"Mornin', Montana."
"Hey, you're up early," Lindsay commented, chuckling at his bedhead that looked so much like Juniors.
"Yeah. Austin's snoring."
Lindsay chuckled and set a cup of coffee down in front of him.
"Why are you awake?" he asked, taking a swig of the too hot beverage.
"Avery. She came into our room and climbed in bed and the next thing I knew I was falling out of it."
"Well that's rough."
"Yeah, but this just means Adam gets to be the one to change her morning diaper."
"Morning diapers are the worst."
"Exactly why I scrammed out."
Danny chuckled and rubbed his eyes, looking out the window as the sun rose.
"How's Colton been doin'?"
"Pretty good. We talk about things a lot. Adam just told me that we finally have a court date, and even if Colton wants to testify they're going to do a closed door interview."
"That might be best for him."
"Yeah. We never really thought the judge would let him testify, at least not in front of everyone, and Colton's not going to be happy about it, but at least he gets to have a hand in it."
"That's one brave kid you've got there. Gets it from you."
"No, not from me."
"It took a lot of courage for you to testify, Linds. I know you weren't a kid, I know it had been a long time since it happened, but it wasn't any less scary for you."
"Yeah."
"Between you and Adam as parents, Colton's going to get through this just fine."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Want help with breakfast?"
"Nah, that's alright. I've got a rhythm. You could set the table though."
"I think not, Montana."
"Male."
He nodded and took another drink of his coffee.
"Hey could I have a drink?" Isa asked from the doorway, her long hair spilling over her shoulders as she rubbed at her eyes.
"I don't think so, spastic."
"But daddy, I like the taste of coffee!"
"No you don't. Not this kind."
"But daddy!"
"Fine, have a drink."
Grinning victoriously, she took the mug and sipped it carefully, wrinkling her nose before spitting it right back into the mug.
"Why would you drink that? It tastes like the stuff they put on the street when they're fixin' it!"
"Montana, your coffee sucks."
"It does not!"
"Indy, that stuff is so gross!" Isa protested as Danny laughingly took another drink.
"Danny, you just drank that after she spat it back in."
He shrugged.
"I've done worse."
She just laughed and turned back to the stove as the rest of the kids started to filter into the room. They sat down at the table, save for Ben who walked over and wrapped his arms around his mama, making it almost impossible for her to move.
"Honey, I'm glad you love me, but this would be easier if you would walk with me a little."
"Could you hold me?"
"Not right this second. Go get daddy and tell him to come out here and hold you."
"But I want you, mama!"
She crouched down and hugged him tightly, rubbing his back to try and help him wake up.
"Is something bothering you?"
"I not used to wakin' up in that one room. Makes me nervous."
"Do you just need a little love?"
He nodded and she held him for another moment before he pulled away.
"Feel better now. Breakfast? Are you makin' pancakes?"
"Yes. Maybe you could set the table since Danny won't do it."
"Okay mama."
There was a pitter-patter of feet and Avery appeared in the doorway in just a diaper, her curly hair sticking up on one side of her head and matted down on the other side.
"Hi!" she said, raising her arms above her head. "I Avery!"
"Yeah, we know that," Colton said, rolling his eyes. "You have a saggy diaper."
She nodded and thought hard for a moment before expertly whipping the diaper off and letting it fall to the floor.
"Eww!" the kids all squealed together while Lindsay let out a long sigh.
"Averylin Grace, how many times have we talked about not taking off your diaper?"
"Ah mama. Eww."
"Danny, can you finish breakfast so I can clothe my streaker child?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
Lindsay cleaned the dirty diaper up off the floor, then took Avery into the kids room to change her clothes.
"I can't believe you little girl," she started with a sigh. "Crazy child. I wish I could blame it on your daddy, but I know you take after me."
"Mama?"
"Yes dear?"
"Pretty."
"Who's pretty?"
"Mama!"
"Are you just trying to butter me up? It's working."
Avery smiled as the summer dress was pulled over her head.
"Side?"
"We'll go outside later. For now we need to do something about your hair. Should we go with your signature style? Or maybe a little Pebbles Flinstone action? Or maybe we can take advantage of the fact that your hair is long enough for down piggytails."
