Lindsay wasn't sure if knowing that Adam's father had Colton made her feel better or worse. On the one hand there was a lot more to go on, the motivation was quite obvious, and she was certain that Colton wasn't in mortal danger. On the other hand, she didn't know if Tim had taken him for the long term as an act of revenge, or if it was for the short term, as a cry for attention. He was under a lot of stress now, she was sure, and with his history, he was very likely to lash out. She prayed that he wouldn't take it out on Colton, for if he did, she would have to kill the man with her bare hands.

Adam sat quietly beside her, cracking his knuckles over and over again. She could tell he felt guilty and for a moment she was able to channel her anger and fear into helping him. He had to see that this wasn't his fault. Gently, she rested her hand against his, willing him to stop his actions and look at her.

"We'll find him," she whispered. He nodded and squeezed her hand, hoping for sooner rather than later. He knew of the absolute terror his father could inflict and he couldn't imagine his son going through something so horrible. His stomach was in knots and he wanted to vomit at the thought of it all, but he knew he had to hold it together. Right at this moment, he needed to call his brother to see if he knew of their father's whereabouts. Carefully he stood up from the couch and grabbed the phone, letting Mac know what he was doing.

"Indy?" Isa said, her throat scratchy from crying. "That man was Adam's daddy? But that means he's Colt's grandpa! And Colt says his grandpa is nice!"

"It's hard to explain, sweetie. Colton's grandpa Dave is Adam's step-dad. The man that you saw is Adam's real father, but he is a very, very mean man."

"Mean how, Indy?"

Lindsay sighed, not sure how to explain it, not even sure if she should. It wasn't something a little girl needed to hear, but at the same time, she knew she couldn't lie about it either.

"He was… he used to hurt Adam. When he was a little boy."

"You mean like he spanked him?"

"No. He would hurt him a lot, honey."

"Like punching?"

"Sometimes punching. Sometimes worse than that."

"But why?"

"There are some people in this world that don't think that's wrong, Isa."

"But… why? It's not right! A grown up cannot hit a little kid! It's so wrong!"

"I know, honey."

"What happened to Adam?"

"Well eventually he and his mom left and never looked back. But his father says he's sorry and he wants to be part of Adam's life again."

"I would not forgive him. What he did was too bad."

"I know."

Isa sniffled again and took a deep breath.

"If that guy took Colt, can't we just go to his house and get Colt back?"

"We have to find him, sweetie. We don't know where he lives, but now that we know who has Colton we know better where we should look."

"I'm still really scared, Indy."

"I am too, baby."

The front door opened again and Isa jumped slightly, then breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Austin and Danny. They both rushed to her, checking her over to make sure she was okay and she assured them that her wrist only hurt a little. Danny left after a moment, meeting up with Mac to get briefed and told where he was needed. Austin sat down on the couch and took Isa's hand, looking at the swollen wrist.

"Ow ma, that hurts!"

"Sweetie, I think we need to have a doctor look at that."

"No! No! I need to stay here with Indy!"

"Baby-"

"No! The man will come back for me!"

"No he won't," Lindsay assured, rocking her a little. "He won't come for you, Isa. You're just fine."

"I need my Colt," she answered with a sob. "I am not brave without Colt."

"Isa, you listen to me," Lindsay said firmly, shutting her mind off for just a moment to what was going on and focusing on setting Isa straight. "You are brave, sweetie. With or without Colton, you are very, very brave."

"But I didn't hold on tight enough! I let him go!"

"Nothing that happened is your fault. If you weren't there honey, we wouldn't know who has him."

"I just miss him," she sniffled, rubbing at her eyes with her good hand. "And my wrist hurts. And I'm scared."

"I know, Isa. It's okay to be scared. I'm scared too."

"Ma, are you scared?"

"I'm really scared, honey. Even though I am sure he'll be home soon, I'm still scared for him. Part of being brave is being scared."

"That's what Ben telled us about his scary dreams. That if there was nothing to be scared of there would be nothin' to be brave for."

"Yeah, that's right."

Isa sighed and snuggled closer to Lindsay, feeling like she just needed to get warm and close her eyes for a while.

"I'm going to go check on the kids," Austin said, turning her attention to Lindsay. "You need anything?"

