Warning: Violence, blood and mentions of attempted rape.
Chapter 19: I'll protect you.
When I arrive to where I left Anna, my legs are burning and I can barely breathe. Still, I don't care about this as I frantically search for Anna, only to find her discarded backpack where she was before. I chill ran down my spine as I get out my cellphone with shaky hands, barely being able to hold it, much less dial her number, in my panicked state.
After a few seconds, I'm able to collect myself enough to call my girlfriend. However, she doesn't answer, even after the phone rang twice, then trice… Finally, I'm sent to her voicemail and I hang up. It's not normal that she isn't answering. Hans has had to get to her before me. It's exactly how it happened with my brother; no matter how fast I run, how much I try to save my loved ones… I can't. And now Anna will die because of my incompetence.
No, this isn't the time to indulge in self-pity. I can still save her. I have to find her.
With that hopeful thought in mind (because hope should always be the last thing to die, not the first), I take a deep breath and look around to see where he could have possibly taken her. I walk to the closest street that I can see and look at it. It's too crowded; he wouldn't have risked taking her there, so I search in the next one. This one is empty and dark because of the tall buildings that surround it. It's a long shot, but maybe he led her though this street.
I hesitate a moment before entering, because what if Anna isn't here? What if I'm getting further away from her? I'm risking a lot here, but I decide there are probably the same odds of Anna being over here or not, so I take the risk and run down the street. At the same time, I dial Anna's number again, hoping for her to answer or, at least, for her cellphone tone to be loud enough for me to hear it from where I am. Unfortunately, none of those possibilities happen. I clench my teeth and keep running, thinking about which of these streets I would turn at I was going to murder someone. Finally, I stop in a creepy-looking street and enter it without a second thought. Here, the houses look poor and dirty, and there's no one around. And that's the problem; if Hans passed through here, he must then have taken her somewhere else, but all of the streets this one leads to are ugly-looking and empty, so any of them could be a good option.
Desperately, I dial Anna's number once more, this time not putting my cellphone to my ear, but looking around hoping to catch the sound of Anna's. Again, nothing, so I take one random street and start running to where it looks more awful, dialing Anna's number again as I do so. At first, I don't hear anything, but then I stop. There's a quiet sound that I don't quite recognize as Anna's cellphone tone, but it's better than running around blindly, so I take another street in the direction of that sound. After a while, it starts to fade, so I turn another corner, hoping to get closer to it, and now I'm close enough to hear that, indeed, it's Anna's cellphone.
I keep running, trying to find it, getting a little lost with all the streets I turn, but soon enough I reach it; it's laying on the floor. Its screen is broken, but somehow it still rings. However, Anna isn't here, and that worries me because how am I going to find her now? I don't even know where I am anymore, just that this place seems to have been taken out of a horror movie.
Suddenly, I hear a scream, not too far away where I am.
"Help!" It's Anna's voice, and it sounds desperate. I feel my legs tremble in fear, but I still force them to move in the direction of the voice as my girlfriend asks for help again. Then, the screams stop, but I've memorized where the voice was coming, so I turn a corner to find myself in an empty alley, but Anna isn't there.
"Fuck!" I curse out loud as I kick an empty can, because without Anna's screams to guide me, this will be more difficult than I thought. I was so sure she was here!
Suddenly, I hear a pained cry, coming from somewhere quite near to where I'm standing and, without giving it a second thought, I run towards it, finally coming to a dirty alley full of trash, where Hans is repeatedly smashing Anna's head against the wall.
"Anna!" I scream, making Hans let go of her and turn around as Anna collapses on the ground, unconscious.
"Oh, Elsa. You arrive just in time." He smirks wickedly. "I was just about to finish with Anna."
Suddenly, a rush of anger surges within me. I feel my body tense and prepare to attack, I see red, I hear the blood in my ears. I've never been so angry. I'm not afraid anymore; I can only think about ripping Hans' head off his body.
Without thinking it twice, I lunge towards him, trying to land a punch in his ugly face, but he sidesteps me and I don't even touch him. However, before he can register what's happening, I turn around and this time I'm able to hit him, having caught him by surprise. My hand hurts, but it was worth it. He recovers quickly though, and tries to punch me too, but I jump back and barely avoid his fist. At the same time, I aim to kick his balls but he stops my leg with his hands, then pushing it and making me lose my balance. I land on the ground and feel pain on my rear, but whatever; it's not that bad.
