Disclaimer: I do not own GW – seriously? I mean if I owned it, it would have been WAY different (obviously) and well – I'd be richer. :D

Thanks to my reviewers, Inuyashalover45 and Dioramanya – your consistent and lovely reviews really keep me writing. I won't lie – I crave that and it helps me write! Thanks!

CHAPTER 19

Quatre hummed to his daughter as he fixed his and her respective lunch, one noticeably more solid than the other. She laughed in her high chair. It was a good day. The sun was shining brightly outside, Trowa was home all day and Duo. . .

Well, Duo had been better, a little more alive. Quatre was worried about how much he was sleeping, but when he asked Dr. Croats he said it was to be expected and that after losing Heero, it might be a coping mechanism.

After Trowa had found Duo crying and laughing early one morning, Duo seemed to open up. Maybe he had just needed a chance to mourn openly and be comforted. Now Quatre's fear had moved from Duo's despair to fear over Duo's pregnancy. Duo was, to put it bluntly, huge. He was much larger at 33 weeks than Quatre was before he had Gemma and what little he could remember of how large Duo had been when he gave birth to Camille didn't even come close. He was just waiting for the day when Duo would go into labor. He was not looking forward to it. Quatre remembered how much it had hurt for him, two children would undoubtedly be twice as hard. The doctor said Duo's body was handling it better than many women and he didn't seem to be having any noticeable problems. Maybe all the sleep was good for him.

However, the fear was never far from his mind, so when he heard his name being yelled from the second floor, he quickly came to the most probable conclusion and was screaming for Trowa as he grabbed his daughter and rushed upstairs.

Duo was outside his door, breathing heavily. Both arms were wrapped around his stomach and he was breathing slowly in through his mouth and out through his nose. Quatre put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's get you to a hospital." He suggested gently.

Startled, Duo looked at Quatre. "What? No. . ." He straightened himself, "Look in my room, what do you see?" Puzzled and no less worried, Quatre looked in. He immediately saw what had disturbed Duo. He stepped back into the hall and looked Duo with wide eyes.

"Am I going crazy, Quat?"

Quatre shook his head, realized his jaw was wide open and closed it. "No, Duo – I see him too." Sitting up on the bed gingerly was Heero. His hair was matted and greasy, his eyes had dark circles under them and it was clear that he had lost a lot of weight. But he was alive.

Duo came around the corner. "Heero?" The sound of running footsteps came down the hall. Quatre couldn't turn from the scene unfolding before him, but he heard Trowa curse in astonishment. Duo walked slowly towards Heero. Heero for his part had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. Duo stopped a foot from the bed. He began rubbing his stomach with one hand and put the other one on his back.

"The whole time?" Duo asked. Quatre had no idea what he was referring to. "Has it been you the whole time?"

Trowa put a hand on Quatre's shoulder. Quatre put one hand over his lover's. Relieved couldn't even begin to describe how he was feeling right now and he knew that Trowa felt the same. Joy might be a better word. Although right now, amused would also be accurate. Honestly, Quatre felt that Duo and Heero should have leaped into each others arms, swung around the room and begun whispering sweet nothings into each others ears.

Heero shrugged. "I couldn't say anything."

"Are you kidding me?" Duo stumbled back. Quatre felt Trowa pull away and watched him help Duo to a seat. Duo's face was pale.

Deciding that their impending sweet nothings would have to wait, Quatre hurried into the room. "How is this even possible?" Quatre hugged Heero as closely as he could with his daughter in his arms.

Heero shrugged, "It's a long story." His eyes never left Duo's face.

"I should hope so!" Duo exclaimed, and Quatre was surprised at how hurt Duo was sounding. Hurt and angry. Quatre and Trowa exchanged glances. Quatre could sympathize, if he had thought Trowa was dead for a month and then he just returned, he might be a tad bit upset. The grief from losing a loved one is overwhelming. No one would be happy to have gone through that. In Quatre's case, the anger would definitely take the backseat to the 'thank-Allah-he-is-alive' feeling.

"Duo." Heero said simply, "There were reasons I couldn't tell you."

"I just bet," Duo glared at Heero, "I need to check on Camille." Duo stalked out of the room angrily, he heard Trowa call that she was napping but chose to ignore it. Heero could have easily caught up to him – he wasn't walking very fast right now – but Heero never called his name or grabbed his shoulder to stop him.

