A/N: I am pretty sure that Ben is one of the best characters I have ever written.
A shrill scream from Ben ripped through the entire house effectively stopping Adam and Lindsay's conversation and making their hearts race. They both ran for the stairs wondering what in the world could have made him scream so loud and if they would be visiting the emergency room tonight.
"Do you think that's his Kevin McCallister impression or did he zip his thing again?"
They found Ben in the bathroom, standing on his little stool and leaning over the sink, his small hands gripping the sides.
"Buddy, what's the matter? What happened?"
"I'm going bald!" he shouted, tears running down his cheeks as he held up one single hair.
"What do you mean?"
"I was just combin' my hair so I could look all fancy for school tomorrow," he started, sniffling. "And then this hair falled out! Right into the sink!"
"Ben, that doesn't mean you're going bald."
"Oh yeah?" he challenged, pushing his hair back from his face. "I gots more of my forehead tonight than I did yesterday!"
"You've been making a conscious effort to check?"
"No! I just know I got more!"
Lindsay was trying so hard not to laugh, but she had to step out of the bathroom and into the hallway where she leaned against the wall and slid to the floor, her shoulders shaking at Ben's perceived mid-life crisis. She glanced into the boy's room, seeing Colton sitting up in bed, hiding his smile behind his Hardy Boys book.
"Ben, settle down. You're not going bald."
"But a hair falled out! Hairs don't just fall out! Not unless you're going bald, which I are!"
"Hey don't wig out-"
"That's not funny. I am gonna need a wig to cover up how I am baldy!"
"It's normal for some hair to fall out occasionally-"
"It's gray!" he shrieked, holding the hair up to the light. "Look at it! I am old and bald!"
"Benjamin, you need to take a deep breath and settle down."
"But daddy this is bad! I was just mindin' my own company, combin' my hair all nice and then this hair falls out, it's gray, and I'm findin' out that I actually am forty!"
Lindsay snorted with laughter and fell over onto the floor.
"And now we got a pig in the house!"
"Ben, be quiet and let me talk to you. You're not going bald. Hair falls out all the time. It's totally normal. See?"
He reached up and grabbed one of his own hairs, yanking it out.
"Then how do you 'splain how mine is gray?"
"It's not gray, it's blonde."
"But my hair is brown!"
"I know it is but you have some blonde hair in there too. Everything is just fine. Your hair isn't falling out and you're not going bald. You need to calm down and get ready for bed."
"Are you sure?"
"I wouldn't lie to you, Ben. Now brush your teeth. I need to go put your sister back to sleep."
"Okay," he sniffled, looking at the offending hair for a moment before dropping it into the trashcan.
"It's going to be okay Ben," Adam assured again, leaning down to hug him. "I promise."
"I 'spose I am just on edge because of startin' school. Don't know what to expect."
"Would you like to talk about it with me?"
"Yes daddy."
"Okay. Get ready for bed and I'll be in there in a couple minutes."
Ben nodded and got his toothbrush ready while Adam left the bathroom, helping Lindsay up from the floor and wiping her laughter tears away.
"How did we get that kid?" she asked as soon as she caught her breath.
"Pure luck. Come on, Avery woke up."
They went into Avery's room and found her awake, holding onto the bars of her crib and jumping up and down, curious about what all the noise was.
"Okay baby, time to go back to sleep."
"Mama, icky."
"Oh so you've been raising up a stink in here? Daddy smell her, make sure this isn't just a ploy for her to get out of bed."
"I'm not smellin' her."
"You either do the smellin' or the changin'."
He sighed and hesitated so long that Lindsay just pulled Avery out of the crib and brought her over to the changing table.
"Mama binkie?"
"No, we've talked about this. You're too old for that. Remember all the binkies went bye-bye and they are with little babies now."
"Mine!"
"No, not yours," Adam said, leaning down to blow a raspberry on her cheek. "Can you be daddy's big girl and sleep without it tonight?"
"No!"
"Yes. No arguments. Me and mama made a decision and that's it."
She sighed and jutted her lip out, letting a few tears flow down her cheeks as Lindsay finished with the diaper and replaced her pajamas.
"Okay, time to go back to bed."
"No mama. Hugs."
