Chapter Five: Monsters in My Head

Lyra met with Victoria as promised at the same place they had been at the night before. She was dressed comfortably in rolled up jeans and a loose fitting burgundy v-neck shirt that brought out the golden color of her skin, and the purple in her eyes. She carried an old, worn down brown leather jacket in one hand.

The Omega stiffened slightly when she saw Lyra, her expression etched with uncertainty.

Lyra, sensing the Omega's hesitation, smiled reassuringly. "Hi."

"Hi," Victoria said softly.

Lyra handed her the jacket. "I figured you might be cold," she explained.

Victoria blinked with surprise. "Oh... no, I can't. "

"I insist," Lyra said, thrusting the jacket into the other woman's hands.

Victoria lowered her gaze, running her fingers over the worn down leather. "Thank you."

Again, Lyra smiled. "Come on. Let's take a walk."

Victoria nodded, and to Lyra's pleasure, slipped on the jacket.

Ooo0ooO

Derek strolled downstairs, running a towel through his damp hair. He knew Lyra had already left to met with Victoria. He had asked her if she wanted him to go, but she had declined, saying it would be best if she had some time alone with the other woman.

He decided that after Lyra's actions last night, he didn't have to worry about the Omega being driven away by the stronger Alpha. He trusted that Lyra would make the right choice.

Derek sighed.

Ever since Deucalion's death, he had noticed a regression in Lyra's moods, which left her irritable and often depressed, much like how she has been when they had first met. Back then she had carried the guilt of killing so many wolves and a great amount of fear of what she was capable of with her wolf being so powerful. He knew she had worked through that fear, since accepting her true nature had allowed her to become one with her wolf, and for her to transform into one when the moon was full.

But he still had his doubts that she had also worked through that guilt. He worried she still viewed herself as a murderer, as a coward, as a kind of monster when she lost control. He wished she would express this to him, that she would open up a bit more, but things kept getting in the way. Trouble always seemed to be lurking around the corner... and he feared that if Lyra didn't forgive herself for what she had done in the past, she might also accept the idea that she was a monster,and change for the worse. But he'd be damned if he'd allow that to happen, not without a fight.

Ooo0ooO

Lyra lead Victoria to the peak, all while talking to the other werewolf about Beacon Hills, how she came here and why she had stayed. She told her about the Alpha Pack and her past with them, how she had dedicated years of her life towards hunting them down, how it took even longer to change into the person and wolf she was now.

"And your sister, she's alive?" Victoria asked incredulously, eyes wide.

Lyra exhaled, shaking her head. "I still don't know how, but Abby also wasn't the first person I know that camecame back from the dead. Derek's uncle, Peter, dead and came back."

"Where is he now?"

Lyra's expression grew flat. "I wish I knew," she said with the barest hint of a growl. "The coward probably skunk away somewhere to hide. He'll be back. He always comes back."

Victoria looked apprehensive now. "And then what?" Her eyes gave away the question she didn't ask. What will you do?

Lyra met the other woman's gaze steadily. "Honestly? I don't know. But I don't think it'll be pretty."

Victoria blinked again, before looking out towards the horizon. "Wow. It's beautiful here. "

Lyra's lips curved. "Derek and I got married right here. It's kind of our spot."

Victoria gave her a shy smile. "That must be nice. Being with someone who's stayed with you, even with everything you have both been through."

Lyra nodded. "It is. He's my anchor when I can't be my own," she confessed.

Ooo0ooO

Derek waited patiently for Lyra to return at the Hale house. He spent some time reading, chuckling when he found Lyra's torn copy of The Crucible. He wondered if she had ever finished reading it.

He also went for a run, taking the back trails through the reserve. He didn't run too far, looping back once he reached about two miles out and backtracked. He was still tired from the full moon, which always left him a little drained the next day, especially with him being a Beta once more.

A few hours later, Lyra returned to the house, looking calm. She smiled slightly when she saw him waiting for her in the living room.

Walking over, she sat down on his lap with a sigh, wrapping her arms around his shoulders while his went around her waist.

