"This is the birthday song, it isn't very long. Hey!" Colton shouted, spinning in a circle around the kitchen. "I am seven and Ben is four and the baby Aves is one whole year old!"
"I am four!" Ben confirmed with a nod. "Four, four, four!"
"I 'member when I was four," Colton said wistfully. "Those were the days."
Lindsay and Adam both erupted into laughter at the words and Colton smiled. He was used to them laughing at things he said, and he was tired of asking why it was funny, so he just acted like he knew.
"So what are we gonna do today?" he asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it again.
"We're going to go bowling first, and then we're going to come back here for cake and ice-cream and birthday spankings."
"Don't forget the pinch to grow an inch."
Colton nodded, ignoring their teasing.
"Okay, so today is my actual birthday and Avery's actual birthday. And tomorrow is Juniors actual birthday, and Ben's is a few days later, right?"
"Yeah, on Wednesday."
"I like that all our birthdays are together, but I wish Isa and Sarah had their birthdays with us instead of in the summer."
"That would be crazy," Lindsay said, scraping the rest of the frosting out of the bowl and touching up a few thin spots on the cake. "Are you going to want seven candles on your cake, or just the number seven?"
"I don't know. Can I think about it?" he asked, looking at the yellow cake. "Can you tell me what kind of cake it will be?"
"Nope, that's a surprise."
"Okay mama. Can you tell me about Ben's cake?"
"Nope, you'll tell."
"How about the baby Aves cake? I could tell her and she won't even know!"
"Nope, it's all a secret. Fair is fair."
"Okay. How come the baby Aves gets a big cupcake too?"
"Because everyone gets their own little cake on their first birthday."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Why mama?"
"She's gonna play in it," Adam answered. "Smear it all over everything."
"That's what she always does with her food."
"Yeah, well she's ahead of the first birthday curve then. Speaking of our daughter, should I go get her up?"
"Yeah, I told her last night that she could relax in her crib as long as she wanted this morning because it's her birthday," she teased, half wondering why their little screamer wasn't awake and gracing them with her vivaciousness.
"How come you didn't tell me that, mama?" Colton asked as Adam started up the stairs.
"Because you would have been up at the butt crack of dawn anyway."
"Oh, that's right. So how long until we leave to go bowling?"
"After lunch."
"Aw man! What do we do until then?"
"If you want to get your coats and gloves and boots on, you can go play in the backyard."
"Ben, wanna go outside with me? We could check on our snowman!"
"Okay. Mama put my boots on."
"Go get them and I'll help you."
The boys dashed off into the other room while Adam came downstairs with Avery on his hip.
"Happy birthday Stinkbug Jones," Lindsay greeted, walking over to kiss Avery's cheek.
"She's got a massive runny nose, watch out for the snot."
"Oh, poor baby. Did you get a cold, honey?"
"Mama. Ew."
"Yeah, you have snot all over your hand. You might need a bath before we leave."
"Itty?" she asked reaching up to tug on one of her red curls.
"Yeah, we can make your hair pretty. Maybe daddy can give you a bath so I can finish with the cakes."
Avery patted her belly and gave a puppy dog look while Lindsay grinned.
"Alright, breakfast then a bath. Whatever the birthday girl wants."
"I don't get it. We want to get a strike?" Colton asked, thoroughly confused. "I thought strikes were bad!"
"In baseball they're bad but in bowling, you want them. You want to knock down as many pins as you can. If you knock down all ten in one throw, that's a strike. If you get down all ten in two throws, that's a spare."
"A spare what?"
"Nothing, it's just called a spare."
Colton nodded and examined the black bowling ball while Ben tucked both hands behind his back, leaning forward and watching the people in the other lanes. Avery was standing next to the chairs, taking it all in, grumpy because she knew she wasn't going to be able to play, and she would have to sit and keep score with mama.
Finally the boys were ready to play and the bumpers came up so they wouldn't have to contend with gutter balls.
"What do we do, daddy?"
