She'd lost the battle with willpower and gravity before the alarm had gone off, but she'd actually let herself feel the defeat when the sun flooded through the windows, rousing them both more awake. There was no way she was going to get out of bed this morning, and the chances of being up by noon were slim to none.

Adam moved a little beside her, sliding his arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to the back of her ear.

"New day," he whispered. She just nodded as he stroked her hair back and rubbed her shoulder, trying to channel some of his strength into her. He felt good today, like it would be over soon, like they would have Colton back before they knew it. He wanted to give her some of that hope, but he knew right now what she needed was to just be as she was.

"I'm going to go shower and get the kids up. Why don't you call your mom?"

She nodded again and he slid out of bed, handing her the cell phone and tucking her in tightly, then moving the pillows behind her so she felt secure.

"I love you, Lindsay."

"I love you too."

He kissed her once before stepping out of the room to give her a little space. She sighed and dialed the number without much thought, knowing she would talk herself out of it, given the chance.

"Hello?"

"Hi mama," she croaked, unable to distance herself by using just 'mom.'

"Hi honey. Did you just wake up?"

"Yeah."

"How are you feeling?"

"I can't get out of bed, mama. I don't even want to."

"Because he's not there."

"I feel like no matter what I do, it's the wrong thing. If I go out and look for him then I'm being reckless and I'm not taking care of Ben and Avery. If I stay here then I'm not doing all I can to bring him home. If I ask too many questions, I'm interfering with the investigation. If I stay quiet they think I don't care."

"If you were on the other side of this, what would you tell the mother?"

"I would tell her to trust me to do my job. It's easier to say that and to take on that responsibility than it is to give it over to someone else."

"I know."

"I'm so scared, mama. I just keep thinking about him and where he is and if he's hurt. He's got to be terrified out of his mind, he's got to be so confused and there's no one there to tell him that we're coming for him or anything. I mean, what if he thinks we forgot about him?"

"He won't think that, honey. He knows you love him and he knows you will do anything to get him back."

"I should have gotten to the bus stop sooner. I should have paid more attention."

"Stop that right now, Lindsay. You know that when these kinds of horrible things happen, there's not anything you can do to reverse time and go back and fix it. Kicking yourself isn't going to do anything but make you look back. You know better than anyone that looking back doesn't help."

"I know."

"Lindsay, be honest with me. Do you really think he's not coming home?"

"I know he is. He has to."

"Then you need to stop your mind every time it tells you something different."

"I had nightmares all night long. They're so much worse when it's not me getting hurt. Now it's him and I'm standing there and I can't do anything. Or it's Adam as a little boy, or it's all of them and I just stand there."

"Honey, that's not what happened. That's a nightmare. Your mind loves to torment you, it always has. You're stronger than that, and you know it. When you wake up, you have to remember that it was a dream. You have to hold onto reality because if you don't, you're going to slip into a place that I know you don't want to go."

"I need you, mama," she confessed finally, letting the tears come. "I need you here so bad."

"You do?" Anne asked, unable to keep the shock out of her voice.

"Yes, please mama. I need you."

"I'll do the best I can, sweetheart. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Please hurry."

"I will, sweetie."

"The kids are up," she said, taking a deep breath as she heard noises over the baby monitor. "I gotta go."

"Okay honey. I'll talk to you in a while and I'll look for a plane ticket. Be strong, okay?"

"I will. I love you, mama."

"I love you too, Lindsay."

They hung up the phone and she wiped her tears away, taking a few moments to catch her breath before she sat up. Ben and Avery were standing in the doorway shyly and she gave them both a little smile.

"C'mere, babies."

Ben jumped onto the bed without any other coaxing, but Avery stayed in the doorway, sucking furiously on her pacifier.

"Avery, come here sweetie. Mama's sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you last night."

She took a hesitant step forward then ran full speed at the bed, raising her arms to be lifted up.

"Good morning love. I'm sorry for last night. I made a mistake."

"You were just frustrated at sissy, huh?"

"A little, but it wasn't her fault. I'm very worried about your brother and it makes me a little on edge."

"I know what that means. When you're watching a scary movie and somethin's gonna happen and you sit on the edge of the couch."

"Yeah, something like that."

He nodded and reached over to stroke Avery's arm.

"You are not upset with mama no more, right sissy?"

She nodded and leaned sleepily against Lindsay's chest.

"Mama?" she asked quietly, the word garbled by the pacifier.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"That. Daddy."

Lindsay smiled as Avery traced over the words on her wrist.

"Yes, daddy has one too."

"What does it say, mama?" Ben asked curiously.

"It says 'I Love You.'"

"So you and daddy always 'member that you love each other?"

"Yep."

He nodded thoughtfully.

"I like that. I get bigger, I get one of them on my arm, one with a heart what says mother like we seen on the TV that time."