When he entered his daughter's room, she was sitting in her bed, playing with toys. She squealed when he entered and he smiled. She reached her arms out for him to pick up, but he hadn't been able to hold her very well the last few weeks. Instead, he lifted her from her bed and set her on the floor, taking a seat in the rocking chair in the room. She took this as a cue to bring all her toys to her daddy and proceeded to run around the room picking up toys as she went, depositing them on the floor by Duo.

Duo closed his eyes and rocked back and forth as his daughter entertained herself. Heero was alive. He felt as if a great weight had been lifted, but at the same time he felt irrationally angry. He hadn't felt angry for a long time and Duo realized it was probably his grief that prevented him from feeling that way. The braided man couldn't deal with all the emotions that were racing through him, but now anger seemed the easiest, it was shallow and didn't take any work. How could Heero have let him believe he was dead for so long?

A giggle of delight alerted him to a change in the room. He opened his eyes again and watched Camille wrap her arms around one of Heero's legs. Heero smiled faintly and got on his knees, wrapping arms around Camille as he did. He laid his cheek on her head and seemed to rest there for a moment. But Camille was still a 14 month old little girl. She was willing to sit still for about 30 seconds before she was ready to play again. She squirmed out of Heero's arms, went and grabbed a toy and returned it to Heero. He took it, and satisfied with a job well done, Camille went in search of another toy.

Duo couldn't help but smile. It was a sweet sight. Heero turned to Duo, and Duo saw fatigue in Heero's eyes, he saw the lines on his face showing that whatever he had been doing it hadn't been easy and he gave in.

It took some effort, but Duo got out of the chair and moved to stand behind Heero. He couldn't kneel down and sit by Heero, but he put his hands on Heero's shoulder. Duo hadn't been as concerned with how bony Heero had felt when he thought he was a dream, but he realized that Heero had lost a lot of weight. When Heero put his hand over Duo's, he noticed that his hands still felt cold and that worried the pregnant man.

The injury in the video had looked fatal. How hurt was his dark haired husband? Fear sent a shiver down his spine. Duo put both hands on Heero's.

"Heero, let's get you to a doctor."

Heero hand tightened over Duo's, "No, I can't." His voice was weak, but convicted. "I have to stay dead." Heero's hands dropped down. "I shouldn't really be here now, it could put you in danger."

"How Heero? If everyone thinks you are dead..."

He shook his head, "If they ever go and check for my body. . ."

Duo shook his head. He pulled his hands away from Heero and began rubbing his stomach in soothing, circular motions. He wanted to help Heero, but he felt helpless. He wanted to wrap his arms around Heero but he couldn't. Duo settled for Heero's elbow and tugged upwards.

"We need to talk, please?" Heero stood, reaching a hand down to Camille and they all walked to a sitting room. Duo sat on a couch, and was a little hurt when Heero sat on a chair, across from him. Camille watched them for a moment and then proceeded to hunt for things to take apart in this room. She was creative and was soon creating a pile of magazines, coasters and pillows.

Duo stole one pillow from Camille's mountain when she wasn't looking and stuck it behind his back, "What happened, Heero?"

Heero closed his eyes, as if gathering the strength to tell the story. "I was . . . gathering information for Relena about all the terrorist activity that had been happening. I wanted to stop it from happening or expose the participants to decrease their power. If we could do that, this war would dissipate.

"I got a little reckless and thought I had found where they were acting from so I decided to try to infiltrate it on my own and gather enough evidence to prove it was them. When I entered the building it was set up as a warehouse. There were boxes everywhere, a small office – which was empty. . .

"Anyway, I opened a box, it was full of modified weapons. I knew I'd found them. I was ready to leave, but I wanted to take a look around the office. That's when they found me, I had just entered the office from one door, they entered from another.

"It didn't take them long to decide what to do with me, they set up the video and well-" Heero stopped, Duo had his eyes closed and was cringing as he recalled those images. "Well, you know what happened."

"I don't really remember much for awhile after that. What I do know is that you saved my life."

Duo's eyes opened again, incredulous looking. "How can you say that? I gave up on you! You were alive and I just assumed you were dead –"

"No, Duo. Don't think like that. I would never have been able to live with myself if you had come and tried to do something that got you or the twins hurt. Besides, you did more than you know.

