His toes ached in his shoes and he wiggled them back and forth, wishing that he would have picked a different pair. These were his nicest shoes and he felt very important wearing them, but they pinched his toes pretty badly. Sighing, he decided to tough it out and looked down the hallway at the door that went into the court room. His parents had been in there for a long time and with every moment, his stomach became more and more upset. He was really nervous to talk to the judge and he was afraid he would say something wrong. He was glad that Jo would be going in with him, but he knew this was the most important time to tell his story, and he was worried he might forget something.

"How are you doin' skeeter?"

He shrugged and slid his hand into hers before looking up at her seriously.

"Jo… what if I forget something?"

"You won't forget, honey."

"But what if I do?"

"That's okay. Sometimes there are things we don't remember for a long, long time. You just tell what you remember and what you felt and make sure it's the truth. Don't worry about anything else."

"You will promise to stay in the room, right?"

"Yes. I can't say anything, but I will be right there with you while you talk to the judge."

"I am glad that I don't have to talk in the court in front of everyone. I would be so nervous I would throw up."

"I know the feeling."

"Did you ever have to talk in the court?"

"Yeah, I've had to lots of times. Always when I was a lot older than you though."

"What's it like?"

"Oh, it's not too bad. As long as you're not the one in trouble."

He grinned and leaned his head against her shoulder.

"Will I feel better about everything when this is all over?"

"I think so."

"Do you think he will go to jail?"

"Yeah, he's going to be in jail for quite a while."

"I wish he could get punished for what he did to my daddy too. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I know that today is just about what he did to me, but I wish that my daddy could talk to the court about what happened when he was a little boy too. Did you know that man one time pushed my daddy down the stairs? And another time… well I don't actually like to think about my daddy gettin' hurt like that because it was a wrong thing. Did you know that Austin got hurt by her dad too? I am not supposed to tell that to the kids though. But did you know that?"

"I had an inkling."

"It's a horrible thing, huh?"

"Yes, it is."

"Do you think the bad people like being bad or do you think they don't know it's bad? Or maybe they lose control and they can't stop themselves from being bad?"

"I think it's different with every person, Colton. I think that sometimes they regret what they've done, but I am sure there are people who don't think its wrong."

"That's so sad, Jo. Why can't people just love their kids?"

"I don't think we will ever know the answer to that."

"Okay."

"You know, it's good for you to ask these questions. Even if you don't get any answers, and even if you feel like you always ask the same questions, it's okay to ask."

"It's sad to talk about, but it makes me feel better."

"I'm glad, honey."

He closed his eyes and squeezed her hand, wanting to see his daddy again for just a few minutes. He felt like they had a special connection now, one that Ben and Avery would never have. He couldn't really describe it, but it made him feel very safe and loved all the time and he knew that it was only because of the bad things that had happened, but that didn't make it any less special.

"Hello Colton. I'm Carlotta Evans. How are you doing today?"

"I'm doing just alright Your Honor," he replied, looking around the room and feeling his stomach settle a little bit. The room reminded him of the principals office at his school and he really liked his principal, so certainly this judge couldn't be bad.

"That's good. Do you know why you're here today?"

"Yes. I am here to tell the truth about what happened with that man while I was gone."

"Yeah, that's right. Before we start, do you have any questions?"

"Yes. How is it goin' out there?"

She gave him a little smile, trying to find the right words.

"It's going alright. Why don't you tell me what you remember, starting from the beginning."

He took a deep breath and looked over at Jo who gave him an encouraging smile and a wink. He was really glad she was here and he wasn't so alone.

"Well you already know how he took me right? So I will start after that. He drove me in his truck for a long time. It was smelly in there and there were cans on the floor. He told me that we was a family a lot. Then we got to a house and me and him argued for a while. Then he put me to bed and said we would talk in the morning."

"Did he hurt you that first day?"

"Just when he was taking me. But then at night I waited until he went to bed and then I tried to get away. But he heard me and he grabbed me and there was some hitting and he throwed me against the door. See how I still got that scar on my head? That's what he did."

"What happened after that?"

"He would come in and let me go to the bathroom. And he was very mad and mean. He hit my face once and he did lots of grabbing and pushing and yelling. He shaked my shoulders sometimes when I yelled back at him. You know what? One time he was yelling and he called me Adam. And that is my daddy's name. And I said that to him and he called me a really bad name and he throwed me down and said that I taked his family away from him."

