A/N: Sorry for the long wait everyone! Just to clarify, I am writing in third person (and basically omniscient) POV, but I do tend to gravitate toward Jan Di's POV a lot. I also switch POVs quite a bit, and I hope that it's not confusing to read. That's always tricky, but in this chapter I was using the page breaks when I switched POV—in one particular conversation, mainly. So, hopefully it's not confusing. The only other option, really, was to write in that it was so-and-so's POV, which I didn't want to do (and haven't been doing), so I wanted to remain consistent. Also, I hope Ji Hoo, nor anyone else, is too OOC in this. There was one part that I wasn't sure was in character for Ji Hoo, but I really wanted to add it and thought I could get away with it given his status with Jan Di. Anyway, lots of mushy lovey-dovey stuff in this chapter. Hope it's not sappy or too much. And I hope you all enjoy!
Thank you to everyone who has and is reading! I cut this chapter off in a different place than I intended, but I wanted to get it out, so I may be adding two more chapters instead of one more. I am sacrificing sleep to get this out now (for you guys, and also because it drives me a little crazy leaving chapters unfinished when they are so close), so I hope it's OK, haha...
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the BOF characters.
Epilogue Part II: I'm Yours
Jae Kyung swung open the door to greet the expected guests on the other side. And she immediately squealed upon seeing them.
"Jan Di-yah!" Jae Kyung exclaimed, and she immediately accosted Jan Di—colliding with her and knocking her back slightly. Jae Kyung gave Jan Di a tight hug and held on. "I missed you so much!"
"Unnie," Jan Di affectionately greeted, as she returned Jae Kyung's warm welcome with a gentler hug. "I missed you, too. Happy Birthday!"
And they continued to hug one another.
Ji Hoo smiled at the heartwarming scene before him and then looked to Jun Pyo. Jun Pyo shook his head at the women, but he was clearly fighting back a smile, too. Then Ji Hoo went to Jun Pyo; they clasped hands and exchanged a rough, manly hug themselves before turning back to observe their delighted girlfriends, who were still locked in a lingering embrace.
Jun Pyo glanced to Ji Hoo, and they exchanged a grin.
"Ya! Aren't you two done hugging yet?" Jun Pyo asked in mock annoyance.
Jae Kyung pulled back slightly from Jan Di, still holding her by the arms. "Oh, what's wrong, Jun? Not getting enough attention?" she retorted. "I haven't seen Jan Di in forever! And don't forget that it's my birthday, so that means I can hug whoever I want for as long as I want!" and she playfully stuck her tongue out at him.
"Psshh," Jun Pyo grumbled and folded his arms tight. "Well, don't take all night! We need to go soon," he tapped his watch.
"We have time," Jae Kyung insisted, and she turned back to Jan Di. "Gomawo for the birthday wish and for coming! I'm so happy you're both here!" she smiled widely.
"Of course, Unnie. We wouldn't miss it for the world," Jan Di smiled back at her.
Jae Kyung gave Jan Di a final squeeze and broke away. Then she turned to Ji Hoo, "Ji Hoo-ssi!" she exclaimed and threw her arms emphatically around him, putting him in a nearly inescapable bear hug.
When Jae Kyung released him, Ji Hoo gave her a pat on the back and chuckled. He also wished her a happy birthday.
Jae Kyung smiled and bowed to Ji Hoo before returning her attention to Jan Di. She looked Jan Di over. "You look so beautiful, Jan Di-yah!"
"No, you're the beautiful one, Unnie! That dress is incredible!" Jan Di admired Jae Kyung's gown for a moment and then turned to Ji Hoo, who was now at her side again. "Don't you think so, Ji Hoo-yah?"
"Yes, you look very beautiful, Ha Jae Kyung-ssi," Ji Hoo added.
"Gomawo," Jae Kyung replied, beaming. Then, she glanced over at Jun Pyo, her eyelids lowering maliciously. "See, some people think I look pretty, Jun!" and she looked to Jan Di, explaining, "Jun doesn't like my dress very much…"
"What?! How could he not?" Jan Di demanded, incredulous.
Jae Kyung shook her head. "He wouldn't even tell me I look pretty," she pouted. And then she let loose a withering glare upon Jun Pyo.
Jun Pyo gaped and threw up his arms in exasperation.
"Gu Jun Pyo!" Jan Di interjected. "Why wouldn't you tell Unnie that she looks pretty? She looks gorgeous, and it's her birthday!" she chastised.
Ji Hoo simply lowered his head from beside Jan Di, determined to stay out of it.
"Aish, I did tell her!" Jun Pyo shouted back. "I did tell you!" he reiterated, casting his glance to Jae Kyung.
"Well, I had to force it out of you…," Jae Kyung grumbled. Jun Pyo made a snide comment back, to which Jae Kyung responded by going up to him and shoving him in the chest.
And Jan Di took a step back, deciding to also stay out of the lovers' quarrel. Ji Hoo sighed and put an arm around Jan Di's shoulders, while they watched the couple bickering back and forth before them. "Hm, looks like we may have stepped into something," he stated.
"Yes, I think you may be right," Jan Di nodded.
But Ji Hoo and Jan Di knew Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung well, and they also knew that this was completely normal for the twosome—it was just the way they interacted with one another.
"Nothing ever really changes, does it?" Jan Di murmured wistfully—more to herself—with the hint of a smile upon her lips.
Ji Hoo smiled and shook his head, while Jae Kyung and Jun Pyo continued their argument. And then—as suddenly as it had begun—Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung stopped fighting, and he pulled her into a rough yet loving embrace, while Jan Di and Ji Hoo continued to observe. They turned to one another—in order to give the other couple a private moment—and Ji Hoo gave Jan Di a light squeeze.
After several more minutes, Ji Hoo checked his watch, and he gave a gentle throat clear. "Well, shouldn't we get going to meet the others and make our reservation?"
"Oh, right!" Jae Kyung exclaimed.
"Psshh, when I said it you couldn't care less…," Jun Pyo grumbled, and she smacked him on the arm. But then their eyes met, and they smiled at one another.
…
Jun Pyo and Ji Hoo led the way to the car, while the girls lingered behind, arm-in-arm.
