Chapter 8: Views of Others
A.N: Just a quick note to you wonderful readers. This story is also available on Archive of Our Own under the same name! This both for if something happens to the story on this site, we have a backup and for those who like that site a tad more.
I also have a Tumblr where you can find previews and updates to the stories as well as conversations between and my co-writer about ideas. Go to Tumblr and search up Inusoragirl. I would link both sites, but fanfiction sadly doesn't allow me to
Other than that please enjoy and leave us a review we always love feedback!
Neku and Joshua were led to their new temporary quarters by a platoon of fully armed soldiers. It was practically barren save a single bunk bed; not even a window to liven up the décor. Neku noticed some discolorations on the walls, and heavy scratching on the floor. He guessed other soldiers had lived here. Maybe the ones leading them.
"Thank you, boys, we can take it from here," Joshua announced cheerily, closing the door between them and the soldiers. He turned back to Neku. "Dibs on the bottom bunk!"
"Who ever calls the bottom?" Joshua seemed to ignore him and plopped down on the bed. He flipped open his phone and typed in a few commands. "Well, whatever," Neku continued. "That was a pretty slick story you gave-"
"Shush dear," Joshua interrupted. He was scanning the room with the camera of his phone.
"What?"
"Not another word," Joshua ordered. Neku scowled, but remained silent. Joshua continued waving his phone over the walls, inputting a few codes every now and then. After a while, he closed his phone and put it in his lap.
"Alright," he said, his face growing more serious. "Cameras and bugs are disabled. What did the Reapers tell you?" A portal opened behind Neku and a folding chair slid out for his convenience.
Neku accepted the seat. "Well, besides trying to bludgeon me with a gorilla, one of them didn't seem too bad. He caught me while I was trying to escape and flew me away from the other two."
"Yes yes, I saw the Noise in the footage," Joshua waved his hand impatiently. "We don't have time for stories Neku, just stick with information that I can use."
Hmm, impatient, Neku thought. That's not totally unusual, but we aren't on a time limit like in the Game. He doesn't get like this in the RG that often. "At least, three of the Reapers are on Seras' side. They don't have much of a plan, but they aren't trying to kill her."
"Don't say her name," Joshua said, now speaking Japanese. "We should stick with our native language when we talk about this too. That way no one can eavesdrop. Did you get any names?"
"Oni and Megan," Neku answered, following Joshua's example. "The one that carried me away didn't give his own. Why all the secrecy?"
"This Hellsing is using a vampire as her personal Rambo, and she's training another. If she gets wind that one of her peons is the most powerful person in all of London, we don't know what she might do with her."
"I think she already believes that the vampire is the most powerful person in London," Neku countered.
"With limitations," Joshua pointed out. "She has to keep her vampire a secret from everyone outside her government, and its power is severely limited in the daylight. A Composer would grant her a much greater advantage."
"And now we work for her," Neku said sarcastically.
"For now," Joshua said. "And as far as Hellsing knows, I'm no more than a form of transportation. And you're a wanted criminal, so she can't send you into the city to do dirty work."
"So why hire us? If she only knows that much, we aren't much of an asset to her."
"I'm not sure. It might have something to do with that meeting they went to while we were here. I overheard the captain mention that it was with the queen while we were waiting for you."
"Hmm," Neku pondered. "Well, we're here. Why don't we look into it?"
Joshua smiled. "Care to go for an evening walk before bed, my friend?" He was speaking in English again.
"Heh," Neku laughed. "Could be nice. But I don't want you bumming around with me."
"Oh, I wouldn't want to impose!" The two stood and exited the room. The hallway was dark and empty.
"Don't be too long," Joshua advised. "You had a long day, wouldn't want to wake up drowsy tomorrow." Don't draw attention to yourself, Neku interpreted.
"Got it." Neku fiddled with his headphones and walked one direction down the hall. Joshua went the opposite direction.
Damn, Neku thought as he traversed the darkened halls of Hellsing Manor. This place even looks like a vampire's lair. He turned a corner and met a pair of Wild Goose soldiers. Behind them, there was a sizable hole in the wall, and a set of stairs leading deep beneath the compound. There were voices echoing up from the depths. Neku strained to make out what they were saying.
"No matter how many times we kill them, they keep coming back." It was the butler's voice, Neku was just able to identify it.
"Hey kid," one of the guards said. He waved his rifle at Neku. "Move along, you got no business here." Neku could hear the vampire speaking now, just barely inaudible behind the guard. Something about new members.
"What's the problem," Neku asked, raising his arms in mild annoyance. "Is there a rule against standing here?"
"Yes," the guard retorted.
"Oh." That admittedly stumped him. "My bad, guys. Didn't know. I'll move on." Neku walked away, letting the guards watch him for a while until he turned a corner. He could only teleport into places he could see, but there were enough obstacles to obscure his entrance. Onto a hanging light, under a table, behind a plant, and then straight through the hole onto the stairway, and neither guard noticed a thing. Neku couldn't help but pat himself on the back for his badass stealth.
