he knew they didn't have the same bond that Colton, Ben and Avery had. The boys were so protective of their sister and loved her so much and he knew the three of them would grow to be the best of friends.

"Alright, lets go get your brother."

"You gonna sling sissy?" he asked, pointing to the fabric sling they used to carry the baby when they went on walks.

"Yeah. Go get yourself a jacket."

He nodded and found his jean jacket while Adam bundled Avery up and got her settled against him in the sling. Ben held his hand as they left the house, walking the few blocks to the school.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah bud?"

"I get big, go school?"

"Yeah, when you get big you'll go to school too. You and Junior will go at the same time. Is that a good idea?"

"Yup. Dunner my bes' friend."

"I know."

"Sissy go school me too?"

"Nah, Avery's got to wait a long time before she gets to go to school. You'll be in third grade and Colton will be in sixth grade when she goes."

"Yeah?"

"I think so. Want to wait for Colton out here or go inside?"

"Inside! We take Isa home?"

"No, not today. Danny's probably already in there waiting for her."

They climbed the steps and went inside, sitting down on the bench outside the classroom. There were paintings and other art projects on the wall and Ben inspected them closely, wishing that he could make art projects someday very soon. He was halfway down the hall when the bell rang, and he dashed back to Adam, not wanting to get trampled by the big kids like he had once before.

A line of kindergarteners filed out of the classroom, headed for the playground where most parents did pick up. Adam didn't really like that part, it would be too easy for someone to just snatch up a kid. That's why he always waited inside.

"Hi daddy!" Colton greeted, struggling to get his backpack on. "Isa comin' home with us?"

"Not today, I think Danny's just running a little late."

"I bet daddy tripped and falled down!" Isa giggled. "That's why he's late."

"You are so strange, Princess," Adam chuckled, pulling her in for a hug. She accepted it then patted Avery's head.

"Did you guys have fun at school today?"

"Yep!" they chorused with vigorous nods.

"Know what? We get to do show and tell tomorrow! I don't know what to bring. Isa's gonna bring somethin' cooler than I will."

"I know! Cole, you bring our 'cano!"

"What?"

"Gots lava!"

"You maked a volcano?" Colton deduced excitedly.

"Uh-huh. We 'splode it nighttime."

"Awesome!"

Isa crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're cooler than me, Colt, you bring a volcano and I just bring a dumb old guitar!"

"Hey now wait a minute," Adam started, drawing Isa closer. "You're learning to play that guitar, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"And someday you'll be a really awesome guitarist. You'll be like Joan Jett."

"And the Blackhearts?" she breathed.

"Yeah, the very same ones."

She smiled and nodded.

"Colt, you want my autograph when I'm famous?"

"'Course. You can be the singer and I will be your roadie."

They were about to do a spit shake when Danny walked in, out of breath.

"Hi daddy!" Isa exclaimed. "I'm gonna be Joan Jett and the Blackhearts and Colt's gonna be my roadie!"

"Colton, you sure you wanna deal with that, buddy?"

"I gotta deal with it. I love her."

"Wide-eyed innocence," Danny muttered. "Sorry I was late pickin' you up baby."

"That's okay daddy. Uncle Dum was here."

"Ready to go?"

"Yep, let's have lunch!"

He took her hand and they led the group out of the building. Ben walked slowly, holding onto Adam and Colton's hands, feeling very important for having made a volcano. Every day it seemed he felt more and more like a big boy. Now if he could only stop the scary dreams that made him need mama in the middle of the night, he would really be a big boy.

They said goodbye to Isa and Danny and made their way home.

"What do you boys want for lunch?"

"Grilled cheese and 'mato soup," Colton answered as if he had been thinking about it all day long. "C'mon Ben, let's go play with Qwerty."

It was very late when Lindsay got home that night, so late in fact that she was thinking the lights wouldn't even be on. She was sure that the kids would be in bed and even Adam would have turned in by now. She hated how her shifts always ended up running hours over when they were supposed to. She felt like those two days a week she didn't even get to see the kids. Yawning, she opened the front door, finding the TV on and boys not in bed. They were asleep, sprawled on the floor in their boxers and t-shirts, Colton's hand in a bag of Cheetos. Adam was on the couch, dressed the same as the boys with Avery on his chest, sleeping as well. Lindsay stood there for a second, taking in the cutest Fruit of the Loom commercial she had ever seen. She took off her shoes and left them by the door, then leaned down to pick Colton up. He sighed and wrapped his arms around her neck while she carried him upstairs.

"Hi mama."

"Hi baby."

"I miss you mama. I don't like when you work when it's dark outside."

"I know sweetie. I don't like it either," she sighed, pulling the covers back on his bed and tucking him in.

"I love you mama."

"I love you too Colton. We'll have breakfast together in the morning, okay?"

"Okay. Give me kisses now."

She smiled and kissed him a few times before tucking his shaggy hair behind his ear.

"Sleep good honey."

She waited until he had fallen back into deep sleep, then went back downstairs to get Ben. He whimpered when she picked him up, pushing away from her because in his sleepy state he didn't know what was happening.

"Daddy?"

"Shh, it's mama, you're okay."

"Oh mama," he sighed, clinging to her tightly. "Love mama."

"I love you too honey," she said, climbing the stairs again.

"Sleep in my bed?" he asked as she entered their bedroom.

"No sweetie, I'm just tucking you in."

"Miss you mama."