"How did it go?" he asked.

Lyra fiddled with the obsidian necklace she had given him a while back. "I like her," she stated.

"Is she going to be a part of our pack?" he wanted to know.

Lyra sighed. "I think so," she said cautiously. "I offered for her to stay at the cottage since it's still under my name. I figured she needed it."

"It's good to have a place to call home," Derek said with an understanding nod.

Lyra's lips curved. "My thoughts exactly." She leaned down, brushing her lips over his.

"Should we let the others know?"

She sighed again, but this time is was tired sounding. "How about after a nap?"

Derek chuckled. "Sure."

Then he stood up quickly, pulling Lyra into his arms bridal style, making her laugh.

"Aren't you supposed to carry me over the threshold, Mr. Hale?" she asked teasingly.

"We aren't ones for tradition, are we, Mrs. Hale?" he retorted.

Lyra grinned, putting her around around him once more. "No, we most certainly aren't."

Ooo0ooO

Derek rested next to Lyra, watching her as she slept. As tired as he felt, he found himself enjoying watching her sleep silently.

She was stretched out under the dark covers, nestled on her stomach with her arms around a pillow. Her lashes fluttered as she breathed deeply and evenly.

Suddenly, she let out a soft whimper and her brows furrowed.

Derek reached over, going to brush the hair from her eyes and to soothe her, but as soon as he touched her he found himself pinned to the mattress by two very strong hands.

Lyra leaned over him, her eyes wide open and blazing ruby red. Her lips peeled back to reveal her massive fangs, and he could feel the bite of her claws on his wrists.

"Lyra," he called out, trying to keep his voice calm. "Wake up."

Lyra gave a guttural snarl, which reverberated through his bones. Her teeth snapped together. Then, just as quickly, her eyes fluttered once more and she fell over, slipping back into a still sleep.

Derek didn't move, his heart hammering in his chest.

This had never happened before. Lyra wasn't one who was proned to sleepwalking, and certainly not something like that. It was as though her wolf had completely taken over while she was asleep, attacking the first person it came it contact with.

So when Lyra started thrashing on the bed, crying out wordlessly in her sleep, Derek only hesitated for a moment before grabbing one of her arms. He shouted her name, with more force, and this time when her eyes opened, they were wide but a distressed dark blue color.

"Derek?" she whispered. "I had a dream that I... did I attack you?"

Derek tried to school his expression, but Lyra knew him too well. She bit her lips and shivered. "What's happening to me?"

"I don't know," he admitted in a soft tone. "You're all right for now. Just take a deep breath."

When she did, Derek let her go so she could sit up. She drew her knees up against her chest, still trembling slightly.

"I've been having nightmares," she said after some time. "Graphic ones that feel so real, when I wake up, I think for a moment...: She shook her head. "I dream that I finally lose control. I kill... and I can't stop. It's like I'm not even me anymore, I'm just this thing with no heart, with no care. All I want is to move onto the next kill, and the one after that."

Lyra looked at Derek. "I'm scared," she whispered. "What is they come true? What if that's what I'm going to become?"

Derek pulled her against his chest, rubbing her back gently. "We won't let that happen. You know that we are all here for you, Lyra. We won't let anything bad happen."

"But what if it's me, Dec? What if I'm that bad thing that happens? Then what?"

Derek closed his eyes briefly before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "We will figure it out. We always do. But for now, you can't believe that you're going to turn like that. If you haven't yet, maybe you never will."

"But-,"

"You have to belive that you're not a monster, Lyra," Derek said, pulling away so he could look into her eyes. "You're not a monster. You're a wolf."

Lyra exhaled shaking. She pressed her forehead into the crook of his neck. She didn't say anything to that, she just remained in his arms until she stopped trembling.

She could only hope he was right, and that the nightmares were only that- just nightmares.

She swallowed back the doubt she felt building up inside her, focusing only on the sound of Derek's heartbeat, pounding rhymically against her cheek.

Ooo0ooO

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf.

Author's Note: Please review!