Neku didn't dare go down the steps too far, for fear of the vampire smelling him or something, and he could hear them fairly well from halfway down. He turned down the volume of his headphones just to be sure.
The Butler, Walter, Neku finally remembered, was still talking. "-would you of all people do something so out of character?" Partway through the conversation. Neku hoped he hadn't missed anything crucial.
"It was her decision. She chose her own path." The vampire now. Big Bad Batty. Neku clearly remembered his name was Alucard, but he just liked Batty more. Who was "she" though? "What about her family?"
"She doesn't have any. She's an orphan."
"I figured." Neku thought he heard Batty chuckle at that. Probably a trick of the echo. "She's more interesting than she looks. Her superiors and coworkers were being turned into ghouls right and left in her town of death. A vampire was trying to rape and kill her. It was a hell like the bottom of a witch's cauldron. And what did she do? What did she choose? Giving up is what kills people." Neku heard a single light clap. "Those who refuse to give up are entitled to trample upon humanity."
That time there was definitely a chuckle. "Now all she needs to do is drink blood, right?"
"She'll drink," Alucard said with confidence. "She'll definitely drink."
Seras, Neku realized. Oh crap, they're talking about Seras. He decided it was time to get very far away from Alucard and Walter. He silently trailed back up the stairs and retraced his teleportations back around the corner, and then kept walking. He turned his music up very loud.
Joshua had made himself invisible to the living from the instant he entered their room, and still was as he walked the halls of Hellsing Manor. Every so often he would come across a lazing soldier or two, but even if they were on duty, they couldn't perceive him. He still had to be mindful of the vampires, though; this was their time to roam, and he was perfectly visible as far as they were concerned. It really was a shame Neku hadn't chosen to join the Reaper Game. If he had this sort of work would be so much easier.
He heard coughing in the room next to him. It sounded rather painful. Joshua peered around the corner to make sure everything was alright, and there was Seras coughing up hot soup. An entire spread of fine meats and fancy dishes was laid before her, illuminated by the moonlight. Much of it looked delicious. Joshua imagined she must have been dying to eat food from her life to have so much prepared. None of it was viable, of course. Her body rejected everything, except…
A packet of donated blood landed on the table before her. Seras' eyes turned red instantly. "Why don't you drink blood?" Integra stepped out from the shadows, smoking a fat cigar. "You're not human anymore. You're a vampire, Seras."
Seras was stammering, nervous, probably still choking on the soup. Joshua crept closer to the shadows. His nose wrinkled and his face straightened. An unbloodied vampire was rare, but that's what he needed right now. It would make her much easier to return to the Reapers, and Hellsing was tempting her. A blood pack wasn't awful, though, dead blood isn't that big of a deal.
Integra grabbed a knife from the table and slit it across the tip of her finger. Seras yelled in surprise, and Joshua recoiled.
"Heh," Integra chuckled. "I cut my finger. I don't want it to get infected. Please, lick it for me."
"But, umm…" Seras was retracting, unsure. But her eyes didn't leave the dripping blood.
"Lick it," Integra said more firmly. "That's an order."
"No no no no no," Joshua cursed under his breath. I can't stop her. The situation is too delicate as it is, and I can't afford to have more enemies right now blocking me from Seras. Don't do it…
She did it, as commanded. Joshua had to turn his eyes, the visage was so obscene. He considered turning around and leaving, before anything got out of hand, but Hellsing was right here. If he was going to get any information out of her, it would be now. So Joshua waited for the slurping sounds to stop. Eventually, they did, and Seras put her bloodied tongue back in her mouth.
"It's genuine, 100 percent pure virgin blood. You feel any better?" Virgin, great, Joshua thought to himself. So if any vampire goes rogue and tries to drink her, she'll just come back as a vampire herself. Seras stuttered a word of thanks, and Integra turned back. "Prepare your gear and standby for action." Joshua's ears perked up. "We've lost contact with our aircraft carrier Eagle off the coast of Wales. It's probably them."
Seras stood to attention. "Y-Yes, sir!" She turned to leave the room, and caught a glimpse of Joshua looking at her. He backed into the wall and vanished.
The portal closed behind him, so Joshua could be sure he was alone. The Stygian blackness around him swirled and churned like the oceans of nothingness before the universe came to be. He did not open a new portal, at first, choosing instead to float in the emptiness alone for a time.
"Hmm," Joshua thought aloud. "Meetings with the queen, loss of contact with warships, 'them?' The Higher Ups certainly have put me in a pickle." He leaned back in the air and looked in his phone. Newspaper articles, documentaries, live footage. An overwhelming amount of red.
"I think we've been recruited into a war."
There was a chill in the air, and an iciness to the moon's blank stare. Seras' breath froze as it leapt from her lips, even though she herself didn't feel the cold. She was cleaning her disassembled rifle, each part greasy and lightly scratched from use. Firearm maintenance was one of the only things Seras carried over from her past life to this one. It was tedious, dull, and time-consuming, but she hardly complained. It couldn't make her feel more dead.
