The characters belong to Stephanie Meyer but the story is my own.

August 1917

Charles had been drafted. I stared at the letter in my hands and felt a spark of hope begin to start again. Charles would be going to war and I would finally be free. Charles had been drafted. The abuse had only gotten worse as time went on. Last month Charles at lost his temper at me for not fixing his shirt in time and had thrown me down the stairs, breaking my arm. We had gone to the hospital and the doctor had been concerned as to how it had happened. I had explained that I had missed the first step, broken the heel off my shoe and then tumbled down the rest of the way. Charles claimed he had found me knocked out on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. My arm was still in a cast but the pain was no longer there. We had only been married for eight months but it felt like an eternity.

Mother had been angry with me any time that I tried to bring up the topic. I had gone to my priest for help and he had told me to be the good wife and go home, serve my husband and keep my head down. Everyone felt as if it was my job to control Charles's anger and stop him from hurting me. Yet nothing I did worked. I kept myself meek and quiet and always had the house in perfect condition. I had made him new shirts and pants and had sewn curtains for the living room. He had gotten me new appliances for the kitchen after in a fit of rage he had destroyed almost everything. I was finally going to be able to have a life of my own. Yet I knew that the fear that was now engrained in me was going to cripple me. Charles was a constant reminder of my failure to be a good wife.

I quickly took the letter and placed in next to the afternoon newspaper. I checked on the soup and bread, making sure that everything was going to be ready by the time he was home. I quickly checked myself to make sure that I was ready, looking as if I had been cleaning all day. The door opened and closed and a fist began to squeeze my heart.

"Esme?" I popped around the door and smiled, walking over to him.

"Sorry sweetie, I had to use the washroom. How was your day?" I grabbed his coat and briefcase, putting it away.

"Good! We got the new account and the customer is thrilled! Perhaps we can get a new couch with the bonus I will be getting." He smiled and kissed me before heading to the kitchen. I followed behind, getting his coffee before sitting down across from him.

"Esme, when did this letter come?" I watched as the color drained from his face as he stared at his future.

"With the mail this morning. I was washing the floors so only got to sort it now. Is it true?" He opened the letter, read it and then slammed his fist into the table.

"Damn it!" He took several small breaths then handed the letter to me. The pickup date was in two days and he had to report to the recruitment office by tomorrow. It was finally over. Perhaps he would even die while over seas. I stayed still, staring at the paper in my hands as Charles took his anger out on the house.

I heard him in the living room, my radio being the first thing to face his wrath. He eventually moved to the furniture, throwing everything around and yelling about unfairness and how God had abandoned him. God had never been in this house and I highly doubted he had ever had an interest in Charles. A man who was ruled by such anger and violence was not a man of any God that I knew of. I jumped when I heard glass shattering. His swearing escalated and I froze, considering leaving for a while.

"Esme! Can I have some help?" I sighed before slowly wandering down the hall. Charles was standing in the doorway holding his hand, blood slipping through his fingers.

I entered the bathroom and looked for the first aid kit. It was under the basket that used to adorn the counter holding different towels and soap. I led him to the kitchen, careful to avoid the broken mirror, never saying a word. I held his hand over the sink, taking the wounded one in mine. I then turned on the water, allowing it to wash away the extra blood. Charles gasped but I simply focused on my job. I used tweezers to pull out the glass and then sewed the larger of the cuts closed. I then wrapped his hand, after ointment had been put on the cuts. He then simply left. I heard the car start and went to the front window to watch him pull away. He was most likely going to the bar two towns over as he always did when things did not go his way. This reminded me of the time that I had skipped my period for two months, most likely due to stress. Charles had thought I was pregnant and had gone so far as to buy a crib and set it up in our bedroom. Yet the doctor simply discovered that I was missing my period, most likely due to the stress of the war or some change. We had come home and the crib had become kindle before he left to drink an entire liquor store dry. I didn't hear from him for the entire weekend. When he had returned Sunday night, he had not said a word. Simply sat down to dinner, took a shower and went to bed. The next evening, he had insisted on sex, forcing me when I fought to the point of leaving bruises on my arms and thighs. I gave in for the rest of the week and he continued to request sex, sometimes even twice a night. I guess he really wanted a child even though I hoped beyond belief that I would never bring a child into this kind of "home".