I get up again, just as he's walking towards me, and try to give him a good hook to his ribs. Unfortunately, I don't know a thing about fights and he's way stronger. He easily grabs my fist and twists it, and I scream in pain as I fight to get free of his clench, only managing to do it after hitting his head with mine with all my strength. It hurts a lot, but at least now I'm free.
I'm panting now, as I notice the effects of the adrenaline wear off. It's been keeping me up all this time, since I found that Anna wasn't where I left her, but I guess even it has its limits. I have to end this soon, before he overpowers me too much.
Unfortunately, my hit made him very angry, since it drew blood out of his forehead. He's furious now, and I'm getting scared, but I know there's nothing to do now, except fight for my life.
He charges towards me, and I'm lucky enough to barely dodge his punch, but unfortunately he lands a powerful hit with his knee at my stomach, knocking all the air out of my lungs. Before I can recover, he also punches my face and I'm thrown to the ground with the force of the impact, and then he starts kicking me repeatedly at my stomach. I try to protect myself with my arms, but it's useless; if I cover my face, he kicks my belly and back, and I don't want to risk him kicking my head. I've never felt so much pain before… except maybe when I tried to commit suicide, but that was different. This is a pain that doesn't subside, that doesn't slowly make me drift to slumber; it's a pain that intensifies every moment.
Just when I think I may pass out, he finally stops, panting, to then kneel beside me and looking at me with amusement.
"That's what happens when you try to ruin my plans." He says, an evil smile appearing on that ugly face of him. I want to punch him so badly! But I can't even move a finger without feeling unbearable pain. "And now, so you don't forget the lesson, what about watching me have fun with that whore you call your girlfriend?" I clench my teeth. How dares he?!
"L-leave her… a-alone." I'm barely able to utter. "O-or…"
"Or what?" He asks with a smug expression. "You'll glare at me till I die? I don't think you can do much more in your current state."
I hate to admit it, but he's right, I mean, what can I do?! Even talking is painful! Even breathing for fuck's sake! He hurt me badly. So I stare helplessly as he approaches Anna and squats at her side, taking her chin with his hand.
"She's quite pretty, don't you think?" He asks as he examines her face. "It'd be a shame if her face got marred." He pauses, as an evil grin appears on his face and gives me chills. "However, I don't really care about it anymore, since she chose you over me. So, let's have some fun." As he says this, he pulls an object out of his pocket, one that, after a few moments, I recognize as a clasp-knife. Fear takes hold of my entire body as I see him approaching said object to her face. I try to get up, but I collapse whimpering in pain.
"N-no… s-stop." I weakly protest, tears of impotence falling from my eyes.
"What's the fun on that?" He says as I try to get up again with equally unsatisfactory results, and I scream in desperation. "Just relax and enjoy the show. And while you're lying there, just think about the fact that, when Anna looks at her face on the mirror again, when she sees how much of an abomination she's become, when she doesn't want to go out of her house anymore, afraid of what people will say… it'll be all your fault. Because you weren't strong enough to stop me, because, despite all, I'm better than you." He lets out a chuckle. "And then Anna won't be able to look at your face again, because she'd also know that if she's now deformed, it's because of you!" His expression is that of a mad man, and his smile more wicked than the ones of all the movie villains, and for a moment, a part of me wants to give up. Because, what chance do I have against someone like him? I can't save Anna, he was right; I'm not good enough, I've never been. I couldn't even save my brother, why should it be different this time?
Because you've gone through the pain of losing someone you love. You know how it feels, like you've lost a part of yourself. You know you won't be able to live with this, becauseit was Anna the one who made you want to experience life again. She didn't give up on you even when you pushed her away, now don't give up on her, or you'd truly be a failure.
Suddenly, it's like a burst of energy surged within my veins, and despite the pain, despite the fatigue… I'm able to get up, stumble a few steps and charge against Hans with all my strength. He turns around, but it's too late; I'm able to stop him from hurting Anna, and we both fall to the ground. We quickly separate from each other and I shakily stand up… only to notice a sharp pain in my abdomen. I look down and find a quickly growing red stain in my shirt. Hans also notices this and looks at his bloody blade. He seems agitated, nervous, like he just realized I'm surely gonna die, and he will go to jail for the rest of his life. I smirk, satisfied that at least my death will do something good.
