Author's Note: I'm very sorry for this long wait, I had no idea how to deal with this chapter at all that it came to a huge writer's block. Still I tried to power through this the best I could and i'm not sure it's my best. And also warning Shredder may be OCC in this chapter. Still I hope it's good, Enjoy.

Chapter 33: Coping

*Tick* *Tick* *Tick*

The Metronome continued its constant movement and ticking, it being the only sound in the room where currently only two occupants were. One happened to be Dr. Adams, sitting with one leg crossed on his knee, note pad opened, as he leaned back in his chair. He tapped his pen on the arm rest as he focused on his patient, who is curled up on the long couch, completely silent and looked as if he's lost in his own thoughts.

"Junko…take as much time as you need," Dr. Adams spoke in an understanding tone, fully knowing this would happened, especially when the turtle had come to his office.

Unconsciously Don nodded at the voice, head tilted as he looked at the ground, body stiff and not wanting to move at all. Not after what had happened hours ago, not after what he did by his own hands. A small tear forming in his eye as it slid down his face, he didn't care if the doctor saw it heck he wasn't caring about anything at the moment. In a low voice he mumbled something, which caught Dr. Adam's attention.

"I'm sorry but what did you say?" he leaned forward, trying to get a better sound.

The turtle looked up, more tears threatening to fall, "I'm a murderer."

It was true in Don's eyes, hours ago he was faced with a tough choice that would needed to be made in order to prove his loyalty to his sensei. Unfortunately that required him to do something unthinkable, killing Gavin, his only friend. By his own hand he stabbed him in the chest with a katana, slowly causing him to bleed out as he possibly hit vital organs. He watched as his friend slowly lost the life in him and took his last breathe.

The aftermath was like a complete blur to him, Shredder smiling and congratulating his pupil for his performance. Stating how proud he was and knew that he could be trusted. He escorted the turtle out of the room, saying things that Don didn't pay attention to, his head looking back and seeing the Foot ninjas getting the body, possibly going to dispose of it.

The ride on the elevator he remained silent as Shredder spoke on, he didn't pay attention to what was being said. The act he committed still fresh upon him as the scene kept replaying in his mind; Gavin's face still staring into him as he made the final blow. Watching the life leave him, all because of him.

He'd been dismissed for the night as he went back to his room, it was late but there was no way he could sleep. The next day he'd been informed that he had a session with Dr. Adams, and for some reason the turtle didn't complain about it. As much as he didn't like the doctor he felt like this session would be good for him. Which lead to now, him huddled up on the couch not even sure where to begin, except for the fact that he's a murderer.

"What do you say that Junko?" the human asked with curiosity, not expecting him to say something like this.

Don took a moment to compose himself, which took a lot of will power not to break down. He still kept his eyes adverted for some reason. "B-Because I am…I killed…I murder my friend…my only friend."

"Really?" he faked surprise, since he had already been informed of what transpired the night before. Now he had to take down the turtle's reaction and thoughts to the situation. "What happened?"

"I…I don't want to think of it, all I know is that I killed Gavin, my only friend…And it was because of my own free will…" A lone tear slid down his face as he spoke, letting everything out. "I couldn't sleep at all…There was no way I could. I'd close my eyes and I can still see it all happening." Both eyes but as they did the memory played right before him, once again not leaving him be.

The doctor kept writing things down, more interested in getting the turtle's side of the whole experience. To everyone else that heard of what he done they knew that it was a test of trust, seeing how loyal he was to the Foot. And he passed, just like they wanted him to, but apparently the black clad turtle saw it completely different. He saw it as an act of murder, something he may have different views of. But maybe that was because the two were friends before the whole affair had happened.

Still as a doctor he had to provide his ideals for the situation at hand. "But Junko, this is very common to happen when one commits an act such as you did. I think it's just the shock of the situation that-"

"But this is different!" he shouted out, interrupting and glaring right at the human, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. "Gavin was my friend…my only friend here and I had to kill him with my own hands."

The human got up from his seat as he saw the turtle do the same thing, not frighten at all at the outburst. "Junko, calm down, this is something that typically happens. You just can't freak out like this."