"Could you talk to Mac? I need to know what's going on."

"Of course. I'll be right back."

She moved off the couch and went upstairs and Isa sat up a little in Lindsay's lap.

"Me and Colt was talkin' about our fort," she said. "He said he gots a shoebox that we could use for the chimney. I said we should not have windows and then we could make it super dark in there and we could take our glowsticks inside. And he said that is a good idea and that I am smart. And he said that we could use his glowy stars in there too. And I said that I am glad me and him are a team. And then the truck came. And the man took my Colt away. And now I am really afraid."

Lindsay nodded and held her tighter, having never before felt so helplessly lost for words.

At times it felt like everything was moving too fast, but in the next moment it felt excruciatingly slow. Lindsay wanted to jump up off the couch and hit the streets and just look for her son because she felt as if sitting here was doing nothing. Another part of her wanted to stay here, to flip on all the lights in the house, to make food and clean and do laundry because Colton would need a nice, happy, warm house to come home to. The battle inside caused her to stay where she was, on the couch, staring blankly into space.

Adam's brother had come over earlier and was racking his brain, trying to come up with places his father could be. Up until recently, the elder Ross had been living in the city, but he had moved, it was just unclear where to. They had leads in Jersey and Pennsylvania, but nothing was certain. They couldn't even say that he'd taken Colton back to his house. There was an Amber Alert out as well, but only a handful of calls on that, saying that the truck was parked in an abandoned lot. They'd tracked the car down and found that it was rented to Adam's father, but with only a P.O Box on the address line. This wasn't some crime of opportunity; he hadn't been following them just to see them and feel like he was a part of their lives. No, he'd planned this. He'd planned this so well, watched so closely that he swooped in at that precise moment, when Lindsay had been just a little late and the bus had been just a little early and everything else aligned for him to execute his plan perfectly.

The thought of him watching them for so long made her shiver. How long had it been? Since that day at the coffee shop? Longer than that? She wondered if there had ever been close calls before, moments when he could have snatched one of the kids from her while they were all out together, or nights when he'd peeked into their windows, waiting until they were asleep upstairs, away from the kids. The thought of it terrified her and she pulled her legs up onto the couch, shivering as if he was watching her now.

"Hey Lin," Austin said softly, sitting down next to her on the couch and handing her a cup of tea. "Where's your mind?"

"I don't know."

"I put the kids to bed. Avery went right to sleep, but I had to stay up there and rock Ben for a while. He's really upset."

"He's going to have nightmares tonight. I know he is. Bad ones. I don't know if I can handle it."

"I can stay if you want me to. I'll stay in Colton's bed and I'll be there if Ben wakes up in the night."

"But don't you need to go home?"

"No. Danny already took the kids and I'm sure they'll be asleep soon."

"Okay. How's Isa's wrist?"

"It's sprained. Hawkes put a brace on it. It looks pretty cute."

Lindsay managed a flicker of a half smile and wrapped her hands around the warm mug, breathing deeply.

"Aust… what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, Lin. You and Adam both need some sleep. Some food would be a good idea too."

"I can't sleep, Austin. How could I, knowing he's out there?"

"I don't make the rules. I just know that if you stop eating and stop sleeping and start subsisting on just coffee, you're going to become more of a hindrance than a help. You have to take care of yourself so you can be strong for Ben and Avery too."

"I know. I just don't know if I can do that."

"You can. You've always been able to pull yourself up by the bootstraps before."

Lindsay sighed and rested her head on Austin's shoulder, her mind telling her to get up and do something, but her body refusing to move.

"I just want him back," she whispered.

"I know."

She started to cry again, her chest tight and her hands shaking. It came in waves like this, times of numbness, times of crying, times of frantic movement. It was like she didn't know how to compartmentalize in these moments and everything came with more ferocity when she didn't know what to expect.

"Lindsay, you're going to hyperventilate. You need to breathe."

"Can't."

"Yes you can. Linds, he's going to be fine. We're going to bring him home. You need to breathe and then you need to go upstairs and sleep. Trust Mac, trust everyone else to work through the night and then in the morning you'll be refreshed and have a clearer mind and you can help more."

"He must be so scared. He has no idea what's going on."

"You guys haven't ever told him, have you?"

