Avery yawned and stretched in her bed, rolling over and looking out the window where the birds were perched on a telephone wire. She giggled and waved at them, then tumbled out of her bed and rubbed at her eyes as she walked across the hall to check on her brothers. She stopped part way there and went into the bathroom, standing on the stepstool so she could see herself in the mirror.

"Mornin' Avery," she said, patting her messy hair down. "Be a good day."

With that self encouragement, she stepped off the stool and went into the boys room. Colton was sleeping pretty hard but Ben was just waking up and he smiled at her, patting the bed next to him.

"Wanna come snuggle with me, sissy?"

"No. I dirty diaper. Snuggle mama daddy."

"Oh. What did you come in here for?"

"Hungry."

"I could make you some cereal! You want some cereal sissy?"

"Yes. Most cereal?"

"Most cereal? What's that mean?"

"She means lots," Colton groaned, rolling over. "You kids should not talk so loud."

"Hey, you're a kid too Cole."

"Yeah Coley!"

"Whatever," he muttered, rolling over and going back to sleep.

"Well sissy, it's 'ficial. Cole is a teenager with attitude."

"Teenager?"

"Daddy says teenager is what happens when you get snotty. It comes after kid. I am a kid. You are a baby."

"No! Ben I not baby!"

"But sissy-"

"No!"

She shoved his shoulder and ran out of the room while he shouted at her to let him explain. She ignored him and thundered up the stairs, shoving Lindsay and Adam's door open and running to the side of their bed.

"Mornin' Avery," Lindsay sighed, not even opening her eyes.

"Hello mama. Daddy?"

"Hey sweetie. Why are you up at six in the morning?"

"Hungry daddy."

"I should have known," he said, burying his face in his pillow while Lindsay leaned down to help Avery into the bed.

"Oh honey you have a stinky diaper."

"Yes," Avery agreed, climbing over her so she could settle in the middle of the bed. She nudged Adam's arm and grunted until he hugged her and kissed her cheek.

"That better," she sighed. "Mama hands."

Lindsay reached over and held Avery's small hands in hers and the three of them were just drifting back to sleep when the door swung open again and Ben stood there, his hands on his hips.

"Mama, daddy, Cole's bein' a teenager. He just said that I was irritatin' him!"

"Maybe he's just kind of cranky this morning."

"Well can I come and get in bed with y'all?"

"Sure, climb on up."

He hopped onto the bed then looked down at Avery and sighed.

"Well sissy if you had not run away I woulda been able to 'splain to you what I meaned when I said you were a baby. Now listen with rapt attention."

Avery's eyes grew big and she stared at him while Adam and Lindsay tried to hide their laughter.

"Now I said you were a baby because you are little and cute. I didn't mean you are a baby like one what can't do anything. Do you understand me?"

"Ben like Avery?"

"Of course I like you! You're my sissy. But sometimes I wanna just make you small so I can protect you better. You make me feel precious."

Avery nodded and Ben reached out to stroke her face.

"I sure love you sissy. And don't you forget that okay?"

"Okay Ben."

He gave a little nod and snuggled in next to her.

"Now, what do you want to do today?"

"Play, Ben. Kitchen?"

"Okay! 'Member the game we were playing yesterday? Feedin' the lumberjacks?"

"Yes. Again?"

"Yep, let's go."

They clambered off the bed and out of the room, leaving Lindsay and Adam to stare at each other and yawn.

"We have morning breath."

"Meh."

He chuckled and leaned over to kiss her forehead.

"Your hair is a mess. And you don't have make-up on. And the shirt you're wearing is about ten sizes too big."

"And?"

"I love you."

"I'm not sure if I love you, mentioning all my early morning faults so smoothly, as if you've been thinking about it forever."

"Well I do wake up to you every morning."

"Adam."

"What, that's my point."

"What is?"

"I still wake up next to you every morning. So I must think you're pretty awesome."

"You have sleep goop in both your eyes."

"And there's Paul Harvey with the rest of the story."

She giggled and leaned up to kiss him, running her fingers through his hair.

"You're pretty handsome, did you know that?"

"I figured."

She smiled and slid her hand over his chest, then snuggled in close to him.

"I have to get up in half an hour. Why does Avery always come up here and wake me up before the alarm?"

"Because she's Avery," Adam answered. "Might as well get up. Have yourself a fancy cup of coffee while you have time."

"You gonna make it for me?"

"If you'll let me share."

She smiled and got as far as throwing the blankets off before she flopped back down on the bed. Adam rolled his eyes and propped his head up on his arm, having been certain that the promise of coffee would have gotten her out of bed. She tossed her legs gently over him and closed her eyes, wanting just five minutes more of sleep.