The taste of Integra's blood lingered in her palette. She had expected it to be like the blood from a steak, fatty and tinged with iron, but it wasn't. Human blood was leaner, saltier. It was smoked rather than grilled, tangy and bitter in just the right way. Seras was infatuated with its taste, and disgusted with herself for it. The warmth of it had spread all over her body, thin but potent. Her veins twitched lightly and sporadically, the tease of blood bringing little bits of life to her flesh. Seras hadn't simply consumed blood, it was now a very real part of her. A piece of Integra's very soul, swimming through her body like a demented eel. It gave Seras power, she could tell instantly. The same intoxicating power that her master flaunted. Suddenly she realized she wanted more, she wanted the power that blood gave her. Seras had a taste of immortality, contained in little bags of meat and bone, free for her to drink if she really wanted. All it would take… All it would take…
"Uhh… You alright there Seras?" Neku was standing in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. He was watching her very carefully. Seras spun to see him, and then noticed the splatter of drool running down her uniform.
"Shit!" She wiped her face with the cloth she'd been cleaning her gun with. Now there was oil all over her mouth. Seras started spitting up as her body rejected it on two separate levels.
Neku chuckled a bit at her. "Heh, you know, for a badass vampire chick you are a bit of a ditz." He pulled out a crumbled paper napkin from his pocket and offered it to her. She snatched it and rubbed the bitter goo from her face.
"You carry around napkins?" Seras was still coughing, but had improved. She couldn't taste Integra's blood anymore.
"Force of habit," Neku shrugged and sat beside her. "I had a couple ditzy friends back in Shibuya, so I collected napkins for when they needed it."
"Hmm." Seras went back to cleaning her rifle. Neither side said anything for a minute.
"So," Neku eventually continued. "You wanna tell me about your headlights?"
She froze and glared at him. "Excuse me?"
Neku gestured to her face. "Your eyes. They were bright red."
"O-oh." Seras relaxed a little. She realized that she'd been spending too much time with the Wild Geese. "That. That was… um…"
Just then Seras noticed Neku was doing something with his hands. He'd reached up to his head and was fiddling with some buttons on his headphones. Than Neku pulled them off his head and let them hang on his neck.
"You," Seras glared at the exposed sides of his head in confusion. "Have earrings."
"Huh?" Neku touched his earlobes. There were two little metal studs in each one, glinting in the moonlight. "Oh yeah, I forgot about those."
"Do you never take that thing off your head?!" Seras yelled at him, flinging her rifle's muzzle across the room.
"What?" Neku dodged back out of the muzzle's trajectory. "Of course, I do! It's just with everything that's been going on, they slipped my mind." He pulled one out of his ear and examined it thoughtfully, rubbing it between his fingers. A nostalgic smile lit up his face. "Heh, Shiki…"
"You know," Seras watched Neku play with the jewelry. "You don't smile a lot. It's nice. More genuine than your friend's."
Neku replaced the earring. "Ha, I can tell you most of his smiles are genuine. He really is that happy to play his little games on us."
"Heh, games huh?" Seras chuckled, a little nervous. "So all this business about me being some Composer-god of death-thing is all a game? He is just playing with me right?" Neku looked over at her, more serious. There was sadness in his eye. "It has to be a lie," Seras continued. "I couldn't just forget something like that. It's ridiculous!"
"Yeah, ridiculous," Neku answered. "Ridiculous like forgetting your entire life after you die and being expected to fight to get that life back." Seras' eyes narrowed at hearing his words. He chuckled humorlessly. "Lost memory isn't all that special."
She thought about this. "So… you believe him?"
"I believe that Joshua is a very good liar," Neku said. "That he will not hesitate to manipulate people to reach his goal, no matter what he might have to do. He can be ruthless, violent, scheming, whatever he needs to be. Joshua has done things to me and my friends that I will never forgive him for. But you know what?"
Seras was perplexed, worried, and hanging on Neku's every word. "What?"
"I trust him. If he says you were a Composer and that you need to be one again, I'll trust his word."
"But you just said exactly why he shouldn't be trusted!" Seras retorted. "How he lies and cheats to get what he wants! You can trust that?"
"Yes." It was simple and pointed. "Pain in my ass that he is, Joshua is my friend. His existence makes me a better person, even when we clash." He stood up and walked across the room. When he returned he was carrying the muzzle of Seras' gun. "Especially when we clash."
Seras took the piece and wiped it down. "So that's it then? I'm a Composer? I play with dead children and send them to Hell so a couple can come back to life?"
"No. You're a vampire that doesn't drink blood."
"What?! How did you-"
"You're a woman who doesn't give into death," Neku continued. "You're stronger than a lot of people. You could use that, abuse it to get stronger. If you want, you can trample over those weaker than you without even noticing. Rule with an iron fist, crush the opposition, destroy everything when you want to start over. Send dead children to Hell.
"Personally, though," Neku finished, walking to the door. "I don't think that sort of attitude suits people like us. People who fight Death itself are better off embracing life than shunning it." And with that, he left.
"That is all, Alucard. You are dismissed."