"You try and follow your own advice after you've killed, I don't think you would," Don snapped once again, his rage not stopping at all. The doctor having no idea what he's going through at the moment and he's telling him things like it would be all that easy.

Dr. Adams saw the rage with his patient and realized that the turtle wasn't going to follow his advice while still in this rage. Meaning that this session wouldn't be going as good as he hoped for. Maybe he should end things right now before things got more explosive.

Sighing he placed the clipboard down and slowly approached his patient, holding his hands up in an act of affability. "Junko, I see that you are still upset about this, so I think you should go and sort through your thoughts. I know you see me as someone that can't understand but I'm trying, so there's no need for hostility. Still when you want to discuss this matter further, please come back."

Don looked down at the floor as the words processed through his head, many a thoughts flowing through his mind which were coupled with his other jumbled up thoughts. The anger of the doc still fresh on his mind, but dwindled down some as the seconds ticked by, along with the sounds from the metronome.

There were many things he wanted to say in retaliation but opted to say nothing, deciding not to waste his own breath. He wasn't sure why, but he just didn't want to and needed to get away from the doctor's presence. Without muttering a word the turtle left for the door, and away from the doctor.

Dr. Adams watched as the black clad turtle left, standing where he was for a few seconds before going over to his desk and picking up the phone there. Dialing a number he pressed the receiver to his ear, the ringing now hitting his ear as he waited for the other end to pick up, which he didn't have to wait long for.

"Lord Shredder…yes…I had to end things early…yes the event is still effecting him greatly, he's really emotional right now…I think it's time for you to step in and do what was planned…yes…yes I'll log the session in…alright, I'll talk with you later, bye." He hung up the phone and moved to his swivel chair, and got on his computer, now things would get interesting here.

The soft thumps of Don's footsteps hit the floor as he aimlessly walked down the hall to his room. The lighting bright as his head tilted down so his vision would be on the floor, glad for the silence since he couldn't deal with encountering anyone at the moment. Heck he wanted to be alone right now, even if it was with his thoughts of murder still plastered on his mind.

"I…I still can't believe he's gone…and by me none the less…I actually killed the only friend I had, and for what? To prove loyalty that shouldn't have been in question. Yet…he stole my invention, I can't believe Gavin did that, but was he really friend to begin with?"

His mind mulled over as he reached up to his door and slid it open, revealing the darken room on the other side. Walking in the young ninja immersed himself in darkness as he slid the door shut behind before switching on the lights. A depressing sigh escaping as he scanned the well-kept room, opting on what to do at the moment.

"Can't sleep…Not now," he spoke to himself, his bed coming into view and sleeping came to mind. "Not as long as…I can still see him in my head."

Shutting his eyes and head shaking a sec to rid himself of the thoughts of sleeping Don turned away from the temptation. Yet that didn't help at all since the next thing his eyes set upon was the table near the bookshelf. It wasn't the actual furniture that didn't help, it was what was on it.

The simple glass chess set resting on the surface, the only thing on it. The clear and frosted pieces set up about, but not in proper starting formation as it looked like it was in the middle of a game, one that he remembered. Reaching down he picked up a clear knight, looking it over as both eyes closed as another pang of depression hit him, "We…never finished our game."

It was a couple days ago, before…it happened, they were playing another friendly game which seemed to be heading to a draw. Just a friendly game which they were having a good and light hearted time, both of them not knowing what would come in the coming days.

It's then he noticed a lone tear falling from his eye, soaking the fabric of his bandana and sliding down his cheek. Breathing hitched as he's surprised at this action, why would he be crying or at least starting to? His feelings now all over the place as he wasn't sure what to think at all. "Strange…if Gavin wasn't…really my friend…why am I still sad about this?"

"That was all part of his plan," the voice made Don jump, sharply turning and surprised to see Shredder before him, closing the door behind him, leaving the two alone.

"S-Sensei…" Don barely breathe out as confusion set it. "I-I didn't know you were…"

"It's alright Junko," Oroku put his student at ease with a wave of his hand before taking a couple steps forward. "I just came to see how you are doing," Stopping before his student so they're only a few feet apart, looking right at him.

