Chapter 20
This chapter Wayne and Grace visit and I will say Lisbon will be better in this chapter. Yes, I realize that Lisbon wasn't herself in the last and some in this chapter and was a little OOC but I need Lisbon to deal with some issue but she'll be back to normal.
For Evilin, the guest who wondered about this: I'm having Jane and Lisbon use formula because I'm more familiar with formula feeding than breastfeeding. The people I know who's had babies used formula. I just used the feeding method I knew. Where I'm from in the U.S. it's common for people to choose formula as a feeding option also. I didn't think breastfeeding fit their lifestyle once I read about it with Lisbon being a FBI agent and couldn't picture Lisbon wanting to do that. I also didn't want to do it because Jane is going to be involved greatly with the care of the baby and I wanted him to be involved with feeding.
Disclaimer: Don't Own Anything
"Amazing Grace, I didn't think you'd actually show up at the door. I meant to talk to her on the phone. And you, Wayne." Jane said smiling surprised seeing his friends. He enveloped a hug around Grace and then he did the same with Wayne. "It's so good to see you two."
"We needed to be here to help you as well as Lisbon. You look exhausted." Grace noticing Jane's tired looking eyes after finishing their hug.
"It's really not a big deal to me, I'm used to hardly any sleep. Who's taking care of your kids?" Jane asked.
"Sarah has them. She's really good with Maddie as well." Wayne said. "How is Lisbon? She's still bad."
"She's really bad. I've never seen her so depressed. She's given up and I don't know what to do." Jane said just letting himself burst into tears. Right away Grace gave him a big hug. "Hey, it'll be alright." Wayne hugged him as well. "We're going to help you."
The sound of the baby crying interrupted them.
"Oh, I better check on her." Jane said wipe his face starting to go toward the nursery. Grace right away went to follow Jane and Wayne followed his wife.
"Jane, I'll get her for you." Grace volunteered going up to Jane.
"I can do it, Grace." Jane protested.
"Jane, I know you're being a very good father, but you need to rest and take care of yourself. Wayne and I are on baby duty now." Grace reminded.
"I can do it. I've been doing it all day." Jane refused the help again.
"I never thought I'd say this considering that's all we did was trying to get you off your couch, but Patrick Jane, to your couch now!" Grace ordered pointing to the couch in the living room.
"Yes, boss." Jane saluted finally listening as he made his way to the couch and finally laying on the couch putting his hands behind his head and he looked at her going to the nursery by him and Lisbon's closed bedroom. "You've become such an authoritarian. Sweet, innocent Grace."
"Got to with Wayne and the kids." Grace gave a smirk to her husband.
"Hey, Grace, I'm good." Wayne protested.
"Sure, Always eating tacos from the taco truck before dinner. That's good alright." Grace said sarcastically. "Oh, Wayne get a bottle ready." Grace said going into the nursery. Grace went to the crib and carefully picked up Lisby Michelle. "Hello, sweetie, I'm Grace, I'm your mommy and daddy's friend. Your daddy needs to rest and your mommy doesn't feel good. So, you get to spend some time with me. Let's see what you need." Grace said. Grace changed the baby on the changing table and carefully carried her in the living room. Jane was giving orders on where things were in the kitchen to Wayne. Wayne finally found everything and prepared the bottle bringing the bottle to Grace who found herself in the rocking easy chair and she started feeding the baby. The baby reacted instantly to the feel of the nipple of the bottle and started sucking peacefully. Grace held the small week old baby of Jane and Lisbon's. She was beautiful. She remembered the joy she felt when Jane called to announce the beautiful birth. Grace Rigsby was literally so happy for her former boss and the consultant. As soon as Jane called over the news of the birth of their baby,she jumped with excitement. They deserved this happiness after all these years, really Jane deserved it after years of feeling guilt, she knew. She recalled his pain after the birth of Ben. Nobody knew it, but she saw his expression of hidden deep pain of losing his own child hidden behind his smile as he walked to his couch. But the night he called about the birth, he was filled with deep happiness and joy of the birth of his new child. It was a great moment for her. When she and Wayne received a text and picture her heart leapt with happiness also seeing her former boss happy.
