Author's Note: Hey all! I'm sorry for the long wait, but I am unfortunately (well, very fortunately) in college and my schedule is as varied as my level of inspiration for writing. But this story has been sitting so heavy on my mind for so long that I'm sure I'll be updating with more regularity this spring. Expect one week between each update (and try to hold me to it ). And I noticed there was some request for me providing more backstory, etc. And the answer is no… I prefer to let the writing speak for itself, yeah? Thanks so much for your time&attention.
BPOV
Breathe.
Perhaps the easiest thing, in the lovely shallow place between oblivion and wakefulness. I imagine that it is as a lovely pond, in the late springtime. Quiet whisper-water flowing with gentle tread over sun-faded stone smooth to the touch. I imagine lying in this serene cradle, as I lie tender before waking. But breathing here comes easy and soft, for I have not yet come home to my body. Breathing is as much a thought as an action. Come into myself, go out. In, and out.
The water seems to breathe, and warms my bones along with the sunshine. This peace has a special aura to it, and I stretch beneath the lovely springtime sun in a languid motion that hints at rest ahead. My bones seem to elongate under the nurturing quiet, and drifting away from this place brings tears to my eyes.
I have come back into my body, or rather, back into my nightmare.
This waking is so different, however. Because it feels warmer the closer and closer my face drifts to the surface, and the water breathes in and out around me. In, and out.
And at once!
My face above the water, my face in reality. My face attached to my body and skin currently in the posession of another! He surrounds me, flush against me, naked as the day he was born and oh!
He is so upsettingly, disturbingly, nightmarishly big all around. Every part. And I do mean every part, which beckons my tears to be born quickly from my eyes as my body contracts in a sob.
I burst from his arms as a bird flushed from a thicket, crying hard and loud now, and tumbling back to the hard cement floor. My bones creak with the impact and I feel pain blossom under my taunt skin. He lifts his great head with its shock of hair, and his shock of expression, and he is absolutely
absolutely
stunning and I hate him for it. It stills my tears and my breath and I sit, nakedness forgotten, mouth open and openly staring at this man.
EPOV
She woke me with a violent motion that quite disturbed me. The other girls always took immediate solace in my company, and beyond my actions dictated by the voice, were never afraid. I suppose her action only lends more truth to my theory that this is not her first nightmare.
I move forward towards her, down off the bed. I choose to remain on my hands and knees, since it seems this is the level that she honestly seems most comfortable with. I say honestly because this girl is a true open book. Her wide, decadent eyes show every moment how she feels, and right now I am absolutely struck by the urge to remove the terror from them.
I speak softly, and let the words land gently on delicate ears.
"Isabella, my name is Edward."
She startles at the sound still, still quaking like a leaf in an October wind.
"Bella."
"Beautiful." I smile at her voice, which is a whisper that enters the world as if it has absolutely no right to be there at all. But at this compliment, she whimpers and bites her lip. I can read it on her face, how uncomfortable she is with this attention, and I make note. Unfortunately, what will happen in the nearer-than-acceptable future will be much worse than an innocent compliment.
"Bella. I don't know where you came from before, but what matters most is surviving where you- we, are now. It won't be easy, but I'm here and we can do it together. I will always do my best to protect you, but sometimes that means hurting you."
She nearly imperceptably nods her head, and I can see acceptance in her eyes. Good, she trusts me. But shit, because I need her to retain the will to live. Once the other girls accepted our condition completely, their fate was completely sealed. Well. That's what I tell myself to be able to sleep at night.
I reach forward brazenly, because I suspect it will work. And it does, for when my hands enclose her on either side, she scampers right into my lap like the starved-for-contact little bunny she is.
I rub her arms in a hopefully soothing way, wincing at the way her spine seems to push strong against the skin of her back. Her shoulders protrude like wings, and huddled in my lap the way she is, she is truly fragile.
Her nakedness is so strange to me. With all the others, it ceased to shock me- the unapologetically feminine nature of bare woman. But with this small creature, I cannot stop looking. My heart simply aches to care for her, to nurture her into the ravishing beauty she ought to be. Evidence of her womanhood is there, in the curve of her hip and the perfection of the form of her breast. But she is like a bird, with hollow- and sharp-looking bones that betray her ill health.
I honestly hope that I can at least maintain her current state. I must protect her, I must. It won't matter how sane I keep her if her body is starved out of existence.
"Good morning, Edward."
I don't even startle at the voice. How can I? It has been my one constant throughout this mess. The girls have come and gone (but this one will not!).
"Please take Isabella to the other room." It is in little statements like this that his true depravity shines through. He would never say her room. I know that he can never imagine anything as hers. None of the girls ever achieved any level of humanity for him. None.
I pick her up as I stand, which quickens the quaking, before I have the good sense to hold her tightly enough to give her some semblance of stability. Once standing, I carry her slowly across to her space. I stop about a foot from the bed and wait for further-
"FUCK!" The word is out of my mouth before I can stop it, and a scream as well, an absolute nightmare of a beast of a noise that flies quickly from deep within me. I drop the girl, falling to my knees as she clatters to the floor like broken china. The shock from the collar is gone as quickly as he gave it to me, and I shudder for a few moments with my eyes closed before opening them.
"Pick. Her. Up. Edward."
My body protests as I stand again, gathering my crying little bundle back into the not-safety-at-all of my arms (I know he is playing one of his games now).
Whispering down into her ear, I say: "Alright bunny, just keep still and trust me. It will be over soo-"
Again, and again.
He shocks me until there are stars in my eyes that last long until the next shock.
He shocks me until the bruising on her body becomes terribly, terribly clear.
He shocks me until I finally toss her onto her bed, sink to my knees, and cry.
I don't pick her up again.
He doesn't ask me to.
BPOV
Pain.