"You seem happy, Unnie," Jan Di commented, smiling at her dear friend. It warmed Jan Di's heart to see.
"I am, Jan Di-yah," and Jae Kyung's lips twitched. "I think I'm bursting with happiness, actually. Does that sound stupid?"
"No, it doesn't, Unnie," and Jan Di smiled tenderly. "Not at all. I completely understand…"
And Jae Kyung tossed Jan Di a playful grin. "You and Ji Hoo-ssi look so good together, and you seem really happy, too," and she gave Jan Di's arm a shake.
Jan Di glanced away and bit her lip lightly, "I am," she replied, before turning back to meet Jae Kyung's eyes, "I really am."
Jae Kyung hugged Jan Di's arm tighter. "This is so great—both of us being so happy!"
Jan Di nodded. "Yes, it is, Unnie," and she smiled to herself.
Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung and Jan Di and Ji Hoo arrived at their destination—a lavish, romantic restaurant overlooking Rockefeller Center. Walking into the room, they were met by the sight of: a large crystal chandelier and round tables lined with fancy place settings, votive candles, and elegant cream-colored floral centerpieces. And they were surrounded by the sound of live music—a string ensemble and singer—amidst the sound of couples talking.
They were joined shortly after by Yi Jeong and Ga Eul. So Yi Jeong—the pottery guru—had returned from Sweden as an even more amazing potter, if that was even possible. He had exceeded everyone's expectations and had not only recovered from his hand injury but had surpassed his former abilities. He and Ga Eul were exclusively dating now, and they were completely enamored with each other.
Yi Jeong and Ga Eul were at that stage in their relationship where they couldn't keep their hands off one another—though it wasn't inappropriate, simply sweet. . . They were constantly casting each other private looks; Yi Jeong would hold her hand, touch her shoulder, briefly run his fingers through her hair, and occasionally even give her a kiss on the cheek or the hand.
Jan Di and Ji Hoo were more traditional and reserved about affection in public. But in private, they were still in that mushy stage, too. It had yet to wear off, despite how long they had been together and living in the same house.
The group was also joined by Woo Bin and his latest girlfriend—she was jaw-droppingly gorgeous, of course. Woo Bin was still living the untamed, single life, but there was talk of an upcoming arranged marriage for him.
They all sat down to dinner, and Jan Di looked all around the table, observing her little group. She was so happy that they were all together again.
If someone would have said to Jan Di six years ago that she would be here—dining at one of New York City's hottest venues with F4-she would have suggested they seek out a mental institution. And it all seemed so surreal, how things had turned out…
But now, this group was like family to her…
There was Song Woo Bin—the Don Juan, the backbone of F4. He was playful yet tough and protective; he was like a close cousin to Jan Di, or even a big brother at times. And Jan Di truly hoped he would find happiness someday.
There was So Yi Jeong, the charming one, yet—once believed to be—cold-hearted Casanova. He hid his pure kindness behind a mask, but it always came out at just the right time. And since having Ga Eul in his life, he showed that side much more often.
And then there were Jan Di's sisters…
There was Chu Ga Eul—her oldest and dearest friend, her best friend since kindergarten. It went without saying that Ga Eul would always be there for Jan Di, and Jan Di would always be there for her. Jan Di was immensely pleased that Ga Eul had found a great love in Yi Jeong, and she strongly suspected that she would be part of this little family in the near future, too, officially…
Next, there was Ha Jae Kyung—her unnie—that crazy-cool big sister that every girl dreams of, that Jan Di never had biologically. Jae Kyung was the newest friend and member of the group but one who fit them like a glove. Ha Jae Kyung was caring and loyal; she had saved Jan Di once before, and Jan Di knew that she could always rely on her, too.
Then there was Gu Jun Pyo—the leader, the business tycoon—who initially seemed arrogant and cruel but was truly just a tenderhearted boy who wanted love, deep down. She had a history with him, and she loved him very deeply once—she still felt a kind of love for him and always would. And she knew that their bond would always endure…
After they broke up, Jan Di had worried that it would be awkward being around Jun Pyo, but it really wasn't, not anymore. And in the past, it was difficult and bittersweet to be around Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung—when they were engaged before. On one hand, she was happy to see her friend so happy, but on the other hand, it ripped her heart out anew every second.
But now, Jan Di could legitimately—100 percent—be happy for Jae Kyung. As bad as it sounded, it was so much easier to be happy for someone else when you are happy yourself…
Finally, there was Yoon Ji Hoo—Jan Di's firefighter and soulmate—the man she loved, the man she knew that she was destined to spend her life with…
Jan Di was certain that she could depend on each member of this group, and she felt assured that they would all would remain in her life, always…
F4 and the girls had dinner, while talking and laughed about old times and catching each other up on all that had been going on in their lives. After dinner, a beautiful cake was brought out and lit to celebrate Jae Kyung's 24th birthday. They all sang to her in Korean and English, and the crowd joined in for the latter rendition.
Afterward, Jun Pyo suddenly stood and went up to the stage area where the musicians had been performing. He was given a mic, which he spoke into, informing everyone that he had an announcement. As Jan Di observed Jun Pyo onstage, she noticed that he appeared almost nervous…
"What's he doing?" Jae Kyung muttered.
They all looked between each other, shrugging—though F3 had a guess—and a silence fell.
And then Jun Pyo asked Jae Kyung to join him up there. She looked to Jan Di, her brow wrinkled in confusion, and then she stood and went to him. Jae Kyung joined Jun Pyo on stage.
All of a sudden, he knelt down before her and presented her with a huge diamond ring, that everyone could practically see sparkling from their seats. Jae Kyung's eyes went wide, and she clasped her hands over her mouth. And aws and whispers were heard amongst the crowd, while F3 and the girls looked on.
"Monkey Girl...," he began, and Jae Kyung frowned. "I mean Ha Jae Kyung," he corrected. And she smiled. "You always understood me, and though you can be a major pain sometimes," he grinned. She glared back at him for a second but then softened. "That aside, I love you. I'm not a man of many words, so I'll just say it. Ha Jae Kyung, marry me."
And Jae Kyung didn't hesitate to answer. "YES, Jun! Of course I'll marry you!" she shouted out, through the beginnings of tears.