"Yes, my Master." Alucard turned into the dark and strode out into the hall. Integra pulled the cigar from her mouth and leaned back in her chair, contemplating the days to come. An aircraft carrier captured, more and more vampires rising from the woodworks to knock at Hellsing's door, and the dead crawling out of their graves to blow up national landmarks and be a nuisance. The paperwork alone was liable to give her a hernia by the end of the month, not to mention the hours-long meetings she would inevitably have to have with the Queen and Iscariot about the existence of an afterlife on Earth. That would be a really tough one.
"Care for some tea, Madam Hellsing?" Integra looked toward the door, surprised to hear words like that come from someone other than Walter. There was Joshua, a steaming tea kettle and two china cups in hand. This boy had a strangely acute sense of timing.
"If I'd wanted tea I would have sent my butler for it Kiryu. I did not summon you."
"It wasn't about desire or summoning, Madam. I'd simply hoped to mend any residual feelings of hostility between our parties." Joshua smiled innocently. Integra narrowed her eyes at the devious child.
With a tired sigh, she waved him in. "What are we drinking?"
"Big Red Robe. It's oolong, a white tea." He poured into the two cups and passed one to Integra.
"I don't recall owning that," Integra commented, looking down at the contents of the cup.
"I stepped out and got it myself," Joshua said, sipping his tea. Of course, she wouldn't taste it until he had some first, in case he'd poisoned the drink.
Integra tested the beverage. She didn't seem to taste it, but simply put it down on her desk. "You know, your very existence could be considered heresy towards almost every religion in the world. Including mine."
"Mm," Joshua hummed through his tea. "And I'm sure your vampire henchman fits in perfectly with the message of Jesus Christ."
"I can pass them off as demon's; souls cursed by their own greed in life and condemned to eternal death. What do I say about you and your Reapers?"
"I'd suggest Limbo," Joshua said in a joking tone. "Say we're the dead caught between Heaven and Hell; that should, at least, satisfy the Catholic Church. They eat up all that Dante stuff." Joshua smiled and took another sip of tea. "What happened to your finger?"
Integra didn't even look down at her bandaged finger. "A little paper cut."
"Hmm," Joshua resisted the urge to chuckle at her lie. She was clearly better at reading other people's lies than making her own. "I hope you'll be more careful in the future Miss Hellsing. A drip of blood could be very dangerous in a place like this."
"I have complete control over my vampires, if that's what you're insinuating," Integra said firmly.
"A word of caution, nothing more," Joshua assured. He took another sip from his tea. "May I make an observation?"
Integra stirred her tea mindlessly. "If you must."
"You've accomplished a great deal in your youth, Sir Hellsing."
"Hmm?"
"Two vampires, a small army, your own government organization. So much for a woman in her twenties. It's admirable, to be sure." Joshua stopped to refill his tea. Integra took a second sip from her cup. Her face was stony.
"I cannot be praised for these things," she said. "I didn't create Hellsing, or capture Alucard. Seras was his doing, not mine. And that army is no more than a band of mercenaries I pay twice a month."
Joshua chuckled. "I didn't think you did. Like I said, you're young. But your face is old, you've endured a great deal of stress. The kind of stress that comes with the sudden onset of power."
"And what?" Integra said with a familiar annoyance. "You, in your ancient wisdom, doubt my ability to use my authority?"
"Oh hardly," Joshua quickly corrected. "I can tell you're handling it extraordinarily well. I had much more trouble adapting to my own power."
Integra cocked an eyebrow. "You're lying."
"Heheh, nope. Being a leader is difficult when you're young. I was insecure about my choices, what was right or wrong. I had trouble controlling my emotions, or letting my emotions control me. I didn't know which would be better at what times."
"It sounds like you were truly incompetent," Integra said with a smile. Joshua returned the smile.
"Everybody is incompetent at one point or another. It's that lack of confidence that tells us we have to work on ourselves. As long as you follow a single step, you can always grow beyond it."
"Alright, Kiryu, and what is that?"
"Why Sir Integra, you need to have earned your authority." She silently sipped her tea. "I worked for decades to get where I am now. Dotted my i's and crossed my t's. I did the jobs I was assigned, and eventually, I was rewarded with a great deal of power and authority. Kings and queens struggle to prove themselves for a lifetime, and very few of them really earn what they were given. So they start wars and over-punish criminals to show their subjects just how worthy they are. They get special forces to enforce their authority. And that show of power makes them feel good."
"What's your point boy?" Integra said with an edge in her voice.
"No point Miss," Joshua said, rethinking his plan. "Simply making conversation."
Integra digested this. "Hmph, well perhaps a change in topic would be necessary. Perhaps your boy's incident at the London Eye?"
"Haha, oh yes that. I must again apologize for Neku, he's effective but hardly subtle."
"Oh I'm familiar," Integra chuckled. "We have some recorded news feed I could show you of Alucard that makes the London Eye seem tame."
"I might have to look for those later," Joshua laughed. "We certainly have our hands full, don't we?"
"Quite," Integra agreed. "The two are reckless, and they stick out like sore thumbs."
"But they're always ready for a fight," Joshua added. "Very important for our purposes."