"Here, I'll show you," Adam said, taking a ball and sliding it down the lane. It turned at the last minute, just past the bumpers, completely missing any pins.
"Okay, so don't do it exactly like I did. Try to hit the pins."
Colton nodded and stepped up to the line taking a moment to choose what he was going to do before he set the ball down on the ground and pushed it as hard as it could. It rolled slowly down the lane, taking out three pins.
"What's that called, daddy?"
"That's a potential spare. That ball is going to pop back through and you get another shot."
Colton nodded and waited for the ball, grabbing it when it came up. This time he swung the ball back and forth between his legs a few times before letting it go. He managed to knock down a few more pins and was happy with his score for the moment.
Ben had been analyzing everything from the beginning and approached the line carefully, swinging and releasing the ball with precision. It rolled quickly and haphazardly, bouncing off the bumpers until it made its way unceremoniously to the end of the lane where it knocked over one pin.
"Yah!" Avery hollered, clapping her hands. "Beb!"
Ben turned and looked at her, raising one finger to his lips. She repeated his action, then looked at Lindsay, letting out a soft "shhh." Lindsay nodded and watched as Ben picked the ball up again, taking a deep breath before swinging and letting go. It was much better this time and he managed to get most of the pins down, from force rather than precision.
"Wow, nice job Ben!" Colton said with a nod. "I am gonna try your way next time. Your turn, daddy."
They continued this way for a long time, stopping twice because of tears over the score, but for the most part, by the seventh frame they'd all found their strides. Colton, however was becoming increasingly frustrated at the fact that his ball always rolled to the side. He knew it had to go straight down the middle for a strike but for some reason he just couldn't do it. After several attempts with different variables, it occurred to him that something outside his control must be making this happen. It had to be something wrong with the floor.
He got down on his hands and knees, then lay down, pressing his cheek to the slick floor, checking to see what could possibly be wrong.
"Colton Matthew, get up off the floor."
"But mama-"
"It's disgusting. Get up."
"But you're letting the baby Aves lick a seat!"
Lindsay looked down and found Avery gumming the orange plastic chair.
"Oh Averylin! That is no. Ew, ew, ewwie!"
Avery sighed and sniffled, running the back of her hand over her still runny nose and then over her nice sweater.
"Oh child," was all Lindsay could say before Avery cheered, letting go of the chair for just a moment to stand on her own. She grabbed it again quickly, not loving standing free. Sometimes she would let go of something and even try to take a step before she would remember that she was unassisted and get scared. Most of the time she figured out how to grab onto something, but occasionally they had found her standing right next to the couch crying because she didn't know what to do.
"The floor is slanted for real!" Colton said suddenly, crouched down and inspecting the floor. "It really, really is! That is why I stink at this."
"Colton, the floor's not slanted-"
"Yep it is. This is not fair! It only slants when I throw the ball!"
"Colton-"
"I don't want to play anymore!"
He stomped over to the chairs and sat down, crossing his arms over his chest while Ben bowled, getting a spare and shouting while jumping up and down.
"Mama, mama, did you see? I done got a spare! I did, I did!"
His excitement was uncharacteristic and Lindsay snickered at his uncoordinated jumping.
"Daddy did you see?"
"Yeah, I saw. I think that means you have a better score than I do now."
"That's not faaaaaair!" Colton whined. "He is littler than me and he ain't even good at sports!"
Avery side stepped over to him, holding onto the chairs until she reached him, patting his knee.
"Co. Hi."
"Hi," he responded darkly. "I bet you're better at bowlin' than I am."
"No," she said, shaking her head before smiling and half dancing to the music that was playing.
"Colton, do you want me to show you a bowling trick?" Lindsay asked, feeling bad that he was getting so frustrated.
"You know a trick mama?"
"Yeah, I do. Come here and have your turn and I'll show you."
They walked over to the line and she stood behind him, stooping down to whisper in his ear. He nodded seriously as he listened, throwing his arm out in practice. After a moment she handed him the ball and he took a deep breath, using the method she'd described to knock down six pins.
