"So sissy how do you make pancakes?" Ben asked curiously, watching as Avery bustled around her play kitchen. "Could you make me a short stack?"

"Yes Ben," she said with a nod. "This how."

She pretended to scoop some batter into the frying pan, then made a sizzling noise and flipped it.

"It hot," she said, handing him a plate. "Careful amigo."

He nodded and began to "eat," giving nods of approval with every bite.

"Sissy, you sure is a good cook. Maybe you could have your own show. Like Paula Deen! That lady likes her butter and so do you!"

Avery nodded and clasped her hands together. She loved butter so much that every morning she snuck down to the kitchen and opened the butter dish to slide her finger through it and have a bite of butter. No one had found her out yet and she wanted to keep it that way.

"Like my hat?" she asked putting the frying pan on her head.

"Not really. Isn't it hot?"

"Yes! Oh, owwie!"

She tossed the pan into the sink and grabbed a bowl, putting that on her head instead.

"Like this hat?"

"Yep, I do. Now what are you gonna make, sissy?"

"Mac'roni. How mama make. It yummy. You see."

He nodded and moved across the room to sit in front of the cardboard box they had designated as the TV.

"Sissy I will be daddy and you be mama. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Hey babe when is that food gonna be done?"

"Shut up!"

"Why are you so mean to me? I love you!"

She walked over to him with one hand on her hip and a spatula in her hand.

"Love you too. You is diff'cult."

"C'mere and I will smooch ya."

"No way Jose."

She stomped back into her kitchen and Ben continued to act like he was playing video games until she came back and brought a plate to him.

"Well thank you honey! You are the best!"

"You is best. You is cute."

"Yep, I am."

"Now Adam, eat."

"Yes ma'am."

"Oh no! Stove on!"

She rushed over to the kitchen but stopped partway there, spotting Lindsay in the doorway.

"Ah… mama?"

Lindsay was laughing so hard at their portrayal that she had sunk down to the floor and laughter tears were streaming down her face. She could barely take a breath to explain why it was so funny, even if she didn't understand exactly why it had struck her.

"Ben! Mama cry!"

Avery rushed over and pulled Lindsay into her arms, shushing her and patting her head.

"It okay mama. It okay. No cry," she assured, small tears making their way down her own cheeks.

"Sissy, mama is laughin', not cryin!"

"Tears Ben!" Avery hollered before letting out a sob of epic proportions.

"Avery," Lindsay chuckled, trying to grasp her composure. "Honey, I'm not crying."

"Sad, mama."

"No, I'm not sad. You guys just made me laugh so hard that I cried."

"How does that work, mama?" Ben asked curiously, his head tipping to the side.

"I don't know. I think it's a girl thing."

"Oh. Sissy you wanna keep playin'?"

"No. Avery done."

He nodded and started to clean up the dishes while Avery gathered her composure, taking a deep breath and wiping her eyes.

"Hey peoples, we're home!" Colton hollered up the stairs as the front door hit the wall. "Where are all y'all?"

"We're up here Cole!" Ben shouted, jumping to his feet and forgetting the clean up. "Daddy's gonna teach me clothes foldin' today!"

He dashed out of the room and down the stairs while Lindsay wiped Avery's face.

"Well, what do you think, baby girl?"

"I hungry mama. Want chips."

"Chips, really?"

"Yes. Let's go mama."

They made their way downstairs where Adam was already raiding the kitchen for a snack. Avery was happy to join him and together they opened every cupboard and drawer looking for something suitable.

"And so my homework is to stick all these stickers on poison stuff around our house," Colton explained to a greatly intrigued Ben.

"You mean to tell me that there's poison in this home?"

"Yep. It can be as simple as the cleaners under the sink."

"Wow."

"And I need to teach Aves about it too so she doesn't eat stuff she shouldn't."

"Cole, make me your poison deputy!"

"My what?"

"Your deputy of poison! I will help you put the stickers on things what are poison! And I will teach sissy the song what you just telled me!"

"Well… I don't know."

"Come on Cole! I will help ya! See under here? This is 409. It is a cleaner so it must be poison! Gimme a sticker to put on it!"

Colton handed over a Mr. Yuck sticker hesitantly and Ben put it on the bottle.

"What doin'?" Avery asked curiously.

"We're savin' this household! I have a song to teach ya, sissy. It's about this poison man and Cole just teached me it. Ready?"

"Ready Ben."

"Tongue sticks out. Skin what's green. A'member what this sticker means. If you see his face on bottle jar or can, he's Mr. Yuck the Poison Man!"

"What?"

