His eyes flutter open to the faint sounds around him, the clock ticking on the wall, the open window going back and forth and the sound of heartbeats going faster and faster. He gets up, swinging his feet to the floor and resting his back to the uncomfortable couch he's been sleeping on for days.

With furrowed eyebrows, he looks at the bed, only to find it empty. His eyes find the bathroom, the door half open and the lights on. He walks to there and pushes the door just a bit.

She looks at him a bit startled, not bothering to take her hand away from her chest. From her place he can tell she was staring at the mirror, and from the sound of her heartbeats he can tell it's been more than few minutes.

Her hair is gathered on one shoulder, the one away from the scar. And her eyes are tired, heavy and red and he can definitely see them shine and it's not just the lights.

"It hurts." She finally speaks after four seconds of just staring blankly at each other. "Is it supposed to hurt?"

He shifts in his place, getting a better hold of the door knob, pursing his lips at the quiver in her voice.

Eyes falling down to the floor- her feet particularly, he mumbles a 'yes, for a while'.

She then nods, mumbles an 'okay' of her own. She licks her lips, looking back to the mirror as her hand continues to stroke the scar.

"I might have an idea, come on." He turns around before she looks at him, walks back to the room and she follows. Her hands are now getting her hair to its normal status. She sits on the couch, eyes following him as he opens the cabinet then walks to her with two beers.

"Seriously?" She titles her head and raises her eyebrows because this is your idea?

He only smiles and sits next to her, hands her one bottle after opening it.

"It won't go away, you'll just get used to it." He starts and he can swear he sees fear in her eyes. "Somehow, for some reason, it won't hurt like this. You just have to be patient." He nods at her and she only purses her lips.

"Yeah, well, not all of us are patient." She fakes a smile before taking a sip.

"That's where the beer comes in, it'll just distract you a bit. Would've gone for something stronger but this what we got for now."

"It's settled then, booze is on our list for grocery."

He laughs, it's not really funny, not even a bit but he laughs. Because he just wants to laugh? It's been like this for the past week they spent together; he's been smiling more, talking a lot more, and laughing with a reason or no reason. It's like he just wants to skip to the part where they get back to their old, usual, light dynamic. He wants to skip all the awkwardness and boundaries and rules and skip straight to let-me-ease-your-pain-and-see-your-weakness part because they already got there, four years ago, when they won the world's best friends' medal.

But no, he has to go through all of it all over again because well, he messed up. And to be honest, he doesn't mind. Starting from the bottom, because he enjoyed it the first time; it's like exploring them all over again. But it's the timing that he minds, because right now they don't need to re-explore what they've already settled years ago. Right now, they need to use all this history between them, all those secrets and conversations and insecurities, fears and hopes. This the right time.

Instead they're wasting their time acting like strangers, worse, like a divorced couple- which is a way to describe it but that's not the point.

"You talked to the kids today?" He asks, and curses himself in his mind because he saw her talking to them.

"Yes." She says after taking another sip. "They're fine." She nods to herself.

"They uh, they're really… cute." He smiles before hiding his lips with the bottle.

She nods with a smile, looking away while chewing on her lip.

Awkward silence, check.

She suddenly groans, head titled and jaw clinched. Her hands go up to her chest in a subtle move. She doesn't even look at him.

"It's like toothache." He says and she looks at him. "Comes and goes. And when it fades you uh…" He pauses, looking down at the beer in his hands. "You almost forget that it ever hurt, but then it comes back. It hits you and… it sucks." He looks at her then.

She is silent. She is always silent lately.

"Well, It's a good thing you had Valerie." She smiles.

He scoffs, looking down and shaking his head. "It's not… it wasn't…" He just shakes his head.

He can see her getting angry, hears her heartbeats getting louder again.

"Caroline, listen-"

"It's not working." She stands up, putting the beer down on the table. "I think I'll just sleep it off, sleeping always works." She mumbles as she already walks to the bed.

He takes a deep breath and doesn't move.

"See ya tomorrow." She says before burying herself under the covers and giving him her back.

He nods to himself.

It seems like whether he likes it or not, he has to start from the bottom.

All over again.