It's been far too long since I've done something on this website more than update my profile.
I'd written a big thank you on my profile to the people who had been reading, Favouriting, Following and commenting on my fics while I've been away, plus a promise that none of my incomplete stories have been abandoned because I really don't want to leave any stories incomplete (I needed a different way to try communicate with you people, since the other communication method is in these bold Author's Notes that I can obviously only post when I update a story...)
Also, hoping to get Chapter 6 of What If? up soon.
Anyway, read the weird non-bolded stuff below.
xo
It was so late. Or rather, very early.
Thor observed the traces of sunrise that were starting to announce themselves outside. The pale yellow and royal blue warmed the horizon like faint plumes of fire.
As long as there was at least one guest still in attendance, Thor, Jane and their bridal parties were to continue gracing the reception. He and Jane had already thanked everyone of political importance for attending, while circulating the room amid the others. The early morning hours seem to have filtered out those purely by their standards as socialites, dissolving any vertical hierarchies. A few visitors were still swaying in time to the lingering orchestral melodies. Some haunted the edges of the chamber in small groups, keeping up the hum of conversation. Their eyes were still as bright as the red and amber liquids residing in their goblets.
"Not to be an ungracious hostess or anything, but when I'm still awake this early in the morning, it's normally because I'm trying to comprehend a section of unusual data or something," Jane discreetly rubbed the corners of her eyes, trying to inject some alertness back into herself. They watched several waitrons glide around wordlessly, clearing away emptied wineglasses and sticky puddles of spilled mead.
"Yeah, Jane, good thing you chose a husband who satisfies your obsession with the galaxies without taking away the fun," Darcy was trying to get Erik to sit in one of the high table's chairs. The man let her pry the half-empty goblet from his hand, his smile slightly bleary. "You still need to get a life outside of work."
"Darcy, you do almost no astrophysical research or analysis, so I've had you to distract me – "
"I also told you it would've been a good idea to bring our own coffee for the stay," Darcy interrupted brightly.
Thor left them to their bantering as Loki approached. Like Thor, he did not appear particularly weary – centuries of arduous journeys, stakeouts and other feasts rendered the reception child's play. Unlike Thor, he looked increasingly bored. A few seconds after joining him, Loki raised and dropped his shoulders in a thick sigh aimed at apparently nothing in particular.
Thor laughed. "Having fun, Brother?"
"If the next thing I destroy is aimed at the guests this time, do you think they'll leave sooner or might they think it part of a party game and stay longer?"
Thor watched Loki regard the statuettes and chairs around the floor, and then the turning chandeliers overhead. He hoped ignoring the suggestion would imperceptibly deflect it. "You've enjoyed similar long-lasting events in the past, Loki."
"No, you've enjoyed similar long-lasting events. I nearly always left early, and only returned when Frigga asked me to somehow defuse your drunken presence."
"Defuse? Everyone would agree you were more of a menace, even in your sober state."
"Clearly not Frigga."
"Mother's not always right."
"And yet you're probably not willing to tell her that if I fetched her now, right?"
"Not now, Loki, she's preoccupied." Thor rolled his eyes. "Besides, I've been meaning to speak with my little brother a little more since before the ceremony." He hoped his subject-change was subtle enough.
"I swear to you, I played no part in any other acts of bedlam you might have witnessed tonight."
"I meant that not in accusation," Thor said. He frowned. "However, if you have elicited more – "
"I have not." Loki affirmed. He smiled sweetly, insincere enough that Thor thought it wisest to ignore it. "Honestly."
Then Loki added curiously, "But we spoke many times today. Just before your vows, after my speech and as we danced earlier."
"True, but while we danced, most of our exchange was your grating criticism – " Thor was already losing track of what he originally intended to say to his brother.
"Because I wish not to let you preserve the notion that abusing your dance partner is acceptable – "
"Loki, shut up for a moment and let me find my initial trains of thought – "
"Trains?" Loki looked puzzled. "Plural?"
Thor felt the clinging itch of his wedding garments more than ever as he wrung Loki into a headlock. The temporary absence of Loki's voice compensated well enough.
"Thor, you just said you wanted to speak with me," Loki's voice was muffled against Thor's side. "And I spoke."
Thor accidentally caught Odin and Frigga's eyes across the chamber as they faced the stocky Dwarven princess. Frigga's expression demanded Explain, Son as Odin smoothly piloted her role in the conversation. Thor smiled, trying to gesture at them with his free hand that Loki would only be permanently harmed if he escalated the situation. After a second of staring, Frigga returned her attention to the princess.
Thor said to him, "I meant without so much antagonism – "
"Well then, the job you are doing of that now is absolutely commendable." They heard one of Jane's bridesmaids giggling somewhere nearby.
"You know, Loki, because of your verbal nonsense, I cannot even remember what I intended to ask you now – "
"You do have me in a headlock at the moment, so perhaps because your brain is trying to execute two things at once."