He stopped talking for a moment, catching his breath and chewing on his lip. He'd forgotten about being called by his daddy's name and he wanted to ask why that had happened, but he also needed some time to work it over in his head first.

"I didn't get to eat much when I was there. Just two apples."

"Did he give you anything to drink?"

"I can't remember. Just some water I think."

"Okay. How did you feel while you were with him?"

"Scared. I thought I would never get to go home. I was mad too because he kept saying how we are a family and he was not treating me like a family should."

"How have you been since you came home?"

He sighed and looked over at Jo, wishing she could take over and answer these questions, but as he'd been told, all of it was important to tell.

"Sometimes I am sad. Sometimes I am angry. Sometimes I have bad dreams. A lot of the time I am very confused."

"What are you confused about?"

He squirmed in his seat and pulled his feet up with him, wrapping his arms around his legs tightly. He had so many questions in his head. So many things he didn't understand and so many things he understood too well and didn't want to know. His stomach lurched and his eyes burned with unshed tears and he wanted to run out of the room but one small smile and nod from Jo convinced him to stay where he was and finish this out.

"I just would like that man to go to jail for a very long time. That's all I need to say. He should not hurt no one else."

She gave him a small smile and a nod and he blinked a lot, not wanting the tears to fall in front of a stranger.

"I think I want to be done now. Can I be done? Please?"

"I think I know everything I need to know for now. Do you have any other questions?"

He shook his head violently and she reached over to pat his hand.

"Thank you for your help, Colton."

"You're welcome," he managed to squeak out before they all stood up and he and Jo were dismissed from the room. They walked down the hallway to the bench they'd been sitting on before and she kept her arm around his shoulders while they sat down.

"Colton?"

"Yes?"

She turned to face him, tipping his chin up and catching his big brown eyes with her own.

"I am very, very proud of you. You are so brave and you are a good man."

She hugged him as tightly as she could and he held on, playing her words over in his head. She'd called him a good man. That's always what mama said about daddy. It made his chest feel big and he couldn't stop the smile coming across his face. Jo didn't have to say anything nice to him, she'd just done it because she wanted to and she felt like it was the truth. She didn't say it to make him feel good, she said it because she believed it. And if Jo believed he was a good man, then he really must be.

"Thanks for sayin' that, Jo."

"You're welcome. I love you."

"I love you too. When are mama and daddy gonna come out here?"

"I don't know, sweetie. Would you like to go with me to get some lunch?"

"I'd like that a lot."

Adam didn't know that he was going to feel so relaxed and at peace all morning as they sat through the hours of testimony, just to get to the sentencing portion. He thought he would be antsy, waiting to be disappointed or angry. But it turned out that he felt completely content no matter what the sentence was. His father would be going to jail, there was no question about that. It was just a matter of how long at this point. They'd already proven him guilty of the child endangerment and neglect that he'd plead innocent to and the judge had decided to push on through and do sentencing in the same day. It wasn't typically done that way, especially since he'd waived his right to a speedy trial, but the judge could see how desperately everyone wanted this to be over.

The clock continued to tick and Adam couldn't help glancing at it, willing everything to go faster so he could leave this room and go check on his son. That's what he was really worried about, that Colton would be okay no matter what happened.

He thought back, trying to remember how he'd felt in those first few months after he and his mom had escaped. It was hard to remember that time, whether he'd blocked it out or his mind had never latched onto it in the first place, he didn't know. He was sure there was some relief, and the fear of his father coming back for them had been there for a lot of years. To be honest, that fear sat with him until he'd moved to New York. As often as he and Colton discussed what had happened he still didn't know exactly how his son was feeling. It scared him a little in some ways, but in others it made him proud to know that his son was strong enough to work through some things on his own.

He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice that the sentence was being handed down until Lindsay squeezed his hand.

"For the charge of first degree kidnapping the defendant will serve a term of twelve years. For the charge of unlawful transportation of a minor over state lines, the defendant will serve three years. And for the charge of aggravated abuse and neglect of a minor, the defendant will serve ten years. Sentences will be served consecutively for a total of twenty-five years."