They both hugged and kissed her before tucking her into the crib where she grunted and whined until she found a comfortable position and closed her eyes. They left the room and found Ben in the bathroom still, struggling to put a shower cap on.
"Ben, what are you doing?"
"I'm puttin' this on. So my other hairs don't get no wild ideas."
"Why is my hairspray on the floor honey?" Lindsay asked, crouching down it pick up the container and finding it empty.
"I used it all up."
"Ben."
"I'm serious about this business mama. You don't know."
"Okay, but you're going to have to sleep like that."
"That's what I was plannin' on. Carry me in there daddy!"
Adam chuckled and lifted him up, zooming him into the bedroom and onto his bed.
"Now, what kind of questions do you have about preschool?"
"Will the other kids like me?"
"Of course they will. As long as you just be yourself, the kids will like you just fine."
"Cole, what do you think?"
"I think you're a cool kid Ben, even if you do look funny right now. And I think if some kids don't like you, then that's just because they are not as cool as you are."
"Really?"
"Yeah! You will be fine, Ben."
"Okay. And mama will pick me up as soon as it's all over?"
"Yes, I will be right by the door."
"But Dunner really can't come?"
"No honey, he can't."
"Okay. I think I am ready then. It will be good."
"Yes it will. How about you, Colton, how are you feeling?"
"Well," he started with a sigh. "I am sad that me and Isa have different teachers. I was lookin' forward to bein' in class together. But I think it is cool that I am in the class that is for first grade and second grade and I am glad Sarah is in there with me. I will like bein' a leader for the kids that are littler than me. And I will be happy to see all my friends again."
"Well it sounds like you boys are both going to have a good time tomorrow. Now, time for bed."
Ben waited until he and Colton were left alone, then rolled onto his side.
"Thanks for sayin' I am cool, Cole."
"You're welcome Ben. I love you."
"Love you too. Goodnight."
"Hello? Mama?"
As much as Lindsay loved the kids, she was getting tired of these early morning wake-ups, especially since the sun wasn't even up yet and the entire room was blanketed in the blue light of dawn.
A cold hand ran over her face and she opened her eyes to find Ben standing there in a wife-beater and slacks, his hair damp and his eyes wide behind his glasses.
"What's the matter, baby? Why is your hair wet?"
"Taked a bath. To get ready."
"Oh honey, it's so early."
He nodded and climbed up into the bed beside her, his dress shoes clunking against her shin.
"Could you rub my arms?" he asked sleepily.
"Sure honey."
"Ben, just rub your chest and your arms will take care of themselves. Remember?" Adam asked, his voice gravelly as he rolled over.
"No, I am not cold daddy. I am nervous. It makes me feel better when mama rubs my arms."
"Oh I see. You have fun with that, I'm going back to sleep."
"Goodnight daddy."
Lindsay yawned and gently stroked over Ben's arms while he took deep breaths and ran the satin edge of one of their blankets through his fingers.
"Mama, my tummy is real nervous."
"I know. It's okay. Once you get to school you won't be nervous anymore. And then on the next school day you'll be just fine."
"Okay. I just hope it is all I dreamed."
"What were you dreaming of?"
"Well, lots of friends, learning new stuffs, and a snack!"
"That sounds about right honey."
He nodded and raised his leg in the air.
"I'm wearin' my nice shoes. The ones what got toe brushes on them," he said, pointing at the tassels.
"I see that. I figured you would dress up for school."
"I like to dress up in my fancies. It makes me feel grown up."
"It makes you look grown up too."
"How many hours until it's time to go?"
"Four."
"That's how many ages I am. Mama, are the other kids in my class four too?"
"Yeah, they are. There might be a few kids that are three. I'm not sure."
"Okay. I think I will fall asleep now. Will you comb my hair nice and gentle when I wake up so I can make a good 'pression?"
"Yes, I will."