"No, I have found from past experiences that incapacitating you helps – "
"This is getting better by the second." Loki shifted his feet as he tried unsuccessfully to peer up at him. "I can't wait until you're king. Good evening, Queen of Alfheim, would you prefer a head-butt or a hip throw as we discuss our people's exchange of goods across the borders – "
"Ah, I remember now," Thor interrupted. "But you hardly make it worth the effort to simply ask you what you thought of the night's festivities."
He let his brother straighten up.
"That's all you wanted to ask and you place me in a headlock?" Loki adjusted his collar, eyeing him warily. "So what did you do to propose to Jane? Never mind, I don't want to know. My opinion of this celebration. Hm. It's similar to the bygone festivals you and I have endured – "
"So a negative experience – "
" – but I am truly pleased about your marriage." Loki finished. "Albeit a little concerned for Jane if she ever disturbs your train of thought."
Thor snorted. "Speaking of which, if I may tell you something else before you interject with more folly…" He cleared his throat, which he regretted instantly – he was not as adverse to open sentimentality as Loki was, but the action induced a sudden lull in their shared lightheartedness so forcefully. For some reason, he found this vaguely embarrassing. His little brother waited quietly, and Thor could see Loki in his periphery staring at him curiously.
"Weddings make you so strangely soppy," Loki commented after some moments of relative silence.
Thor shrugged. "Perhaps. But what you call sentimentality is often only illustration of true feelings."
"Maybe you need to stop being so illustrative. It's uncomfortable."
"Hear me this last time, and then I shall stop if that will gladden you," Thor muttered.
Loki fell quiet again patiently. One of the high table's chairs waited behind him, so Loki swung it around and curled his legs beneath him to sit cross-legged, facing Thor. He smiled up at his older brother strangely. "You know I'm not the most demonstrative person to have around, Thor, but I've never wished you did not love me. Now, go on."
It was irritating that Loki's sudden attentiveness made Thor feel slightly ridiculous for asking for it. But Thor began, "I had meant to tell you earlier, before your procession during the ceremony…" He stalled.
Loki just scrutinized him, uncomplainingly, which annoyed Thor further beneath his awkwardness. Just like Loki to give him exactly what he needed, only when Thor needed it.
"No matter how much I love Jane, you are still irreplaceable to me."
Maybe he imagined it, but Loki's eyes appeared to darken, as if Thor had just accused him of a shameful phobia. But they also softened.
"I mean," Thor tried to elaborate. "As happy as she makes me, I'll still always need you around to do that, too. I would still be unhappy without you."
The edges of Loki's mouth lifted again faintly. "Thank you, Thor…" He sounded reserved. Thor felt a twinge of guilt when Loki asked, "Did Jane prompt you at all to tell me this?"
"Not at all, Brother. What makes you suspect so?" Thor felt his eyebrows pull together as he said, "I thought you knew I was the sentimental one."
"Loki."
She still said his name with a slight edge. Depending on the situation, that edge ranged from exasperated to angry, and sometimes plain weary. It was peculiarly affectionate now.
He sensed Jane had been standing a few feet behind him for a while, waiting for him to acknowledge her. It had always amused him that she tried never to let any intimidation show – she would have invaded his personal space by now, ordinarily. The waiting must be some form of emotional charity, allowing him space, for whatever reason.
"I've been meaning to talk to you since your Best Man speech," she said when he turned to face her. Her cheeks were flushed from makeup and dancing. Over her shoulder, Thor was visible across the chamber guffawing with Hogun and Volstagg.
Loki's attention refocused on her as he said, "If you found any of it offensive… I'd advise you to get over it. You'll need to tolerate that degree of folly in future."
Her lip twitched. "You'd know better than I do, so I guess I should take that advice. But no, actually, I just wanted to say thank you."
She said the last sentence with fervour. Loki listened to her stumble through the rest of her mental script. "It meant… a lot… to me, what you said in your speech. Especially coming from you. It's clear how much Thor means to you, but I don't know if you realise how much you still mean to him. Or maybe you do. Like I said, I don't know. Anyway, you said that you couldn't repay me for making him as happy as I can, but I don't think anyone can repay you for getting him this far, either. Whatever strength or support I give him, you've been doing it for him ten-fold for the past however many years you've been brothers. Thank you, Loki." That vehemence returned to her voice by the end of her speech.
Loki just smiled. "It's what I'm here for."
Loki's expression lightened as he laughed. "Because your wife had a similar discussion with me earlier. You both seem to think I'm excessively fragile today. I am not." He grinned. "I already know you need me, Thor."
Briefly, Thor wrapped his arms around Loki's lithe frame, awkwardly as Loki still sat upon the chair. He pressed his cheek on top of Loki's rumpled hair. Felt Loki hug him back tightly.
"I'll still always need you around too." Thor confirmed, before letting his brother go.
It was easier to phrase it rather like a request. Loki would be around if Thor needed him to.
Loki smiled again. It was always Thor he looked at with that much trust. The strange ache was back in Thor's chest.
"I know." Loki echoed simply.
There were a few more seconds of comfortable quietness.
"Good," Thor said gently.