Now they were here trying to help Jane out with the baby while Lisbon was in a severely depressed state. She remembered the joy Lisbon felt at the baby shower and love she already felt for her unborn
child. Grace didn't know what happened with Teresa now, but postpartum depression seemed to hit her friend hard with a vengeance. Grace was going to help her get out of it, hopefully.
Wayne and Grace asked about Teresa and when she started feeling depressed. Jane explained to them that she had been feeling down for a week, today was the first really bad day.
"Do you want me to talk to her yet? She hasn't been out here, I'm surprised. Certainly, she could hear us." Grace noticed the closed door.
"You could try. She's only been out a couple times today. Early this morning and late this morning when I told her to eat breakfast. After that, she hasn't been willing to come out." Jane explained sadly. "I guess earlier, I told her she needed to rest. I probably shouldn't of done that."
"You did what you thought was right at time. Anybody would've told her that. Don't blame yourself." Grace reassured.
"Hey, guys, do you want me to pickup takeout?" Wayne offered sitting in the other chair. "We certainly don't expect you to do anything, Jane. Since, we kind of came in unexpected."
"I'd welcome it, Wayne. I haven't eaten since breakfast, more like brunch since it was around 11:00." Jane admitted.
"Did Lisbon eat then?" Grace asked still holding the baby, who had stopped sucking on the bottle and now asleep. Grace noticed.
"A little. I had to make her, she needs to get out of it." Jane said sadly looking towards the bedroom. Then looked towards his friends. "Have you got a place to stay?" Jane asked.
"No, we haven't. This was a last minute trip. We got on the plane and didn't think about lodging."Grace said carefully getting up and taking the baby to the nursery and setting her in the crib. She walked out again and sat in the chair.
"Jane, do you want us stay here or we could get a motel." Wayne asked not wanting to intrude.
"You could stay if you want. We don't have anything ready for guests." Jane admitted.
"Jane, do you want us to stay?" Grace asked carefully stroking the baby's head the baby relaxing.
"Well, you know the baby will wake up late and early. That's her schedule." Jane said.
"That's a not a problem, we're used to it with Maddie. We'll only stay if you want us too." Wayne said concerned.
"I want you to stay, since you're here." Jane admitted.
"We want to help you and we can camp out here. We can sleep on the floor and the couch." Grace said.
"The couch does pull out into a bed. I believe Teresa picked it out." Jane said looking towards the bedroom. "I may have to camp out with you two or in the nursery. I'm not sure if she'll let me in the room."
"You should be able to stay in your own room. You're being the responsible one." Wayne said realizing his words came out more coldly than anticipated about his former boss. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be, Wayne, I'm starting to get frustrated. She needs to get out of this somehow like I said before." Jane said looking the door again. The three of them ordered Thai and Wayne went out to get it like he said he would and came back with it.
Lisbon's sleep was interrupted when she heard other voices in the house. She looked at the time revealing it was nearly 8:00 at night. Maybe it was Jane watching TV. Usually, Jane was always watching some animal documentary on Animal Planet and spouting off the facts he learned during commercial breaks because she usually didn't pay attention to it. They were human voices prompting her to slide out the bed. She opened the door and came out. Her face was tear streaked and red and eyes puffy from the crying and her hair was messed up and she was in her maternity pajamas. She looked to see Patrick on the couch and Wayne and Grace Rigsby eating out of takeout boxes at the table. "What's going on?" She asked. Everyone looked towards her. Jane instantly jumped off the couch at the sound of his wife's voice and instantly went up to her. Wayne and Grace just kept eating but they would sneak up glances at the couple.
"Why are they here?" Lisbon asked seriously.
"They just came, they want to help us." Jane admitted.
"They had to come for a reason." Lisbon looked at him seriously.
"I did call Grace to see if she could talk to you about what you're going through. I was thinking she would just call. They came on their own initiative." Jane explained. Even though she didn't know what to think about the Rigsbys being there, she was at least talking. That was good. "We got takeout from your favorite Thai place. You should eat something."
"I'm not hungry." Teresa refused. "Where's my gun from the drawer?"
He was surprised at the question considering she had agreed to keep her guns locked up in the cabinet, since they now had a child.
