This chapter has references to miscarriage, so please proceed with caution.

Chapter Nineteen: What Once Was and What Could Have Been

Derek had one, clear, horrible memory about the day of the fire. It was something tucked very far back in his mind, something he felt had healed over. But he never truly forgot the feeling he had that day. He had never felt so helpless, so afraid, not even when Paige died, because that was different. It was family.

And now, he couldn't help but feel the same feeling as he sat in the empty halls of the hospital. He felt cold and he had been staring at the same spot on the floor for hours.

Once again, the situation was different. It was Lyra.

Her ability to withstand pain was something he had always noticed. Even when they fought the Alpha Pack and Jennifer, he had only heard her whimper once, when that handprint had been left on her chest by Jennifer's magic.

But this was different. This wasn't just a wound you could clean out and wrap up. This was real and it hurt in a way that she hadn't been hurt, not even when she lost her own family. There was something deeper, more intimate about this.

And he feared it would destroy her in ways that he thought she would never heal from. That thought clawed at his throat, and tears stung his eyes.

How did this happen? Why did this happen?

One moment it was keeping her safe and listening to a heartbeat, and the next, it was blood, so much blood, and a gentle hand on his shoulder from Melissa telling him Lyra was going to be okay, but...

But.

There wouldn't be any more heartbeats to listen to.

Another soft hand touched his shoulder. Derek looked up, and wasn't sure if he felt more surprised or relieved when he saw Abby standing in front of him.

"I got a call the second the house was broken into," she whispered, sitting down next to him. Dark circles framed her red rimmed eyes.

Then he saw the others, lingering further down the hallway, clustered together.

Derek met Abby's gaze. "Lyra..."

Abby nodded, her own eyes glistening. "I know... I know."

And with that he rested his head against her shoulder, and she took his hands, and they leaned on each other, holding each other up.

Ooo0ooO

It wasn't very often that Melissa found herself unable to say something comforting to someone in a hospital. It was part of her job after all.

But this...

She watched from the doorway as Lyra sat silently, completely still, in her bed, staring out the window with dark, expressionless eyes.

"How is she?" Stiles asked as he approached her.

Melissa shook her head. Then she turned when she felt someone touched her arm briefly. She smiled softly when she saw Isaac step into the room.

Only then did Lyra's gaze shift. When she saw Isaac, she watched as he moved to her side, sitting on the chair next to the bed.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Hi," Lyra whispered back.

Melissa looked at Stiles, then moved her head in Derek's direction, where he was still sitting with Abby. Stiles nodded in understanding, and went to get him.

Derek went into the room, followed by Abby, and Lyra was still quiet. After some time, Isaac suggested to Derek to leave the sisters alone for some time. So they took the seats right outside the door, both of them leaning back against the wall heavily.

Then the first sob came, sharp and deep, more as Lyra desperately cringed to her sister, who cradled her gently against her chest.

Derek lowered his face into his hands, and everyone else exchanged a sorrowful look.

Ooo0ooO

"Derek. Derek!"

Derek's eyes snapped open. His brow furrowed when he saw Scott standing in front of him, looking pale and panicked.

He had been waiting outside when Abby had sat in the room with Lyra. Had he fallen asleep? When he shifted in his seat, he winced when he felt how sore his neck was.

"Scott? What is it?"

"It's Lyra. She's... she's gone."

Derek felt the blood drain from his face. He stood up and saw the empty room, the messy sheets. He turned back to Scott, his eyes flashing gold with distress. "Where is she? When did you realize she was gone? How long was I out?"

"I don't know. I went to get coffee for Abby while she stepped out to use the restroom and everyone else was in the waiting room and didn't see or hear anything and you were only out for thirty minutes-,"

But Scott didn't finish his long sentence before Derek took off, sprinting down the hallway.

Suddenly Abby was next to Scott. "Lyra-,"

"I know, Derek-,"

"We have to find her."

With a nod, they took off to get the others.

Ooo0ooO

Each hour that passed felt like ten to Derek.

Everyone has gathered together at the Hale house, from Abby and Isaac, to everyone in the Triskelion Pack, as well as the Argents, Lydia, Stiles, Deaton, and Melissa. Everyone didn't ask any questions except, "What can I do to help?".

So they split up, taking different sections of the town in small search parties. They looked at the cottage, Derek's old loft, the mill. Others went to the school, and Derek went with Scott and the Argents to the reserve.

Derek tilted his head when a howl sounded from the outskirts of town. "She's not at the peak," he told the others, even though Scott would have recognized Abby's message.

Chris, who had been the picture of stoicism the entire night, rested a hand on Derek's shoulder. "We'll find her, Derek."

Suddenly, lightning flashed across the sky, followed by the rumble of thunder. Rain began falling, slowly at first, then in thick, heavy sheets.

"Come on, let's go!" Scott called out, his dark hair plastered to his face.

Derek took off after the young Alpha, while the once werewolf Hunters began tracking.