"Oh really?"

"Yep. For I love my mother. And on my arm for daddy gots that one on his arm."

"But you don't call me mother."

"It's more 'ficial that way."

"More official? Oh Ben, where do you come up with this stuff?"

"In my head," he replied, leaning over and hugging her tightly. "I maked you smile, mama. Austin telled me that if I could make you smile, I done my job."

"Yes, you did. Thank you, baby."

"Ah smile mama," Avery chirped, grinning widely. Lindsay chuckled and kissed her cheek as Adam came back into the room.

"Hey, what's going on in here?"

"We're just tryna make mama smile a little," Ben answered. "But soon we have to think 'bout Cole bein' still gone."

"Coley," Avery said with a nod. "Bye-bye."

"He'll come home, Tink," Adam assured. "Big brother will be home."

Lindsay managed to get out of bed after that, even making the kids a good breakfast and cleaning up the kitchen before she ran out of steam and had to curl up on the couch. Austin was there by that time and took over for her, knowing that Lindsay would never ask anyone else to do it.

Isa had joined Lindsay on the couch, getting as close as she could but not saying a word. It wasn't that her own parents couldn't make her safe or that she didn't want anyone else. It was just that she felt as if Lindsay was the only one who understood how scared she was, the only one who would just take her as she was without asking any questions. It was a bond they'd always shared, a simple and easy trust and Isa was just beginning to really understand it and realize how important it was.

"Indy?" she questioned softly, playing with the Velcro on her wrist brace.

"Yes?"

"When Colt comes back, do we treat him normal?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well when Ben got his tonsils out we had to be quiet and nice to him and not play rough because he went through a hard time. And like when Sarah or Daniel gets hurt I have to remember to have… um… compassion. Are we going to have to do that with Colt? Treat him fragile?"

Lindsay smiled and shook her head.

"I think you should treat him how you always treat him. He's going to want things to all be normal again."

"Can I give him tackle hugs?"

"Of course."

"Okay. Will he want to talk about it?"

"I don't know. But if you just let him know that you are willing to listen if he wants to talk, that will help him a lot."

Isa nodded.

"What are you going to do for him, Indy?"

"I think I'll spend a few days just hugging and kissing him until he gets sick of it."

"Wanna know a secret?"

"Sure."

"Colt telled me that he wipes off your kisses because he's a big kid, but he still wants you to kiss him anyway. He said he's his mama's boy but he doesn't want no one to know."

"I kind of suspected that."

Isa gave a half smile.

"I love you, Indy."

"I love you too, sweetie."

"Can I sleep here tonight? In your bed with you? I was having lots of bad dreams last night and I just wanted to be with you this time."

"We'll talk about it sweetie, but I think it's better for you to be at home."

"You don't want me here?"

"Of course I do. I just think that you'll sleep better in your own bed."

"Daddy's been workin' this whole time. He doesn't come home much because he's lookin' for Colt. I don't think no one else could find Colt. But my ma says that daddy and Flack have been in Jersey a lot. I said that daddy will need a long bath when he comes home to wash all the Jersey off him."

"I bet your ma was really proud of you for sayin' that."

"She laughed a lot. Is Jersey far away?"

"No, it's pretty close."

"What if Colt is not in Jersey? What if they made a mistake and he is somewhere else?"

"We don't worry about that, Isa. We just think about him coming home."

"I heard my ma and daddy talkin' a little bit last night when daddy came home for a bit and they thinked I was sleepin'."

"Oh yeah?"

"Daddy asked if you and uncle Dum were okay and ma said for now and then she said she was worried 'bout you. She said you were shuttin' down again. What does that mean?"

"It's not a big deal, sweetie."

"But ma was worried about you. I never heard her say that before."

"It's okay, Isa. I don't want you to be upset about it, okay? I'm just fine."

"But what did that mean, Indy?"

Lindsay chewed on her bottom lip as she thought about what to say. She was afraid of the same thing Austin was, but she was determined that she would overcome it before it happened this time. She just wasn't sure how to explain that to Isa if she could barely articulate it herself.

"Your ma just gets herself worried about me sometimes when she doesn't need to."

"But she said again. Did something bad happen before? And what does shuttin' down mean? I thought only robots could do that."

Lindsay smiled and twisted a lock of Isa's hair around her finger.

"Sometimes, not very often, but sometimes, I get very, very sad. It's no one's fault and there's not anything anyone can do about it. I get very sad and tired and some days I don't want to get out of bed. It's like I turn off and I don't do any of the things I'm supposed to do. And it really worries your mom because she loves me and she doesn't want me to be like that forever."

"I don't really understand."

"That's okay. I don't either. But I promise you, Isa, that's not what's happening right now. You don't need to worry about me."

"I will tell my ma not to worry about that too. But I am still gonna check on you to make sure, okay?"