"I locked the guns up. I don't trust you with a gun in this state." Jane seriously said. "Remember we agreed to keep them locked up now since we have a child."
"But it's mine. You can't just take it away." Lisbon said angrily.
"It's for your protection. I want to keep you safe." Jane reminded. And our child. He thought. "I don't need protection. And I don't need help." Lisbon yelled.
"You need to get out of this monster depression. I've never seen you like this and it's not healthy. I can't be the only one being responsible now. This isn't you at all, Teresa. You've always been the responsible one, the logical one. You're worrying me. Snap out of it now!" Jane exclaimed.
"I can't!" Lisbon exclaimed and went inside the room and slammed the door. He sighed a frustrated sigh and tears began forming.
Grace immediately got up from the table and walked up to Jane. "I'm so sorry, Jane. She really is bad." Grace had tears forming in her eyes. "She can't have the gun in this state." Carefully wiping her tears. "Maybe I should go talk to her now."
"You can try. She was actually the one suggested locking up her guns and got the cabinet ready. I made sure they were locked up today. " Jane said. "It has to be the depression talking." He then went ahead and walked to the table with Wayne.
Grace carefully opened the door. She saw Lisbon in the bed with the blanket over her head. "Go away, Jane." Lisbon shouted from the bed.
"It's me, Grace." Grace said softly. "Jane's really worried about you. He just wants you to get better because he loves you." Grace sat at the end of the bed. Lisbon carefully pulled the blanket off her body and moved into a cross legged position.
"I don't think I can, Grace." Lisbon said frowning.
"Yes, you can and you will. I went through a little depression after Maddie was born. Maybe not quite as intense as you." Grace admitted giving a little smile letting her friend know she had been in the same boat.
"You did?" Lisbon asked feeling relieved Grace went through the same thing.
"Yes, what happens you get on a high for so long with the joy of your baby's arrival and the baby comes and you're trying to adjust to a whole new lifestyle. What are you feeling now? " Grace asked.
Lisbon thought about if she should answer. Grace was her friend and Jane was right, she had gone through some depression. "I feel angry. Mostly at myself." She didn't know why she was feeling so angry, it didn't make sense. She was fine with the baby in the beginning.
"But why are you taking it out on Jane? He's taking responsibility of the baby. He's trying to help you." Grace questioned seriously looking at Lisbon.
"I'm not a very good mother. I make mistakes and he's so much better than me with her than I, he's done it before, even though he lost it. It's so natural to him." Lisbon explained tearfully. "I guess I'm a little jealous."
"When I had Maddie, Wayne had experience too with Ben. I felt inadequate some of the time, I was learning. Wayne helped me with it and I've adjusted well, and you can too. It's challenging and Jane will help you. And I'm sure you're fine with the baby." Grace reassured.
"Right now, I feel nothing now. I can't find joy in anything." Lisbon admitted. "Last night I felt I was lost. I don't know why I'm feeling like this."
"I felt the same thing, but I continued with the same routine. You need to also." Grace explained. "You need to get out for a little while because you can't stay in here all day. This isn't you. It'll get better."
"Jane said this girl I met at the clinic called this morning too. I spent some time with her, she's a teenager that just had a baby too. She wants to see me, he said." Lisbon admitted.
"Well, you should go see her tomorrow and I would go with you. It'll be good for you." Grace said.
"I suppose, but I still feel sad." Lisbon admitted.
"I think getting out will do you some good." Grace said. "Lisby's such a sweetie, I saw her when we came, I'm just really happy for you and Jane." Grace smiled.
"Thank you, Grace. It does help to talk to you." Lisbon said then hugging her friend.
"It's no problem. I'm glad to help, Teresa." Grace smiled.
"Oh, God, I've been awful to Patrick." Lisbon realized. What had she been doing? Being angry at the person who was trying to help her. The person who was taking responsibility of their child. She needed to see him. This depression or whatever this thing was, was making her into an awful person to her husband. Grace and Patrick were right, this wasn't her. She didn't spend hours hiding out in a bedroom. She was stronger than that. Why was she letting herself get this way? She needed to take care of her child. Her daughter did nothing wrong either and it wasn't fair of her to not be responsible for her duties.