"I know baby. I miss you too. I'll come and snuggle you awake in the morning okay?"

"Like mornin' snuggles."

"Me too. Sleep good Ben. I love you."

"Kissies."

She smiled and kissed him before making another trip downstairs. Avery was awake now blinking against the light of the TV and trying to raise her head. Lindsay crouched down to her level and Avery squealed happily, kicking her legs.

"I'm happy to see you too goober. Are you getting hungry?"

Carefully she tried to lift Avery up, grinning when Adam tightened his arms around her.

"It's just me honey, go back to sleep."

He let the baby go and Lindsay lifted her up, snuggling her close and breathing deeply. This was the longest they had ever been apart and while she had missed the boys, it was much harder to be away from her baby girl.

They made their way upstairs and Lindsay sat down in the rocking chair in Avery's now rosebud wallpapered bedroom. They'd added white wainscoting to the bottom half of the walls and the wallpaper to the top. A hope chest full of quilts stood under the window and the rocking chair next to that. It was a cozy room, odd shaped but full of white furniture and blankets. It reminded Lindsay of her old childhood room, with all the homey colors and textures. It was one of her favorite rooms in the house, but that changed depending on which room she happened to be when she thought about it.

She rocked the chair slowly while Avery nursed, obviously having missed her mama and not enjoyed having to use a bottle all day. None of the kids had been fans of the bottle which had been frustrating for Adam but always delighted Lindsay just a little. They preferred their mama, and that made her heart swell.

"I missed you a lot today, Averylin. I wondered if you were okay and if you missed me too. I can see that you did. That makes me feel good, even if it might have made you a little sad. I guess that's a mama thing."

Avery stopped eating for just a moment, breathing deep and smiling at Lindsay in the moonlight. They locked eyes from a moment and Lindsay smiled, feeling an old song in her chest. It was one her mom had sang to her so many years ago. It was actually one of the only memories she had of her mom before she left, and the sound of it had always brought her a gentle peace. There had been many hymns sung to her as a child and she still loved them to this day, despite not remembering every verse in her head. Her dad had been a big Burl Ives fan and often was caught singing "Ghost Riders in the Sky," while her mom had been more partial to Johnny and June. But for lullabies or just "mama sing to me" songs, she'd picked something a little different.

"So dear to my heart, that Septembery day. When that old shady lane we strolled, was just turning scarlet and gold. So dear to my heart."

Avery sighed and slowed her eating down, a sure sign of being tired.

"So dear to my heart, that Decembry day. When that first touch of frost and snow, had painted every tree in the road. So dear to my heart. I can still picture the flowers in a shower, and that picnic in July, and I still treasure each and every hour of those years that had to fly. They're locked in my heart, in a corner apart, while I tenderly hold the key. As long as I live they will be so dear to my heart."

She hummed the song through once more as Avery fell asleep, then sat there and held her in the darkness for a while. She definitely hadn't gotten her fill of any of the kids today, but it was getting late and she needed to get some sleep herself. Standing up, she settled Avery into the crib and made sure nothing would fall on her in the night.

"Sleep sweet lovey girl. See you in a few hours."

She made her way back downstairs for the last time, feeling much like a mother hen gathering her chicks. Adam was still asleep on the couch and she smiled, watching him for a few minutes before leaning down to kiss him awake.

"Hey," he whispered, as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Hi. You coming to bed?"

"You don't want to stay down here with me?"

"With you, yes. Down here, no."

He pulled her down against him anyway, kissing her lazily.

"You've got plans for me then?"

"I don't know. Those eyes of yours are at half mast, we'd either have to be really quick or put it off for a few days. And you know how I don't like being quick."

He laughed and opened his eyes a little more.

"You think I'm not up to the challenge?"

"I'm a challenge?"

"This conversation is going to a very strange place."

She grinned and rested against his chest, sighing deeply.

"I missed you today," she whispered, feeling her muscles bunch and release at her sudden lack of movement.

"We missed you too."

"How'd the volcano go?"

"Ben cried for an hour because he wanted you to see it. I finally calmed him down and we set it off just as it was getting dark. I'm thinking of rigging some kind of light in there so it looks like the entire volcano is about to blow."

"You're twelve."

"Maybe but I keep the boys entertained."

"Very true. Everything else go okay?"

"Yeah, it was fine. Normal day, just no mama here to chase us out of the kitchen."

"Is that all I do?"

"No, you do a lot more than that. I'm tired it was the first thing that came to mind. How was work?"

"Mmm."

"Really?"

"Yep."

He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Let's go to bed. I'll carry you."

"Adam, don't be ridiculous you can't carry me-"

Her protest was cut short as he scooped her up and began to carry her up the stairs. She tried to keep her giggles quiet and he tried to keep her head from banging against the wall.

"Honey, you're going to kill yourself," she said as he started up the second flight of stairs.

"Am not."

She rolled her eyes as he opened their door with his foot, then gently placed her on the bed. Tugging on his arm she pulled him down with her, smiling against the insistent kiss he pressed to her lips.

"We left the TV on," she remembered after a second.

"Am I supposed to care?" he countered stopping what he was doing for a second to look at her.

"No, not at all. Carry on."

He smiled and kissed her again, brushing her hair back from her face.

"Don't go back to work."

"Adam."

"Sorry. I just want us all to be together at the same time."

"So do I. We just can't do that right now. But there is something we can do, so get workin' there buddy."

He smiled and rubbed his nose softly against hers.

"I love you."

"I love you too."