"And what exactly do you think my purpose for Alucard is?"
"Same that mine is for Neku: to kill the things that go bump in the night."
When Neku eventually returned to his room, he found Joshua lying on the bottom bunk making fake snoring noises.
"Do you even sleep?" Neku asked with genuine curiosity.
Joshua smiled a Cheshire grin and winked. "You hear any juicy gossip out there?"
"Hmph. Not much that you can use." He looked around the barren room. "Is there a dresser or a closet or something? Spare clothes I can change into?"
"'Fraid not dear," Joshua said mischievously. "I suppose you'll just have to sleep in your underwear."
"Fuck off, I'll stick with what I'm wearing." Neku flipped the lights off and jumped up on the top bunk.
"Really, your two-day old rags? That can't be hygienic Neku." Joshua's giggling shook Neku's bunk. "It's just the two of us, don't be a baby. I promise I won't take pictures of you on my phone again."
"Ugh, I swear I take you clothes shopping with us one time! You understand that you have serious boundary problems, right?"
"Oh don't be so embarrassed," Joshua chided. "Shiki sure didn't mind."
There was a pause, followed by a low burning light coming from Neku's bunk. He leaned over the side, the flame in his hand casting a shadow over his eyes. He spoke in a threatening monotone. "Joshua, did you take pictures of Shiki while she was changing?"
"What? No no no no, never!" Joshua shouted, aghast. "I wouldn't do that!"
"… Good." The flame extinguished and Neku rolled back into bed.
"I sent her pictures of you changing."
There was an audible intake of air above Joshua. Afterward, the silence lasted long enough for him to begin to worry about Neku's health, but eventually the air came rushing back out in a tired sigh.
"All things considered, you could have done worse. I can live with that. Also, it explains why she couldn't look me in the eye without blushing for a couple days."
"Haha, yeah that was fun… Sorry about this by the way." Neku braced himself, expecting to fall through another portal or be bombarded by something, but nothing happened. Joshua sat up and leaned against the wall beside their bed, holding his knees subconsciously. "I know I shouldn't have forced you into this situation without asking. Taking you away from your home and your friends. I was out of line, I get that."
"Our friends."
Joshua looked up through the crack between the wall and Neku's bunk. There was one of Neku's light blue eyes, lightly covered by his dangling orange hair, looking down on him. "Huh?"
"They're our friends Joshua, not just mine." Neku smiled.
"Uh, well yeah but that's not really the point."
"Yeah, actually it is," Neku said. "You aren't forcing me to do anything. If I wanted to go home, I would have told you to send me home. You're my friend, you blonde jackass, and I'm here to help you. If you're in an apologizing mood, though, I can think of a list of things you could start with." He reached down and flicked Joshua in the ear. "Besides, I think Seras could use our help. I heard some heavy stuff today, and I don't think she can afford to be left alone with 'bloodsuckers' like you or the crazy bastards here."
Joshua twitched with an uncontrolled smile. "Really, a vampire pun? A smile? Physical contact? When did you get all warm and caring?"
He flicked him again. "I'm trying to make you cheer up idiot. And I can be warm, what the hell do you know?"
Joshua chuckled a genuine chuckle. "Alright, alright. I'm just saying sorry, there's no need to patronize me." He pushed Neku's hand away from him.
"Okay man, apology accepted. Now shut up and let me sleep, this isn't a slumber party." Neku rolled over and squeezed his pillow to his head.
"Yeah," Joshua said quietly. "Good night." Neku said nothing, but before long Joshua could hear light snoring coming from him. He readjusted himself so he was sitting on his pillow and flipped open his phone. Joshua's face lit up with a dim red glow as he studied the few direct records he could find. It was all very gritty and amorphous, not a lot to go off of. He felt some regret for not telling Neku, but it wouldn't do much good. There was no way for him to prepare for something like this, it would be better to not let him dwell on the knowledge. Joshua felt unsure if Neku could handle the war when it came, and he knew it was inevitable at this point. There was no going back, not if he was going to get Seras back on the Composer throne. He and Neku would just have to deal with it. A pit of fear set in Joshua's stomach.
Only 24 hours left until the invasion.
There was a lot of work to be done by then.
"Fuck."
Very few things in this world are universal to every culture. Even the most ancient civilization could understand a smile or a laugh. Two lovers may not speak the same language, but the adoration in their eyes is clear in its meaning. Every creature on this earth understands that putting your arms in front of your face is defensive. The Wild Geese had been everywhere, and they were familiar with the universals in this world.
And they knew that the greatest universal was bacon. If a grand new being descended from the heavens to grace them with their power, the Wild Geese would present them with bacon. Or at least, that's what they did with Joshua and Neku. By the time breakfast was finished, Neku was ill with the bacon-burps.
"Man, they cook their bacon soft," Neku sputtered sickly. "Who makes chewy bacon?"
"Must be a European thing," Joshua suggested. "We undercook fish, they undercook pork."
"That's stupid."
"That's your opinion. I kind of liked it. Crispy bacon always tasted burnt to me. Just like toast, I never understood toast."