"Thor? The last group of guests are about to leave, and your father said we, Darcy and Loki should say goodbye to them." Thor turned to see Jane standing a few feet behind him. She looked like she teetered on her heels, uncertain if she could step any closer to the fleeting spectacle of affection.
"The last guests are leaving?" Loki straightened to look at her. Thor jerked with surprise as his brother shoved himself off the chair. "Finally!"
At least they were still across the chamber from the waiting visitors, and the echoes of the servants' footsteps partially covered the exclamation. Thor sighed. "With my headlocks and your disrespect, I fear the future relationships between Asgard and the other realms will experience some hindrances…"
"You'll have great responsibility riding on your capable shoulders, Jane." Loki said as he passed her, leading the way.
"And you don't even have coffee in this realm…" was all she muttered back, turning to trail after his energetic stride. Thor observed the two of them for an instant before he followed. He felt a warm glow in his chest as he realised how privileged he truly was.
It was dusk again. The waves of moonlight turned the city kaleidoscopic once more, twinkling gently for leagues in every direction. The inside of the massive ballroom used for their reception had been reverted back to its usual state – grand enough for a royal citadel, but without the effervescence of the previous night.
Thor felt he could study Jane studying the stars for eons. They leaned against the stone balcony railing, which was cooled by the evening breeze. Every so often, he could see her lips quiver as she recited to herself silently the names of the Midgardian constellations that would overlay the Asgardian ones.
According to Dvalin and Borghild, the two of them were scheduled to meet somewhere to travel somehow to someplace for whatever came next after the reception. Thor was not completely certain of the plan.
"Thor, where did Borghild and Dvalin say we're supposed to meet them to set off for the honeymoon?" Jane suddenly broke away from the heavens to echo his thoughts.
Thor waited a second to see if she would answer her own question, perhaps recalling something the wedding planners had told her earlier. There always seemed at least five others who were aware of the official plans, so Thor had not seen the need to be particularly mindful of them when told. Jane lifted an eyebrow at him.
"Er…"
Jane rolled her eyes. "A fine authority figure you'll make, Thor." Then she grinned. "But I don't see how another destination will be much prettier than here anyway."
At that, Thor pointed to a hazy but distinct, dappled feather of silver light against the inky sky, below and to the left of the largest moon. The pale silhouette was as familiar as one of their childhood storybooks read by Frigga.
Jane stared along the imaginary straight line from his fingertip all the way to the point in the sky he was motioning to. "What?" she whispered beside him. But from the sudden hush of her voice, she already knew it was something exceptional, already appreciating something Thor had vaguely indicated was special.
"That there is said to be a string of floating islands along the border between Vanaheim and Asgard. They are said to be the remains of a tenth realm, rivaling Valhalla in their utopic nature that it was shattered by unknown celestial beings that loathe all things beautiful. If got the chance to visit them, I might even admit they are lovelier than Asgard." Thor smiled as Jane stared with renewed wonder.
"I am sure my brother or Sif will fetch us when the time comes," he added calmly.
"So what's the plan?" Loki ghosted onto the balcony from behind them, making Jane jump. "Where shall you two meet your chaperons to the honeymoon location?" He faced them expectantly. Thor blinked.
"Perhaps I should go ask Sif." He pushed himself off the railing, grasping Mjolnir's handle as he straightened up.
"She and the Warriors Three were heading towards Odin's largest meeting chamber, the last time I checked." Loki told him.
"Thank you again, Loki." Thor brushed Jane's hand lightly before leaving.
When Thor reached the doorway, he glanced over his shoulder at Loki and Jane. Jane had returned to examining the faded silvery dash above the horizon, probably contemplating what astronomic movements the islands went through each year. Loki was perched on the railing, legs swinging slowly and with his back to the glittering city and skies. He had been watching Thor go. He flicked an eyebrow up as Thor re-met his gaze.
"Need anything else, Brother?" His legs still swung metrically.
Thor paused. Then he laughed and shook his head as he realised. Loki just maintained his expression, also tilting his head in askance, while Jane turned around to look at him too.
"What, Thor?"
"No," There was that feeling again, as if brilliant golden light radiated from Thor as the fact stood that he had wedded Jane, and now there were the rest of their lives at their feet to unfurl. "No, I really need nothing else."
Jane pursed her lips, looking a little baffled as she glanced between them. Maybe she decided the brothers shared an inside joke, because she tactfully returned to starwatching without another word. Loki smiled as Thor left. Thor knew he understood.
I no longer need anything else.
He snuck another glance over his shoulder. Jane still stargazing. Loki still leg-swinging.
They make me too happy.
Thor recalled Loki's speech.
As he walked, he murmured to himself, "I cannot repay them."
Fin.
Thanks for getting this far with this story too! Sorry it took me so long to chug out the rest of it. I hope you felt happily warm inside. If you could leave a review to let me know what you think of this ending, or the whole thing, or both, that would be fantastic :) Though, as I said earlier, reviewing is optional, enjoyment also optional but more important.
P.S. I hope you are all well.