"You are just like your mom sometimes, do you know that?"

"Yep. Daddy says I am all the parts of her that maked him fall in love."

"I love you, Isabeth Grace Messer."

"I love you too, my Indy."

"Okay kids, time for lunch," Jo announced, carrying several plates into the dining room and setting them on the table. "Let's try to eat our vegetables today, alright?"

"Is ketchup a vegetable?" Ben asked hopefully, dipping his chicken finger in it and making a face at the green beans.

"No, it's a fruit sauce," Jo answered, ruffling his hair.

"I not like beans of green."

"They're green French fries."

"Oh! I could eat them!" he agreed grabbing one and sliding it through his ketchup. "This not taste like a fry, Jo-Jo."

"I know. It's a green one."

"Oh, okay. Sissy, eat yours green French fries."

Avery stared at him for several minutes before squeezing the green bean she had in her hand until it gushed through her fingers.

"That was highly classy of you," Austin chuckled, reaching over and wiping her hand.

"Ahmin, kiss?"

"You're so odd," she chuckled, leaning down to kiss Avery. "And I love you very much. Now eat up."

The kids were all soon distracted by their food and Jo and Austin just played with theirs, exhausted from being everyone's support and trying to deal with their own worries at the same time. Lindsay had been thanking them over and over for all their help and Adam was constantly bringing them coffee or ice-cream or anything else he could think of to let them know that he appreciated all they were doing for them.

"Hey ma, do I gotta eat them French fries too?" Junior asked, pointing at his plate.

"You at least need to try them. Three bites."

"That's what aunt Lin always says."

"I know and she's very smart."

He sighed and broke one bean into three small pieces, then gave her a smile before eating the smallest piece.

"One bite."

"Oh Daniel," she sighed, shaking her head.

"That's my name," he replied. "Don't stretch it out!"

It was probably the stress and worry that caused Austin and Jo to burst into laughter and even though they felt guilty for it, they couldn't really stop. The kids just looked at them like they had finally cracked, then burst into laughter too because they had all learned that if you can't beat them, join them was the best course of action in situations like this.

"What are you crazies laughin' at?" Lindsay asked as she came into the room.

"Daniel said something," Sarah started with a giggle. "And ma and Jo laughed. And then we just laughed too."

"He said "that's my name, don't stretch it out!"" Austin chuckled, wiping her eyes. Lindsay giggled a little bit and leaned down to hug Junior.

"What would we do without you, Guy?"

"You would laugh at no one and Binyin wouldn't have a best friend!"

"Well I guess that settles it then," she chuckled, sitting down next to Isa.

"Mama, is Granna comin'?"

"She can't get here until Saturday, but she'll be here," Lindsay replied, her heart constricting as she thought once again about the fact that Colton might not be home by Saturday.

"Granna will make us all feel better. She make us the cowboy cookies and I will help and it will all be okay."

"I hope so," Lindsay whispered.

"Where's daddy?"

"He's taking a breather."

Ben nodded and went back to his lunch, knowing that Adam was taking more and more breathers outside, and wondering exactly why.

Austin's phone rang and she looked at the screen, then excused herself into the other room, saying it was Danny.

"What day is today?" Isa asked, taking a drink of her juice. "I don't know because I haven't been in school."

"It's Thursday."

"And Colt's been gone since Monday. That's three days now, huh?"

"Yeah, just about."

"Indy, what about our homework?"

"I think your teachers will understand that you won't have any to turn in."
"Okay."

Sarah was about to ask a question of her own when Austin came back into the room, her face flushed and her eyes wide.

"They found him."

"What? They did? Where is he?"

"Danny's got him. They're going to meet us at the station."

Lindsay stood up from the table without another word and went out to the back porch to find Adam.

"Ma, I wanna go," Isa said, sliding out of her chair. "Please, please, please, I need my Colt!"

"No, Austin, I wanna go. He is my brother!" Ben protested.

"Benjamin, I need you to stay here and take care of your sister," Lindsay placated as she and Adam came back into the room.

"But I want to see my big brother!"

"Coley!" Avery added for emphasis.

"We'll bring him home soon, honey," Lindsay assured, kneeling down to look at him. "But right now, Isa really, really needs to see him and see that he's okay."

"So she not scared of what she seen?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I stay with sissy and Dunner and Sarah and Jo-Jo."

"Thank you. We'll be back and we'll bring your big brother home to you."

He nodded and they all headed for the door together, Isa jumping down the front steps in absolute excitement that she was going to get to see her best friend. She clambered into the back of Austin's car and waved back at the kids, who were standing on the porch. Sarah had her arm around Junior, Junior had his arm around Ben, Ben was holding Avery's hand, and Avery was crying because she wasn't leaving too.

"They're bringin' him home, Binyin," Junior said as the car drove away. "They're bringin' him home!"