"You have to be to work in two hours," he said softly, teasingly as he wandered his fingers over her calves.

"Shut up."

"That means you have to leave in an hour and a half."

"Adam, stop it."

"You need to get up really soon."

"Junk. Knock it off."

He chuckled and leaned down to drop small kisses to each of her knees.

"What are you doing?" she asked with an eyebrow raise.

"I like your knees. They're cute."

"Why are you weird?"

"Because if I wasn't then I wouldn't have ever caught your eye."

The look she gave him was so similar to Austin's "Really?" look that he snorted with laughter.

"I gotta get moving," she said with a sigh and a side-long glance at him. "Don't pull me back into bed."

"But… why not?"

"Because of reasons, okay?"

"Reasons?"

"You can pull me into bed when I get home tonight, okay?"

"Totally understand."

She smiled and leaned over to kiss him, then got out of bed, feeling readier to face the day because of the look in his eyes.

"Jo, we got a match on the epithelials on the belt from the Deerhurst case," Lindsay announced all in one excited breath. "He's got a record a mile long in Jersey, violent crimes that seem to have escalated in the last three years."

"What's his name?"

"Peter Holland. He was just released two months ago, staying with his cousin in the city. I just sent his DNA through again to see if it matches the DNA we pulled off the clothes Shea gave us. Flack is getting a warrant right now."

"You look better than you've looked in weeks."

"I feel like this is it. Like we finally caught him."

"I have a good feeling too. Should we head over and see about that warrant?"

"Don't have to," Flack said, stepping into the room. "Hot off the presses."

"If the rest of the DNA has run through, want to grab me another one?"

"Austin's waiting for your call right now. She said ride along with the second warrant if we need it."

"Do you want to call Shea?" Jo asked, pulling her coat on. "You said you'd keep her updated."

"I want to be sure first. It won't help her if we're not sure," Lindsay replied softly, finding her own coat and looking over the warrant.

"I've got your DNA results back," one of the young techs reported, bounding into the room and handing Lindsay a file of papers. "There was a match from the DNA on the clothing to Peter Holland."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Thanks."

The tech nodded and made her way out of the room while Flack called Austin letting her know that they would need the second arrest warrant.

"Okay ladies, let's jet."

Jo and Lindsay just stared at him for a short moment before leading the way out of the room.

The drive was long in traffic, and Lindsay's stomach was nervous with apprehension and excitement. The very first time she went to arrest someone she felt bad about the excitement. Putting someone in jail was the right thing to do, but to find a joy in it seemed wrong. It wasn't until much later when she realized that it was okay to feel that way, to revel in the pride of serving justice.

This time was a lot more personal for some reason that she couldn't put her finger on, and instead of feeling like it was a point for the justice system, she felt like it was more of a private victory. There was just something about this one.

"Linds, you coming?"

"Oh. Yeah."

They got out of the car and waited on the sidewalk for Flack and Austin, who had apparently bickered the entire drive over, as usual. Flack's face was red and Austin was blowing her hair off her forehead in annoyance, but as soon as they secured their weapons and checked for their handcuffs, they fell into their more professional roles.

Making their way up the rickety front porch, Flack knocked forcefully on the front door, which seemed to shudder at the power of it, almost coming open on its own, even though it was definitely locked.

"Peter Holland, NYPD. Open up!"

"He's not here," came a call from inside as the door was unlocked. "I'm his cousin Hugh."

"Where is he at?"

"I don't know. Went out last night, I haven't seen him this morning. Is he in trouble?"

"Oh yeah he's in trouble. Any way of getting ahold of him?"

"He's got a cell phone but he never answers. He had a meeting with his parole officer later today I think."

"We've got a warrant for his arrest and to search through his stuff."

"By all means," Hugh said, standing aside and letting them come in. "He's been staying in that room over there."

They made their way over to the room he indicated, finding it mostly empty, but still a total mess.

"I'd arrest him just for this pigsty," Jo muttered, making a face and kicking a pair of dirty boxers aside. "If Tyler ever got this messy I think I would disown him."

"You'd better never peek into my kids rooms then. Especially Isa's. Hers is worse," Austin said, thinking of how she'd seen the room that morning with clothes and toys and other things scattered onto every flat surface, Isa sitting in the middle of it all with her nose buried in a book and her hair tangled.

"It's organized chaos," Lindsay argued. "That's what she told me, though I doubt she knows what that means except she's pretty sure of which pile her shoes are under."

Austin chuckled as they combed through the room, looking for anything that could tie Holland back to the murder and rape. They bagged up the three pairs of shoes he had, most of his clothing, his toothbrush and comb, and several other odds and ends that would either hold DNA or could possibly be placed at the scene.

