Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.
Rated: M
Warning(s): Slash, Murder, etc.

Roman liked to believe that that was the end of it. After that highly uncomfortable situation in the gym, Roman was almost certain that that would be the end of it. He'd have to come clean, let the cat out of the bag - if you'd forgive the horrible cliché... and he just wasn't sure that he was mentally or emotionally ready to deal with the fall-out of that. He was in an incredibly fragile state of mind, perhaps even more so than he would ever confess too. Holding Seth close and clinging to the tattered remains of their relationship was the only thing that was holding him together. If he lost that, he wasn't sure what he would do.

"I just got off of the phone with Phil." Seth said as he re-entered the bedroom, plopping down face-first onto the bed beside Roman. Roman continued to read his novel, barely offering the two-toned man a cursory glance. He was certain that there was more to come soon. "He says that he's doing well. He's almost fully recovered now."

Roman hummed softly, before turning the page. Crossing his legs at the ankles, he offered a nonchalant, "Oh, is that so?"

"Yes, it is." Seth frowned. "Hey, Roman?" Roman wasn't sure how he felt about the carefully inquisitive tone that Seth was using.

Slowly, Roman lowered his novel and met the slightly smaller man's troubled brown eyes. He was almost certain that he wouldn't like the turn that this conversation was about to take. "What is it, Seth?"

After a seconds' worth of hesitation, Seth managed to force out, "You're not... hiding anything from me, are you? Because you think I'm not strong enough to handle the truth?" His eyes looked so broken, so lost... so betrayed. "I don't know... I just have this feeling... and it won't go away. Normally, I wouldn't ask, but... please?"

And Roman, who could once remember staring into those beautifully broken eyes and promising on his life that he'd never lie to him, perhaps uttered the biggest lie that he had ever told in his life. "I would never lie to you, Seth. Just remember that, okay?"

For a minute, Seth simply searched Roman's eyes. And then, nodding stiffly, he conceded, "Okay."

It wasn't until several weeks later that Seth came to him with a very interesting proposition. His idea was incredibly sudden and out-of-the-blue, which shocked and (if he were to be totally honest) scared Roman a little bit. But then, he'd never realized how difficult it would be to share a bed with the beautiful two-toned man and only be able to hold him. No matter how painfully obvious it was that both of their bodies were craving much more than minimal physical contact, their minds were a little slow to catch up. Both were still haunted by the incident with Ryback... at least now, though, they were talking about it.

This was why, when Seth came to him and asked him to join him in the shower, he was understandably caught off guard. Seth had stood at the foot of the bed, stammering and blushing, whilst twisting the end of his shirt in his hands. Ironically enough, the scene bore an uncanny resemblance to the first time they'd had sex as a threesome. Seth had been every bit the blushing virgin that he was channeling now. And then, the words had just burst forth out of his mouth, and Roman had to do everything within his power to stifle the almost immediate hard-on, whilst simultaneously pushing down the sudden urge to begin hyperventilating.

Seeing the look on Roman's face made Seth blush even darker, and then hurriedly shake his head. "No, I don't mean it like that!" And then, quickly, "I just... I'm scared, okay? I know that he's dead and I know that he can't hurt me... but that first time... in the shower..." tears were forming on his lashes, hanging heavily as they fattened.

"You'd rather go with the evil you know." For lack of a better phrase, of course. Roman had absolutely no intentions of trying anything sketchy in the shower.

"Yes." Seth nodded hurriedly. "I mean, if you don't want to... I understand. Really." He wrapped his arms around his middle in a sort of self-hug. "To be completely honest, I wouldn't want to shower with someone as trashed and dirty and worthless as I am... I know what he did to me... and now I can't stand myself..."

Roman was off of the bed immediately, crossing the distance between himself and Seth and enveloping the slightly smaller man in his arms. Cradling the smaller body close to his chest, he whispered in Seth's ear, "You should never let the blood of a devil taint the wings of an angel."

"I-I'm not an angel. I'm hideous." By this time, Seth was sobbing breathlessly into Roman's shoulder.

"No more hideous than I am." Roman assured him, not-so-subtly reminding him that Ryback had violated him too. "The Shield is just a little cracked, that's all."

'Cracked' was a little bit of an understatement. They were in the middle of an emotional war, with unknown combatants on all sides. Roman had to balance his emotional state with the greatest lie of all, what had actually happened to Dean, all the while making sure that Seth was safe and as happy as possible. Seth had to balance his cracked psyche with the knowledge that Roman was keeping something important from him, all the while wondering why Dean suddenly up and left them. They were one man down and enduring heavy fire. If something didn't let-up or improve in the near future... they were done for.

"C'mon, you wanted a shower, right?" Roman slowly released him, not knowing whether or not Seth needed him to hold him longer. "Do you want to get undressed now, or in the bathroom?" For a moment, Seth blinked dumbly, not following. Then, he shrugged, staring down at the floor. Roman sighed, "Would you like my help?"

"W-What?" Seth stammered, clearly caught off-guard by the proposition.

"You weren't answering my earlier questions, so I asked if you wanted me to help you to get undressed." Roman responded in a matter-of-fact manner.

Seth averted his eyes, not wanting to see the undeniable truth that would be reflected in Roman's. "Only if you're willing to endure my hideousness. I wouldn't want to offend you or anything." Roman could see that this was deeply troubling Seth, and that concerned him. "Do whatever you want."

Roman frowned. Growling low in the back of his throat, he fisted two large handfuls of Seth's shirt and pulled him closer until their chests collided painfully. Seth let out a somewhat startled, somewhat scared sound as he landed on Roman's muscular form. "You are beautiful, Seth. I don't want to ever hear you say that you're hideous again."

"Whatever." The flippant comment only served to further fuel Roman's anger. Clearly, their time apart had done little to help his rebellious streak. And just because Dean usually took on a more active role in 'punishing' and 'character building', it didn't mean that he could just brush Roman off in the way that he had.

"Seth," Once again, Seth averted his eyes. "Seth! Listen to me!"

Finally, Seth paused. He stared at Roman with wide, teary eyes. "What?"

"You know that I'm not the romantic, sappy type, so listen up - I'm only going to say this once." Roman informed him stiffly. "You're perfect, just the way you are. You're perfectly broken, just like I am." Here, he paused. Then, "You are beautiful... and I would be happy to undress you, if that's what you want."

Seth sniffled, and Roman knew that the tears would be returning soon enough. While Seth still had control of himself, however, he quickly nodded - Roman, taking this as consent, began to slowly and carefully take Seth's clothes off. Seth watched him carefully, calculating every one of his movements to make sure that nothing that he did would catch him off-guard. He wouldn't dare let anything or anyone do that to him ever again, if it was within his power. When he was fully naked, Roman quickly undressed himself as well. For several moments, they simply stood there, taking in each other's scars. Then, Roman took him by the hand and led him to the shower.

Both realized that this was a giant step in the right direction.