"Whoa did you see that?"
"Cole, you did that! Could get a spare now!" Ben said enthusiastically. He'd never been competitive and just enjoyed being involved rather than winning.
"I could I bet. What do you think, daddy?"
"I think you can try and see what happens."
He nodded as his ball came back up through the chute, grabbing it and walking to the line he took a second to line up the shot, then threw the ball, waiting in anticipation as it knocked down three pins, the fourth one teetering for a second before falling over. They all cheered for him and he spun around delightedly.
"Mama, can I call Isa and tell her about this?"
"Not right now sweetie. Why don't you wait until tonight and then you can tell her all about it."
"Okay. Now it's Ben's turn!"
They played the rest of the game, then ended up buying ten more frames because the boys were having so much fun. Avery on the other hand was getting cranky and discontent, rubbing her nose almost non-stop. She was in need of a nap but she didn't want to be held when there was so much going on around her. She fought out of Lindsay's arms every time, then subsequently crashed into a crying heap on the floor. She was absolutely impossible, and by the time they handed their shoes in, she was wailing and kicking her legs.
"I don't wanna sit by her in the car!" Colton said, shooting a glance at his sister. "She is being a totally naughty baby!"
"It won't be long before we get home and she can take a nap while the rest of us watch a movie."
Avery cried as she was buckled into her seat, and Ben reached over to hold her hand.
"It's okay sissy. You are just so tired. You don't wanna turn one, huh? It's okay. You can cry."
She whimpered and looked over at him and he used his sleeve to wipe her nose.
"There, that is better. Close them eyes and rest now."
She whimpered and squeezed his hand before closing her eyes and going to sleep.
"Wow Ben, you sure know how to take care of the baby Aves, huh?" Colton asked.
"Yup. She my sissy. It's my job."
It was with great joy and laughter that the kids greeted each other later that evening, as if they hadn't seen each other in several weeks instead of just a few days. Colton and Ben babbled on an on about their bowling trip, giving the other kids barely seconds to respond between sentences. Lindsay went into the kitchen, checking on the four cakes that were resting on the counter. Colton's was an Operation game board, Junior was a fireman theme, Ben's was a giant Lego, and Avery's was a muddy pasture with a fence and pink frosting pigs on it. Lindsay was pretty proud of herself for coming up with all of them and pulling it off while keeping it a secret from the kids.
"Hey Montana."
She turned around at Danny's voice, letting herself look into his eyes because she knew that she could never hide from him. They hadn't spoken since their blow out the week before and Austin had done her best to avoid the entire thing.
"Danny… um, I'm-"
"If you say you're sorry, I'm gonna be really mad at you."
"Why?"
"Someone should have said all that to me a long time ago. It wasn't because I didn't love her, but I was lazy and I didn't want to know how bad it was. I never really apologized to her for all of that until the other day and I don't think I ever would have if you hadn't said it."
"I shouldn't have said it that way, Danny. I was just mad and I hate seeing her like that and I just…"
"You were right though, okay? At first I was mad at you because I kept tellin' myself that you didn't understand how it was back then. But I guess I realized that it didn't matter. She's your best friend and you should be mad about what happened to her, and you should be mad at me for not doin' everything I could to get her out."
She stayed quiet, leaning against the counter until he walked over and hugged her tightly.
"You are about the only person in the world that could say all that to me. So thank you, because I needed to hear it."
"Swear?"
"I swear."
"You mad at me?"
"No. You just promise me that you'll always kick my butt when I need it."
"Okay."
He pressed a kiss to her forehead and stepped away, surveying the cakes.
"You did all this, Montana?"
"Yeah."
"When can we eat them?"
"Oh get out of here, you're as bad as the kids."
He laughed and left the kitchen while she took dinner out of the oven.
"Mama, can I come in there?"
"No, the cakes are out and you can't see them."
"Aw!"
"Go play, Colton."