A sound is heard in the distance and Hans, panicked, runs away with all his might. At the same time, my legs give in and I fall, hitting my head in the process. I can't decide what hurts more, if my stomach, that I'm currently clutching with my hands, trying to stop the pain, or my head. Either way, I'm sure it'll be over soon. I just wish I could talk to Anna again before dying… And that thought actually saddens me, because I don't want to die, not now that I finally found a purpose, but… I guess there's nothing to do about it now, so I allow myself to relax. I guess there's no point in dying stressed.
The minutes pass and, instead of incrementing, the pain starts to fade, as well as my senses. It'll be over soon. Too soon. And I'm nervous, because I don't' know what'll happen when I die. Will it be like a dreamless sleep? Or will there be an after-life? In that case, will all my memories be erased? Will I reincarnate? It's a funny thing that when I attempted suicide this questions didn't cross my mind.
"Elsa!" A scream pulls me out of my thoughts, just before Anna's beautiful face appears above me. "Elsa, are you okay?!" She asks frantically, her face showing utter fear. I hate to make her feel like this, but I guess it can't be helped. At least I was able to see her once more before leaving.
"Ah… A-an… A-Anna." I say with the last of my strength, my voice sounding hoarse and weak, before darkness engulfs me completely, effectively making the pain banish, but also the sight of Anna's beautiful face, of Anna's wonderful freckles, and the sound of her gorgeous voice.
That's the only bad thing about death; Anna isn't there.
And with that final thought, I'm submerged in darkness.
Well, apparently death isn't like a dreamless sleep, because I do feel something. I can tell up from down, I can feel that I'm lying on something rough, though somewhat soft, and a hear a sound like… beeping? Wait, why do I hear a beeping? And why do I feel sore? Shouldn't death have ended with my pain? I wonder if I can move…
I try moving my fingers and, surprisingly, I find myself clutching a rough cloth. Then I move my toes, again getting positive results.
Well, it seems I'm not dead.
I open my eyes and blink a few times trying to adjust to the white light coming from a lamp above me. Once I manage to do it, I turn to look at the thing that's doing the beeping sound; a heart rate machine that's apparently registering my heart's activity. I then look at my arms and find that I'm attached to a blood dispenser. In that moment I realize I should've been taken to a hospital.
I turn to my right and discover that Anna's sitting at my side, looking to the ceiling like she's deep in thought. I notice she has a bandage wrapped around her head.
"Anna?" I call her, my voice thankfully sounding normal and not like I'm dying.
"Elsa!" Anna exclaims noticing that I woke up, and a moment later my lips are furiously attacked by hers, as she kisses me desperately, like she thought she wouldn't have the opportunity to do it again. At first I'm caught off guard, but then I try to reciprocate, however, I don't really have time to do so as Anna suddenly starts shaking as tears fall from her eyes. "Elsa." She says trying to contain her sobs, and I'm not sure what's happening here, or why is she crying, but I still hug her, hoping to calm her down.
"A-are you alright?" I ask concerned, but my question only makes her laugh.
"You're asking if I'm alright?" She asks in disbelief. "I wasn't the one who spent an hour unconscious! Don't ever do that again, you hear me? Don't do that again." She leans in and rests her head on my shoulder as she keeps crying, and now I'm even more confused, so I just say the first thing that comes to my mind.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, you idiot." She answers, separating slightly from me so she can look me in the eye. "You saved me, and I'm eternally grateful for that." She pauses, swallowing, and I look at her intently, noticing the truth on her words. "But nothing in this world is worth losing you."
"Well, I feel the same way about you." I say blushing, and this makes Anna smile before giving me a small peck on my lips, which makes butterflies appear on my stomach, but I still manage to continue. "And there's no way I was going to let Hans kill you."
"He wasn't going to kill me." She says, only to mentally berate herself for it the next second. I wonder what she's trying to hide
"But I thought…" I pause, taking a deep breath, preparing myself to ask the next question, even though I fear the answer. "What was he trying to do?"
"H-he…" She starts but pauses, deviating her gaze. "Nothing, he was just trying to scare me."
"Really?" I frown. "Because to do that he didn't need to smash your head against the wall until you fell unconscious." I shudder; that memory is going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.
"Uhm… yeah… Well, maybe he was trying to do something bad." She answers with nervousness. "He probably wanted to beat me and that's all." By her tone of voice, I can say without doubt that she's lying, but why?
"Anna…" I sat looking her intently, hoping to make her talk. After only a few moments, it works.
