I looked into Carlisle's eyes and felt a desire beginning to grow within me. His arms were a comfort, wrapping around my waist with ease as if they were meant to be there. I could see a hungry within his eyes, yet he was calm and gentle. We had kissed once and he was not pushing for more, knowing that I needed to move at my own pace. Taking a breath, I placed my head on his chest, enjoying the peace that I felt growing within me.
"Esme?" His voice vibrated through his chest bone and I felt myself trying to cuddle closer.
"Hmm?" I did not wish to speak because I was afraid that I would break the magic of this moment.
"Is it possible?" A small laugh escaped me as I pulled away. I reached up and took his face in my hands, wanting him to know that I was serious.
"I think it is Carlisle. I have never felt such a strong desire to be near someone before. I have found that I simply wait for you to return when you leave and I go to the rooms where your scent is strongest. I can not say that I know what is going on but I do know that there is something here and I would like to explore it with you by my side." I felt my breath catch in my throat as I spoke the last words, afraid that I had overstepped my boundaries.
"Esme Evenson, are you asking me out?" A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he tried to speak in a stern voice.
"Why yes I am." I stood on my tip toes and kissed him before slipping from his arms. With a laugh I ran towards the house and could hear Carlisle give chase. Before the house came into view I felt his arms snake around my waist, drawing me against him.
"Oh Esme, I just want to hold you forever." He kissed the back of my head before letting me go and taking my hand. I knew that Edward must have figured out our feelings by now but he had been true to his word and never spoken to either of us. I adored him for his silence and was beginning to see why Carlisle had chosen to spare his life. The love that Carlisle and Edward had developed was enviable and I hoped that someday Carlisle could learn to love me with the same vigor that he put into his love of work and Edward.
I opened the front door, which Edward had been so kind to replace, and was shocked to see a dozen roses sitting in a vase on the hallway table. I dropped Carlisle's hand and quickly picked up the note. The handwriting was beautiful and I smiled as I read Edward's note.
Dear Esme,
I approve whole heartedly and wish you and Carlisle the best. I have left for the evening so you two may talk in private.
Love, your new son,
Edward.
I felt Carlisle gently set his hand on my shoulder as I read. A light chuckle sounded behind me as Carlisle gently kissed the back of my head.
"It would seem that Edward knows more than we do." I turned to look at Carlisle as I tried to keep a straight face, hoping to admonish Carlisle for his presumptions.
"And what exactly would he know? You are a proper gentleman are you not?" I snaked away from him, squealing in delight as he gave chase. He caught me around the waist and threw me over his shoulder, as laughter erupted from both of us. With a growl, he bolted out the door and into the woods, pausing ever few moments to make sure that there were no humans near by. After several moments, he set me on my feet and spun me in circles. When I came to a stand still it was as if I was cocooned within his scent. It was the first time that I had felt safe since Charles had come into my life. Even when he was gone to war, I never felt entirely safe, always afraid that I would awaken some morning and he would be there. Now, I knew, without the words ever being spoken that Carlisle would never allow anyone to hurt me ever again. I had found a true family and the hope that I was finally where I belonged. I turned to find Carlisle watching me, waiting for some kind of reaction or word. I simply smiled and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. The wind carried the scent of a herd of deer and as soon as I caught it, I bolted towards the herd, Carlisle on my heels. I tackled the first deer and was on my second when I heard a noise, a growl behind me.
"Esme, hold your breath. NOW." I stopped drinking and snapped my mouth shut, telling my lungs to not breath. I found myself being pulled to my feet as Carlisle took my hand in his. "We need to run. Focus on me." I nodded knowing that I could not take another life. We bolted for the house and as soon as we arrived, I was shoved through the door. I took a careful sniff and when I found it was safe, gulped air into my lungs even though there was no need.
"Oh Esme I am so sorry. I am so stupid!" Carlisle punched the wall beside him and a large section of the drywall went flying into the living room.
"No! You are not stupid! People rarely come out here, you told me that. Never call yourself stupid!" I took his face between my hands and made him look into my eyes. "You are amazing Carlisle, a doctor! Vampires were made to drink human blood and here you are working in a hospital saving lives everyday instead! You are the most brilliant person I have ever met." I pressed my lips against his with great force, needing him to know that he could never, in any way, be stupid.
"Thank you. That is not entirely what I meant. I should have been more careful; the police have been alerted that he is missing. They are now searching the woods. I am afraid that we are going to have to move." I stumbled back and felt the wall of despair slam into me once again. This was not Carlisle or Edwards fault; no this was entirely mine. I had lost control and killed someone and now they, we, were threatened. I stumbled when the back of my legs hit the chair and I sat down with ease. I felt as if the wind had been knocked from my lungs. Carlisle was gone, most likely packing the house while I was frozen in a state of shock. Then the memory hit me.