Jun Pyo smiled and placed the ring upon her finger, and she embraced him around the neck. He picked her up and swung her around once before setting her back on her feet. And everyone began to clap.
F3 had been looking on, slightly shocked—so this was why Jun Pyo had been so insistent that they all come tonight. But then again, they really shouldn't be all that surprised. After all, Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung had been dating for years now, so they should instead be thinking that it was about time.
Jan Di was stunned, and she froze for a moment. . .
Ji Hoo's lips parted at the announcement, and he immediately looked to Jan Di. He watched her closely, gauging her reaction to the event. She blinked a few times and a small smile crossed her lips, and then—with a slightly delayed reaction—she began clapping.
Then, Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung rejoined their group, all smiles. And they were received with congratulations, the clasping of hands, playful comments and friendly slugs to the arm from the guys, and lots of hugging.
Jan Di rose from her seat and went to Jae Kyung; she gave her a warm hug. "Congratulations, Unnie!"
...
After the surprise proposal, a bottle of champagne was brought to the table and drinks were poured all around. F4 and the girls toasted, along with the crowd. And then people began heading to the dance floor.
Yi Jeong gently took hold of Ga Eul's hand—that rested upon the table. He raised her from her seat, pressed a kiss into her knuckle, and then led her out first. Jan Di watched Yi Jeong hold Ga Eul tight and press his cheek against hers, as they danced. Then he whispered something that made Ga Eul shyly avert her eyes and flush before placing a kiss upon her cheek.
Jan Di could have teased her best friend for being entirely too lovey-dovey, but it was far too cute—and she was far too happy for her.
The other couples at the table followed suit and led their significant others to the dance floor.
As she danced silently with Ji Hoo, Jan Di began thinking about Jae Kyung and Ga Eul's relationships, as well as her own. . . Ji Hoo held Jan Di close as they slow-danced. He was very curious about what she was thinking and feeling right now, but he said nothing and simply continued to lead her around the dance floor.
Then they all exchanged partners. And they continued to do so throughout the night until each of the girls had all danced with each member of F4.
The evening had been a long one, and Jan Di was feeling its effects—her feet were lightly aching; her head was faintly spinning, and all she wanted to do was get into a comfortable pair of pajamas and go to bed. But despite her fatigue and the alcohol in her system, she felt amazingly cognizant.
Jan Di did feel as though she could easily drift off to sleep right where she was—in the car, next to Ji Hoo—at the same time, the excitement and the emotion from the evening was still burning off, like the last remaining bit of candle wax.
On the ride back, Jan Di thought of many things. It was strange—all the thoughts that were running a marathon through her head right now, and it was difficult to pinpoint any single one…
Jan Di thought of her friends. She thought of Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung, certainly—about what their life would be like. She imagined them going out and conquering the world and, of course, being happy together. And a smile graced her lips.
Still, Jan Di's emotions were all over the place. She felt happy and nostalgic and uncertain—all at the same time. It felt like so many things were changing all around her, all at once... Her friends were moving forward with their adult lives, and yet her life remained the same…
Oh, it wasn't that she was displeased with her life—not at all. Life with Ji Hoo was pleasant and comfortable, and she honestly couldn't imagine anything better. And it wasn't like she had no future plans. She knew exactly what she was doing with her life and where she was headed. She was going to be a doctor, that is, is she ever made it through medical school… So, what was her problem?
And it suddenly dawned upon Jan Di, as certain as the sun rising.
Could it actually be that she wanted to get married, too? Was she actually feeling jealous—not of Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung exactly, but of the fact that they were getting married and starting a life together, but she was not?
The revelation made Jan Di feel petty, spiteful, and—absolutely—horrible.
Jan Di had never thought herself to be the type of girl to yearn and hint—or pressure her boyfriend—for a proposal, and she refused to do that, no matter what. She refused to even bring it up for fear it would look that way to him.
And it wasn't like she needed a proposal from Ji Hoo right away. Yes, they had been together for a long time now—even longer than Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung—but they were busy people and they had major goals, ones that took time to complete. Jan Di didn't have the time or luxury to be thinking about planning a wedding right now, anyway…
Besides, when she really stopped to think about it, Jan Di was convinced that—wedding or not—she and Ji Hoo would always be together, forever. And she told herself that even if Ji Hoo never wanted to get married, she would remain by his side for the rest of her days…
As her thoughts and feelings continued to churn within her, Jan Di looked out the window on her side, taking in the luminous view of Times Square as they passed it. And she inwardly groaned at herself, chalking her temporary insanity up to her family's continuous pestering for Ji Hoo and her to tie the knot.
…
Ji Hoo had been studying Jan Di sporadically along the car ride back to the hotel, and he noticed that she had been oddly silent during most of the drive. It concerned him a bit.
By now, Ji Hoo was very familiar with every aspect of Jan Di—her facial expressions, her gestures, her mannerisms—and those features had varied greatly over the course of their return trip.
Ji Hoo watched her now, as she gazed out upon the still wakeful and brightly illuminated city through her side window. And he was analyzing her—what he could see of her face, anyway—for any sign of distress in her.
Normally, a silence between the two of them was not uncomfortable—and silence, in general, and simply being with Jan Di was usually calming for Ji hoo—but this time it was almost torturous. Only because his own mind was running rampant…
Finally, Ji Hoo decided to end his own mental torment. He fixed his gaze out his own window and with a gentle throat clear, he spoke. "So, exciting night, huh?"
It sounded stupid, but he didn't know what else to say without coming right out with it.
"Mm," she distractedly murmured, while still looking out the window.
"Long day…," he continued pelting her with dumb platitudes.
"Yes," she replied, without looking over.
He attempted to read her emotions through her tone and vocal intonation. "How do you feel?" Ji Hoo asked. And then he paused for a few seconds before adding, "Are you tired?" Although, it wasn't exactly what he wanted to know.
She finally looked over at him. She had looked so beautiful tonight, and the faint amount of lighting coming in through the moonroof hit her lovely face just right. And he would have enjoyed simply admiring her face, if he wasn't so concerned about what was going on inside her head.
"A little. I feel kind of fuzzy, actually. I don't know if it's jetlag or the champagne," she gave a small chuckle at her lousy attempt at humor.