"It means sissy that if you see these Mr. Yuck stickers on anything, you can't eat it or you will die."

"Oh goodness."

"Now let's go find some poison!" he shouted, nabbing the sheets of stickers from Colton and running upstairs.

"But that's my homework!"

"And I said to daddy that I didn't like the look of that shirt and he should throw it out," Ben explained to the rest of the kids around the dinner table.

"Was it a ugly shirt?" Junior asked.

"Yeah. It was ugly. And I didn't know daddy weared it. And he said he just weared it to bed, but I telled him that it grossed out mama for him to wear ugly shirts to bed."

"Did you like folding the laundry Benjamin?"

"Yep! Me and daddy had a great talk."

Ben continued to tell them about his afternoon folding clothes, while the parents sat at the other end of the dinner table, discussing their current case. It wasn't meant for small ears so they were keeping their voices low and tuning out the conversation from their tiny counterparts.

"The only thing I didn't like was when I had to fold the socks. That was hard work and daddy says that's why mama saves them for when we are in trouble."

"You should get in trouble more often Ben. Because you already know how to fold the socks," Isa said with a glint in her eye.

"I know what you are doin', Isa Messer. I'm not gonna fall for it."

Isa shrugged her shoulders as he kept talking. It wasn't that she hated Ben, it was just that their personalities didn't mesh in any way, shape, or form. He was always so happy and talkative and nothing could get him down. She herself was more realistic and sometimes his extraordinary happiness over absolutely nothing drove her crazy. On the other hand though, he was always the first to offer her words of encouragement, or to give her a hug when she was sad, even if she didn't really want it. She loved him, but there were times when she didn't like him very much.

"And then I finded this thing what I wasn't sure what it was. So I asked daddy and he said it was mamas. And I said to him "Hey daddy but what is it?" and he said they're a special kind of underpants called song underpants!"

His joyous proclamation was loud enough to interrupt the adult conversation and Lindsay's face turned red as Isa looked at her, eyes dancing.

"You got underwear that plays music?" she asked excitedly. "What song does it play?"

"For He's a Jolly Good Fellow, now eat your corn," Adam answered, quite possibly as embarrassed as Lindsay was. He'd tried to avoid the question about the thongs but Ben was relentless and even if he'd remembered the name of them incorrectly, it was close enough that everyone else knew what he meant.

"And I was thinkin' 'bout that song underpants that it might give you a big wedgie all the time! Why would you wear those mama?"

She buried her face in her hands while Danny and Austin hooted with laughter.

"This is not funny you two. Shut up."

"Mama no say shut up," Avery reminded her gently. "Not kind."

"But they're laughing at me!"

"Au'tin, Nanny, nice to mama. Okay?"

"You don't know what a sacrifice I'm making not laughin' at her, Mimo."

"Do for me, Nanny."

Danny laughed and shook his head.

"Alright kiddo, I won't laugh at your mama.

"Thank you. Ben, story."

"I finished that story sissy," Ben sighed while Adam apologized to Lindsay over and over again. "But I might have another one up my sleeve! Who wants to hear the story 'bout the man what me and daddy seen on the street what had his zipper down on accident?"

"I don't want to hear that!" Isa exclaimed, wrinkling her nose. "Ben, don't you got no sense of decorum?"

"I don't even know what that means!"

"We don't do decorum in this family," Austin said with a little laugh. "We barely even do politeness."

"So I could talk 'bout the man what haved his zipper down?"

"No, you're in mixed company, son."

"Now that I understand! Anyone else got a story?"

"I got a story about your mama eatin' bugs!" Danny offered with a laugh. "Ask her how she likes that grasshopper chutney."

"Danny knock it off."

"Auntie, you ate bugs? I don't think I can finish my dinner."

"Your daddy ate them too!"

"Yeah but you started it, Montana."

"Oh my word why didn't I get the memo that it was pick on Lindsay day?"

"Because we can't warn you about it, then it's no fun!" Austin laughed, tossing a wadded up napkin at her.

"I think these grown-ups are weirder than us kids," Colton sighed. "Let's go do something else."

The kids all left the table quietly and went upstairs while the adults were left to bicker over the dirty dishes.

"Maybe you just need to be a better sport, Montana. You know, take the hits and roll with 'em."

"That's an idea. Or you could just take the hits that I would like to administer to your face."

"You can't reach."

"I am about to crawl across this table and strangle you," she said, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice.

"Whatever, Montana."

"Zing."

"Watch out Danny, once she's zinged you, she's halfway done planning her revenge," Adam warned with a grin and a quick adoring glance at Lindsay.

"Well crap."

"Now boys, go do the dishes."

