Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: (chuckles nervously, then rubs back of head) Ehehehe... well, this chapter definitely proves that I'm becoming quite attached to Homestar Runner. But then again, this WHOLE fanfic is based on (is a tiny tribute) to Homestar Runner, with Mario as the star and his series in the mix. So... all I can say... is read and enjoy the chapter, ladies and gentlemen! (runs off stage; crashes into several trash cans) ARGH!! Darn, it, Disclaimer!

Disclaimer: (laughs own head off; head pops off) HEY!! No logic solves nothing! (chases own head)

Mario whistled merrily as he entered into Golly the Goomba's house. Walking up to Golly, who was placing a bow ribbon on her golden hair ponytail, Mario coughed, stating, "Whoa, Golly, you look like a foxy mama!"

Golly frowned, turning around to face Mario. "Mario, that's offensive. Really offensive. I mean, if you call me a foxy mama, it feels insulting in my case, being that I'm young."

Mario scoffed, rolling his eyes. "So, where are we going tonight? The French restaurant nearby the Cheep-Cheep Creek?"

Golly sighed, closing her eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm going on a date with Billy the Bo-Bomb." She chuckled, stating, "I'm guessing you're gonna go and take a nice jog around Great Mariotain, running around in places or something."

Mario shrugged, rubbing the back of his head. "Well, I was going to - you WHAT!?" He gasped, realizing what Golly just stated.

"YOU WHAT!? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, BILLY!!" Kevin shouted in shock, growling as he watched Billy place a blackish bow tie around his circular body.

Billy only muttered as he adjusted his bow tie, "Yeah, I'm going out with good ol' Golly."

Kevin started shaking with rage. "I can't believe this, Billy! You're going out with a GOOMBA!?"

"I can't believe you're cheating on me!" Mario snapped, angry as he shook his fists. "What are you saying? That you want to be exploded!?"

"You can't even call that mushroom... THING... a bond!" Kevin stated, trying his best to prove that Bo-Bombs and Goombas can't mix. "And besides, cross mating is-"

"Just a cheap way to getting benefits from different species!" Mario finished, folding his arms as he pouted.

Golly sighed, turning around and walking up to Mario. She then snapped at the red-capped Italian plumber "Look, Mario, it's just a date. It's ALWAYS has ben an open relationship."

Mario scoffed, laughing right in the cheerful female Goomba's face. "Pa! Ha ha ha! What a laugh! Says you!"

Golly shrugged, but she then winked, giggling as she added, "I bet you're just gonna go out to Birdo and ask her out, aren't cha?"

Mario fumed, feeling jealous. "Yeah, well, I turned down more foxy mamas than I can count than I went out with, JUST to stay completely loyal to you! Plus, I mean, come on, do you know how awful they treat you after a night out!?"

Golly sighed, lowering her eyes. "Oh, you mean the seven humanoid mushroom girls that passed by the town several days ago?" She cunningly retorted, smirking.

Mario snarled, feeling insulted. "Oh, THAT's rich." he narrowed his eyes, glaring at the feminine Goomba. "Ms. Smartyshroom, eh?"

"Mr. Smartybomb, huh?" Kevin snuffed at Billy, replying with a nasty tone, "Well-"

"Why-"

"Don't-"

"You-"

"Just-"

"Go-"

"Out-"

"And-"

"Then-"

"GET OUTTA MY FACE!!" Mario and Kevin angrily shouted at each other, opening their eyes to realize that they were not in front of their friends.

"Mamma mia!" Mario exclaimed, slapping his forehead.

Kevin sweatdropped, his eyes widening as he remarked while looking around himself to find himself in Golly's house, "What in the name of Koopa?"

Golly giggled, smooching Billy on the right cheek. "Come on, Billithan, let's go," She squealed in a sweet, love-able voice as she and Billy headed off for the French restaurant near the Cheep-Cheep Creek.

A few minutes later, back at Golly's house, Mario and Kevin were drinking their sorrows down with orange juice, but it did not seem to work well.

"Oh, man. Seriously, Kevy, MAH BOI, we gotta do something about this..." Mario muttered as he hiccuped, a few orange bubbles coming out.

Kevin belched lightly as he wiped his mouth, replying, "Well, usually, I read some of my books on Koopas to drown my sorrow away." he snapped his fingers, getting an idea. "Maybe we can light them up with gasoline and HARDEN them with FIRE!"

