A/N: I told you guys it would get cheery!

It was a bright sunny morning, the beauty of it belying the day that was about to follow. Most vacations start as soon as the bags are packed and the car leaves the driveway. This one however was not going to start for several hours, as a road trip with six kids, no matter how happy and in good spirits they were, was not going to be an easy thing.

"Austin, are we absolutely insane?" Lindsay asked, checking the cooler to make sure there were enough chilled drinks to keep the kids hydrated for the eight hour trip.

"Why are you asking this? Of course we are."

Lindsay sighed and closed the cooler, glancing at her watch. They were leaving town as early as they could, she and Austin and the kids, to try and make it down to the Outer Banks before dinner time. Danny and Adam both had to work today and would be driving down the next morning. It was an eight hour trip which with the kids could easily translate into twelve. They'd rented a large ten passenger van that was big enough to accommodate the kids and all their stuff, and would guzzle gas like crazy, but was still cheaper than flying for ten people. It was brand new and managed to look like a regular minivan, but Austin had still taken to calling Lindsay Octomom.

"Okay kids, hop in," Adam said, leading the kids out the front door in a single file line. "Please keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle, lest they be shorn off by a semi."

"Adam, that was gross," Austin said, finding her sunglasses and putting them on.

"Road rules," he shrugged, lifting the kids one by one into the van so they could get into their seats. "Ben, don't push."

"Want the window seat!"

"You have the window seat," Adam noted. "And you're right by Junior so you couldn't be happier."

Ben chuckled and climbed into his seat next to Junior while Adam strapped Avery in next to Sarah. Colton and Isa were sitting in the very back seat and were already deep in discussion about something or another and would probably stay that way for most of the trip.

"Now Montana, I want you to drive safe," Danny said, holding the keys just out of her reach.

"When do I not drive safe?"

"Whenever you drive us to a crime scene."

"Yeah, but I don't care about you as much as I care about them. I'll be safe."

"You swear?"

"Danny."

He handed the keys over to her and she smiled, patting his arm.

"Don't worry, okay? We'll be fine."

He nodded and crossed the driveway to Austin while Adam grabbed Lindsay and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"You promise you'll be safe?"

"Yes."

"And call when you get there?"

"Yes."

"And call when you stop for lunch?"

"Adam."

"And when you stop to stretch your legs?"

"You're pushing it, bud."

He chuckled and hugged her again.

"I'll miss you."

"Oh brother. It's only one day."

"Hey, you'll miss me too!"

"Yeah, I know. Be good and don't eat crap for dinner just because I'm not home to cook for you."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

He kissed her a few times, then pressed his nose to hers until she giggled.

"Have fun and don't go insane," he whispered. "There's earplugs in the jockey box."

"Bless you."

He kissed her again before she climbed into the van and started it. The kids waved through the windows as they backed out of the driveway and headed for the interstate, happy to be on their way. Austin fiddled with the radio until they found some acceptable music and the kids were quietly engrossed in watching the city fly by. It seemed like this might actually be a stress free road trip.

At least it seemed that way for about fifteen minutes.

"Ew!" Sarah squealed. "Averylin's picking her nose and eating it!"

"Avery, that's no," Lindsay said, glancing at her daughter in the rearview mirror.

"It's salty, huh sissy?" Ben asked, leaning forward a little.

"Your kids are disgusting," Austin chuckled, propping her feet up on the dashboard.

"Junior still gives poop reports when he goes to the bathroom."

"I never said mine weren't disgusting."

Lindsay chuckled and turned the air conditioner up higher so it would get to the kids faster and there wouldn't be any heat sickness in the backseat.

"So how are things with the trial?" Austin asked, dropping her voice so the kids couldn't hear.

"We're just waiting. He waived his right to a speedy trial."

"Obviously so you can't move on completely yet."

"Exactly. They say we might have a court date sometime in early fall, but we're not holding our breath. Colton on the other hand…"

"He told me that he's tired of waiting and he's going to write his story down so he can just give it to the court."

"This hasn't been easy on him."

"Or you."

"Let's just say we all need this vacation."

"Amen. I cannot wait for the beach."

"Me neither. I can almost smell it."

"Think of all the sun we're going to get."