Ji Hoo smiled softly at her. Then, he glanced back out the window, as he worked up the courage to ask her about what was on his mind. She had reassured him just hours ago that she held no lingering feelings for Jun Pyo, but surely this news must have brought back some old memories…and possibly feelings…
After a few seconds, he opened his mouth to speak again, but then he felt a weight upon his shoulder. When he looked back, Jan Di's head had settled—gentle as a feather—onto its usual place upon his shoulder. And her eyes were closed. Ji Hoo's shoulder had become Jan Di's sanctuary—a place for her to take refuge, a place of comfort, and a thinking spot, all in one.
Ji Hoo smiled; he craned his neck slightly and leaned down to softly press his lips to her forehead. And then he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in closer. Jan Di instinctually nestled into her special spot in the crook of his neck, her eyelashes fluttering like the wingtips of butterflies.
Absentmindedly, Ji Hoo began to run his fingers through the silky strands of her hair. And Jan Di let out a contented sigh. This tender ministration of his had great power over her—to lull her to sleep. In the past, she had even boldly asked him to stroke her hair—at night when she was having trouble falling asleep. It had a calming effect upon her and always seemed to put her right out. Nowadays, she no longer needed to ask him to do that; he just knew.
Ji Hoo gazed upon Jan Di's face. She looked peaceful…
He was certain that she had fallen asleep—when she said nothing for five minutes and her eyes remained closed—but then he heard her suddenly speak. "Can you believe that Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung are engaged—again?" she murmured, "Did you know that he was going to propose?"
Jan Di opened her eyes; she sat up and looked at him.
Ji Hoo pursed his lips. "Well, I had the feeling that something was up, but I must admit that it caught me a bit off-guard. I've known Jun Pyo for nearly 20 years, but he still manages to surprise me now and then," he said with a wry smile. "I thought it would take him forever to actually pop the question to Jae Kyung."
Jan Di gave a single nod. Then, she grew silent and looked out her window again.
Ji Hoo was almost afraid to ask, but he couldn't stand it any longer. "What do you think of this turn of events, Jan Di-yah?"
She remained silent, seemingly off in some other world.
"Jan Di, are you alright?"
"Hm?" she muttered upon being stirred from her reverie.
She looked back to him. "Oh, sorry, yes. Um, what was the question?"
Ji Hoo glanced down at his hands. "What do you think of Jun Pyo and Jae Kyung getting married?" he delicately repeated.
After a few seconds, he looked over at her. His eyes were expectant, but—as always—he waited patiently for her reply.
"Oh, I think it's wonderful," she gave him a sincere smile. "I'm very happy for them."
Ji Hoo nodded to himself. But then he began studying her again, as if under a microscope. He did it all the time, especially when he felt that something was wrong. He couldn't help himself from doing so… And he told himself that it was because he was responsible for ensuring her well-being—and usually that was the case—but that was only part of it, and right now, it was more about his own insecurity.
Jan Di had turned her eyes out the window again.
"Were you shocked by his proposal?" he asked.
She paused and thought about his question. "A little bit—at first—I guess. I mean, I knew their relationship was going well, so I figured that it would happen eventually. I just didn't think it would be tonight, though," Jan Di gave an awkward chuckle, keeping her eyes fixed upon the passing city outside her window.
"Neither did I." But he should have seen it coming, Ji Hoo told himself. He should have known and had he known, he could have prepared Jan Di for it. She had been completely blindsided, and he felt guilty for that…
Ji Hoo paused for a moment, his eyes shifting from side to side. And then he released a soft exhale.
"You know, Jan Di… I know you're happy for them, and I know what a caring, selfless person you are, but…it's OK if you have…mixed feelings about this. It would be understandable," and Ji Hoo looked her in the eyes.
"Mixed feelings? What do you mean?" Jan Di asked.
Wow, he is perceptive… Although, she had a feeling that they were not thinking exactly the same things..
"Well," Ji Hoo lowered his eyes. "I noticed that you seemed a bit quiet after Jun Pyo announced his engagement and since then…," he paused. "But I do understand. It's only natural to have some mixed feelings about Jun Pyo getting married, with your history, and I'm sure the engagement must have brought back some painful memories..." Ji Hoo turned his head away from her, immediately berating himself for saying such a thing. He hadn't wanted to bring it up, but he didn't want her to hold it in, if it was in fact bothering her.
Jan Di tightened her jaw. She had to admit that she was rather annoyed by his insinuation that she still had lingering feelings for Jun Pyo. Hadn't they already been over this? But she could understand his fears, too. Although it didn't quite make sense to Jan Di how Yoon Ji Hoo could be so afraid of losing her, she knew that petrifying feeling of insecurity and doubt.
"That wasn't why I've been quiet tonight," she reassured. "Please don't overthink this, Ji Hoo."
Ji Hoo's lips parted slightly, and he kept his eyes on her.
…
Jan Di let out a soft sigh, and then she placed her hand over his larger one that rested beside her on the seat. Ji Hoo glanced down at her hand and slipped his fingers between hers, giving them a tender squeeze.
Jan Di smiled down at their interwoven hands before looking up at him with a more serious expression.
"I know you're concerned about me, Ji Hoo-yah, but you don't need to be. Please don't worry," she spoke—direct and sincere. "I admit that I did remember that time when Madam Kang announced Gu Jun Pyo's engagement to Ha Jae Kyung before, but I wasn't dwelling on it. I'm not feeling regretful or nostalgic. I truly am happy for Gu Jun Pyo and Unnie."
Ji Hoo breathed a sigh of relief?, and he nodded. "But then, what is it, Jan Di-yah?" he paused. "I know that something is on your mind…"
Jan Di took a deep breath and released it slowly. She peeled her fingers away from his and squeezed her hands together in her lap.
She couldn't possibly tell him all the thoughts that had crossed her mind tonight. . . But, as she stared down at her hands within her lap, she could feel that Ji Hoo was patiently waiting for her to say something.
"It's just that…," and Jan Di gave a nervous laugh. "No, never mind," she shook her head emphatically.
"You can tell me, Jan Di-yah," he spoke softly.
"It's nothing. I'm fine, really, Sunbae!"