"What's to understand? It's crispy bread that you put eggs on. Not that complicated."
"No, it's burnt bread that you cover up and falls apart all over your lap."
"Did you grow up in a time when cooking food correctly didn't exist?"
Joshua laughed. "Yeah, it was the twentieth century. The height of poor electronics that always chars your food."
"Man whatever," Neku groaned, cradling his gurgling stomach. "You don't know the joys of an American-style grilled cheese sandwich."
"And you've never enjoyed a properly cooked plate of French toast. That's the kind of toast that I can get behind!"
"I always preferred a warm cinnamon pancake with a side of Charlotte myself." The two turned to meet the stereotyped accent known as the commander of the Wild Geese.
"Um, is that a kind of wine?" Neku inquired.
"Nope!" Bernadotte let out a hearty laugh and slapped Neku on the back. He nearly chucked partially digested bacon all over the jolly Frenchman.
Joshua smiled at the captain's perverted joke. "Ah Pip, I was wondering when you might arrive to pick up Neku."
"What?" Neku looked up.
"Oh, yes I forget to mention. As part of my and Integra's agreement, you're required to remain under constant supervision while I'm away. I have business to attend to in the city, so the good captain here was kind enough to offer his babysitting services." Neku stared at Joshua disapprovingly, but Joshua mockingly winked and stuck out his tongue. A portal opened up behind him and he turned to go through.
"Take good care of my precious baby, captain!" Joshua called mimicking an overbearing mother. "He has his naptime at 3:00 precisely, and if he starts crying I left his teddy in his crib. Be good dear!" Neku flipped him off as he waved and walked through the closing portal. Bernadotte laughed quietly to himself and lit a cigarette.
"So," he said with a puff of smoke. "Is he gay?"
"No one can tell," Neku said. "That's the impression he gives off, but I swear girls fall all over him."
"Heh, sounds like my kind of guy," Bernadotte remarked, impressed. "So, we have some time to kill. Want to learn how to shoot a gun? You strike me as a revolver sort of man."
Neku raised an eyebrow. "Handguns are illegal in my country."
Bernadotte smiled deviously. "They are in this country too! But you're in a militia now, you get all the handguns and explosives you could want here." He turned and beckoned Neku to follow. "Come on, I'll get you measured for an ammo belt."
Joshua stood in the abyssal space between portals, thinking for a time. He checked the hour on his phone; if the London Reaper Game followed a similar schedule to his, the Players wouldn't come to for another hour or two. That meant the Reapers likely hadn't left HQ, or if they had, they could be anywhere in the city.
"Well," Joshua said aloud to himself. "Guess I'm doing this the hard way." He typed a long command code into his phone. A portal opened up to his left. A moment later, another opened right beside the first. Then another opened, and another. Soon Joshua was surrounded by portals, 537 of them all leading to random locations spread throughout London. He faced the one nearest to him and leaned into it.
Joshua's face poked out into open air. He was in a market with a few pedestrians strolling about with sleep lingering in their eyes.
"Hello?" Joshua called. There was no response, which meant no dead people. A jogger passed through the open portal mistakenly and turned back. He felt like he'd passed something, but could not perceive Joshua or the portal. He shrugged and kept running.
Joshua pulled his head back through the portal, and with a pinch of his fingers it closed. Somewhere another portal opened in a new location, but he wouldn't find that one for a while yet. Unfazed, he moved on to the next portal.
"Hello?" he called again. A squirrel was digging through a dumpster in a back alley, chewing on yesterday's chips. He looked up and down the alley, and saw a morning mugging. Some guy was pulling his wallet out at the point of a gun, and Joshua guessed he was on the verge of pissing himself. Joshua shot the assailant down the block with a quick laser and went back through the portal. He giggled to himself and continued into another portal.
This would go on for several hours.
Integra and Walter walked down a dark hallway purposefully.
"They aren't attacking us themselves, but if we draw near, they fire the weapon," Walter said. "It's textbook. They're trying to lure us in."
"But we can't just call it a ghost ship and leave it at that. It's too dark and menacing," Integra pointed out. "For vampires, the sea is the lowest pit of hell. They may be lost in this situation, but so are we. How do we get Alucard and Seras on that floating fortress?" She stopped and turned to her butler. "A large ship?"
"No," Walter said. "It would take too long. We can't count on them to stay put forever." He thought for a moment. "What about a small high-speed craft?"
"No," Integra countered. She felt a pattern begin to emerge. "They have high caliber anti-aircraft and Gatling guns. It's hard to imagine it standing up to a hail of bullets. What about dropping them in from directly above?"
"No. With the anti-aircraft missiles, they have onboard we couldn't even get close, let alone directly above. We could use an airplane with lots of decoy chaff."
"No. Even if we fooled the missiles, they still have their magic bullet."
A childish voice came from above them. "What if it was MAGIC decoy chaff?" Integra and Walter looked up in shock, and found Joshua's head poking out of the ceiling. He smiled guiltily at them. "Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear. Care to fill me in on the situation?"
Integra frowned at the upside-down boy head. "What are you doing here Kiryu?"