"Like either one of us really needs more," Lindsay chuckled.

"No! Binyin don't take my dinosaur!"

"It's mine, Dunner!"

"I haved it first!"

"It belongs to me! See my name on it? B-E-N! Binyin!"

"You are not sharing! Aunt Lin, Binyin's not sharing!"

"Benjamin."

It was all she needed to say for Ben to hand the toy over and in a few minutes they were back to playing nicely again. Colton and Isa were giggling in the back seat and Avery and Sarah were on their way to falling asleep, and maybe, just maybe there was a chance that they would luck out and get a few good hours out of the kids.

They were just outside Trenton, New Jersey when the screaming started.

"Mama, I gotta go pee!"

"Me too, I have to use the bathroom!"

"I really gotta go ma! Can we stop driving?"

"I pee-pee!" Avery announced, clapping her hands.

"Averylin, it's not polite to 'nounce it like that."

"Okay, Sayuh."

"Mama, please, I am 'bout to burst!"

"Alright, let me find a place. Can you hold it for ten minutes?"

"Only if I can do seat dancing!"

"Go right ahead."

Colton and Isa burst into song and movement, giggling as Lindsay found an off-ramp that boasted a fast food restaurant. It was sure to have a bathroom and it was right off the freeway, and it seemed almost too good to be true.

After getting all the kids out of the car and safely herded inside, Lindsay took the girls into the bathroom and changed Avery's diaper while Austin ordered small snacks for the kids and kept her eye on the men's room door so the boys wouldn't escape.

In about twenty minutes they were all loaded up into the car again the kids happy and quiet with their snacks.

"Okay, so besides all the lifting, that wasn't so bad," Austin commented, taking a sip of the iced coffee she'd ordered.

"I feel like we're naïve if we think that this won't get worse," Lindsay chuckled.

"I dropped my snack!" Isa hollered. "Colt, gimme some of yours."

"No Isa. Mine is mine."

"But Colt! I dropped mine. Don't you love me?"

There was a long pause before he handed her the entire snack. She smiled and took half, then handed the rest back to him.

"That's love, Colt."

"Ew gross!" Lindsay and Austin mocked.

"What? We're not kissin' it's okay!" Isa defended. "You two just keep your eyes on the road."

Austin snorted and shook her head as they got back onto the freeway, heading south.

"How long 'fore we get there, mama?" Ben asked, kicking his legs gently against the seat.

"About seven more hours."

"How long we been in this car? Ten hours?"

"Just one, honey."

"We're gonna be in here forever!" Ben wailed. "This 'cation is never gonna start!"

"Ben, why don't you close your eyes and take some deep breaths, okay? We'll be there before you know it."

"I don't wanna do that, mama. You trick me to sleepin'. I wanna have music. Hyper music."

"Alright," Lindsay sighed as Austin grabbed the iPod. She knew what the kids wanted to hear and she scrolled down until she found Soulja Boy. The kids all started to dance to the old song, but they were buckled into their seats and could only do the parts with the arm movements. Snorting with laughter as she watched them, Austin pulled out her phone and took a video of it, complete with Avery laughing and clapping because she didn't know the dance but didn't want to be left out.

"I am sure they will hate me for this in a few years, but that is going on the internet."

Lindsay rolled her eyes, once again thankful that the internet was mostly just imagination when she'd been a kid.

"Oh my word, make it stop!"

"The screaming. I can't handle the screaming."

"I swear, I am going to get into a fender bender, just for one second of silence."

"I think "be quiet" has lost all meaning."

"As has "shut the choice expletive up!" I didn't know they could reach this volume."

"Linds, I think my brain melted and ran out my ears."

"Four more hours," Lindsay chanted. "Four more hours. Hey you kids don't make me come back-"

She stopped mid sentence and her eyes grew wide.

"Lin? Lindsay, you okay?"

"I just turned into my mother."

"Ouch."

"I need a second."

"Holy Moses."

"That was terrifying."

Austin gave her a half smile and rubbed at her own ears.

"How much longer did you say?"

"Four hours. Halfway."

"You know what that means? Bon Jovi."

They looked at each other for just one second before bursting into song, over the din of the kids and the sound of the road, they sang at the top of their lungs, as badly as they could.