He gave her a little smile then cuddled closer and shut his eyes, almost instantly asleep. She wouldn't be joining him anytime soon, she much preferred just laying here and looking at him. She remembered that after he was born she'd been so much more tired than she had been with Colton and she didn't take as much time to look at his face and count his toes and memorize all his curves and bits of chub. She did remember how funny he'd looked in a diaper because his legs were so skinny and she remembered his very specific cry and how she had to clip his fingernails almost every day because they grew so much. She felt like the older he got the more things she learned about him, not just through observation but because he wasn't too shy to just say it like it was. He'd been so quiet for so long about things and then suddenly he found his voice and now he couldn't shut up if he tried. She loved that about him, the way he always said what was on his mind, even if he said "dat" and "dere" instead of "that" and "there" and the way he nodded his head when he was saying something important. She wanted to keep him just like this forever because she couldn't imagine the years and wisdom making him more enjoyable than he was now. His innocence and simplicity were the things that made him who he was and she didn't want him to ever grow out of them. The hope was that preschool would give him a little more confidence and independence, foster his intelligence and the strange way his mind worked and show him different things in the world while he was still young so he would be accepting of all different people. His trouble was that he saw the world as right and wrong with no gray area. Most of the time that was okay, but they didn't want him to ever shun someone because they believed something different than he did. They wanted him to be able to communicate well and respect people even if they didn't agree. Colton was more likely to listen, but Ben stood behind the things he believed and thought and no one could convince him otherwise. He liked to find out for himself rather than being told and this one extra year of school might make him a little more flexible in that area.
He yawned in his sleep and she kissed his forehead softly, incredibly grateful for the funny, smart, passionate little person he was turning out to be.
The house was chaos soon after breakfast with kids going in all different directions. Austin and Danny came over to drop Junior off for the day and to take Colton to school with the girls. Ben grabbed their hands and drug them inside so he could show them his fancy outfit and how he planned on walking into the classroom with his coat slung over his shoulder and his briefcase in hand. He'd insisted on a briefcase, even over the dinosaur backpack that Lindsay had offered him and nothing would change his mind. School was serious business and he needed serious tools, like a briefcase, pencils and paper, and a thermos filled with fruit punch.
"See this is how I'm gonna walk in there," he said, sashaying across the living room floor. "Because the Julie Andrews lady says we don't shlump like this."
"Oh Ben," Austin laughed, leaning down to hug him. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, Austin. Do you think I look like a big preschool kid?"
"I think you do."
"I wish Dunner was comin' with me. Won't be the same now."
"It's okay. Daniel will have fun here with your mom and before you know it school will be over and you can play together."
"Okay. He isn't mad at me about it is he?"
"No he's not. He might feel a little left out, but he knows you're still his best friend no matter what."
"Good. How do you think I look uncle Danny?"
"I think you look like a goofball."
Ben laughed knowing that was a good thing coming from Danny. He wasn't the type to really give a solid compliment, so usually something silly was as good as they got.
"I got my glasses 'justed yesterday. The fit me better but the doc said I need new frames because these is small. I picked ones just like yours again!"
"If I picked out pink glasses, would you pick out pink ones?"
"No. I am smarter than to fall for that one!"
Colton laughed and shook his head as he finished getting into his jacket.
"I'm gonna go to school now Ben. Are you ready?"
"Yeah Cole, I am."
"Okay. I will see you when I get home. You have fun and do a good job."
"I will. You do that too Cole."
The boys hugged each other tightly before Colton said goodbye to Adam and Lindsay, who had a little harder time of it, and left the house. Initially they'd wanted to take him to school and walk him right into the classroom, but they'd soon decided that normal was the best way to do it and it would be easier to say goodbye here than in the classroom with everyone watching. He was brave and he would be fine, and it was important that he took this step alone.
"Hey Dunner, are you okay that I am goin' to school?" Ben asked, jumping onto the couch next to his friend.
"I'm okay."
"I wish you were comin' with me. That would be so much more funner. Like how Cole and Isa and Sarah get to go to school all together."
"Yeah. But my ma says next year when we are both five we will get to go to kindergarten. And maybe we will be in the same class Binyin!"
"That will be radical. Maybe you will be the president and I will be the mini-president."
"How come I get to be the president?"
"Because yours face is sexier than mine and everybody knows you gots to have a sexyish face to be the president."
"Oh, okay! When you come home will you teach me all the stuffs you learned?"
"Yep! It will be the plan, Dunner."
The steps up to the school seemed very steep and scary, and Ben clutched at Lindsay's hand tightly, suddenly feeling his stomach wiggle. He glanced over at Junior who gave him a reassuring smile and a pat on the shoulder as they went through the open door and down the hallway to the classroom.