"No. We want to and we know that we should, it's just hard to know when the time is right for that. You understand."

"Yeah."

"I wish I would have been paying more attention. If I had left the house one minute sooner, this wouldn't be happening. If I met them at the bus stop every day instead of around the corner, this wouldn't have happened."

"Lindsay, it's not your fault."

"Yes it is! If I had been doing what I should have been doing I would have been there in time and this wouldn't have happened. Colton would be here right now, with us. Isa wouldn't be hurt and scared, Adam wouldn't be feeling guilty and everything would be fine!"

"Lindsay, stop it. You can't do this to yourself. You have to be strong right now. When he comes home and this is all over, then you can beat yourself up and feel awful, but right now you cannot do that. Do you hear me?"

"It's easy for you to say that, Austin. It's not your kid out there all alone and scared and hurt and in danger. You can't tell me how to act or how to feel right now because you don't know!"

"Lindsay-"

"Stop it, Austin. Just leave me alone."

She sprang up from the couch and went into the kitchen, gripping the counter and breathing deeply. She couldn't function right now, she couldn't talk about this, she couldn't figure out what she was supposed to be doing or feeling and she couldn't concentrate on watching her words and actions right now. She was vulnerable and scared and confused and she just couldn't be anything other than that right now.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there but after a while she raised her head and walked over to the kitchen window, staring out into the darkening night and imagining Colton playing in the side yard in the dirt like he loved to do. He would have bare feet and no shirt and he would look up at her and wave, then point to his mud creation with a big smile on his face. Once it got dark he would come inside, hugging her around the waist and telling her about what he'd been playing outside and she would kiss the top of his head even though he was dirty, and she would look into his big brown eyes and be thankful for her sweet boy who was still little enough to hug his mama.

She closed her eyes and her shoulders shook with silent sobs as the gravity of the situation hit her once again. Shaking knees threatened to draw her to the ground but after mere seconds Adam's arms were around her, and they both sunk slowly to the floor, unable to be strong for just themselves, much less for each other. She buried herself in him finding small comfort in the fact that the tears that were running down her face were being joined by his and his body was shaking just as much as hers was.

She grabbed at his shirt and held on, her knuckles going white with the desperation, but her heart feeling like if she didn't hold onto him, she wouldn't make it.

"I'm sorry, Linds. I'm so sorry," Adam choked out, leaning down so only she could hear him.

"It's not your fault," she answered, shaking her head. "It's my fault."

"No."

"I want him back," she sobbed almost wishing the floor would open up and devour her.

"He'll be back."

"He's my baby."

"I know. I know. We'll find him."

"Adam, I can't do this. I can't."

"I can't either," he admitted, reaching up to wipe her tears away. "But we have to, honey. We can't fall apart or he won't have anything comforting to come home to."

"What do we do?" she asked, her head dropping to her hands.

"I don't know, Linds. I don't know."

"Stella?"

"Austin? It's late. Is everything okay?"

Austin lowered herself down to sit on the back porch, her heart seemingly breaking with every beat. She pulled her legs up to her chest and took a deep breath before she started.

"Colton's missing."

"What?"

"Adam's father took him and we can't find him. Everyone is falling apart."

"Slow down and tell me what happened."

Austin stumbled through the events of the last several hours stopping several times to catch her breath lest she burst into tears.

"What if we don't find him, Stella? What if he never comes home?"

"Austin, don't you dare say that. Don't. He will be home. Nothing is going to happen to him.

"I don't know if I've ever been this scared before."

"That's okay. You're allowed to be scared."

"We need you, Stell."

"I'll be there."

"What do I do right now?"

"The same thing you always do. Be there for them. Cry when you need to. Be patient with Lindsay because she's going to explode at you because you're the only one that can take it and you're the only one that's not going to run from it. Talk to Adam because you're the only one that comes close to understanding how he's feeling. Make sure they eat and sleep."