She knew she wasn't convincing him, and it didn't seem like Ji Hoo was going to let up. But what should she say to him exactly?
"I uh think I just had too much champagne, and I'm tired, and…," Jan Di hesitated.
…
She could sense that he wasn't buying it.
"And, well, I guess my parents have been kind of bugging me…," she finally admitted with a sigh.
"Bugging you? About what?"
Jan Di looked away, hemming and a hawing. She didn't want to say it.
"If you don't want to talk about it I'll respect that, but I hope you know that you can tell me anything."
"I know, but…," she muttered.
"You can tell me," he gently reiterated. "After all, what good is a boyfriend if you can't tell him your troubles?" Ji Hoo wouldn't normally pressure her to talk when she didn't want to, but his own anxieties were driving him wild now…
Jan Di sighed and without making eye contact replied, "Well, my parents. . . they want us to get married."
Ji Hoo nodded. "I see," he replied in a completely calm voice.
"Ahh, I'm so sorry, Sunbae! I'm so sorry to bring that up!"
"No, that makes perfect sense."
Jan Di sighed heavily. "…My mother has especially been giving me a hard time—about us living together for so long and not even being engaged. She says it's not proper, something about not giving it away for free…," Jan Di mumbled, as she turned away from him, her cheeks heating up.
And Ji Hoo burst out laughing; he couldn't help it. Jan Di gaped and glanced over at him quizzically. She didn't find it so funny…
Ji Hoo instantly stifled the laugh when she looked at him, and he put on a straight face. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jan Di-yah. I know that it's not funny. Um, what did you tell her?"
"Well, I didn't really know what to say to that, but I just told her not to worry about it… Ahh, but I don't care what they think!" she exclaimed. "And it's not like it's really any of their business…," Jan Di grumbled. "I'm an adult now."
"Well, they are your parents, and they love you. Parents will always care and insert their opinions on their children's lives. That's what they do…" And Ji Hoo grew quiet.
After all, he didn't really know what parents do…
Ji Hoo had nothing to base that assessment on, aside from common sense. He had been very young when he lost his own parents, so he hadn't had the experience of his parents getting involved in his love life. And the other parents he knew—Jun Pyo's, Yi Jeong's, and Woo Bin's—were not such good ones, so he was relieved that Jan Di's parents at least seemed to care about her.
"I'm glad they do," he said.
Jan Di looked at Ji Hoo curiously.
"I'm glad that you have parents who care," he explained—his voice was a bit sad yet completely sincere.
"Sunbae…," and she turned to him and placed her hand over his again. He must have been reminded of his own parents, and it dug at Jan Di's heart.
Then, Jan Di tightened her mouth and wrung her hands lightly. "Thank you, Sunbae. I know they care, but sometimes I just wish they wouldn't butt in on my life so much… Sometimes I think it's less about the caring and more about ensuring that I land a rich husband—well, at least with my mother," she grumbled.
And the admission made Jan Di feel utterly humiliated.
But surely Ji Hoo knew this about her family already… He was aware of their financial situation—he had paid off their debts, after all. The gesture had been very sweet and generous—her firefighter had come to the rescue once again—but it left Jan Di feeling a bit ashamed. . .
"I'm sure it's more than that," he said.
Jan Di nodded. "Yeah, I suppose."
"And how do you feel about that, Jan Di? Do you also want a rich husband?" he asked with a wry smile. It was meant to be playful and a little suggestive, in order to lighten the mood.
Jan Di tightened her mouth and looked away. "Oh, well you know that none of that matters to me. I couldn't care less if my husband was filthy rich or dirt poor… In fact, I think I'd rather he be on the poorer side," she said with a sardonic smile.
The corners of Ji Hoo's mouth twitched. And he couldn't resist teasing her a bit more. "So, does that mean that I need to donate all my money to charity and move us to a small house in the countryside so that you don't break up with me?"
Jan Di's head snapped back toward him. "Well, I…I wasn't suggesting…I mean…," she stammered. Once again, she had spoken without thinking it through.
Ji Hoo gave her a gentle smile. And then he grew serious. "Because I would, you know. I'd give it all up—all my wealth—if that's what it took to be with you. . ." Though it was an extreme notion, he truly meant it. If he thought for a second that it was what would make her happy, he would do it—in a heartbeat.
"Ji Hoo…," she stared back at him, truly touched.
It actually didn't seem like such a bad idea to Jan Di. She scooted closer to him and reached out for his face. She touched his cheek tenderly and then brought his face closer to hers. She briefly touched her lips to his.
…
"No, you don't have to do that. You don't have to do anything," she added. "I don't see you in terms of your wealth. I just see you as my Ji Hoo Sunbae—you always have been and always will be that to me. You're my firefighter. …And I love you. That's all that matters to me."
Ji Hoo smiled lovingly down at her. "Jan Di-yah…," and he kissed her lips. "I love you, too, my otter."
"Ah, I know I shouldn't be complaining about my parents," she dropped her head in shame and sorrow, "…especially since you…," and Jan Di stopped herself. She looked away, clenching her jaw and squeezing her eyes shut. She couldn't believe she had said such things to her orphaned boyfriend—and now she was simply digging herself a deeper hole.
...
Jan Di hesitantly glimpsed Ji Hoo, whilst fighting back the tears that were welling up—at the thought of the pain Ji Hoo had experienced. She lowered her eyes, saying, "Sunbae, I'm so...so…"
He smiled genuinely at her.
"It's OK, Jan Di," and he took hold of her hand again. "I have my grandfather now to butt in on my life," he gave a little chuckle. "And it's all because of you. . ."
She gave him a sheepish grin and then opened her mouth to once again justify her actions with Grandfather, but he instead brought her dainty—yet hard-working—hand to his lips and placed a tender kiss upon it. "So…gomawo."
Jan Di gave him an affectionate smile. "You don't need to thank me, Sunbae. You've done so much for me—so much that I could never, ever in my lifetime repay you. And all I've really done is intrude upon your life and turn it upside down."