"And wear aprons while you do it," Austin added, standing up from the table. "Now skee-daddle, us womenfolk have lots to talk about."

"We do?"

"Yes. Come along."

Lindsay snorted and followed Austin into the other room where they sat down on the couch together, moving various toys and coloring pages to the coffee table.

"Okay, so what's up?"

"Jo told me that when you and Adam go away for your anniversary, you're going to leave the kids with her and Mac."

"Yeah."

"May I ask why they got billing over us?"

"Because I didn't want to saddle you with three extra kids for over a week."

"You'd take my kids for that long."

"That's different."

"How?"

"Because that's my choice. And I know you Austin, you wouldn't have said no even if you wanted to, because you can't say no to me and you can't say no to the kids. If we were going to be gone during the summer I probably would have just dropped them on your doorstep with only the clothes on their backs. But during the school year it would just be too hard. Making sure all the kids are ready and out the door with their homework done and their clothes on straight while you have a two year old that loves to scream for no reason? I can't ask you to take that on."

"But we're a family. That's the kind of stuff families do for each other."

"Do you have something against the kids being with Mac and Jo?"

"No, not at all. I just would have liked it if you would have asked."

"I'm sorry."

Austin stayed quiet, a slight frown on her face.

"I love you Austin. A lot. Really, I swear."

"I know. I've just been ticked off since she mentioned it."

"I was going to tell you tonight. Believe me, I would feel bad if you left your kids with someone other than me too."

"Well I guess as long as you understand how I feel I can't be mad. Can we at least nab them for the weekend then?"

"If you want to take that on, go for it. I'm sure the kids will be happy about it."

"Have you guys decided what you're doing yet?"

"I hope so, we already booked everything."

"Who was being indecisive, you or him?"

"It was me. I just kept thinking that we may not ever get to do a big trip, just the two of us and I had to pick something really good. But everything I thought of was just not very us, you know?"

"Yeah, I was wondering what had gotten into you when you were looking at hotels in Hawaii."

"I was just trying to entertain every possibility. We thought about Canada, but we're both too lazy to get our passports renewed. Thought about Alaska, but we went there on our honeymoon."

"So where did you decide?"

"Oregon coast. We've both been there but never together. It's a place we both love and his parents timeshare has a resort there that we can stay at for really cheap. And that's all I know so far because he's planning everything else."

"Okay but you're going in October and doesn't it rain in Oregon like all the time?"

"No. It rains a lot but it mostly mists."

"You're going to be really cold the entire time."

"Then we just won't leave the hotel room."

"You're gross."

Lindsay shrugged and inspected a throw pillow, noticing a stain on it that she was sure came from Ben. He was the only one that liked grape popsicles.

"I'm sure you guys will have fun either way, but are you sure you can leave the kids for that long?"

"I think I'll be a wreck for most of it, but if they're okay, I'll be fine."

"You guys deserve a trip. The last one wasn't exactly the most pleasurable experience in the world."

"What, you mean the Outer Banks? It was a good trip. I just wish we could have all taken it as a vacation rather than an escape from what had just happened."

"We all needed it, but it would be nice if all the memories were good."

"That's true. Of course, we could always do a big family vacation again."

"What are you two concocting?" Danny asked warily, seeing the looks on their faces.

"Something you'll hate of course. It can't be much worse than the stuff you two come up with."

"Probably not."

"Look at these white bullets what we finded in the bathroom!" Ben shouted, jumping down the last stairs and holding up the cardboard box. Lindsay's face immediately turned red again.

"Ben where did you find that?"

"In the drawer in the bathroom. There was these special bullets and these other neato stickers things!"

Austin had burst into giggles again and it only got worse as Avery came down the stairs with the "neato stickers" stuck all over her body.

"I used them to make sissy into a great warrior. See, it's her armor! Where can we get more of this fun stuff?"

"It's a rare commodity," Adam sighed, standing up and taking the box from Ben. "You can only use it once a month, and it makes mama cranky every time she uses it."

"Well why is that? They're great toys!"

Avery continued to pose and growl like she was a warrior then screamed her head off when Adam tried to remove her armor.

"No, daddy mine!"

"Honey-"

"MINE!"

She tore out of his arms and back up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door.

"Do you really gotta take these toys away?"

"Yes."

"Okay then. I will just go find more stuff to put the Mr. Yuck stickers on. Maybe Dunner will help. Hey Dunner!"

He scrambled up the stairs and Lindsay gave a long-suffering sigh.

"Babe, remember when we moved in and you said in a few years we were going to have to build another bathroom because there's no way five people can share one? Well that time is now. Google contractors because I am not letting that happen again."