Joshua snickered at the most obvious joke he could come up with, and decided to keep it to himself. "London is a really big place. Setting up random portals is the best way for me to search through it all at the moment. I just so happened to come across you two in my wanderings. What are the odds?"
"Suspiciously low," Walter said. Joshua smiled again. "However this does present us with a new option, Sir Integra. Young master Joshua is capable of traveling incredible distances in very little time with his portals. What if we sent Master Alucard through one of them onto the ship?"
"Out of the question," Joshua said instantly. His eyes glazed over and his smile smoothed out.
"It is the best option we have," Integra agreed. She turned to Joshua's head. "If you were given a set of coordinates, could you send Alucard to a specific location within the hour Kiryu?"
"I don't think you heard me," Joshua grinned humorlessly at Integra. "Out. Of the. Question."
"Excuse me?" Integra's eyes narrowed. "Are you going to disobey a direct order Kiryu?"
"You misunderstand, Madam Hellsing," Joshua said innocently. "This is a Dead Hole, made for Reaper Lords and their living or non-living guests. The moment your vampire commando crossed through the boundary, he'd be torn apart by the souls of the dead and never reach his destination."
A sinister laugh came from Integra's shadow, and Alucard reared his head at Joshua. "I will survive," he said.
Joshua's grin widened. "Would you like to test that?" A small portal opened up on the wall beside Alucard, barely large enough to fit his hat through. "Place your hand in the portal, see what happens."
Alucard glanced at the small opening and slid this gloved hand in without hesitation. Within a second his face morphed into a toothy scowl and he tore his arm out of the portal. His hand was a bloody stump.
"See?" Joshua said with an air of satisfaction. "Undead cannot use Dead Holes. It's a stretch to even allow the living."
"Damn," Integra cursed her luck. The one time she could have best used this power. "Then this is impossible!"
"Not quite," Walter said, struck by a new idea. "There is an aircraft that is up to the task."
"Well then, I suppose my presence is no longer necessary. Fair well friends!" And with that Joshua pulled his head up through the ceiling and out of the portal, closing it. He looked down with mild disgust at the hand he had removed from the vampire and tossed it down into the abyss. It would end up somewhere, eventually. Maybe.
"The last thing I need is for that vampire to be here and get in the way of Seras' enthroning. An extended leave of absence in the middle of the ocean will do him just fine." Joshua turned and continued his search through the portals.
"Ah, c'est parfait!" Bernadotte weighed a five-shot revolver in his hands. "Here you are cadet, try this on for size." He handed the gun over to Neku, who was currently being measured for a newly tailored ammunition belt. The tailor was struggling to find space on his body to fit an adequately sized strap. "Heavier than it looks, no?"
"Yeah…" Neku mumbled, looking at his reflection in the polished metal. The last time he'd held a gun was when he got shot back to life. Neku still wasn't sure how that worked, but he didn't have a lot of good experience with guns. "Is this really necessary?"
"Bien sûr," Bernadotte replied through a puff of smoke. "You may have your fancy magic accessories, but nothing kills a man better than a bullet between the eyes! And most of these bullets are blessed by the church, making them deadly to any vampire shit." He smiled and pulled out his pistol as an example.
"Besides, every man needs his gun."
"Heh, I don't know captain," the tailor said. "I don't think this Jap's ever had much firepower to begin with!" Bernadotte and the tailor laughed dirtily while Neku considered how much force he could put into his knee in the few inches between it and the man's jawline. But then he got a different idea.
"You say what you will," Neku started with a grin. "But if you ever want to replace that filthy rag on your head with some real hair, my 'firepower' can spare some." Bernadotte laughed again as the tailor felt his toupee gingerly.
"Haha, très bien cadet. You'll get along nicely with the other men. Although I have one question." He pulled out his cigarette and looked intensely at Neku. "Does your carpet match your drapes, because if so I must think you've killed any woman you've bedded!" Bernadotte laughed grandly to himself, and Neku and the tailor joined in.
"Hello?" Joshua said. Another highway. A truck drove right through him, and nobody saw a thing. He pulled his head back through the portal and closed it.
Urgency and disappointment were starting to creep into Joshua's mind. He'd never considered himself an impatient man, he thought he was too old for that. But it had only been a couple hours and already he was starting to panic a little. The Players still weren't out, and he'd been through so many portals at this point the constant relocation was making him sick. So Joshua turned off his flying and let himself fall for a while.
It wasn't for too long, just until Joshua reached what he thought was terminal velocity. Judging speed in the dark was tough, so he overshot it a little. He didn't care too much, Joshua just enjoyed the sensation of falling. He'd decided that it was better than flying: flying meant you had to propel yourself all the time, constantly fighting against every force at once. It was refreshing to just let gravity do its job every once in awhile and take a break from controlling everything.
Joshua laughed at himself. "Old habits die hard," he supposed.
"Non non, cadet." Bernadotte and Neku were outside at the gun range with the other soldiers, training. "Don't hold both sides of the grip, you'll lose your balance. Hold the bottom with your non-dominant hand as a base, it keeps your aim steady, comprendre? And bend your elbows a bit, you look like the gun is holding you."