"We've got to hold on, to what we've got! It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not. We've got each other and that's a lot. For love, we'll give it a shot. Whoa, we're halfway there, whoa-oa, livin' on a prayer, take my hand and we'll make it I swear, whoa-oa, livin' on a prayer!"

They continued through the chorus a few more times until their voices were tired and their lungs gave out and the kids had finally quieted down.

"Now," Austin started, turning around and clearing her throat. "There will be no more yelling, no more screaming, no more fighting for the rest of this trip and the rest of the week, or we're going to do that again. Louder. In public. Get it?"

"Got it," the kids all answered together.

"Good."

She turned around again and they both sighed.

"I love the sound of nothing," Lindsay commented, suddenly feeling a lot happier. "I could drive like this for hours."

"Do you want me to drive at some point?"

"If you want. Doesn't make no difference to me."

"Then I think I will pass because I don't know if I could drive the Kate Gosselin-Mobile."

Lindsay snickered and glanced back at the kids in the rearview mirror.

"Ben, you've got a funny look on your face. Are you okay?"

"Me and Dunner, we gotta pee!"

"Again?"

"We drinked lots of water! Hurry mama, 'fore it runs down my leg!"

Luckily (the first luck of the day, it would seem) they were only a mile out from a rest stop. She didn't really want to pull over there, but it was better than losing the deposit on the car because of the mess on the seat.

"Anyone else have to go?"

They all nodded and she pulled into the parking lot, finding a space that was close to the restrooms. The wind was blowing hard when they got out of the car and Sarah screamed, clutching at her pink Yankees cap.

"We're gonna blow away to Oz!" Isa shouted, jumping in the air and spinning around. "Ma, look at me, I'm a tornado!"

"If only you knew how true that statement was, Isabeth," Austin said. "Come on kids, lets go to the bathroom."

The kids all followed her while Lindsay stayed back at the van to change Avery's diaper once again.

"Mama?"

"Yes?"

"Food?"

"Yeah, I guess it's about time for lunch, even if you kids have been eating all morning. Maybe we should stay here and have a picnic in the grass."

"Food," Avery repeated happily.

"You have a one track mind, don't you my dear?"

"Ah, mama."

Chuckling, Lindsay leaned down and blew raspberries against her daughter's full cheeks. Squeals of laughter erupted and she did it a few more times before finishing up with the diaper and cleaning her hands with some sanitizer.

"There, all done. Look, the kids are coming back already."

"Hi!" Avery shouted, waving at the kids. "Food! Eat!"

"Are we gonna eat, mama?" Colton asked, looking around. "On this grass?"

"Yeah, we might as well."

"Mama! Mama! I done peed on a spider!"

"You did what?" Lindsay asked crinkling her nose in disgust.

"I done peed on a spider," Ben repeated. "He was livin' in the… um… the hangin' thing what's for your pee."

"The urinal?"

"Yup, that. And I peed on him."

"Ben, how did you reach the urinal? You're not quite tall enough are you?" Austin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope. But Dunner got on the floor like he was crawling and I standed up on his back and Cole holded onto me so I didn't fall!"

"It was teamwork, ma," Junior added proudly.

"Daniel, you were on all fours on a public bathroom floor?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you wash your hands?"

"No, I'd already peed in the regular toilet. Then this guy comed in and said "What in the blazes is you kids doin'?" so we decided to leave."

Her face one of revulsion, Austin led her son back to the bathroom to wash his hands.

"Are we gonna have a picnic Indy?" Isa asked hopefully. "I just love it out here."

"I do too."

Isa grinned and hugged her tightly around the waist for a long minute.

"Hey Indy?"

"Yes baby?"

"We have not had a snuggle in a long time. Think we could have one soon?"

Lindsay smiled and crouched down, drawing the little girl into her arms and kissing the top of her head.

"Anytime, Isa Grace."

"I love you."

"I love you more, my dear."

"Nu-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!"

They grinned together for a moment before Isa skipped off to play again. For as much noise as they all made, for the scrapes they found themselves in, for the messes left in their wake, these six kids were worth everything.

"I never thought the most awesome club I'd ever go to would be with my kids," Austin commented with a yawn as she flopped down onto the big couch in the vacation house.