Scott moved quickly through the woods. Although he might not have the experience with tracking like the Argents, or even Derek, he trusted his instincts. He stopped when he reached the area where Deucalion had taken him, and looked around.

The rain made it nearly impossible to see, even with his red eyes. He couldn't pick up on any heat signals except for Derek, who had taken a different path than he had. Then he remembered something Chris had told them, to use their other senses. He also remembered what Abby had told him long before he had become an Alpha himself.

"When you're a part of a Pack, you are a part of something more than a group of wolves. You're a part of each other. In some way, you're all connected."

Scott scanned the area again. He listened, listening past the rain, the thunder, and the lightning. He inhaled deeply, and looked past the smell of dirt, trees.

Lyra, he thought. Where are you?

And there it was, the slightest trail of scent. It smelled like wildflowers and wolf, covered in mud and old blood.

Without another thought, he took off.

If he hadn't had his heat sensitive eyes, Scott might have sprinted right past her. But he found her, curled tight under a tall tree, soaked to the skin, covered in dirt and debris, wearing her torn hospital gown with bare feet.

Her skin was colorless, her hair a dull, wet gold color. When her gaze lifted, her eyes were just as dull, nearly black, and didn't blink or react when they met his.

Scott approached her slowly, unsure if she would take off again. Instinct told him to go slowly. He knelt down when he got within ten feet of her, his gaze never leaving hers.

Lyra then whimpered, curling more tightly into herself. She shivered and her eyes flashed red suddenly, and she snarled in warning.

Scott froze. He lifted his hands. "Lyra?" he called softly.

Another whimper emitted from her, from deep within her chest. The next one sounded more like a sob, as though her wolf was trying to take control, but no part of her was in control right now.

"Lyra, it's me. I'm here," he said gently. He didn't move closer, but instead offered her his hand.

Lyra pressed herself against the tree, as if to put more space between him and her. "No, no. No, I can't... I... I..."

Scott inched forward, brushing his fingertips against hers.

Lyra flinched, pulling her hand away. She buried her face into her knees. She whimpered again, her hands digging into the ground, her fingers scratching furrows into the dirt.

"Lyra, I know whatever I say won't be enough... But you have to know, we love you. Derek loves you, everyone out there looking for you loves you. We can get through this-,"

"No!" she screamed, her eyes changing to red again. "I can't! I... I lost the baby! I lost... I..." She broke off on a sob. Her mouth opened, but her scream was silent. Her body trembled and shook. "I need Derek. I need..."

Scott felt his skin prickle and he sensed someone behind him. When he looked, he saw Derek was next to him. Derek moved forward, calling out her name softly, opening his arms for her.

When she saw him, Lyra flung herself into Derek's embrace. She buried her face into his neck, screaming and sobbing. She clung to him like she would fall apart if she didn't.

Scott moved away from them, and felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked over at Stiles, who stood behind him with the others. They all looked towards Lyra, and shivered at the sound of her muffled screams.

The sound echoed through the forests, only to be drowned out whenever the lighting crashed and the thunder growled.

Ooo0ooO

The Hale house was more crowded than ever for the next week. It seemed that none of the wolves or friends wanted to stray far, from Lyra or each other. Some could say it was instinct, when a member of the pack was injured, the others came together to help. But it was more than that, it was because they were family.

From the wolves to the Hunters to the humans, they all gathered in and took comfort in each other. And even though they didn't know, their presence was sensed by Lyra, who hadn't left the room she shared with Derek, and part of her was also comforted by it.

The only people allowed to see her right now was Derek, Deaton, and Abby. Isaac and Scott were called in after a few days, then by the start of the second week the others trickled in as well.

Lyra felt like a part of her had shattered, like a vase. She wondered if she would be able to pick up the pieces, so to speak, and glue herself back together again.

But late at night, when she would wake up screaming, doubt ate away at her. Grief tore at her, ripping up her throat, tearing in her chest. Comfort was found in Derek's arms, and they ached together, separately and as one. And every night, the others sat downstairs, some of their eyes flashing a different color at the sound of the Alpha's distress, while others gazes filled with tears.

When the second week ended, only a few remained at the house. Abby and Isaac stayed close, staying in the guest rooms, and curled up on the sofas downstairs were Stiles and Scott.

One night, Lyra walked downstairs after leaving Derek asleep in their bed. She paused when she saw the two boys on the couches, snoring with limbs dangling over the edges. A small smile crept across her features, the first one in weeks.

When she got some water and made her way back upstairs, Derek was awake when she crept back into the room. He was gazing outside, at the moon which sat in the sky, half full.

Lyra slipped back into the warm covers and pressed herself into his side.

Derek sighed and pressed his cheek against her hair, inhaling her scent deeply.

And they laid there in silence, her arms wrapped around him, and his fingers playing with the ends of her hair.

Ooo0ooO

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf.

Author's Note: Remember, if you're going through hell... keep going.

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