"Okay, maybe he wanted to rape me." She admits, but her words take time to sink in, I mean, I know Hans is a pretty horrible person, but to try to rape someone?! That's entirely another thing. Now all the pain I feel is more worth it, if I was able to save Anna from such a terrible agony.
However, in that moment, my lovely girlfriend starts to cry again, this time probably because I made her remember that traumatic experience.
"Anna?" I ask worried as I gently wipe her tears, my heart breaking when I see her devastated expression. "Don't cry. It didn't happen. You're safe now." I attempt to comfort her.
"Yes, but because of my stupidity you got hurt." She answers, and suddenly it's quite obvious she's blaming herself for all of this, when really she was the victim.
"It wasn't your fault. It was Hans'." I reassure her.
"Yes, but if I had figured out he was a bad guy since the beginning, then…
"Anna, you weren't the first to be tricked by Hans' charm." I cut her, because I know how much it hurts when you think bad things about yourself, and I don't want her to suffer like I did. "You can ask anyone at school, and they'll all tell you that he had many lovers the past few years, and each one of them was left alone and emotionally destroyed."
"Yeah, but I bet he didn't rape any of them." She argues.
"You don't know that." I answer, because really, knowing what he was planning to do to Anna, I wouldn't be surprised if he had raped some of them too. "But even if he didn't, that'd be only because they all submitted themselves to him, only to be tossed in his 'trash can' as soon as he'd used them. You weren't stupid; you were smart. If you had continued in that sick relationship any longer, you'd be more damaged than you are now." I pause, swallowing, because that scenario is too painful to be considered. "And so would I. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. I can't stand seeing you suffering." At this, tears start falling from my eyes, and I can only pull Anna closer and hold her, trying to reassure myself that she is with me, that I managed to save her and that we're both safe now. But then she reassumes her sobbing and we stay like that, crying in each other's arms for a few moments (I don't know if we're crying from happiness or sadness or whatever), until we finally feel good enough to calm down a little.
That's when the door opens and the doctor enters.
The doctor chastises Anna for not calling him immediately after I woke up, even though I tell him that it's alright and I'm feeling well enough, considering the circumstances. However, he still insists on examining me and Anna excuses herself and leaves us alone as she goes search for her parents, who apparently came to see her.
After the doctor is done (he concludes that I still need rest but I'll probably be alright), Anna returns… with four more people. Gerda practically crushes me into a hug as soon as she enters the room, and it hurts a lot, but I don't tell her anything, because I'm actually grateful that she came (surprised, mostly, but also grateful). Kai also greats me kindly, though he's more careful than Gerda and decides not to touch me. I'm not going to lie, I still feel a little uncomfortable when they express so much concern about me, but I'm getting used to it, I guess.
The next ones to talk to me are my in-laws… okay, Anna's parents, and they thank me profusely for saving their daughter and also ask me to testify against Hans when we go to trial (they also informed me that the police have already captured him, and I can't help letting out a sigh of relief at the news). I would love for him to get a life-long sentence, but I wonder if "attempted rape" is a crime big enough for that.
However, they then start asking questions.
"So, Elsa, how did you find Anna?" Anna's father asks.
"Well… first I called her, after some girls from high school told me Hans was going to do something bad to her, but she didn't answer. I kept calling her though, and it turned out to be a good thing, since I was able to hear her cellphone when I started to search for her in those dark streets. Then I heard screams and ran into that direction until I finally found her." I explain. "When I found her…" I swallow, trying not to remember the scene too vividly. "Hans was smashing her head against a wall…" I feel my throat start getting swollen and my eyes burning with barely contained tears as I visualize the image of my loved one being so brutally hurt.
"It's okay." Anna says reassuringly. "You don't have to describe it." I sigh in relief when her father agrees, nodding as he places a hand on my shoulder. I'm just not ready to talk about it yet.
"Anna is right. All that matters is that you saved our baby and we're eternally in debt to you." He says with a gentle smile.
"It was nothing." I answer politely. "I couldn't just let him ra…" I stop there, because I almost spilled the truth without knowing if Anna has told her parents about it and if she even wants to tell them. I turn to look at her to see what I should do.
"It's alright. You can tell them." She says resigned and I sigh, because I kinda was hoping for her to say no, since it's already difficult enough for me to know about this, and to think what her parents will say… it worries me, but I know it has to be done.
"From what Anna told me… he was going to rape her." I say quietly.
"WHAT?!" he scream so loudly that I have to cover my ears.