"Are ya ready Binyin?"
"I'm ready, Dunner."
Junior handed the briefcase to Ben and the four of them stepped into the classroom. It was decorated brightly with paintings and posters and Ben nodded in satisfaction, remembering that it had looked just this way when he'd visited the week before. There were no other kids there yet, but that was okay, it gave him time to scope the place out a little.
"Good morning Ben. How are you doing?"
"Well hi Miss Teacher! I am good today. This is my best friend, his name is Junior but I call him Dunner. And this is my sissy what's called Avery. And you meeted my mama earlier."
"Yeah, I remember. Did you really bring a briefcase?"
"Yep. That's what daddy brings when he has to go talk in the court."
"Well it's good that you brought it to carry all your things in. Would you like to come in and find your special cubby?"
"Yes! C'mon Dunner, help me find my name! It starts with B!"
"Okay Binyin."
They found the cubby quick enough and Ben stashed his coat and briefcase inside.
"Guess this means it's time for y'all to go," he said, noticing that other kids were starting to arrive.
"Aunt Lin can we stay longer?"
"No, we have to go, but we'll be back soon. Besides, I need someone to help me make a cake for Jo's birthday. Nobody licks the spatula better than you do, guy."
"Okay," Junior agreed. "Bye Binyin. Have lots and lots of fun."
"I will," Ben said, hugging Junior. "Tell ya all about it. Now it's time to hug sissy."
He crouched down in front of Avery and placed his hand on her shoulder, taking a deep breath.
"Now sissy, you will be a big girl and not cry when you leave. But if you do I love you anyways. Hug me real quick."
She hugged him and kissed his cheek, then stood back and sniffled, taking Junior's hand and leaning against him. She didn't like to see her brothers leave and even though she didn't really understand why, she knew that she couldn't cry right now.
"Okay mama your turn. Bend down so I can hug you 'round the neck for that's your skinniest part and I gots short arms. And then you will kiss me on the part of my cheek what's the most chubbiest."
Lindsay smiled and obeyed his directions, holding him for just a little longer than she intended. It had been hard to leave Colton in kindergarten, but this was proving to be much, much harder.
"I'll see you in a few hours Ben. I love you very much."
"I love you too, mama. I will make ya proud. Don't look back."
He gave them all a final wave before they walked out the door and he rushed to the window so he could watch as they walked down the street. Junior was watching his feet as he shuffled along, his shoulders down, looking dejected. Avery was crying hysterically, her head tipped back and her face red. Ben knew they were sad to leave him and he felt sad for them but he also felt really good that they loved him and wanted to be with him so much.
He went back to the table that his teacher told him he would sit at, and smiled at the boy sitting next to him.
"Hey kid, I'm Ben! What's your name?"
"I'm Hunter. I'm scared."
"That's okay! We will be friends and now you don't gotta be scared no more because you're not alone. How is that?"
"That's good. Are you four like me?"
"Yep! What do you think we will get for a snack today?"
"We get snacks here? This is gonna be awesome!"
"I know. Preschool is the best thing ever."
"Hey guy, what's the matter?" Lindsay asked as Junior brought his juice cup back into the kitchen.
"Nothin'."
"Somethin's bothering you sweetie. C'mere and tell me about it."
He walked over to her and she lifted him onto the counter, brushing his hair back from his face.
"I just miss Binyin," he confessed.
"I do too. It's not much longer until we can go pick him up."
"Aunt Lin, do you think Binyin will find other friends than me?"
"He might find other friends Junior, but he will never, ever, ever find a best friend like you. I promise."
"Okay."
"You want to help me with this cake?"
"No, I will watch though. I like to sit on the counter like this."
"How come?"
"Cuz, you put us kids up here when you fix our owwies or check us for bein' sick or when you just want to talk to us and no other kids. It's a special spot, aunt Lin."
"Well you're a special boy."
"Do you love me a lot?"
"Yes I do."
"How come?"
"There's a lot of reasons why I love you, guy. Mostly it's because you are who you are."
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I like how our family is all together. I like that you and my ma is best friends. I like that my daddy and uncle Cupcake punch each other's shoulders and laugh. I like that all us kids are friends. I am glad I was borned to this family and not some other one that doesn't got as much love and laughin'."
