DragonQueen Oneshots
Realization:
It takes Regina exactly three days and a whole lot of soul searching to realize that she's attracted to Maleficent.
Attracted. Attracted!
She's completely sure and yet she keeps telling herself that it can't be. She's married. Well, she doesn't feel terribly devoted to her husband, but still…
And Maleficent is a woman.
She's not supposed to develop such feelings for another woman, is she? No. No. Maleficent is her friend. Maleficent has been nothing but kind to her. She's the first friend Regina's had in years, and here Regina is, developing feelings for her.
And those feelings scare her. This is entirely different from the feelings she had for Daniel. With Daniel, she wanted to build a life with him. She wanted to marry him, all the other things would come after that, once they were married.
This is different. This is driven by something entirely different.
With Daniel she never really had the time to listen to her body. Their kisses were rushed, hasty. Stolen moments whenever they had the chance.
But now… now she has the time to listen to her body, and her body is acting in ways, Regina had no idea were possible. It's aching to be touched by Maleficent again and again. The memory of her warm hand is forever imprinted in her mind, and Regina has to put up with waking up, bathed in sweat and gasping Maleficent's name.
Of course it's all terribly embarrassing, and it's a mere miracle that neither the king nor Snow is perceptive enough to figure out what's going on.
It's getting harder to put up a façade for Maleficent, though. She's so clever, and Regina has a hard time looking her in the eyes. Every innocent touch has Regina flinching and her breath hitching in her throat. At some point, Maleficent will look right through her façade and obviously be appalled by what's hiding behind it, so eventually, Regina stops attending the magic lessons. One time, she mumbles a vague excuse as to why she can't make the next lesson. The next time, she doesn't. She simply doesn't show up.
It's better this way, she keeps telling herself. It's for the best. It's wrong. These "feelings" she harbors for Maleficent are wrong. Maleficent is a woman, and Regina can't possibly be attracted to another woman. Maleficent is her friend. Maleficent would be enraged if she really knew what was going on inside Regina's head. Maybe she would even be serious about her threat and eat Regina.
It's better to stay away.
She manages to hold it together during the day, but the nights… the nights are difficult. For the first time in her life, Regina starts paying attention to her own body and what it does. She pays attention to the strange warmth coursing through her body whenever she's been dreaming of the blonde sorceress. And she pays attention to the unfamiliar ache between her legs that doesn't subside until very late at night. She doesn't know why, but the ache makes her more embarrassed than anything else. She feels out of control. A mess. A terrible mess.
The nights aren't just difficult. They are terrible. Regina almost misses her old nightmares. Those she understands. Those she can handle. They are familiar. This… This is so shocking, so unexpected and so very unfamiliar. She can barely look Snow in the eyes when the girl asks what's wrong with her. This… This thing is the last thing Regina needs. Snow White is already giving her some strange looks, and heaven forbids anybody else should begin to take interest in her. No. She will forcibly push this foolishness out of her head and concentrate on her magic studies and her plan to get revenge on Snow White. That is what this is all about. There's no room for distraction and that's final.
Regina awakens with a sharp gasp, and the next second she feels terribly ashamed. So ashamed her skin is prickling. She was dreaming again. Most of it is a blur, the memory slipping away like water between her hands, but she does remember the feeling of Maleficent undoing the strings on her gown, slowly kissing her back.
Regina buries her face in her hands. This is terrible. Shameful. Why does her mind keep coming up with these dreams? What business does she have dreaming about the blonde sorceress?
She wonders if there's some sort of spell she can use to control her dreams, but that would mean asking Rumplestiltskin for advice. And Regina knows that imp. God, how she knows him. He would find out the truth eventually. Regina can already hear his high pitched, devilish giggle in her head. He would undoubtedly find it amusing. And he would find some way to use it against her. Maybe he would even tell Maleficent. And that is something that can never happen.
She rubs her face harshly, stands from the bed and creaks the balcony door open. She has a vague hope that a bit of fresh air will be enough to calm her down.
It's a vain hope. Regina doesn't get much sleep that night.
And the next day isn't much better, either. Regina is groggy when she wakes up, and she only desires one thing: to be left alone.
But Snow White, the little tyrant, has other plans. She claims that it is a "wonderful day", and then she craves that Regina accompanies her on a stroll to the forest.