"I will. I just can't stop thinking about Colton and where he is. All the things he might be going through. What if he's hurt? He's just a little boy. He shouldn't have to know this kind of evil. And I keep thinking about Isa and what if my father had taken her and disappeared. I can't even think about it. I don't know how I would react. I would be frantic and panicked and I can't even image what it would be like. I close my eyes and I see Colton crying and hurt and scared and I need to go and save him Stell, but I don't know how. I just don't. I don't even know where to start. And this is my job. This is what I do. And I'm so lost. I'm helpless. I can't just go out and find him and bring him home. He doesn't belong out there. He belongs here, at home with his family, tucked into his bed all nice and safe, not out there somewhere with someone he doesn't know, someone who's going to hurt him so badly."

She didn't realize until then how hard she was crying and she sucked in a deep breath, trying to slow it down to a more normal rate while Stella spoke.

"I don't have any answers, honey and I can't do anything to fix this or make you feel better. All I know is that sitting outside by yourself is not working for you right now. You need to go back in there and jump in and do something or you're going to drive yourself crazy. Understand?"

"What do I do?"

"First you need to take care of Lindsay. She's emotionally spent and you and I both know what happens when she gets like that. Make sure she doesn't spin out of control. Make sure she sleeps. That's your first job, and then you can move on to the next thing, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I love you, Stella."

"I love you too. Get inside, sweetie."

Austin shut the phone off and stood up, walking back into the house. She went into the dining room first where Mac and Adam were deep in conversation, obviously trying to get as much background on Adam's father as they could. Lindsay was sitting at the table too, staring at her hands and breathing slowly, having slipped back into her state of silence.

"Hey Lin," Austin whispered, crouching down next to her. "Why don't you come with me to check on Ben and Avery? Then you can go to bed."

"I can't."

"Maybe not, but you're going to. C'mon."

She took Lindsay's hand and pulled her out of the chair, exchanging a look with Adam, who just nodded, knowing that Lindsay didn't need to hear brainstorming information right now, because it would just give her more scenarios to entertain. Slowly they made their way to the stairs and up, not a word passing between them. They peeked in on Ben first, finding him still tucked in tightly, his arms full of his favorite stuffed animals and blankets, and using Colton's sock monkey for a pillow. Lindsay knelt down next to his bed, wanting to pull him into her arms and hold him for a long time, but knowing that he needed as much sleep as he could get. Instead, she brushed his hair back and kissed his round cheek, taking a moment to whisper reassuring words to him before she stood up and walked across the hall to Avery's room.

The baby was sleeping peacefully and Lindsay just stared at her for a few minutes, trying to rid her mind of everything for just a brief moment so she could find some peace to sort everything out. All she wanted was her son home and safe. She didn't much care about anything else in the world but her little boy. Austin stood next to her for a while, then gently pulled her away from the crib and out into the hallway.

"You need sleep, Linds."

"I know."

"Do you want to take a sleeping pill?"

"No, but I'm not going to sleep if I don't."

"Go upstairs and change and I'll find one of those herbal ones, okay?"

Lindsay nodded and went upstairs while Austin made her way into the bathroom, finding the small bottle of pills in the medicine cabinet. She checked the dosage then filled a glass with water and took it upstairs. Lindsay was pacing across the room and Austin pulled the covers back on the bed, then pointed at it until Lindsay sat down.

"Here, take this. The bottle says it's a half hour before it works."

"Okay."

Austin moved to the stereo and turned the station to something more on the calmer side, then turned it on softly.

"Austin?"

"Yeah Lin?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I understand."

They didn't need more discussion than that and Lindsay sniffled, taking a small picture off the nightstand.

"He's such a good big brother," she mused, tracing over the image. Austin leaned over and looked at it, finding a recent photo of all three kids walking away from the camera, the boys holding Avery's hands and walking at her pace. It was something she'd seen a lot in real life, but it didn't mean less now as she stared at it, the words of the song on the radio swimming through the air.

"There's a blaze of light in every word, it doesn't matter which you heard, the Holy or the broken Hallelujah. Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah."

"I feel guilty for sleeping," Lindsay said finally.

"It's okay, Lin. You need it."

"It kind of feels like when he was in the NICU. There was nothing I could really do. I had to trust everyone else to help him."

"I know."

"Can you go get Adam? I don't want to be away from him."

"Yeah. I'll be sleeping right down in the boys room if you need anything, okay? And don't worry about Ben tonight, I'll take care of him."

"Thank you, Austin."

"It's going to be okay, Lin. Colton's going to come home."