Neku made the suggested adjustments. "Better?"
"Oui," Bernadotte nodded. "Now just match the sight with the center of the target and pull the trigger. And don't close one of your eyes, that doesn't help."
Neku did what he said, and he really tried. He lined up the sight, steadied his breath, and spaced out his feet to prepare for the recoil. And then when he squeezed the revolver's trigger, there was a click and nothing happened.
"Hey, kid," one of the soldiers leered at him. "Here's a tip: pull back the hammer." A few men started laughing, and Neku blushed lightly. Bernadotte chuckled beside him.
I shouldn't have let these shits think they could keep me prisoner, Neku thought spitefully. Now they're getting smart. He quickly pulled back the hammer and re-centered his aim. Neku emptied his five shots into the wooden target, gradually gaining some momentum.
"Hmm," Bernadotte examined the shots thoughtfully. "Not bad cadet. All five actually hit the wood." Neku grinned and examined the chunk of metal in his palm, empty and innocuous. Suddenly he started getting ideas.
"Heh, you think that's good kid?" A soldier raised his gun beside Neku. "Watch this." He fired off twelve shots, all of them landing somewhere on the bullseye. He holstered his gun, clearly pleased with himself. "What do you think of that? Pretty cool huh?"
"Yeah," Neku said. He pulled out a bullet from his pocket, briefly tapping it against a pin before loading it into the chamber. "Now you watch this." He went through the steps in his mind and fired the bullet. This one landed a little more centered than the others, but that didn't matter so much to Neku.
The Eggshelled-bullet exploded seconds after it stuck in the wood, sending shrapnel out in a fiery ball. There was a general duck-and-cover as the wooden chips rained down on the shocked troops.
"Merde…" Bernadotte warily watched the spot where his target had been. "Magic exploding bullets. Impressionnant cadet."
"Uh, thanks. I think."
"What, you can learn perfect English in Japan but you didn't bother to learn a single word in French?"
"Well yeah, English is a required course. I'm not sure they even offered French."
Bernadotte sighed. "Pas étonnant que personne ne baise au Japon, il leur manque la langue de l'amour!"
Neku was getting annoyed now. "Watashi no tawagoto no gengo o rikai shite imasen."
"Heh," Bernadotte smiled. "I understood 'shite.' Touché cadet, touché." He laughed again, either ignoring Neku's irritation or completely unaware of it. Neku decided to let it be and moved over to a different target. He reloaded the revolver and made a few shots, then holstered the gun and went back inside. Neku wanted some dinner.
Omake time!
Yeah we ended up with more portal shenanigans that didn't make it in. So we decided to make fun of it more! Enjoy!
Joshua looked at the portals in front of him. Each of them took him to a different parts of London. "This is really a gamble. Then again I already expected it too after opening 537 Portals" He muttered to himself. Well no use talking to my self lets see where these take me. He quickly looked into the first portal he saw.
Joshua looked into a portal. "Hello?
"Oh my God Joshua get out get out get out!" Seras spun away and covered her chest in a panic.
Joshua blushed heavily. "Sorry!" He retracted and hurriedly closed the portal. "... Huh. British girls, who knew?"
He opens another portal.
Hello? He sees a cultist sacrificial ceremony.
Hmm... remember that one for later
He went to another one to take a look.
"Hello?"he didn't get a reply but a saw a man with a with a Brown Top Hat talking to a younger boy with a blue cap.
"Professah mind helping me with this puzzle?" The young boy asked his mentor.
The Top hat man nodded and looked at the puzzle carefully quickly solving the answer in his head.
"Well Luke I do believe the answer i-"
He is interrupted by a mysterious voice "The black and white cat would go opposite direction. Even if they tried that same road the hole that they go through would still change their direction due to the angle of it." The man turned around to see no one. All he saw was his young assistant. "Whats wrong Professah?" The young boy asked while a worried look formed on his face. It's nothing my boy. I guess I thought I heard something. Now about that puzzle." Joshua closed the portal to leave the duo to their puzzle.
He then opened another portal to see a woman typing at her keyboard. She typing furiously while listening to what he assumed to be video game music. "Crap I'm seriously late to post this. Damn it this is why I hate freaking game night because I forget my schedule for posting!" the girl quickly log onto what seems like a fan site.
Joshua quickly closes the portal leaving the girl to her own devices. "Fan writers probably the busiest and weirdest people I've met in my life."He says to himself.
He opened one last one before he went to the one where he heard Integra voice.
He saw a group of players with Gameboys. Some of the player must of been awake before there daily mission.
"Do you have Mew?" one of the players asked another. He decided to mess with them a bit he remembered this era of Pokemon.
"Try using strength near the truck by the SS Anne I heard ones hiding under there." He said to them. And then left seeing them all extremely happy to get the rare Pokemon. "Huh they were right I guess gamers back then did believe anything."
He then looked into the next portal to see what was going on with Integra.
As always guys Review, follow, and Favorite! By the way you are awesome if you guessed who the Top Hat Professor was!