"But he didn't. And he's surely going to jail, so…" Anna attempts to brush it off, but they aren't going to let this drop so easily.
"But why would he try to rape you?!" Her mother exclaims with an overly concerned tone.
"I don't know." She shrugs, looking to the ground. "Maybe because I was the first one who didn't want to have sex with him."
Technically the second one, but at least I was never friends with benefits with him.
"We have to make him pay." Her father says rather angrily. His face is now red with rage and his veins are protruding. He's also clenching his fists, like he wants to beat Hans into a bloody pulp. I can relate all too well with that feeling.
"We will." Anna's mother says, trying to placate him. "At the trial." She remarks with that stern voice and an overly cold glare that I'm sure could make anyone obey her instantly.
"Alright." He agrees, clearly fighting to calm down. "Meanwhile, Anna will stay at home all the time. I don't want another incident."
"WHAT?!" This time Anna's scream is the one that almost makes me jump. "You can't do that! I'm about to finish this year!"
"I won't let you be in danger again." He argues, and suddenly tears are falling down Anna's cheeks and her jaw and firsts are clenched tightly. I can tell she's utterly angry, sad and frustrated at the same time. I want to interfere, but her furious voice cuts me.
"Well, I don't care what you say, I'm not spending another decade talking to paintings just because you don't deem the world to be safe enough for me! I can take care of myself! If was ever in danger it was because I didn't know anything about the world thanks to your stupid actions!" She spats fearlessly. I bet if I ever talked like that to my father, he'd sent me with a one-way ticket to Antarctica (In winter).
"We will discuss it later." Anna's mother tries to intervene, but this time her commanding attitude doesn't give any results.
"No!" Anna and her father yell. "We'll solve this now!" I can tell they both have the same fiery personality.
I know I should intervene, after all Anna asked me to go to her place today to convince her parents not to lock her in her house again… but I'm afraid of what they'll say. I'm afraid to put myself on their bad side, and I'm not even sure they'll listen to me… But I have to try it. I promised Anna I would save her from imprisonment and I will. I don't want anyone to make her suffer, even if they are her own parents and only want the best for her.
"Uhm… excuse me." I say, my voice much shyer than I wanted, but still all heads turn to me. "If I could give you my opinion…"
"Look, I appreciate that you saved Anna." Anna's father interrupts me. "But this is a decision that we…"
"Let her talk." Her mother cuts him off, raising her hand. He looks at her for one moment before sighing and turning to me. Now they're all waiting for me to talk. I've never been good talking in public, and I feel very nervous, but Anna's hopeful face gives me enough courage to continue. She trusts me and I'm not going to disappoint her.
"Uh…" I fidget, wondering where to start, because I really don't want to sound like I think I know better than them how to raise their daughter, but I still need to make my point clear. "Well, I know you probably already know this, but I still want to point it out." I breathe, trying to relax a little. "The reason Anna doesn't want to stay at home is not only that she likes being outside, but that she's afraid of being alone. Not only afraid." I correct myself. "She's terrified. Being locked in again would destroy her, and I'm sure none of us want that." I look at them with pleading eyes, remembering how distressed Anna looked earlier this day when she was pleading me not to tell her parents about the bullying, fearing that they'd lock her up again. "You don't want her to get hurt, and I get that… but by locking her up again, you'd hurt her more than anything Hans could ever do." I pause, swallowing and taking a deep breath, gathering my thoughts as I make my most convincing argument. "Besides, she wouldn't be alone. She has friends now, who will look out for her and keep her out of trouble, and…" I hesitate before saying my next words, because there's a possibility they'd interpret them as if I was in love with her (which I am, but still), but decide to say it anyways. I don't think they'll immediately think that I'm a pervert who's trying to get into their daughter's pants. "She has me. And I will protect her with my life if necessary; she helped me when I needed her most, and now I'm forever in debt to her. I won't let any harm come to her if it's within my power to stop it, I promise." Suddenly, Anna starts to tear up and, before I can ask what's wrong she throws herself into my arms and starts sobbing as she hugs me tightly and says "thank you" over and over again, and in that moment I understand that she is utterly touched by my words. I smile fondly at her before pulling her close and caressing softly her back.
It totally catches me by surprise when two more people join our embrace, making me flinch a little (though I refrain myself good enough) and I hear Anna's father saying:
"Thank you, Elsa. I'm happy to see that Anna is now in good hands. I trust you."