His breath left him in a whoosh and his chin met his chest in disbelief. Finally, after so many years of abuse, so many years of mental torture afterwards, after everything that had just happened, justice was being served. It was even more than he thought it would be and his hands started to shake as he felt the pull his father had start to fade, faster and more permanently than it ever had before. He'd been released from that hell for thirty-one years, but this was the first day that he was truly free.

He lifted his head and found Lindsay looking at him, a smile spread widely across her face. He smiled back at her, unable to describe what he was feeling right now, but not feeling any pressure to do so. She held his hand tightly then reached her other hand up to cup his face.

"It's over."

"I know."

"He's going to rot in there."

"Let's get Colton and go home."

She nodded and they went out into the hallway where Colton and Jo were still sitting after returning from lunch.

"Mama? Daddy? Did it go good?"

"It went great, buddy," Lindsay said with a smile. Colton ran to them happily and laughed when he was scooped up into his daddy's arms.

"How do you feel, daddy?"

"So much better, son. You did a really good job."

"Is he goin' to jail?"

"Yeah buddy. For a really long time."

"I'm so glad, daddy. You and me never have to worry 'bout the likes of him ever again. That is so great. I am real happy."

"Me too bud."

Colton dropped his voice and cupped his finger around Adam's ear.

"You are the best daddy in the world. Thanks for teachin' me to be a good man."

"Goodnight Avery. I'll see you in the morning."

"Ah mama, night. Sleepy."

"I know you're sleepy. Close your eyes and snuggle down there. Want your penguin?" she asked, handing her the sock animal.

"No. Blankie."

"Okay baby. Sweet dreams. I'll see you in the morning."

Lindsay slipped out of the room and closed the door partway, then tiptoed across the hallway where the boys were tucked into bed and whispering quietly to each other.

"Hi mama," Ben greeted. "We was finishin' up some discussin'."

"That's alright, I just came in to say goodnight."

"Well then aren't you gonna kiss me?"

She chuckled and sat down on his bed, brushing his hair back and kissing his cheek.

"I love you Ben. I'll see you in the morning."

"Love you too, mama. Sleep really good."

She moved over to Colton's bed and he smiled up at her, that face she hadn't seen in months.

"You doing better honey?"

"Yep. I don't feel like all the air is heavy on me anymore. You ever felt like the air is heavy mama?"

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. It feels much better, doesn't it?"

"Yes. I told Isa about it and she said it feels like when she gets in trouble and Danny and Austin hug her afterwards. It makes everything the way it used to be."

"Yeah, as close as it can be. Are you going to be okay tonight?"

He nodded and played with her hand, yawning a little.

"Mama, could you tell Jo I said thank you for bein' with me today?"

"I'll call her in the morning."

"Tell her I so 'preciated it."

"I will. Did daddy already say goodnight?"

"Yeah, he tucked us in while you were changin' Aves."

"Okay. I love you Colton. And I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks mama."

"I'll see you in the morning."

She leaned down to hug him and he held on a little longer than normal before letting her go.

"Goodnight."

She left the room, planning on going upstairs to find Adam, but feeling a gentle breeze from the bathroom window. Peeking out, she found him sitting on the back porch roof, staring up at the few stars he could see.

"Room for one more?"

He turned and smiled at her, nodding gently and chuckling as she shimmied out the window and sat next to him.

"What are you doin' out here babe?"

"Sittin'. Thinkin'. Fresh air."

She sighed and wrapped her arm around his, leaning against his shoulder.

"We haven't sat out here for a long time."

"Yeah and you were pregnant last time and I made fun of you for the way you tried to get in and out of the window."

"Shut up," she giggled.

"Remember what we talked about that night?"

"There were a lot of things. You told me that when you were a kid you used to want to go to the moon and look at the stars from there. You wondered if they would look different."

"I still wonder that."

She smiled and they fell into silence for a while, both looking up at the few stars that shone brightly enough to be seen over the city lights.

"What was it like, Linds?"

"What was what like?"

"When you testified in court and heard that the man that had ruined your life was going to jail forever. How did that feel?"

"Scary. Testifying was hard, but when that sentence came down… I don't know. You can't ever change what happened, but it definitely gives you a point to start from to make things into a new normal."