"Geum Jan Di," he spoke in a voice that commanded her full attention. "It's true that my life changed completely when you came into it, but that's not to say it was a bad change—not at all. In fact, I owe you a lot. For the longest time, I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone…well, I dreamed of Seo Hyun for a while, but truthfully, I expected to be alone forever. I got used to it—spending my days alone in that big, empty house. I was always alone, except at school and when I was with F4. But then you came along… Like I said before, you have given me so much more than I have given you…and now I can't imagine my life without you."
"Sunbae…"
"I can't imagine Grandfather not living with me, either. And speaking of him, you know that Grandfather is crazy about you, right Jan Di-yah? I honestly think he believes that you are too good for me," Ji Hoo grinned at her.
Jan Di shook her head. "That can't possibly be true."
"No, I'm certain that it is. One time he told me he was against you being with someone as snobbish as me."
And Jan Di couldn't help but laugh. "You're kidding!"
Ji Hoo shook his head. "No, he really said that."
"You're not snobby at all, Sunbae."
"Apparently, Grandfather thinks so," Ji Hoo grinned. "But despite that, I'm fairly certain he was trying to fix us up before. Do you remember the time he tricked us into meeting on the bridge—you recall the wedding contest?"
Jan Di smiled widely. "How could I forget?"
At the time, Jan Di had been so depressed over Jun Pyo's impending marriage, but the contest had been a nice distraction. She'd felt embarrassed—dressing up in a wedding gown and then being cheered on by a crowd to kiss Ji Hoo—but looking back on it now, it was one of her fondest memories. . .
"Well, you know that my parents think you're too good for me!" Jan Di chuckled.
And then she recalled a previous conversation with her parents—and how true that actually was. At that, she grew somber. "Do you know that my mother actually warned me about not letting you slip through my fingers? She keeps pestering me about it, and she reminded me that…I'm not such a great prize…" Jan Di quickly shut her mouth, realizing she had spoken far too freely.
Ji Hoo gave a short, sharp exhale. "She actually said that to you? How could your own mother say something so cruel to you?" He seemed put off—a bit angry even.
"Well, not exactly in those words, but that was the gist…"
"That's terrible…," he muttered. "And you are a great prize!
Jan Di smiled in sincere appreciation. "Thank you, Sunbae, for saying that, but she's right, isn't she?"
"No, she's not."
And suddenly all of Jan Di's insecurities—things that should not bother her after all this time—came spilling out of her. "Come on, Ji Hoo. Look at you and look at me. We're not exactly a matching couple. And your last girlfriend was a model. How can I compare to that? And I'm not exactly the best cook or housekeeper," she hung her head slightly.
Ji Hoo took Jan Di's hand again, "It doesn't matter that Seo Hyun was a model. None of that matters to me. You should know by now how beautiful and special you are to me, and my love for you goes far beyond anything I ever felt for her."
And then—wanting to both make amends for her mother's words and convince Jan Di that he meant every one of his—Ji Hoo proceeded to place a line of kisses all along Jan Di's hand and arm. "Jan Di, don't ever think such things—don't ever think that you're not good enough for me. You're sweet…beautiful…and amazing; you're my Wonder Girl…," he uttered between kisses.
"Ji Hoo…," Jan Di flushed. She turned away for a moment to compose herself. She shut her eyes tight briefly and took a deep calming breath.
Gomawo…
Then, Jan Di released a small sigh and turned back to him. "Honestly, I don't think my mother meant it the way it sounded. She just tends to speak without thinking sometimes…" Hm, that must be where I get it… "I think it was just her way of making sure I'm taken care of. . ."
Ji Hoo nodded. He would always take care of her; he wanted her to know this, and he prepared to tell her so—hoping it wouldn't sound like she needed taken care of to the fiercely independent Geum Jan Di—but she spoke before he could.
With a scoff, Jan Di said, "I can't believe I brought all this up to you," and she looked away, her cheeks heating up in anger—at herself—and embarrassment. "I'm so sorry. I feel so ashamed…and I hope you know that I'm not angling for a proposal. It just freaked me out when my mother reminded me that I don't have anything special to offer and that I could. . . lose you."
"You're never going to lose me," he fervently replied, wiping away a stray tear of hers. "That will never happen. I love you so much, my otter. And I promise you that I'm not going anywhere…"
"Ji Hoo, I…love you, too."
Ji Hoo flashed her a brilliant smile, and he leaned in to press a sweet kiss briefly to her lips.
After they parted, Jan Di took a deep breath and spoke again, "And I want you to know that I'm really happy with you. I'm really happy with the way things are now, Sunbae," she assured. "It's just my parents that are pushing for this. . . But I hope you know that I don't expect anything from you! We don't have to get married—ever—if you don't want to! I just want to be by your side, if you'll allow me…"
And she meant part of that—the parts about being happy and staying at his side. She wanted to convey to him that there was no pressure, that she was happy simply being near him. . .
But the truth of the matter was that Jan Di did hope to marry, someday…
Ji Hoo was taken aback. "Is that really how you feel about it? Are you saying that you are OK with never getting married?"
"Well, I'm not saying that exactly. . . I was just saying that you shouldn't feel pressured to marry me."
"Do you really think that I don't want to marry you, Otter?" he asked, as if it was a ridiculous notion.
"Well, I don't know…," Jan Di looked away, feeling absolutely mortified. Keeping her eyes lowered, she mumbled, "We've just never talked about it, so I didn't know how you felt."
Ji Hoo immediately took her hands in his, turning her toward him. He began running his fingers lightly across her knuckles. "Well, Jan Di-yah, I know we have never talked about it, but I think about it all the time…," he spoke softly.
"You do?" she stared up at him with large doe eyes.
"Of course I do. I've planned it out so many times in my head, in all these different ways, but none of them seemed worthy of you," Ji Hoo scoffed at himself.
But the truth of the matter was that he now knew exactly when and where he would propose. "But nothing would make me happier than to have you as my wife, Otter," he said.
"Sunbae…"
He smiled affectionately down at her.
"And what about you, Jan Di-yah?" his gaze grew serious. "Does that scare you—the idea of marrying me someday?"
"Of course not. And…," she blushed. "I admit that I have thought about it, too, and it makes me feel really happy. She beamed up at him.
Suddenly, Ji Hoo let out a small sigh. "I know I take a long time to do things, but there's a reason for that this time… The main reason is that I know you have important things you are doing with your life right now. I didn't want to add to your stress. And I wanted to wait for the right time. . . I want it to be perfect."