Lindsay nodded her agreement as she watched the kids dance and jump around the room. They'd made it to the Outer Banks in ten hours and once the kids were out of the car and the luggage and food was inside, they'd spent twenty minutes exploring the big house, going up and down the stairs and dashing in and out of the many bedrooms. It was a much bigger space than they felt they needed, but it would probably feel small by this time tomorrow.

The kids were all in their pajamas, happy and fed and burning off a little energy before they would be tucked into bed. They'd begged to go down to the beach, but it was late and getting dark and Lindsay and Austin were not sure they could handle all the kids in a space a big as the beach, so they'd been relegated to the large living room.

Avery was nearly delirious, running into the other kids, the wall and even the coffee table once before Lindsay scooped her up and wrapped her in a soft blanket. She settled in between them, reaching up and grunting until Lindsay moved so Avery could grasp her hair. Contentedly, she ran her fingers through it as her eyes drooped further and further towards sleep.

"I think it's time for the rest of the kids to follow in her chubby footsteps," Austin noted, yawning once again.

"I think I might be asleep before I can tuck them in," Lindsay noted. "I might have highway hypnosis."

"Is that a real thing?"

"Is now."

"Okay kidlets, time to pack it in and head for the barracks."

"Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to bed we go!" Isa started with a giggle.

"With jammies on and singin' a song!" Colton finished as they marched down the hallway. All the kids were going to share one big room, and they were extremely excited about it. Colton and Isa would share one of the bunk bed sets while Ben and Junior would share the other. There was one twin sized bed between the two bunks, and Sarah and Avery would sleep there.

"We could have a night time story?" Ben asked, tipping his head to the side as Lindsay slid his glasses off and put them on the small night stand. "You and Austin could tell us one?"

"I don't know. Aust, do we know any good bedtime stories?"

"I think we know that story about the kids who talked and talked one night when they were supposed to be sleeping and they drove their mother's crazy and had to visit them in the psych ward for the rest of their lives."

"And their mothers wore matching straight jackets," Lindsay continued, kissing Ben, then standing on the side of his bed so she could lean in and kiss Junior. "And ate oatmeal and watched soap operas and painted pictures with just one color."

"And when the kids came to visit they just felt so badly for staying up and talking one measly night when they were so tired and should have gone straight to bed."

Lindsay and Austin swapped bunk beds, each kissing the kids they hadn't gotten to yet.

"And that is the story of the children that should have gone to sleep. Now what have you learned?"

"We ain't allowed to jabber all night," Colton said with a smile.

"Exactly. Now snuggle down in those beds and get some sleep."

There was rustling of blankets as they all did just that, Sarah curling around Avery protectively. There were whispered goodnights as they slipped from the room, closing the door most of the way.

"We survived," Lindsay said breathlessly as they made their way back to the couch.

"We are amazing."

"As if there was ever any question."

They crashed onto the cushions of the U shaped couch, pulling throw pillows under their heads and simply laying there for a while.

"You know what is the most awesome thing about this house?"

"Hmm?"

Lindsay reached her hand out and grabbed a small remote from the coffee table, then aimed it at the sliding glass door before pressing a button. The curtains moved back and the door opened, causing Austin to giggle in fascination.

"Meet George Jetson," she said, sitting up a little as the cool air waved lazily into the room. "This is the life."

"Ditto."

"Now if the guys were here to rub our feet…"

"Austin stop, you're making me yearn."

Austin gave a deep chuckle and rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hey Lin?"

"Yes McGruff the Crime Dog?"

"What?"

"Your voice gets deeper when you get tireder."

"That's not a word."

"I'm too tireder to care."

Austin chuckled and rubbed at her eyes.

"I love you, Lin."

"I love you too."

"I think I might just sleep on this couch all night long."

"I can't move."

They lay there quietly for a few moments until Austin rolled over again.

"We should see about doing a bonfire on the beach before we leave. The kids would love that."

"The kids would love the marshmallows."

Austin giggled.

"I'm glad they all get to be raised together. I don't think they would be as happy if they didn't have each other."

"I think the same goes for their mothers."

"Amen."

"Night, Aust."

"Night Lin."