"Hey, what's goin' on out there?"

All four of them looked up from what they were doing and listened to the voice of the person that had just come through the front door.

"What are you talking about?" Hugh asked, his act of innocence not at all believable.

There was a moment of silence and then the sound of feet pounding towards the door. The four of them took off out of the room and through the front hallway, in pursuit of Holland who was headed for the front door. Jo caught up to him first but just barely, her fingers clamping around his ear. He yelped in pain and tired to get away, sending a clenched fist towards her. She didn't move fast enough and it knocked the wind out of her and she lost most of the grip she had on him. It was no matter though, as Lindsay grabbed him from behind and tackled him to the floor, his face smashing against the door frame and the screen door coming back to hit him on the top of the head.

"It wasn't me!"

"What wasn't you, Pete?" Flack asked, training his gun on the man should Lindsay lose her grip.

"Whatever you're here for!"

Lindsay ground her knee into his back and reached out for a pair of handcuffs. Austin dropped them into her hand and she cuffed him tightly, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Lemme guess. You were a sprinter, not a distance runner, huh Petey?"

"Shut up!"

"Peter Holland, you're under arrest for the rape of Shea Sanders and the murder of Alan Deerhurst."

Austin continued to Mirandize him as she and Flack took him outside and loaded him into the SUV they'd brought, then called for backup to secure the scene. Jo and Lindsay moved back inside, finding Hugh on the couch, his eyes wide.

"He really… did that?"

They just nodded and moved back into the bedroom, collecting the bags of evidence they'd found so far, and continuing on with the rest.

"You alright Linds?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You're not but you don't want to talk about it."

Lindsay chewed on her lip as she found another shoe under the bed and put it in an evidence bag.

"I'm fine. I am able to do my job, I am mentally sound. Don't worry about it."

"I'm not worrying about you as a co-worker Lindsay. I'm worried about you as a friend."

"I know you are. But we're working right now."

"Okay."

They continued their work in silence for quite a while, Jo stealing worried glances at Lindsay and Lindsay refusing to look in her direction. It wasn't a fight, but neither one of them was very good at disagreeing and leaving it alone.

But the time a second wave of CSI's came, Lindsay and Jo had gathered up probably everything that would yield any evidence at all. They loaded everything up into the car and headed back to the lab quietly, even through the heavy traffic. Eventually Jo leaned over and turned the radio on, making the silence a little less awkward.

"It's not that I don't want to talk to you," Lindsay started quickly. "It's just that I don't quite understand it right now I and I need to close this case before I start to muddle through my own head."

"I'm not nagging you, Lindsay. I'm really not. You just haven't been yourself."

"I know. But I'm okay. And someday I will tell you everything, but I have to be ready to say it. I can't just spit it out."

"That's normal. And as long as you're really okay, I'm not going to worry about it."

"Thanks."

"Now, do you want to call Shea or should I?"

"I call her when we get back to the lab."

"So it's really him?"

"Yeah, we got him."

Shea nodded and kept staring at the floor as they walked down the hallway. She identified Holland in a lineup, no hesitation or stuttering, just a point blank identification. Lindsay was proud of her for doing it without wavering, for being so sure of herself.

"Will I have to testify?"

"I don't know yet. We have your written statement and hopefully that will be enough, but I can't guarantee anything."

"Is he going to be tried separately for each crime?"

"I think so."

"So… my job is done? I can put it behind me?"

"You can start. Can I give you a ride home?"

"No. I'll take a cab."

"It's raining, it will take you forever to get one. Let me take you."

Shea hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

"Okay."

Shea was quiet then entire time in the car and Lindsay didn't want to push her to talk so she didn't say much either. The rain was coming down in sheets by the time they arrived at Shea's apartment and suddenly Lindsay felt like she desperately needed to say something, anything.

"Shea, are you alright?"

"Yes. I'm fine."

"What are you thinking about? I know all this is hard and…"

She let her words trail off because she didn't know what she could possibly say to make it better.

"If I hadn't been there, this wouldn't have happened. That poor kid would still be alive. It's not my fault but it feels like it. And I have to life with that forever. So yeah, I'm fine."

"Do you want-"

"No, I don't want anything. Thanks for the ride."

She got out of the car quickly and slammed the door behind her leaving Lindsay to wonder if she was uncomfortable or mad or any number of other things. She sat there in the running car for awhile before realizing she was double parked, and heading home. She'd just have to give Shea a call in the morning when things had time to simmer down.

The kids were all cranky when she arrived home. Adam had only been home for ten minutes and reported that Freddie had had a rough day with the kids. Colton was grumpy and quiet, except the times when one of the other kids annoyed him. Ben was sad about it and wouldn't stop whining, while Avery screamed at the top of her lungs to be noticed. Lindsay stood in the doorway taking it all in, wishing she could run back out the door.