"Yeah."

"How do you feel right now?"

"Happy. I'm not overjoyed, you know. Can't be with everything that happened, but I think I'm in a better place than I've ever been before."

"I've never known you without this hanging over your head," she noted softly. "Not that you live by it or let it define you, but it's always been there."

"I'm sorry, babe."

"For what?"

"For always having that wall up. It's not a huge one, but it's there and it's between us."

"What do you mean honey?"

He sighed and looked down at her, tucking her hair behind her ear and letting his eyes search hers for a minute.

"Let's go inside."

She nodded and followed him back through the window, shutting it behind them before they went upstairs. He didn't say anything, just changed his clothes and slid into bed, so she followed his lead, pulling a pillow under her head and laying on her side to look at him. She could tell he wanted to say what was on his mind but he was having a hard time finding the words, so she reached out and brushed her hand gently over his face, making her eyes wide, knowing that the openness could help him.

"I haven't been everything to you that I could be," he said after a moment. "Or to the kids. I've held back something from you and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"What do you think you've held back?"

"I'm not exactly sure. I just don't think I've given you all of me. I want to do better."

She looked at him confusedly for a moment, sighing and trying to figure out what he was really saying.

"Adam, you know that I wouldn't change anything about you, right?"

"I know that. I just feel like I've given in to the anger and resentment my whole life and I don't want to do that anymore. It's not fair to everyone else. It's not fair to me."

"Okay," she said softly, still not sure what he was getting at, but trusting that as long as he knew it would be alright. "I love you."

"I love you too babe. Goodnight."

Her feet were heavy and her hands shook as she walked through the door and sat down in the booth the guard had indicated to her. This visit to the jail was more on instinct than anything else and even though she hated to keep it a secret, she wasn't sure she would be telling Adam yet. Eventually of course but now while everything was so fresh, she didn't need to bring it up.

The door buzzed and Adam's father was shoved into the seat opposite her. He stared at her for a moment and she kept a poker face before picking up the phone. He was hesitant but picked his end up too, taking a deep breath. He looked older than he had yesterday and for just a brief moment, she wondered how hard this had been on him.

"Hello, Lindsay. We've never formally met before."

"We don't need to."

"Then what are you here for?"

"Why did you do it?"

"I think the court answered that for you yesterday."

"Not good enough. I want to hear it from you."

He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Lemme tell you what. You want to know why? You gotta give me something in return."

She lifted her eyebrow at him and nearly laughed.

"I'm a cop. I've seen this routine a hundred times. Never mind, you're not worth it."

"Hey, wait! Don't go yet."

"You're a pathetic man, do you know that?"

He didn't answer and she sighed, wishing she hadn't come.

"Why did you do all this? Take Colton from us, make us go through this trial, all the calling for years beforehand. Why?"

"Because Adam is my son and I want to be a part of his life."

"Then why did you beat him every day when he was a kid? Why did you hold a gun on his mother when she tried to leave?"

"I was sick."

"Why did you hate your son so much? Why do you still hate him?"

"I didn't hate him," he growled, slamming his fist down. "I love my son. I made mistakes and I am paying for them but that doesn't mean I never loved him."

"Yes it does. You loved the power you had over him and you couldn't even let go of that so he could live his own life. You're a pathetic excuse for a man. I am so glad he turned out to be nothing like you and I wish I could come over there and beat you into the ground again for everything you've done, but you know what? We get to move on and you get to spend hopefully the rest of your little life rotting in a cell, all by yourself, no family to visit you, no one to wield your power over, nothing to be proud of. I hope you're happy."

She slammed the phone back onto the hook and stood up, turning to leave the room.

"I'll always be in their heads," he shouted after her, through the plexi-glass. "And I'll always be in yours too. I win!"

"No you don't win!" she yelled, turning around. "You don't win at all. Because you're alone and we're not. You may think that you're in our heads but you have no power there because we know the truth and we know how weak you really are. Soon you'll be nothing but a story, and before you know it, it will be like you never existed. So you can think you won all you want, but you're still the one behind bars and we're the ones that are going to be just fine."

She turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, out of the building and down the street for several blocks before she slowed down to breathe normally. Maybe it would be best to not tell Adam about this for quite some time.