Avery nodded and sat still while Lindsay did her hair and buckled sandals onto her feet.
"There, all set."
"See?"
She really loved looking at herself in the mirror once her hair was done and she had an outfit on, and Lindsay was certain that was the only girly characteristic her daughter possessed.
"Ooh," Avery said, looking in the bathroom mirror. "This?"
"That's your normal pigtails just moved down a little."
"Oh. Avery pretty."
"Yes you are. Can I have kisses?"
"No!" she giggled, batting her eyelashes at herself in the mirror.
"Okay, time to go join the real world, chickabiddy. We don't need you having an obsession with your own reflection."
They went back into the kitchen where everyone was eating happily and there was already a syrup spill on the table.
"Daddy?"
"He's probably still in bed. You want to go get him?"
Avery nodded and ran off into the other bedroom, pushing the door open and walking over to the bed.
"Daddy? Daddy, up! Food!"
He grunted and moved a little, and she giggled, sticking her finger up his nose.
"Okay, I'm up!" he said, yawning and looking down at her with a grin.
"Avery pretty," she said softly, holding her dress out so he could see it. "See hair?"
"Yeah, mama did it different today."
She nodded seriously and tugged on his hand.
"Up, daddy. Play Avery."
"But my bed is so comfortable! I don't want to ever leave it."
She shook her head and pulled on his hand again. Laughing maniacally, he picked her up and tossed her in the air above his head, grinning when she squealed with delight. Her legs kicked in the air and she clapped her hands, her face begging him to do it again. They played like that for a while, both laughing together as he gently tossed her onto the bed and tickled her stomach.
"More daddy!"
"I can't do that. I'm exhausted. Time for me to go back to sleep."
"Daddy, food."
"Oh there's food? Well we must go and have some."
She nodded as he scooped her up and took her out into the kitchen where she announced his entrance.
"See daddy!" she hollered, raising her arms happily. "My daddy!"
"Yeah, he's pretty awesome or somethin'," Austin teased, pouring Isa a glass of milk.
"Awesome daddy," Avery repeated.
"And don't you forget it."
"Cake!" she replied, reaching for the pancake on Ben's plate.
"No! Daddy, belt her in 'afore she steals my pancakes what got blueberries in 'em!"
Adam chuckled and settled Avery into the high chair, then sat down on the other side of her.
"Bacon!" she said quite plainly, her eyes growing wide. "Bacon!"
"Okay chubs, you can have some bacon."
She ate it happily while everyone else finished up their breakfast and the rest of the kids went to get dressed.
"Well, I guess Adam can do the dishes since he was the last one up," Lindsay said quickly as she, Austin and Danny vacated the table.
Adam sighed and looked over at Avery who was happily working on a pancake.
"Your mama always makes me do the dishes. Maybe when you get older you'll be my dish washing buddy. What do you think about that?"
"Okay daddy," she agreed with a nod as he turned on the docked iPod and set it to shuffle. He stacked up the dishes and put them in the sink, then ran the hot water over them as he brought everything else to the sink. Avery watched him carefully from her chair, giggling as he half danced across the linoleum and sang along with the old song.
"Tell me why, I love you like I do. Tell me who can stop my heart as much as you. Tell me all your secrets and I'll tell you some of mine. They say nobody's perfect well that's really true this time."
Avery hollered along with him until he picked her up and danced around the kitchen with her, singing the rest of the song.
"I don't have the answers, I don't have a plan, all I have is you so darlin' help me understand. What we do- you can whisper in my ear, where we go- who knows what happens after here. Let's take each other's hands as we jump into the final frontier. Mad about you baby. Whoa, mad about you!"
Avery laughed heartily as he spun them around once more, then leaned against the counter, kissing her cheek.
"Your mama and I used to watch that show all the time when we were dating," he started, spinning one of her pigtails around his finger. "I think it helped us fall in love."
He could have construed her expression as an eye roll and a sigh, but she was about ten or eleven years too young for that, so he assumed it was approval.