Jan Di smiled tenderly at him, her eyes moistened now. "Ji Hoo, I can wait for as long as it takes. And I don't need some fancy proposal. I never really went for those huge gestures F4 always seemed to make, anyway. All I want is for us to be together, always."
"We will be. If I have any say in it, that is. I never want to be apart from you, Jan Di. Why do you think I convinced your family to allow you to continue living with me? Even with Grandfather there, that house would feel so empty without you. You belong there. It's your home now, too, and it always will be. . ."
"Ji Hoo…"
"I told you before, didn't I—that I can't live without you? And I still mean that with all my heart."
Ji Hoo leaned in, capturing her lips, and they shared a lingering kiss. When their lips parted, they embraced tightly, just as the car arrived at the hotel.
When they arrived in New York earlier that day and attempted to check in, Ji Hoo and Jan Di were told that their rooms were not ready yet. Upon arrival now, the hotel staff further informed them that there was a mistake in booking and that there was only one room available—the deluxe suite—and that they would be upgraded for free.
Ji Hoo looked to Jan Di and asked if she would prefer to go elsewhere, but she simply shook her head and indicated that it was fine. Why couldn't they stay in the same hotel room? They lived together, after all…
They took the elevator up and stepped into a lavish suite, followed by the bellman with their luggage. Ji Hoo generously tipped the man and sent him off.
"What is all this?" Jan Di asked, incredulous, as her eyes wandered the large room.
The beautiful suite contained a huge king-sized bed laced with rose petals. There was also a jacuzzi tub filled with rose petals. On the table was a bucket of ice with a bottle of champagne sticking out of it, and beside the bucket were two champagne flutes and an assortment of chocolate-covered strawberries.
Jan Di looked to Ji Hoo for explanation and he simply shrugged. "Hm, I guess they gave us the honeymoon suite…"
She eyes him suspiciously. "Did you…set this up by chance?"
He turned from her slightly, stuck his hands into his pockets, and nonchalantly walked over to the table, observing the items there. "I don't know what you're talking about, Jan Di-yah. The manager told us that it was a mistake. These things do happen," and he pulled out the bottle of champagne. "Besides, would I do something like that?" he grinned back at her over his shoulder.
Jan Di squinted back at him. "No, I wouldn't think so. It's more the kind of stunt Woo Bin Sunbae or Yi Jeong Sunbae would pull—back in his Casanova days," she added with a smirk.
Ji Hoo flinched slightly. Ouch, low blow, Jan Di-yah…
"Well, we might as well take advantage of it," Ji Hoo said.
Jan Di shot him another skeptical look before smiling faintly. And she took in the space. "It is a really nice room."
Ji Hoo smiled to himself. "I'm glad it's to your liking." And he removed the foil from the bottle and popped out the cork. "Would you like some?" he asked.
"More champagne?" Jan Di asked, incredulous. "I already had a glass and a half earlier. Are you trying to get me drunk, Sunbae?!" she asked in a raised, humorous tone of voice.
Ji Hoo's eyes widened slightly. "What? No, of course not. I just thought since it was here…," and he cleared his throat.
Jan Di chuckled. "Alright, but just a little bit," she pinched two fingers together to indicate a small amount. And he poured a half glass full for each of them. Then, Ji Hoo took both glasses in hand and went to her. He handed hers to her and held his out for a toast.
"To my beautiful otter, who has been working her way tirelessly through medical school, and who I am so proud of and love so much."
Jan Di smiled and nodded to him in appreciation. They clinked their glasses together and each and took a sip. Then, Jan Di began walking around the room. She was suddenly, inexplicably nervous—and she felt the need to keep her distance from him. It was strange…
The atmosphere in the room was thick with romance, and Jan Di was not entirely sure she trusted herself with such a temptation… What was he doing to her anyway? So, she continued to stall and remain as far away from him as she could.
Ji Hoo watched Jan Di roam around the room. He watched her trail her hand along the bed, catching the hint of a smile upon her face as she fingered the crimson rose petals.
"Are you OK?" he asked gently.
She turned back to look at him. "Of course," and she nodded vibrantly.
Ji Hoo took another sip of champagne and then put the glass down. He tightened his mouth. "Is…this OK?"
Jan Di nodded. "Yes. After all, we are dating and we do live together... So, it's no big deal for us to share a hotel room and a bed for the night, right?" she gave an awkward chuckle. "It's not like we haven't before…" And her words were true, but for some reason, Jan Di felt her cheeks warming.
She supposed it was because this was completely different. They were in a foreign city, all alone, and in a beautiful, romantic hotel suite…
Although they had often shared a bed, it was usually innocent—consisting only of cuddling or falling asleep watching a movie together. There were certainly times in the past, though—Jan Di had to admit—when things heated up and nearly got out of hand. But during every one of those numerous make-out sessions, one of them had put on the brakes—usually Ji Hoo.
And Jan Di was suddenly reminded of a previous conversation with Ga Eul…
Early on, Jan Di had reluctantly told Ga Eul some things about her relationship with Ji Hoo—leaving out most of the details, of course—after she dragged it out of her… And to Jan Di's shock, Ga Eul had replied, "So, basically you're just torturing the poor guy. . . getting him all worked up and then not going through with it?
Jan Di tried to explain that Ji Hoo had been holding back, too, and that he never acted upset with her for any of it, but Ga Eul had a point.
After that comment from her best friend, Jan Di tried to refrain from going to Ji Hoo's room at night, even when he tossed out hints that he wanted her to do so. She told herself that it wasn't right for her to sleep in his bed when they weren't married, even if they weren't actually sleeping together. . .
And she was doing it for him, too. Like Ga Eul had so brazenly suggested, it was just a tease to him. But then, Ji Hoo almost seemed hurt when she stopped doing that for a while and somehow things ended up back the way they were.
During those times when she kept to her own room, Jan Di realized how empty it felt sleeping in her bed alone—and how much she missed having his arms wrapped around her while she slept… Jan Di had never thought she would be the type of girl to be so needy, but she did, she needed him…and she needed the euphoric feeling that came from being in his arms. It was like a sickness, really. . .