Regina wants to say no. Snow White is twelve years old. She's old enough to walk in the forest alone, but Regina can't say that. So instead she smiles and nods. Like she always does.
"Won't you join us, father?" Snow asks sweetly and bats her green eyes at the king.
"I'm afraid not, my dear. I'm needed here today, but I'm confident you and your stepmother will be fine on your own." The king says and gives Snow's hair a fond ruffle.
Snow giggles and Regina flashes the king a tight-lipped smile. Stepmother. The word rings in her ears. He always refers to her as that when Snow is present, and when the girl isn't, it's always "the queen" or "her majesty". He never calls her by her name. In fact, Regina is certain he has only used her first name once. When he proposed to her.
"Come, stepmother!" the girl insists, and Regina has no choice but to accompany her to the forest.
At least, Snow doesn't demand much of her as they walk side by side to the forest. The young princess talks and talks, and all Regina has to do, is nod and smile and insert a comment here and there. And while Snow flaps her gums, Regina thinks about the impossible situation she's in. She thinks about her forbidden, developing feelings for Maleficent, and she wonders what she's going to do with them. The only reasonable thing she can do of course. Bury them deep. Bury them and pray they stay buried for good.
"Stepmother? Are you even listening to me?"
Oh. She has to pretend that she's actually listening to Snow White, too.
"Yes, dear. Of course I'm listening," Regina assures.
"Good, because as I was saying…" Snow proceeds to tell Regina everything about her visit to the nearby town. The princess grabs Regina's hand as they walk, and Regina does her utmost not to flinch. A wave of irritation rises in her chest. Snow White is almost thirteen years old. She shouldn't keep insisting upon holding Regina's hand.
But Regina says none of that. Instead she smiles brightly, sweetly and falsely to the girl.
Soon they reach a lumen in the forest, and Snow express her desire to pick the Snowbells that grows nearby. It was her mother's favorite flowers, and Snow so wishes to surprise her father with a bouquet.
Flower picking for kind queen Eva it is, then.
"Of course you can pick flowers my dear," Regina smiles. "I'll stay here and wait for you. But don't go too deep into the wood. We can't have you getting lost, can we?"
Snow giggles girlishly, completely oblivious to the fact that Regina has just voiced her inner most thoughts.
Regina watches until the princess disappears behind the trees. Then the brunette sits down on a stump. She's completely dizzy due to lack of sleep and she spends a moment with her face buried in her hands. She's so tired, and she dearly hopes Johanna is prepared to entertain Snow for the rest of the day. Regina simply can't cope with anymore right now. She just wants to retire to her bedchambers with a glass of wine, no, a bottle of wine, and drink until she falls asleep. Surely no one will notice her absence. They rarely do.
Regina's head snaps up. She suddenly feels watched. But Snow White is nowhere to be seen, the girl must still be busy picking flowers. Even though she can't see anyone, Regina is certain she isn't alone anymore. She straightens her back and stretches her neck. She hears… footsteps. Soft footsteps behind the trees, footsteps there are too soft to belong to Snow White. Snow White is never walking softly. She's trampling.
Snow White doesn't have magic either, and Regina can definitely feel the magic from whoever is lurking behind those trees. And she can smell it too. Crisp and smoky like fire.
Fire. Regina knows that magic.
It doesn't take her long to put two and two together and figure out that Maleficent is lurking in the forest, watching her from somewhere behind those trees.
Maleficent. Regina panics. She does not want to speak to Maleficent. She can't. How could she, when her head keeps making up these terrible, forbidden scenarios?
"Snow!" Regina calls harshly, and for once, the girl obeys instantly. She comes running back to Regina, pink cheeked and breathless, a perfect mirror of what Regina is feeling right now.
"Yes, stepmother?" the girl asks sweetly. She has a large bouquet of snowbells in her arms.
"It's time to go home," Regina says and fixes Snow's slightly crooked cloak.
"So soon? But…"
"And we're not discussing it." Regina says firmly and brushes the girls protests aside.
Snow's bottom lip trembles a bit, and her green eyes widens. She isn't used to Regina snapping at her.
"Come on," Regina says and is careful to soften her voice. One more harsh word out of her mouth, and Snow will tell her father.
"Yes, stepmother," Snow says willingly and follows Regina back to the castle like a trusting lamb.
Regina takes the girls hand and looks straight ahead. She's certain that Maleficent is still watching her…
To Be Continued….