"If you decide to fall in love someday, it had better be with someone that loves you as much as I love your mama."
"Mama!" Avery repeated, pointing at the doorway where Lindsay was standing watching them. She was grinning at their interaction and walked slowly to them, kissing Adam quickly.
"What's that look in your eyes, Mrs. Ross?"
"Nothin'."
"Nothin'? It's not the "I want another baby because look at what an awesome daddy you are?" I know that look pretty well babe."
"You are an awesome daddy, but that doesn't mean I want another baby. I think we would have to wait until Avery's out of the house because she is much too much work right now."
"I can agree with that."
"Avery work!"
"Yeah kid, you're a full time job."
The rest of the day was spent on the beach, running in hundreds of directions, making sand castles, splashing through the waves and picking up shells. The kids were thrilled when a group of wild horses were spotted in the tall grasses and they spent the next half hour watching them and begging to go over there and see them closer.
Lunch was eaten on the beach and Avery settled in for a nap while the rest of the kids engaged in a story telling session, which they whispered and refused to share with their parents. Around dinner time a strong wind came up, forcing them inside for the rest of the evening. It was a quick dinner of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches before Adam and Danny were ready for their surprise for the kids.
"Inside these bags are several items. There will be no fighting over any of them. You are all going to use them to make yourselves costumes."
"What kind of costumes daddy?" Colton asked curiously.
"Costumes for the fight of the century. You're going to need to come up with names for yourselves too. We'll meet you back out here in twelve minutes."
The kids grabbed the bags and scrambled into their bedroom while Austin and Lindsay raised skeptical eyebrows at their husbands.
"Hey, you were the ones that stuck us in the car together for a day. Did you really think we weren't gonna come up with something like this?"
"If there are any injuries you two will never hear the end of it."
"We figured. Here, someone needs to be the videographer and someone else can be the announcer," Danny said, handing over the video camera. Lindsay and Austin just looked at each other as the guys left the room.
"I don't know about this."
"You man the camera, I'll be the announcer," Austin offered, standing up from the couch.
"You mean you're okay with this?"
"Yeah. I'm going to turn on Jock Jams."
Lindsay considered playing the worried, cautious, thrill-killing mother for just a moment before Sarah and Isa came out of the bedroom, decked out in cheap athletic shorts, princess tiaras and visors, among other things.
"Indy, can you do my hair crazy? I want to be scary when they come out here to do battle."
"Crazy how?"
"Stickin' up everywhere."
"Okay."
"The boys is puttin' makeup on themselves," Sarah reported as Austin pulled her hair into a wild ponytail. "And they put football lines on Averylin."
"Football lines?"
"The black lines that the football men wear under their eyes!"
"Yeah Indy, she looks funny! She is wearin' a giganto shirt and a tie!"
Lindsay chuckled and fought Isa's hair into something crazy as the boys and Avery joined them. Their outfits were just as strange and Colton requested a ponytail high atop his head too because then they would not recognize him and he could get the upper hand.
"We need to make up fighter names," Isa decided after a moment. "Like Andre the Giant, only better ones."
"Yeah. Cole, you could be Cole the Constipated!"
"I'm not constipated!"
"That what they call the boss cops in jolly England!"
"You mean Constable, honey."
"Yeah, that thing what mama said!"
"No, I don't like that one. Isa, you could be Isa the Beth!"
"Or I could not," she fired back crossing her arms. "Daniel the Destructor! That's a good one!"
"Yeah!" Junior whooped, fist pumping. "I will be that Destructor. Binyin, what are you gonna be?"
"I gonna be Ben the Binyin. How about sissy, what we call her?"
"How 'bout Avery the Annihilator?" Isa suggested.
"That's good Is," Colton confirmed. "How 'bout you can be Isa the Incorrigible. That's what mama always says daddy is and it means stubborn."
"I am really stubborn!" Isa said with a happy nod. "Now we just need names for you and Sarah."
"I will be Sarah the Sly," Sarah decided. "Because no one will ever 'spect me to be such a great warrior."
"And I will be Colton the Courageous! They use that word a lot in my books."