I was washing Charles shirts in the kitchen. He had gone to a work dinner last night and had gotten a wine stain in his favorite. While he had been upset, he had simply asked if there was anyway that I could get the stain out. I had promised that I would try my best as I knew how much he loved this shirt. It was currently hanging to dry, the stain still in the fabric. I had tried every way that I knew to remove the stain but it would not come out. I had extra fabric of the same kind and knew that I could make him another. I just hoped that it would make him as happy as if I had gotten the stain out.
"Esme?" The front door closed gently and I heard him put away his coat and briefcase. He entered the kitchen and stopped. I continued wringing out the shirt that I was working on before I turned to greet him. He had the shirt in his hands and I swallowed, suddenly afraid for my life.
"Could you not get it out? Did you even try!" He threw the shirt at me and let out the most feral noise that I had ever heard uttered. I felt his hand wrap around my neck as he shoved me to my knees. As my head became submerged under the water, I felt the wall begin building its final sections as despair became locked within my heart.
I could not remember if he had knocked me out by keeping my head under the water but I knew that there was an evil within that man that still haunted me. I had become something that many would view as a monster but I knew that nothing within me, even the craving of human blood, could ever make me anything like Charles. I took a deep breath and made myself walk up the room that had become mine. A suitcase was laid out on the bed and I quickly folded my dresses and skirts and put them away. I grabbed my other items and snapped it shut, glancing around one last time before I grabbed the handle and headed downstairs. I placed it beside Carlisle and Edward's luggage and went to find Carlisle. He was in his office, boxing his books and articles. He did not even glance up when I walked in.
"Do you need any help?" I found myself wringing my hands, wanting to make sure that we were ready to leave as soon as Edward returned.
"I am almost done but if you would like to box the final two shelves I would not mind. I will write the proper information on the boxes when you are done." He smiled at me before moving to the next box, pen in hand. I grabbed an empty box, he must have built them from storage, and I began gently and neatly stacking the books within. I noticed that the shelf I was working on was all in Greek or Latin. I smiled, awed at the fact that Carlisle was such a smart man. It took us less than an hour to complete the office. Carlisle refused to allow me to carry any boxes downstairs and made me stay out of the manly duty. I simply shook my head and returned to the living room, knowing that there was nothing left for me to do.
"I called the library at the University and got a hold of Edward. He is going to return as soon as he can without raising suspicion." He sat on the couch next to me and took my hand within his.
"Where are we going to go?" I imagined us moving to a place that was cold and dark, perhaps the Artic.
"I am not sure right now Esme. I would like to discuss it with both you and Edward before a final decision is made. I am not the only one here with a mind able to make decisions." He smiled again and sat back, crossing his legs out of habit. "I was thinking Cleveland Ohio. They just finished building their hospital and are in need of doctors. I could work the night shift so that someone is always home with you." He turned to me, hoping for my input.
"That is awfully close to where I grew up Carlisle. I am not sure that it will be safe but I must admit that I long to be home once again." I smiled remembering the beauty that I had left behind.
"Well you are not going to be able to go outside of the house for a while darling. You need to gain strength when it comes to ignoring the call of human blood which will take time. I will also secure a house that is a distance from the town as we need the privacy. I think that perhaps for now, even if it is only for a couple of years that would be the best place for us. I shall ask Edward." I nodded and simply sat, waiting. It did not take very long before I could hear his footsteps. I stood, going to the door wanting to greet him. He flew through the door almost tripping over in surprise that it had opened before he touched the knob. I laughed, catching him and straightening him out before letting go.
"I am so sorry Edward! Are you okay?" I gently straightened his coat before stepping away.
"It's okay Esme, I am not used to having a woman in the house just yet. I should have known you would want to greet me." He smiled, giving me a quick hug before entering the living room.
"I think that is a fine plan for now. I am sure that you and I can keep Esme safe and if her family does come poking around, we can pick up and move again."
"Good, then I shall call the realtor and get us a home." Carlisle went into the kitchen and I looked at Edward, wondering why he was so agreeable to simply moving away from his life.
"Carlisle is both my father and my friend. I do not see myself apart from him and now you. There is nothing here that I can not have elsewhere. Perhaps I can even take a college course in Cleveland." He smiled before wandering outside, taking the suitcases to load the car.
Carlisle had everything arranged within an hour and we all piled into the car, ready to begin the next chapter of our new lives.