"But mama… don't you remember when I was a cute little baby? It was seven whole years ago. Don't time just fly?"
She knew what he was doing and she chuckled, going over to the doorway, scooping him up and moving away so he couldn't see the cakes.
"I think maybe I'll do a magic spell to make you into a baby again."
"No mama!" he laughed. "I can't hug you if I'm a baby!"
"Oh alright, you can stay all grown up. But I'm still gonna smooch ya."
He giggled as she dropped kisses all over his face, then playfully pinched his side.
"I love you little man. Thanks for bein' the best first baby I ever had."
He smiled and pressed his nose to hers.
"You are so strange. I love you a lot."
She smiled and held him close for a moment, wishing she could go back in time to the first time she'd laid eyes on him. That wonderful, life changing moment. The best and most perfect things in her life had started the second he entered it and nothing had been the same since. Every day had been better than the last and she couldn't imagine what it would be like if he was any different.
"Hey mama?" he asked after a moment, lifting his head off of her shoulder.
"Yes?"
"I am real happy that I was born and that you and daddy are my parents and Ben and Aves are the other kids and I don't wanna be in any other family in the whole world, not even the Bradys."
"We get billing over Mike and Carol Brady?"
"Yup!"
"I should tell daddy, this is a monumental moment!"
"Like I said, mama, you are strange."
"I didn't know anyone could make this big of a mess with one little piece of cake," Danny said, standing on a chair to reach the cake that Avery had managed to fling onto the ceiling.
"My daughter has mad skills," Adam replied.
"The messiest kid on the planet?"
"Hey, it could be a trade someday."
Danny gave a short chuckle and stepped off the chair, carefully avoiding the frosting that Junior had spilled.
"So lemme ask you a question. Did Linds ever lay into your mom the way she laid into me?"
Adam gave a half shrug.
"She didn't tell me what you two talked about, but from what I can tell, it wasn't pretty. And I know that she keeps things as nice and pleasant as she can with my mom, so I doubt they ever had a conversation like that. Why?"
"I dunno."
Adam didn't say anything for a long time, cleaning off the table and the high chair, taking a while to figure out what he wanted to say.
"You know, sometimes I forget too."
"Forget what?"
"What happened to Lindsay. I guess I just don't see her like that, how she was back then. I think you probably don't see Austin that way either. It's easy to forget the triggers, especially when they happen so fast."
"Lindsay's got things too?"
"You notice that she never stacks the dishes?"
"What?"
"After dinner, she'll make ten or fifteen trips back and forth to get all the dishes and take them to the sink, but she won't stack them up to make less trips. Once they're in the kitchen it doesn't matter, but at the table they can't be stacked."
"Why is that?"
"Because that night in the diner, right before she got up from the table, she'd stacked her dishes up. I don't know why that particular thing gets to her, but it does. So I don't stack my dishes."
"Did she tell you that or did you notice it?"
"She told me. She doesn't know why it's like that but it is. It's an easy one to remember. But there's other things I forget. I'm not perfect. No one expects you to be either."
"Yeah, but I screwed up. I'm sure you heard."
"Lindsay ranted a little. I kind of get it though. When they're doing so good, it's harder to remember those things. And you don't want to think about it either, you just want everything to be alright. It's not a screw-up, Danny, it's a mistake. You didn't do it on purpose."
"I know that."
"Then it's time to move on. Don't do it again, but don't spend the rest of your life feeling guilty about it."
"You sound like you speak from experience."
"Kind of. I've messed up a few times, keeping things from Lindsay is usually the culprit. And I don't do it to hurt her, but it ends up hurting her anyway. The longer I feel guilty, the less inclined she is to listen when I say I'm sorry. She doesn't want some whiny kid who moans about how bad he feels for what he did. It's better to make the apologies and move on."
"Not worth the time to dwell on it, huh?"
"I don't think it is. And those two in there, I know that if I make Lindsay mad, then Austin's going to be mad, and that is a double roundhouse kick to the face that I am just not prepared enough for."