"You kids might want to come up with a game plan," Austin chuckled, watching the excitement in their eyes.
"Mama," Avery whispered as the older kids began to come up with a strategy. "I wrestle."
"You ready for that?"
"Yep!"
"You'd better go over there and join your teammates."
She toddled over happily and Lindsay moved across the room to the fireplace where she could stand on the hearth and get a better angle on the entire match. Austin stood next to her, giggling and unsure if she could carry out her announcer duties without dying of laughter first. The kids looked so funny, dressed in clearance clothes that didn't fit, their hair messed up and their accessories useless and cheap. They certainly were a menacing bunch of ragamuffins. They stood in a huddle and put their hands in the middle as they'd seen on TV so many times.
"We got to chant somethin' like that 2, 4, 6, 8 thing," Colton said, trying to remember how it went.
"I know what you're talking about," Isa said, leading them all in a pre-game chant. "One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!"
After they had whooped and hollered their intentions of winning, Austin directed them to go into the kitchen and then come out when she called their names. Nearly trembling with excitement they obeyed her instructions and waited while she started the music and Lindsay started filming.
Using a booming voice, Austin announced all six kids, who came out of the kitchen totally pumped up and dancing to the music. They were absolutely ready for this.
"Are you ready to RUMBLE?" came two voices from the hallway. The kids turned and looked, laughing as their fathers emerged looking just has ridiculous as they did. Adam was making vicious faces and growling while he flexed his muscles, but Danny was pirouetting behind him, which was only fitting, as he was wearing a purple tutu. Adam noticed the dancing and turned to his counterpart confusedly.
"What are you doing?"
"What are you doing?" Danny countered. He had been under the impression that they were trying to be goofy.
"I can't… I don't think… there is no way I can even announce this," Austin said, unable to stop laughing at the pair of them. Besides the tutu, Danny was wearing an "I heart Nickelback" t-shirt and a pair of white jeggings, along with a blue bandana on his head. Adam looked even worse, as he was wearing a pair of hot pink capris with flowers on the hem, a jockstrap, an Arizona Cardinals t-shirt that was three sizes too small, and a red and white plastic gingham table cloth as a cape. The bandana on his head was yellow and he was wearing his sunglasses backwards. They were a lot more unsightly than the kids were and Lindsay was sure that whoever watched this video would get seasick from the way the camera was shaking due to her suppressed laughter.
The wrestling match commenced without another word as the kids rushed their dads and they all fell to the floor, pushing and tugging on each other, but mostly laughing. Avery stood off to the side, cheering and waiting for a time when she could enter the fight. It was a little too rambunctious for her at the moment, but she was happy to watch for now.
The boys all used their body weight to try and get the advantage, while Isa yelled and Sarah randomly slapped at people with a lone slipper. At one point Avery seized the moment and grabbed onto the back of the jockstrap Adam was wearing, pulling it as hard as she could and shaking it as if it were the reins on a horse while she squealed joyously.
"Ahhh, I breaked my spleen!" Ben shouted, giggling as he tumbled off Danny's back and onto the floor.
"Get up Binyin! Quit bellyachin' about your spleen! We gotta win this fight."
Valiantly, Ben stood up and went in for round two while Avery jumped onto the couch, exhausted from her efforts. Isa and Colton were working together to beat up on Danny, who was actually putting up a little bit of a fight, but getting tired when matched up against their combined energies. Ben, Junior, and Sarah were attacking Adam, mostly with couch cushions that they couldn't toss with much force. Austin's announcing had fallen by the wayside before it had really started, and once the kids started to really get tired, Lindsay shut the camera off.
"That was the most funnest thing ever," Isa decided, panting as she lay on the floor. "Can we do it again sometime?"
"Maybe a rematch before we go home."
"Who winned?" Ben asked, pulling his arms under his head and staring at the ceiling. "Or is we gonna have to ask them women folk?"
Lindsay and Austin glanced at each other for a moment, not needing to discuss their thoughts at all.
"The daddies are the winners in the costume portion of the evening," Austin started, smirking at the way Danny's tutu had ridden up.
"And the kids are the winners in the wrestling match."