Ji Hoo went to Jan Di. And she jumped when she felt him take hold of her arms from behind—startling her from her reverie. He turned her around to face him, and she looked up at him with large, chocolate eyes. Ji Hoo studied her for a moment. "Are you sure you're OK?"
Jan Di gave a small laugh. "Of course, Sunbae. Why wouldn't I be?"
Ji Hoo began lightly stroking her arms, sending chills all throughout her body.
"Well, you seem a bit…nervous. Are you nervous being here with me, Jan Di-yah?" he spoke softly, as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.
She laughed again—louder this time. "No, of course not!"
Ji Hoo smiled faintly. "Alright then." He released her and turned to walk back over to the table.
Ji Hoo was completely cool, but Jan Di remained suspicious. "Sunbae?"
"Hm?" he asked from across the room, after taking another sip of champagne.
"I was just wondering…are you sure you didn't have anything to do with all this?" she further interrogated.
Ji Hoo stuffed his hands into his pockets without responding.
"Because it just seems kind of…convenient…"
"Convenient?" he asked casually.
"Yes! Convenient, that there was only one room left, and it was this one…with the single bed and the jacuzzi, and the champagne, and rose petals everywhere…," she went to the bed and picked up a rose petal and then dropped it, allowing it to flutter gently back to its resting place.
Jan Di turned her face from him and took a deep breath. She was beginning to freak out a little bit…
Get a grip, Geum Jan Di! She told herself.
Ji Hoo remained silent.
"What are you up to Yoon Ji Hoo?!" Jan Di demanded, turning back around and placing her hands upon her hips.
"I'm not up to anything, Jan Di-yah," Ji Hoo said with a straight face, and he went for his suitcase.
"Are you sure about that?" she cocked her head to the side and watched him begin to unpack his suitcase. "Are you perhaps trying to seduce me, Yoon Ji Hoo?"
Ji Hoo turned back to look at her again. "Seduce you?" he laughed. "Of course not. I know that Geum Jan Di is not so easily seduced. I wouldn't even attempt it," and he returned to his unpacking.
Jan Di watched him. She raised a brow and placed a finger to her chin. Then, she slowly approached him. "I guess you're right… What was I thinking?"
She stood before him, and he turned to face her, looking down into her eyes.
"I was just joking, anyway, babo!" and she gave him a light shove. "My Ji Hoo Sunbae would never come up with such a diabolical scheme…he is completely sweet and innocent," she smirked.
Ji Hoo cocked a brow. "You think so, huh? You know him quite well, don't you, Otter?" Ji Hoo grinned.
"Yes," she nodded assuredly. "I do know Ji Hoo Sunbae well."
"Perhaps you don't know him as well as you think…perhaps he is just good at acting innocent…," and Ji Hoo wrapped his arms around her waist.
Jan Di smirked and wrapped her arms around his neck. "No, I do. I know him so well…"
"Well, perhaps he thought you knew him too well…and he wanted to surprise you by doing something romantic that you wouldn't expect of him…," and Ji Hoo began to roam his hands up her back.
Jan Di tilted her head slightly—exposing her neck—and she stared up at him. "Is that what happened?"
Ji Hoo smiled and placed his forehead against hers. "Maybe…," he paused. "So, what if he did devise this plan? What if there was no mistake and your dear sunbae just wanted to have you here with him? What would you think of that?"
Jan Di glanced to the side and bit down on her lip. She looked back, and their eyes met again. "In that case, I would think that someone had replaced my Ji Hoo Sunbae with an imposter who looks exactly like him…because my Ji Hoo Sunbae would never resort to such trickery…," and she fixed him with a hardened stare.
Somewhere along the line, Jan Di had cast aside her nervousness—probably about the time when he put his arms around her.
Ji Hoo stared back at her with an intense gaze for a few more seconds before capturing her lips in a quick, yet passionate kiss.
After they broke away, Ji Hoo whispered huskily, "So, I am an imposter then? What will you do now?"
And then a playful grin crossed Jan Di's lips, and she kissed him again. "Well, I am very surprised by this, but I guess there's nothing I can do about it, so I might as well go along with it."
"I see," he raised a brow and ran his hands up and down her arms, squeezing here and there and sending tingles shooting throughout her like meteors. "So, you're saying that you are fine with spending the night with my imposter?"
With a fervent stare, she slowly nodded.
Ji Hoo turned his head slightly, yet his hands remained around her waist. "I don't know how I should feel about that Geum Jan Di-ssi," he chastised. And then he turned back. "But I think that I will let it slide…this time…only because I did deceive you, and I am very sorry for that. But I want you to know that it wasn't for any impure reasons," and he moved his hands up to her face, cupping it. "I just wanted to do something romantic for you, since you've been working so hard. Are you angry with me?" he asked sincerely this time.
The corners of Jan Di's mouth twitched. "I probably should be, but I'm not."
Ji Hoo sighed. "I was hoping this would be nice, but I think it just came off as desperate… But I want you to know that I'm still not expecting anything from you."
"Really?" she gestured to the room, reminding him of all the evidence to suggest otherwise.
Ji Hoo dropped his hands from her face and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, I know it looks bad. But I'm really not expecting anything except to be here with you. We don't have to take things any further than—"
Jan Di silenced him with a kiss, which Ji Hoo eagerly participated in. He touched and tasted her lips and began exploring her with his hands. Then, Ji Hoo placed kisses upon each cheek before trailing his lips down her neck. Jan Di let out a sudden gasp of pleasure from the sensation that snuck up and overtook her. And then he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed.
…
***To Be Continued***
A/N: What now? Haha. Thoughts? I know the Ji Hoo/Jan Di conversation in the car was really long, but there was a lot I wanted them to discuss. I do feel like Ji Hoo was a bit OOC at the end, so, sorry about that, but I had fun with his character this chapter, and their relationship is progressing... But, I hope you all enjoyed, and let me know what you think if you feel so inclined.
Final parts: "Marry Me (Parts I and II)"- Jan Di graduates, and everyone else is moving forward with their lives, too. Will Ji Hoo propose? If so, will Jan Di say yes? Will Jae Kyung and Jun Pyo's marriage go off without a hitch? Will they all live happily ever after?