"It's okay to get tired and frustrated. Having a baby can do that to you." Grace admitted. Lisbon got off the bed and opened the door. Grace smiled at her friend and followed out. Wayne and Patrick were standing around the couch. Teresa went up to Patrick and put her arms around him. "I'm sorry. I've been so awful today." She started crying again. "I don't know what came over me."
"Teresa, I know it's been hard but we have each other." Jane said smiling at his wife. "It's the depression."
"I'll try my best." Lisbon broke the hug. "So, I heard there was some Thai takeout?" She looked at Wayne.
"Yes, boss." Wayne said grinning.
"I'm not your boss anymore."Lisbon laughed. Maybe this was what she needed. She needed to see her friends and she was starting to feel a little better. She still felt down, but if she could just allow herself to look at the solutions she needed to have to get better. Jane got some food ready for his wife and she decided she was going to eat after all. She may not feel like eating, but she was going to eat. She needed to keep her strength up. She was going to for her daughter and her husband. She sat down at the table and started eating the food. "So, Patrick, you talked to the doctor today about ways to help what I'm feeling?" Lisbon asked her husband.
"Yes, I did. For starters, it's good to talk to other people." Jane admitted. Teresa noticed Grace coming out the nursery carrying the baby. Lisbon saw the baby and started to tear up. How could she not want to take care of her daughter? What had this depression done to her? She right away went to Grace. "Here's your mommy, sweetie." Grace said smiling.
Lisbon reached out her arms and Grace handed her the baby. "I'm sorry, honey, I wasn't very good today." She held onto the baby. "I do love you." Lisbon looked up at Grace. "You and Wayne are going to stay?"
"Yes, we are." Grace said.
"I'm glad. I needed you I suppose." Teresa smiled. The former CBI team continued sitting around the table talking about old times, though the only person missing was Cho. "This is really great having you two here. You really are the best friends we could have." Lisbon said smiling.
"I agree with Teresa. Grace and Wayne, you're really are lifesavers." Jane said smiling with his big smile.
"Whenever our friends need us, we'll always be there." Grace said smiling.
"That's right." Wayne smiled.
Lisbon was feeling better after Grace talked to her. She planned to go visit Alex tomorrow since the girl wanted to see her and Grace was going to go with her. She never imagined she would get in such a depression after the baby was born and it seemed unlikely that it would happen to her but somehow it just hit her hard.
"I'm allowed in the room tonight?" Jane asked grinning as they were preparing to go to bed. They had put Lisby Michelle in the crib and both he and Teresa helped Wayne and Grace set up the pull out couch.
"You are." Lisbon lightly smiled trying to get back to herself. "I'm really sorry about last night, I know you were trying to comfort me."
"You were trying to get back at me for the past, right?" Jane asked while he was getting ready for bed.
"No, I wasn't. I wasn't myself." Lisbon said. "I never thought I would be one of those women getting depressed like that." She said getting ready for bed after she took a quick shower, since she hadn't had one the whole day.
"I suppose it was like me breaking down after Angela and Charlotte were killed." Jane admitted remembering his time in the mental institution. "I never thought that would happen to me. Being committed in the institution but I had no choice but go there. Sophie Miller helped me and you really were the one that saved me. " Jane explained getting into the bed.
"We'll get through anything together. I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen again." Lisbon admitted getting into the bed. "I love you. I appreciate you being such a good husband and father even when I'm yelling at you for no reason and not caring for our child which I should've been doing. You were right, that wasn't me. "
"It's not a problem, I'm supposed to take care of you and our child. You've had plenty of good reasons to yell at me in the past." Jane confessed grinning.
"Let's not think about the past right now. Let's think about the future." Lisbon lightly smiling kissing her husband and putting her arms around him as he returned the action.
The next day Grace and Teresa decided to take Lisby Michelle to go visit Alex and her baby. Lisbon called the girl right away the next morning and see if she could come visit. Already Lisbon was feeling much better from yesterday, as it helped to have her friends and Jane. The anger from the day before had evaporated. She was thankful for that. She couldn't stand the idea of her becoming such a monster to the one person she cared about very much and for no particular reason. Jane made breakfast in the morning for the visitors and her. Rigsby and Jane were going to do some grocery shopping and also they planned to visit Cho at the office while the girls went out.