"Whoo-hoo! We winned, we winned, the daddies lost and we winned!" Isa said, standing up from the floor and jumping around. "In your face suckas! We are the champions my friend!"
Growling loudly, Danny grabbed her around the waist and tossed her onto the couch, tickling her sides. Avery clapped as all the hullaballoo rocked the couch and bounced her up and down. Wanting to defend Isa, she crawled over to them and did a flying leap onto Danny's back, screaming out a babbling battle cry as she did so, holding onto his neck with one arm while the other was raised in the air in toddler victory. Adam started to make his way over to pull her away, but Colton and Ben circumvented his plan by wrestling him down to the floor.
"Free Isa! Sarah, Junior, you're her only hope!" Colton hollered. Sarah and Junior both jumped on their dad, distracting him enough that Isa managed to slip away from him. The ensuing battle was even more zealous than the first and about halfway through Lindsay and Austin were pulled into the fray.
"No, I'm not dressed for this!" Austin protested.
"Here ma, have my tiara! Now you look like one of us!" Isa said proudly, plopping the plastic toy onto Austin's head.
"Well that's good but how do you expect to keep your daddy from ticklin' me?"
"Just tickle 'im back!"
While the Messer kids helped their mother out, the Ross kids had flopped loyalties and were helping Adam hold Lindsay down on the floor and he was tickling her sides unmercifully. She squealed and tried to get away, and Avery, caught up in the fervor, leaned down and blew a raspberry on her neck.
"Ahhh!"
"Ew Aves, that was juicy!"
Avery sat back up and chortled, clapping her hands at her cleverness.
"Gotta be fair, time to get daddy!" Ben announced, changing allegiances. They muscled Adam to the floor but it wasn't long before parents turned on children again and soon after, everyone crashed into laughing heaps on the floor. Avery puttered around checked on everyone, patting their faces and making sure they were okay.
"Well kids, seems like it might be time to turn in."
"Oh, do we have to?"
"It's getting late."
"We're on vacation!" Colton and Isa protested in unison.
"That doesn't stop time. Come on kidlets, off to bed."
There was a little groaning and complaining as the kids had their faces scrubbed and their clothes changed, but by the time they hit the pillows they were yawning too much to argue anymore. They would probably chatter well into the night, but as the minutes slipped by, they would all drift off to sleep.
Leaving the door open a crack, exhausted parents made their way back to the couches, flopping down on them and not uttering a word for several minutes.
"Danny you're still wearing a tutu," Lindsay commented with a snicker.
"It fits like a dream," he said with a yawn. Austin rolled her eyes and pushed on him and he snorted and pushed her back.
"I don't know about you lunatics, but I'm going to bed," Adam announced, rubbing his eyes and standing up from the couch. "You comin' babe?"
"Yeah sure, if you carry me," she sighed, figuring all his playfulness and energy had been expended and he would refuse. He surprised her by sliding one arm behind her and the other under her knees, lifting her off the couch and heading towards their bedroom.
"You two behave in there!" Austin called after them.
"You're stealin' my thunder, Messer!" Adam called back before pushing the door shut with his foot and dropping Lindsay on the bed.
"Well that certainly set the tone for the rest of the evening."
"Wrong tone hon. I'm going straight to sleep."
She sat there with a grumpy face while he changed his clothes and slid into bed without another word.
"You're a tease, Adam Ross. A major tease."
"Mm-hmm."
She unceremoniously dropped her pillow onto his head, then stood up from the bed and changed her clothes.
"So you're really going to sleep?"
"Yup," he answered from under her pillow.
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yup, I'm sure."
"Can you look me in the face and say that?"
"Why do you think I haven't rolled back over yet?"
She chuckled and slid in behind him, making one last effort to get him to change his mind.
"Fine, we'll compromise. Let me sleep now, and you can wake me up early if you lock the door."
"Deal."
He rolled over and pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head.
"I love you."
"I love you too. I'll see you in a couple hours."
He laughed but the look on her face said she was not joking and he quieted after a moment.
"I can't believe you sometimes babe."
"Says the man who was wearing a jockstrap and a table cloth."