"Yeah, I'm glad we've both managed to avoid double teams from them."
"Although there was that one pick up basketball game…"
"I still have a mark from Montana elbowing me in the gut."
Adam laughed and shook his head.
"We're very lucky men, but we are also necessarily very, very brave."
"I agree with that one, cupcake. Whole heartedly."
"Kids, it's time for-" Lindsay began, then stopped as she came up the stairs into the bedroom. Adam had a son under each hand and was tickling them mercilessly while he leaned down and blew raspberries all over Avery's cheeks. The kids were all squealing with laughter and every time he would stop they would beg him for more.
"Again, daddy again!" Ben hollered, laughter tears forming behind his glasses.
"Again? Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Okay, you asked for it!"
He launched in again and Ben screamed kicking his legs against the bed in absolute glee.
"My turn daddy, my turn, tickle me!" Colton begged.
"Here it comes!"
Colton howled and tried to get away, turning it into a game of chase.
"Daddy, get mama!"
"No, I don't wanna-"
Adam ignored her, crossing the room and grabbing her around the waist just as she was about to run. One hand held her close while the other ran up and down her sides, across her stomach, up her back to her neck, then all the way down again. She struggled to get away, but with the laughing she was doing it was hard to even breathe, much less move. He moved her to the bed and playfully pushed her onto it. The kids didn't need any coaching, they all attacked her too, tickling everywhere they could reach. She tolerated it as long as she could before she begged them to stop and they all crashed down onto the bed, giggling and trying to catch their breath.
"That was fun," Colton said after a moment.
"Yes. I like the ticklin' mama the best."
"Yeah Ben, me too."
"Ticka mama!" Avery agreed, giving them a one toothed grin. She sighed and lay down, resting her head against Lindsay's chest for a moment.
"You know what I think, kids? I think sometime when he least expects it, we're going to have to launch a full blown tickle daddy attack."
"Yeah!"
"Hey, now that's not fair! You've got time to plot against me!"
"Yes we do. But for right now, it's time for three rambunctious, scrumptious children to go to bed."
"What's scrumptious?" Ben asked.
"It means delicious and irresistible."
"I are not delicious," he said, licking his arm. "I taste ewwie."
She chuckled and pulled him to her, kissing his cheek.
"Well I don't think so. I think you're delightful."
"I are a pretty awesome boy," he agreed with a nod. "Daddy tuck us in tonight?"
"I think daddy and I will both tuck you in. Come on little penguins, let's scamper."
They all went downstairs into the boys room and Ben picked a book while Lindsay got their beds ready.
"Can you and daddy read together?" Colton asked, climbing into his bed and smashing his pillow into the perfect shape.
"Sure. Should we ask daddy to do funny voices?"
"Yeah, daddy do funny voices!"
Adam chuckled as they sat down on the floor, letting Avery crawl up into bed with Ben. They cracked open the book, Bread and Jam for Frances and began to read in silly voices while the boys giggled and Avery yawned.
After one more book it was time for lights out. Adam spent a few more minutes tucking the boys in tightly and kissing them goodnight, while Lindsay took Avery into the other room, sitting down in the rocking chair to snuggle her for a little while longer.
"Oh sweet girl. I can't believe you're already a year old. I can't even think what our lives would be like without you."
"Abap," she replied sleepily.
"Yes, I am sure it would be less messy around here, but who needs a clean house all the time? Surely not me. You know something, sweetie? You're absolutely perfect. I love you with all my heart and nothing will ever change that. I will always be here for you. I might make mistakes, honey but it's because of me, not you. And I hope that you'll be able to forgive me for that."
"Mama."
"Happy birthday my love," she whispered, standing up from the chair, feeling as if it was her very last moment that she would be a mama to a baby. It was so much harder than it had been with the boys and she felt the tears coming to the back of her eyes.
"Sleep good darling."
She settled Avery safely into the crib then sat back down in the chair. She would only stay a few minutes. Just a few.