Turning around, I found my couch and chair completely upside down and the pillows ripped open. I took my time and put everything back where it belonged. I took out my sewing kit and fixed the pillows, replacing the stuffing. Then I went to the bathroom and restored everything to its original place. By the time that I had the house back in order, it was three in the morning. I slipped beneath the cold sheets, curling into a ball. I must admit that I was happy to be alone for tonight, as I would need to get used to sleeping alone and finally feeling safe enough to sleep through the night.

The alarm went off at seven, waking me from a fitful sleep. I glanced around the room to see Charles draped over the end of the bed, still in his clothes. Instead of trying to deal with him, I slipped from the bed, pulled on my dressing gown and went down to the kitchen to prepare an easy breakfast and lots of coffee. I heard his groggy footsteps pounding down that stairs shortly after eight. I had his meal ready and poured his coffee, preparing myself to face his anger, one final time. Instead, he simply sat down and ate, staring at his plate the entire time. I had already eaten so I went to pack his suitcase, afraid of every second that he was still here.

At ten, I stood at the doorway, watching Charles stand in the living room, staring at, well everything. I stood, holding his suitcase waiting for him to be ready. He eventually came over, pulling me into his arms, pressing his face into my hair. I stood still, waiting. He kissed me, several times, took the suitcase and walked out the door. He would be taking the bus as he had no need for a car where he was going. As I watched him leave, I felt a spark flicker inside me. A spark of hope for a real future, a chance to have a life and to be me. I felt a tear of joy run down my face as I closed the door on a past of hate and anger.

November 11, 1918

I awoke just before the alarm rang, the sheets soft and warm around me. I snuggled into them, taking a deep breath. The scent of fresh air still clung to them as I had hung them out to dry two days ago. I hit the alarm, stopping it after the first ding and lay staring at the ceiling. It had been over a year since Charles had left. No letters had come but I was free and happy. The vegetable garden had actually made me profit over the summer and I had used the extra to buy items to make a few things. I had knitted myself a beautiful pale blue sweater, a pink hat, scarf and glove set. I had even had enough to make myself a nice grey winter coat and two new clothing sets. I had even made one of the skirts a beautiful yellow, knowing that even though it was silly I had fallen in love with the color. In August, I made a few extra dollars and was finally able to replace my radio which gave me such joy during the darkest time of my life.

I decided to greet the day with a smile and get baking for the ladies meeting at the Church this afternoon. I had told them last week that I would make my upside down cake and chocolate chip cookies. I had discovered that I was an excellent baker and that as long as I trusted my gut, I could make up wonderful recipes on the fly. I skipped down that stairs, stepping into the living room to turn on the radio before entering the kitchen to make some breakfast. I made an entire pot of tea as I planned to have a few cups before I left for the day. As I began to hum along, a news cast came over the radio. I stopped to hear what was being said.

"Breaking news this morning America. The war is over. I repeat the war is over." No. No that couldn't be, that meant. No they were wrong. I rushed into the living room and flicked the radio off. I felt my legs begin to shake as tears ran down my face. I reached up and wiped then away angrily. I would not cry. I had heard nothing from Charles since shortly after he was deployed. He had to have died, there was no way that he had survived. Yet I couldn't shake the fear that had opened its wide jaws once again. There was a chance that Charles had survived and he was coming home, to me. I was going to die.

January 15, 1919

I stood at the train station, barely containing the shaking that was threatening to take over me entire body. Charles had been located and was returning, on the twelve o'clock train. Father had driven me and was waiting with the car while I waited for Charles. I had cried and felt every once of happiness and joy be ripped from me as reality became clear. I would always be trapped with Charles and there was nothing that I could ever do. Someday, whether it was next week or ten years down the road, Charles would kill me with his two hands. I just had to wait for death to come, wait in fear until I breathed my last breath.

The whistle of the train pulled me out of my thoughts and I glanced up to see it pulling into the station. I began taking deep breaths trying to stop myself from having a full on panic attack. I needed to appear okay and collected, excited to see my husband after so long. Yet all I felt was dreed. The train pulled to a stop and soldiers began pouring out of the cars. Women were screaming in joy as they ran into the arms of the men they had waited for so long to see. Charles disembarked and began to calling my name. I turned and saw him, he dropped his duffel bag and ran to me. I opened my arms and he picked me up, spinning me around and around.

"Oh Esme!" He simply held me and buried his face into my hair, as I felt him begin to sob. "I never thought I would see you again!"

"It's wonderful to see you as well Charles. Its been a very long year." Again the lie just slipped off my tongue, as the fear replaced the peace that I had slowly found. He went back for his bag and grabbed it, taking my hand as we walked to the car. Father embraced him, pleased to have his son in law home safely after no news for so long.