Mario raised his right eyebrow, rubbing the back of his head. "Uhhhh... maybe we should just sabotage their date."

Kevin narrowed heir eyes, asking as he placed his hands on his hips, "Ask me how HARDENING them with FIRE wouldn't work."

Mario sweatdropped, raising his right finger. "Maybe they could break themselves, and reform to kiss each other by making out..."

Silence.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... Quack."

"Mario!"

"Sorry."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... Well?"

"Shut up, Mario, I'm thinking."

"Sigh..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Ugh! Totally gross!" Kevin remarked with disgust, hiding in his green shell as he shuddered at the thought.

Mario sighed as he shook his head, muttering to himself, "I got the perfect way of ruining their date..."

At the French Restaurant...

Golly smiled as she glanced down at the menu, looking up at Billy and smiling. "Oh, Billy, this date's been great. I just love being with you."

Billy nodded, replying, "Is it all right if I asked about your figure, my missus?"

Golly giggled, feeling giddy. "Oh yes, I would be very comfortable about you saying something about my figure." She blew a kiss to Billy. "Thanks for asking."

Billy blushed a bit, and he then replied, "Well... how big is your bu-"

Golly sweatdropped, sighing as she realized why Billy asked. "Ewww, now that you mention it, I'm not that comfortable..."

Kevin then ran in, wearing a waiter's outfit as he glanced at Billy. "Good evening, thy ungodly couple," Kevin stated, trying his best to clear his throat, "I'm Waiter, I'll be your Kevin K. Koopa for the evening." He turned to Golly, asking with a sly smirk, "Can I start you off with a-"

Golly sighed. "Uhh, Kevin? What are you doing here?" She eyed the Koopa suspiciously. "And why are you in waiter's clothes, anyhoo?"

Kevin started to sweat nervously, rubbing the back of his head as he slyly lied, "Well, it's this new part time job I got, so I can be able to pay more bills for-"

"LIES!!" Billy bursted, glaring at Kevin as he shouted, "Get out of here before I explode you into infinity and beyond..."

Kevin chuckled nervously, replying to Billy, "Oh yes, I would be comfortable with you cleaning my clock by exploding-"

"GET OUTTA HERE!!" Billy roared as he started his fuse on top of his head.

Kevin yelped, and he ran off, reappearing briefly, "Can I suggest Breakus Uppicus?"

BOOM!! Billy exploded, and the explosion caused Kevin to be sent soaring in the air, screaming in pain as he was burnt from the explosion. Golly coughed, also covered by the burnt ashes, as she watched Billy tumble down to his right, knocked out cold.

Golly licked her lips together with delight as sherubbedher stomach with her right foot. "Teehee... that mushroom filet was so delicious!' She smiled, looking up to Billy. "How was your gasoline?"

Billy shrugged. "Oh, I could have used more gas than oline." He then bursted into laughter, joined by Golly and her cute giggling.

"Yahoo!" Mario greeted as he ran to Golly and Billy's table, adjusting his white chef's hat, "It's a-me, Mario- err, I mean, the chef-a!" he glanced at Golly, grinning. "Which one-a of you-a ordered the kick-a in the butt-a?"

Golly rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "I thought this was a French restaurant."

Mario's eyes widened. "Oh... uhhh..." He sweatdropped, chuckling nervously. "Snails?"

BOOM!! Billy exploded, causing Mario to be sent soaring in the air, his body burnt by the fiery explosion from the stuffed bomb.

"Eeeeeiiiihoohoohoohooooiiieeee!" Mario cried as a bright star appeared in the dark sky where he was last seen.

Out by the Cheep Cheep Creek, Mario and Kevin were using the fresh water from the creek to clean the ash off themselves. Sighing, the two looked at each other.

"What should we do after that?" Kevin asked as he coughed out a pencil he apparently had in his waiter costume.

Mario rubbed his chin, and he snapped his fingers together, stating proudly, "Onto Plan B - Operation Never Seeing Each Other Again!"

Mario and Kevin both giggled like little Japanese schoolgirls as they watched Golly and Billy skipping down the path with each other. The two males then jumped out and fired off their rockets at the couple, only to scream and run in fright as the rockets backfired and headed towards them, exploding. Golly and Billy bursted into laughter as they watched Mario and Kevin fall down on their backs on the ground, unconscious.