"The man who saved me, who, instead of dumping my body, brought me to his sister who was a doctor and helped keep me alive – he was the man that you made me save at the bar that night. The one who was shot by his associate. Being shot at didn't sit well with him, and he got back at them by saving me, I suppose.

"After a couple weeks, I was well enough to move around, slowly I learned what had happened. It took me another week to get back into the country. I was dead man and I looked like one too, so it was difficult to move around normally. When I finally made it back. . . I watched here for awhile to make sure that no one was watching the house. Then, one night I couldn't wait any longer. I was still weak, but I wasn't ready to be alive again – I wasn't sure it was safe. So I came into the room and watched you.

"It was difficult and the first night I didn't say anything, but the second night I couldn't help myself." Heero shuddered, "I wanted to be with you, but I was careful. I wasn't sure if you thought I was real or a dream, but it didn't matter to me." Heero smiled thinly, "And then finally last night, you asked me to stay and I couldn't say no any longer. I tried all night to rationalize all the reasons it would be better if I left, but this time, instead of leaving when you fell asleep, I fell asleep too."

Duo sat still for a long time, taking in what Heero had told him. He didn't know how he felt about it. Heero was back and that was good, but it seemed to Duo that if he really believed it and it turned out it was just a dream, he would never be able to recover from that. Besides, the euphoria that threatened to take over would surely be too much. The phrase 'hurts so good' would be an apt expression. He felt so happy that it was painful.

The braided man decided there was nothing to be said and instead took his husband by the arm and led him toward their room once more, their daughter trailing along reluctantly. They passed Quatre in the hallway, who offered to play with Camille for a little while. Duo thanked him and brought Heero to the bathroom. There he took off Heero's clothes and without a word, indicated that Heero needed to get in the bath. As the warm water filled the tub, Duo took inventory of Heero's body, while he bathed him like he bathed their daughter.

He looked even worse without his clothes on, despite their tears and bloodstains. His ribs were visible, under a thin layer of dirt, it was clear that he was very pale. As the warm water enveloped Heero, he closed his eyes. Duo was grateful Heero didn't see the face he made when he finally had the courage to look at his chest. The wound was ugly. It was not the shiny skin that indicated a scar was forming, nor was it the bright red of a fresh scab. It was much smaller than Duo expected. In his head the wound was a gaping fist sized hole, in reality it was a tiny wound, with crude scars where he had clearly been stitched up at some point. Duo tried to keep himself from shaking, but he couldn't seem to help himself. How did anyone survive that sort of wound? Heero must be half god or robot or something.

Duo pulled his hands away from Heero, not wanting him to notice how upset he was. It was the twin's fault he couldn't control himself, they were making him girly and emotional. Duo breathed in slowly, trying to calm himself down.

"Duo?" Heero had opened his eyes and was watching the pregnant man with concern in his eyes. Duo looked at Heero, opened his mouth to speak and thought better of it. Reaching out, Duo pulled Heero closer and took possession of his lips.

It may not have been the best kiss ever or the most beautiful kiss or artistically done, but it was the hungriest kiss Duo had ever started. Heero didn't hold back, he had been craving Duo just as much as Duo had been him. It lasted a long time, when Heero finally pulled back, Duo grabbed hold of side of the tub to keep himself from collapsing to the floor.

And then Duo laughed. There was no way a kiss like that wasn't real and he knew now for certain that Heero was alive and he didn't know how to deal with his feelings and began to come out as laughter. Duo's laughs shook his whole body, causing him to slide to the flood next to the tub. After a minute, Heero pulled himself out of his bath and looked at Duo, concern lining his face.

Just as Heero was about to get out of the tub, Duo's laughter started to lessen. He looked at Heero with bright eyes. "I'm going to get you some food." He announced and he slowly raised himself up from the bathroom floor. With a resolute waddle he left the room. Heero blinked once or twice, decided that Duo was probably alright if he was worried about food and closed his eyes again.

Tsutsuku

XxXxX

I seriously couldn't decide if Heero was going to be dead or not. I went back and forth, but in the end decided since I can't control real world tragedies I would control a real world one (however small and insignificant)

Review and I will update, have a good week!

~Annie