"I'm glad you were too, guy. It wouldn't be the same without you."
"When I grow up, I'm gonna ride a motorcycle," he said, changing the subject. "And I will take my ma for a ride on the back like daddy does. And I will wear the black jacket like the one he wears."
"Do you want to be just like your daddy?"
"Yep! Except I will be not a policeman science guy. I will be a baseball man or a skateboarder. Or maybe a fireman person. Or a racecar dude."
She chuckled and kissed his forehead.
"You act a lot like your daddy, guy."
"Yeah except I don't tease you as much like he does."
"That's very true. If you want to go get your shoes on, I'll put this cake in the oven and we can go get Ben."
"Okay!" he agreed as she lifted him off the counter and kissed his cheek before setting him on the floor. "Hey sissy, get your shoes on!"
Avery shouted back at him from the other room and he ran through tossing her jacket to her. They were soon out the door and in the car, Junior happily humming along with the radio while Avery looked out the window and babbled to herself.
"Hey aunt Lin, sissy's got a snot bubble in her nose."
"Oh gross."
"I will pop it. There you go sissy. Better?"
"Ah, sanks Dundo."
He gave her a little smile and a nod as Lindsay parked the car in the lot and helped them to get out of their seats. Junior tugged on her hand and pulled her towards the building, so excited to see Ben that he couldn't even figure out how to push the door open. Lindsay let him struggle for a minute before she helped him and they made it to the classroom just in time.
"Binyin!"
"Dunner!"
Ben ran out of the classroom and crashed into Junior, both of them laughing through the long hug.
"It was so fun, Dunner! It was so much fun and I wished you were there!"
"I missed you! I had to play with sissy!"
"What did you and sissy do?"
"I read her a book."
"Dunner, you don't know how to read!"
"She don't know that. I don't think she liked the story much though. What did you do today?"
"Well," he started grandly, while Lindsay talked with his teacher and gathered his things. "We did lots of stuff. There is another kid in my class what's named Ben too! And my teacher said she could call us Ben B. and Ben R. but then the other kid called Ben said he would like to be called Benjamin, so that is that. And me and him are friends now and we maked a club called the Ben-Benjamin club! Also I meeted a kid called Hunter and a girl called Lillian."
"Oh. That's cool."
"Don't worry, Dunner. None of those other kids what I mentioned will be my best friend. None of them have been there for me through thick and thin."
"You sure Binyin?"
"Yep! I only gots one best friend in the world and that's a buddy called Dunner and you is the only Dunner I knowed."
"Okay Binyin. Maybe sometime I could meet the other kids and we could all play because we would have more kids for better games."
"That is a good idea. Preschool is pretty swell but it would be a lot funner with my buddy Dunner. Hey, I maked a rhyme!"
Junior laughed and clapped Ben on the back.
"You got all kinds of smarty today Binyin. Come on, let's go back to your house. Your mama maked a cake for Jo and also one for us to eat after lunch."
"Oh cool! Can we go home now mama?"
"Yeah, we can."
He handed her his briefcase, then slung his arm around Junior's shoulders as they walked out of the classroom, chattering to each other as if they'd never been apart.
"I also drawed this picture," Ben said, unrolling the piece of construction paper he'd been holding. "It is of our family. See over on this side is daddy and mama and Cole and me and sissy. And over on this side in the other house is Danny and Austin and Isa and Sarah and you Dunner! That's our whole family. And the teacher said we only have to drawed our house family but I said that all of us is a family and that's how I was gonna draw us."
"I like that picture, Binyin."
"Good 'cuz I did it for you! And also there's a dinosaur on the back so when you get bored of the family picture on your wall, you can turn it around!"
"Awesome!"
"But mostly it's for you to remember that you is my best friend and in my family. And that never changes for now you gots it on paper."
"Okay Binyin. Aunt Lin, is that what you were tryna explain to me earlier?"
"Yeah, that's it."
"Good, I get it now. Let's go Binyin!"
They held hands and ran across the parking lot to the car while Lindsay smiled and watched them. It was good to see that all the things they'd been trying to instill into the kids their whole lives were finally coming into a functioning fruition. They were definitely all doing something right.