Teresa and Grace arrived at Alex's foster family's house, the DeWinters. Grace rang the doorbell and Teresa was holding the carrier with the baby. Grace was holding the diaper bag with her necessities for the baby including a bottle with the formula. Before she left the hospital, the nurse wondered about her decision of the type of feeding. She supposed her automatic thought was to use the bottle and formula simply because she knew how much Jane would want to be involved with the feeding and caring for their child. Obviously, he had to be the responsible one yesterday as well as Grace when she came. She recalled the doctor and nurses explaining the benefits of breastfeeding and about the method, however when it came down to it, she realized it wouldn't be practical with her job as a cop when she did go back to work. Formula feeding was the best solution for their child, her, and Jane.
The door opened revealing JoAnne DeWinter, "Hello, Teresa, right?"
"Yes, I am." Lisbon answered smiling getting back to her normal self.
"Alex has talked about you all the time. She's been wanting to call you for so long, but it's been so busy." JoAnne said. "Is this your new baby?" JoAnne asked noticing Lisby in the carrier.
"Yes, Lisby Michelle." Lisbon answered looking at her daughter proudly. " This is my friend, Grace Rigsby. She came from California to visit." Lisbon looked at Grace smiling.
"Hello, I'm JoAnne DeWinter. It's nice to meet you too." JoAnne introduced herself and shook Grace's hand. "Alex is in the living room." JoAnne led them inside her home and sitting on a rocking chair was Alex with her new baby. They came to the area and got seated on the couch across from Alex and set Lisby's carrier down on the floor. Grace picked up Lisby and held her.
"Hi, Teresa. Are you feeling better? Your husband said you weren't feeling good yesterday."Alex asked concerningly smiling.
"Yes, I do. It's really helping to see my friends." Lisbon said looking at Grace and then looking towards Alex. Lisbon wanted to talk to the girl about her depression. She had to think of that this girl had been a lot through her life with going from one foster family to the next and being in a group home. She needed to really appreciate her family such as her brothers and her CBI and FBI teams and most important her husband, who had been through hell and back. There was always going to be challenges and she knew there would be many with raising a child, and she and Jane could help each other. She remembered in the beginning of working with Jane after his tragedy he really began appreciating the little things in life such as a walk along the beach, picnic lunches, admiring nature, a gesture of kindness and of course relaxing with a cup of tea. This is what her one day of falling into despair taught her making her realize that life is worth living.
"I don't know if you remember her from the baby shower, but this is my friend Grace Rigsby."Lisbon introduced Grace waving her hand towards her.
"Hi, Alex. It's good to see you." Grace smiled. "My husband and I came to help with Teresa's baby."
"Nice to meet you." Alex answered back.
"Alex, this is your little guy?" Lisbon asked going up to Alex and looking at the baby. "Hello." Lisbon said to the baby.
"Yes, his name's Landon. He's so big for being a couple weeks old." Alex grinned patting his arm. " I told Patrick that I went through a little sadness too. It's been so challenging to get used to being a mother." Alex explaining. "You get really tired, but the DeWinters have been helping quite a bit. " Alex said looking towards JoAnn.
"I have a baby girl myself, she's about two years old. Her name's Maddie." Grace admitted. "I had a time adjusting too. She's walking and I just love her."
"Oh, and this is Lisby Michelle." Lisbon introduced her baby still being held by Grace.
"She's really cute, Teresa. She looks like you." Alex smiling admiring Lisby.
"That's what my husband said." Lisbon said.
A knock on the door sounded and interrupted the women's conversation. "Alex, are you expecting someone else?" JoAnn asked sitting nearby Grace and Teresa.
"No." Alex confessed. "Would your husbands come?" Alex looked to Grace and Teresa.
They shook their head no.
JoAnn walked to the door and answered. "May I help you?" A male's voice answered and asked for Alex. Steps walked to the living area and Alex looked up. "What are you doing here?"
Grace coming to the rescue and Grace with the baby was one of my favorite parts to write in this chapter. I hope you enjoyed as much as I did. I have another cliff hanger, I know. There may be a little bit of an investigation maybe not a full blown one but a little one. Somebody from Alex's past is coming. This is going to be a way to help Lisbon too.