Mario held up a net while Kevin planted several suctions on the ground, hoping back onto the bushes. As the two watched Golly and Billy approaching while riding their new rolling blades, Mario tossed the net onto them, only to miss and get caught in the suctions. Kevin yelped as he jumped out and tried to pull Mario out, but he too got caught by the suction. The two struggled as they were ran over by Bullet Bill Fred, who was on his way back to the Postal Office.

"This one CAN'T fail..." Mario muttered under his breath as he placed the clown costume on himself, "We're going to succeed, Kevin!"

Kevin moaned as he rolled his eyes, the two approaching and started laughing like clowns as Golly and Billy skipped towards them, stopping in their tracks. "...Ewwww!" Golly freaked out as she hid behind Billy, "I hate clowns! They're do gross and spooky!"

Billy then got a determined look on his face, and he approached the two clowns. "Golly, leave these stupid freaks to me!" He started turning a bright yellow, and then...

BOOOOOM!!

Mario and Kevin screamed as they went soaring into the air, having dealt with another explosion.

Mario and Kevin were seen running after Golly and Billy, who both turned around to face the two and stuck their tongues out, honking like a car. Mario and Kevin continued chasing, although they were then ran over by an incoming freight train, being as flat as paper.

Later... much, MUCH later...

"We tried Plan T. Plan U. Plan V. Plan W. Plan X, and Plan Y..." Kevin frowned as he counted off all of the failed attempts. He glanced at Mario, frowning, "What are we gonna do?"

Mario pondered deeply, and he snapped his fingers, grinning. "Of course! Why did I not think of it earlier!" He turned to Kevin, grinning. "The ultimate Plan... Plan Z!"

Kevin's right eye twitched. Plan... Z..."

Mario and Kevin were at the Postal Office, waiting for Bullet Bill Ted to come. As the two yawned, Ted came with their package.

"Hope you use this to its full potential!" Ted stated as he tipped his hat and went back into his office, while Mario and Kevin ran out with giddy, both holding the package.

Later, Mario and Kevin were in Kevin's brown cardboard box, riding on the river leading to Cheep Cheep Creek as they spotted Golly and Billy on the bridge.

"Oh, I didn't know that you liked Super Charging Chucks!" Golly admired, kissing Billy on the cheek as she giggled, "We have so much in common."

Billy could only laugh in a goofy fashion as he blushed red all over his bluish body.

"Couple spotted at twelve o' clock!" Mario shouted, pointing at the bridge. "FIRE!"

Mario and Kevin lighted up their rockets as they prepared to fire, although they were sent blasting backwards. Screaming, Mario and Kevin held onto each other as they tumbled down a waterfall, making a big splash at the bottom.

"Ooooh, fireworks!" Golly gasped, squealing with joy as she hugged Billy, "It's... so romantic..."

"Swing your arms... from side to side..." Mario and Kevin gurgled as they submerged underwater, bubbles appearing in their place.

Later, back at Golly's house, Mario was stomping on the ground in place to lose some stress. He then heard the door open, and snarled at Golly, who whistled merrily.

"Oh, if it isn't golly old Golly... or, is it MAMA Golly, or DR. Golly, or is it Golly the Wizard, Golly the Gray, or THE Golly?" Mario snapped as he folded his arms, growling.

Golly sighed, closing her eyes as she shook her head. "Well, you would be happy to know that it didn't work out." She sighed, frowning as she looked down at hersnazzy, red carpet, "Me and Billy both found out that Goombas and Bo-Bombs can't make love with each other." She sniffled, tears forming in her eyes. "it's a shame... really... Billy was great..."

Mario raised his left eyebrow, and he started laughing, feeling pride in himself. "Well, looks like you finally came crawling back to Mario, eh?"

Golly stopped crying, narrowing her eyes at Mario. "Actually, I just came here to put on my brand new pink dress." She winked at Mario, giggling. "I'm going out with that hot Harryhausen."

Mario jumped in shock as his eyes nearly popped out of his head. "You WHAT!?"

"YOU WHAT!?" Birdo exclaimed in shock, covering her mouth as she watched Dr. Hoshi place on his brand new tuxedo, whistling to himself.