"Mama Cole hates me!" Ben wailed, running across the room and throwing himself into her arms.

"I don't hate you Ben, just leave me alone!"

"You don't like me if you don't wanna be around me!"

"Ben! Leave me alone!"

"See mama he's talkin' so mean to me."

"Mean!" Avery shouted, jumping up and down on the couch, one pigtail falling out of its bow.

"Avery, I said to stop jumping on the couch," Adam grumbled, taking her down. "Two minutes on the step."

Grunting and balling her fists, she stomped over to the stairs and sat down, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Colton, you need to speak nicely to your brother and Ben, you need to give Colton some space."

"But daddy-"

"Benjamin, that's what I said and that's the way it is."

"Well that's fine but what is you gonna do 'bout my feelings?"

"Ben-"

"I want results!"

"Benjamin Ryan Ross, that is no way to talk to your daddy. Go take your step for five minutes."

He burst into tears but went to sit on his step. Avery reached up and patted his foot, but he didn't acknowledge her, and she pulled her hand away again in anger.

"And as for you mister, what's going on?" Lindsay asked, sitting down on the couch next to Colton. He kept the frown on his face and didn't answer, curling into the couch and staring at the wall.

"Son, your mama asked you something."

"I'm in a bad mood because me and Isa had a fight and we're not friends anymore okay?"

His eyes filled with tears and he tried to blink them away while Lindsay pulled him into her arms.

"I know you're upset honey. And I'm sorry that you feel bad and you're hurt. But that is no reason for you to speak meanly to your brother and sister, okay?"

"Okay."

"Do you want to talk about it?'

He sighed and nodded.

"I told Isa that I like another girl. She got mad at me and said I only liked her until I met someone else to like more. And I said that if she really thought that then maybe we weren't best friends. And she said okay. And now we're not friends. And I miss her a lot in my heart."

"Buddy, that's a lot to deal with. Why didn't you tell me and mama?"

"Because I don't like talkin' about it. It makes my stomach feel bad."

"Sometimes, once you start talking about it, you feel better."

"I would just like to forget about it for tonight. Can we play Monopoly?"

"Sure buddy. Why don't you go get it while mama and I deal with the time outs."

Colton jumped up and went to the game cupboard while Lindsay and Adam went to the stairs.

"Averylin, do you know why you're on the step?"

"Jump on couch. Daddy no."

"You disobeyed, didn't you?"

"Jump on couch play!"

"I know sometimes we let you jump on the couch, but today I told you no."

"Oh," she said with a nod. "Obey."

"Yes, you need to obey."

"Sorry daddy."

"I forgive you Tink."

"Hug now," she said, wrapping her little arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. "Love daddy."

"I love you too. Go help Colton."

She scampered back into the living room, leaving them alone with Ben, who was still sitting on the stair, his face buried in his arms as he cried.

"Ben?"

"I am just very upset right now and I would like to be left alone at the moment."

"Are upset that you're in trouble or are you upset about your feelings getting hurt?"

"Can't I be upset about both? I'm a very sensitive boy!"

Adam couldn't help laughing and had to get up and walk into the kitchen as to not disturb their sensitive child further.

"Ben, you need to stop crying."

"I've had a hard day mama."

"I know honey. But if you keep thinking about how bad it was, you might miss something good. Now, do you know why you're on the step?"

"Because my tone of voice to daddy was not nice. I'm sorry about that. Daddy, I'm sorry 'bout that!"

Adam came out of the kitchen and held Ben tightly in his arms.

"I forgive you Ben. Let's try to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Okay daddy."

"Now, do you want to be on my team for Monopoly?"

"Yeah! Could we be the iron?"

Adam nodded and they went into the living room where Colton had set up the board and Avery was sorting the money by color.

"Mama see! Avery do!"

"Good job sweetie. Want to be on my team?"

"Uh-huh! Be this?"

"Sure, we can be the thimble. Come sit in my lap."

They all sat down around the table to play and were halfway through the game when Lindsay's phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Linds, you need to get to the hospital."

"What? Why? Jo, what's going on?"

"Shea's here. She tried to kill herself."

"What?" Lindsay asked again, moving Avery off her lap and standing up. "When?"

"She was brought in a little bit ago. Lindsay, it's a gunshot wound to the head. They're trying everything but she's not going to make it."

"I'll be right there."

She hung up the phone without saying goodbye, her heart in her throat. She should have known.

"Babe?"

"I gotta go. I don't know when I'll be home."

"Call me later."

"Okay."

And with that she breezed out the door into the cold and rainy night.