Mother had us over for dinner that night and Father spent most of the time learning about what Charles had seen. Mother pulled me aside and requested speaking to me about starting a family. She said that because the war had killed so many of our young men, I owed it to the dead to have children as soon as possible. She told me about making my husband want me and the best times to get pregnant. She recommended that I go see my doctor about being able to track my menstrual cycle down to ovulation. I simply nodded, not wanting Mother to know that I would do everything that I could to stop it from ever happening. No child should ever bear witness to the abuse that went on in the house that I was a prisoner in. Charles collected me around eight and we went home. When we arrived, Charles scooped me into his arms and carried me to the bedroom. He was incredibly passionate, and began to get rough in his desires. It had been so long since he had been with a woman that his desires were over ruling his mind. I didn't fight, rather I gave in, knowing that I would be better off. As soon as I was sure that he was finished and sound asleep, I went downstairs and used a douche, wanting to clean all the semen out of myself. He had copulated with me three times this evening so I had to be careful, very careful.

For the next year and five months, Charles looked for work but was unable to find anything more than part-time work as a manual labor worker with my Father. He was just as awful as I remember and took his frustration at the war and his lack of job, out on me. When he was home all day, he would force me into sex five or six times a day. It was almost as if he thought that a child would fix all of his problems. I decided to make a doctor's appointment to try and get a form of birth control that I could hide from Charles. I knew that if I was ever going to stand a chance of leaving him, it would only be without children. So I was going to make sure that I never had one.

On Thursday of the second week of June I got a call from the Doctors office requesting that I come in that afternoon. I was afraid that Charles had slept with some woman over sea's and had brought a disease home, giving it to me. Fear ran through me as I tried to create an explanation for Charles.

"Darling?" I walked into the living room where he was reading the news paper and searching for some more work. He looked up but never said anything. "I was wondering if I could go out? The Doctor called and said my bloodwork came back with something she wants to discuss. Its nothing bad, they assured me. It's most likely my iron, it used to fluctuate when I was a young girl."

"Sounds fair. Is the medication expensive?" He took a sip of tea and then picked up his newspaper again.

"Not at all. Thank you." I went and kissed him before leaving the house. It was not a far walk to the office so I walked, allowing myself to relax in the beautiful summer air. I had been surprised that Charles had liked the yellow skirt, encouraging me to wear it in the nicer weather. Today was one of those days. When I arrived at the office, I was immediately sent into a room and told to sit down and wait. It was only ten minutes before my Doctor came in.

"Hello Esme. Thank you for coming." He sat down and pulled out my chart, before taking off his glasses and looking at me. "I know how important knowing about your cycle has been to you so I felt that this news needed to come now. Your blood work came back positive for pregnancy."

I felt all the blood drain out of face as that word was spoken. I swallowed, and then broke out in tears. I put my face in my hands as my body was wracked with sobs. I felt the Doctor put his hand on my shoulder.

"Esme this is not the end of the world. Having a child is perfectly natural for women. I know that there is always some fear especially with the war just ending. But you are in a great place with your mother here and your husband alive. I will be with you every step of the way." I looked up as he finished speaking.

"Thank you Doctor. I just need some time. Is that all?" He nodded and led me out to the front. I grabbed my sweater and quickly left the building.

Instead of going straight home I decided to go for a walk. I needed a plan, there was no way that I could have this baby here. My Mother would never support me leaving Charles, not when she felt that it was my job to make sure Charles kept his anger in check. I definitely could not go to her with this. Ruth. She was my only chance. If I could get to her place, there was a chance that Charles would not be able to find me. I turned around and headed into the middle of town, where the only payphone existed. Ruth had written while Charles was away at war and told me that they had gotten a phone and given me her number. I had written it down and put it in my purse just in case I ever really needed to find her. I walked to the side of the main store and put a nickel in the phone. I quickly dialed the number and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hi Ruth, its Esme. I don't have long. I am coming for a visit; I can't tell you anything else but I am getting on the train tomorrow. I promise I will explain when I get there."

"Alright Esme. Get here safely okay? We will be waiting."

I hung up the phone and returned home. Charles was gone to his weekly poker game so I had a chance to pack. I knew that he would never notice a few items missing. I packed only my favorite clothes, including the violet dress. I made sure that my hidden money was also packed, as I needed something to get me there. I went to bed early, too afraid that my face would give me away if I was awake when Charles got home. I drifted off shortly after ten, knowing that tomorrow would change everything.