"Oh..uh…I'm fine," Don turned away, to put the piece down back on the board, right on the same square. He wasn't sure why he did that, the game wasn't going to get finished at all, yet he didn't care.

"You're not ok Junko, I know, you know it. You did something that proved beneficial to me, and to you as well. You shouldn't feel bad at all."

Don's body jerked a bit as he heard those words, part of him not believing that his sensei told him that. Why would he be told this, and why did his sensei think of this. Shell still turned to Oroku Don's eyes were still downcast at the chess set, body trembling a bit as this kept going on in his mind. "Sensei…why shouldn't I…Gavin…Gavin…"

"Was a traitor to us, someone who used you just to achieve his own goals. He was so good at what he did that he ended up fooling you," Oroku explained in a sympathetic tone as he moved closer to his pupil, hand softly behind placed on his shell to turn him. Now both were looking at one another face to face. "You are very smart, smarter than everyone here. But yet you yearned for something for so long, which he noticed. Your desire to have someone you could talk to who isn't me, someone who will share your own interest and the like. You wanted a friend so much that he exploited it, he gave you something you craved and faked being your friend."

The turtle's mouth slowly dropped as he heard this being said, the words hitting him. Part of him wanted to believe what was being said, but there was still that one part of him that rejected that explanation, but the fact in his mind still remained. His sensei never lied to him, why should he believe it would happen now? Especially after what some of what Oroku proved about Gavin being right.

"But…but it really felt like his friendship was real, everything we did and talked about…it was all too real," Don softly responded as he hung his head, eyes closing.

"That's how well he entrapped you," Oroku responded by placing both hands on the turtle's shell. "You have to forget about that traitor and what he did to you, now I know that may not be easy because of what you had to do, and I'm sorry for putting you through that but it had to be done."

Now that made the turtle raise his head, stunned at those words, "w-what…but-"

"You had to see what he was, what he really was and what he had done to you. He used you, just like your family, all for their personal gain. None caring about how you would feel in the end, only as long as they got what it is they wanted. By killing him with your own hand you severed that tie."

Don took in all the words his sensei told him, all of it being logged into his mind. "He…he's right…just like with my brothers…Gavin took something of mine and didn't even bother letting me know…Sensei…wouldn't lie to me, but…what do I do now? I thought I was over this, I thought he was different and was really my friend…I thought I was better than this…I guess I'm not."

He thought to himself as his emotions started to get the better of him, tears forming in his eyes as they passed through his eyes. His head then fell forward as it then touched the front of Oroku's shirt, not caring what his current actions are.

This on the other hand surprised Shredder, not expecting his pupil to do this, but mentally smiled knowing that this was a kind of reaction that would be needed right now, especially after what happened. He kept his hands on the turtle's shoulders, trying his best to comfort him, almost like he was a child.

"Why…why does this has to happen to me," Don spoke as he slowly broke down, speaking his mind and not caring what he said. "I'm so confused right now, and I'm not sure what to do…and…and the visions of what I did…they won't leave me…I…I can't take it!"

"Don't worry Junko, it'll pass. In time it all will get better, but unfortunately it will stick with you," Oroku kept comforting, still smiling at how things were going. Just need the right words now to end things. "I'll help you Junko, with the best of my abilities, you can always relay on me."

"T-Thank you…sensei," Don unconsciously spoke, feeling secure with Oroku and heeding all his words.

"Junko take all the time you need to get better," he spoke, softly pushing him back a bit till they were looking at each other. "I'm going to need you again soon."

"W-What for?" he asked, trying to choke back a sob, uneasy now at what he was being asked of.

"Something that'll truly put your skills to the test," that's all he said before nothing but silence filled the room, Don's heart beating in worry.

A/N: Hope you like, once again i'm not sure about this chapter and may just be filler. But believe me I have something planned next, now that this is out of the way I can get on now. Still I'm grateful for all those who still are reading this, i appreciate your support and feedback. And once again i'm stating that this story will be finished, it'll be slow but it'll get there. Till next time.