"Yes ma'am."

"And go close our bedroom door. I can just see Ben coming downstairs declaring that these special balloons are great!"

"Point taken," Adam muttered, going upstairs.

"So it's probably a good thing that Flack and Jess couldn't make it tonight, huh?" Austin laughed. "You would have thrown up from embarrassment."

"I'm feeling a little nauseous anyway, now that you mention it."

"I'm sure our kids will embarrass us at some point too," Danny said, trying to make her feel better. "Or at least we could make up a good story about it."

"I think you two embarrass yourselves enough."

"She's got us there."

"One more week of school and then we will have a kindergartener and a third grader."

"Adam stop. We're not old enough to have a third grader."

"I am. As you well know, I am about to have my twelfth twenty-ninth birthday."

"Oh honey," she yawned, dropping her head to his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you too. Ready for bed?"

"Yeah. Help me up?"

"You get lazy when you're tired," he chuckled, turning the TV off and standing up to take her hands.

"Probably. But you adore me no matter what my faults are."

"Yes I do."

They went upstairs and peeked in on the kids who were all snoring, arms thrown over their heads in deep sleep. Lindsay tiptoed over and kissed Colton's cheek, smoothing his hair back from his face and reminding herself to take him for a haircut soon. Making sure his blankets were around him, she moved over to Ben, gently moving his arms down because he always complained that his armpits hurt in the morning "for having them up all night." He muttered something in his sleep and she kissed his cheek softly. He sleepily reached his arms up and hugged her, pulling her down to him.

"I love you mama."

"I love you too Benjamin. Even when you embarrass me."

He grinned in his sleep and she kissed him again before standing up and straightening his blankets, then making her way across the hall to check Avery while Adam came out of Avery's room on his way to check the boys.

"Do you think they remember that we check on them at night?"

"I doubt it. Did you tuck her back in?"

"She growled at me just like her mother."

Lindsay smiled and went into Avery's room, picking up her scattered toys and clothes and putting them on the rocking chair to be put away in the morning. The baby was sleeping in the most uncomfortable position that she could possibly achieve and Lindsay chuckled, being as careful as she could when she moved her.

"Mama," she whispered, her eyes still closed.

"Shh. Go to sleep love."

Avery stretched and rubbed her eyes, then reached for Lindsay's hand.

"Night."

"Night-night baby."

She slipped from the room and went upstairs where Adam was already pulling the covers back on the bed and throwing the extra pillows on the floor.

"Why do you insist on making a mess of the pillows instead of putting them on the window seat where they go?"

"To prove that I would be lost if you ever left me."

She giggled and tackled him onto the bed, kissing him over and over while they both laughed.

"What was that for babe?"

"Because I adore you," she answered, rolling off of him to stare at the ceiling. "And sometimes I think you should be forcefully reminded of that."

"It's a good thing you're not a linebacker."

She snickered and toed her shoes off, letting them fall to the floor.

"Were you serious about a new bathroom?" he asked after a moment, bracing himself for the answer.

"Yes. You promised me one when we moved in."

"I know but I meant when the kids were older and spent hours in the bathroom."

"Yeah, well I meant whenever I wanted it."

"Well…"

"What do I have to do to get myself into a new bathroom today?" she asked, rolling over and looking down at him.

"We're going to have to figure out how much it will cost and where we're going to get the money. Because I can bet we're going to run into one problem or another."

She wrinkled her nose and flopped back onto the bed, dissatisfied.

"Hey."

"What?"

"We'll figure it out. We don't need it, you just want it."

"I know. But I already picked out paint colors."

"Linds!"

"Okay, I can deal with someday. It's fine. I'm not pouting."

"Good. Now you wanna go back to talking about what you can do to convince me?"

"Nope."

She stood from the bed and changed her clothes while he unashamedly watched her with a smirk on his face.

"You know back when we first got married it used to bug you when I watched you change clothes."

"Yeah, but my irritation never stopped you so I just figured it was a lost battle."

"All I have to do to get you to do what I want is be persistent?"

"I guess," she shrugged, putting the pillows onto the window seat and climbing into bed.

"So in that case, do you wanna-"

"I'm too tired, persistence ain't gonna work on that one buddy."

"Well fine."

She smiled as he climbed into bed next to her and tucked her into his arms.

"Hey, I love you anyway."

"I love you too, dearlin'. Now I'm going to go to sleep so I don't have to look at you anymore."

"Wake me up early and stop pouting about it."

"If you can pout about the bathroom, I can pout about this."

A short silence passed where they just stared at each other before laughing.

"Goodnight Linds."

"Night."