Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.
Rated: M
Warning(s): Slash, Threesome, Alleged Suicide, Self-Harm, etc.

Seth showed Dean to the bedroom and had him lie down for awhile, acknowledging the fact that he'd had a trying and traumatic few months. He tossed him a pair of Roman's sweat bottoms to change into - they were a little too big, but Seth's would've been much too small. Once he changed into the pants, he slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling the mattress dip lazily beneath his weight. It felt weird for Seth to see Dean in their bed, especially after so much time had passed where it had been only him and Roman. But just as he expected, although it felt weird, it seemed oddly right.

They stood in silence for several moments. Seth was replaying the earlier scene over and over in his head - he was understandably disgusted by the idea of thirteen people within a company that he'd laid his life on the line for betraying him in such a personal manner. Dean was fidgeting awkwardly. After several seconds, Seth noticed. And then, he vanished into the bathroom. Coming back several seconds later, he tossed him a bottle of pain medication, which Dean took gratefully. He swallowed down two capsules and then tossed it back.

"He'll come back." The comment seemed oddly out of left field, out of place. However, both were painfully aware of what exactly it was that he meant. Roman.

"Yeah." Gently, Dean traced his fingers over the bruise on his cheek. If Seth wasn't mistaken, the bruise had become darker and the skin almost shined. Roman certainly hadn't held back when he'd let loose on his face. "I know."

Seth sighed. Closing the distance between them, he placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Roman will understand. Once everything is out in the open... he will."

Dean refused to meet his eyes. "I know. I know." But he really didn't.

Roman did come back, just as Seth had said that he would. It was dark by then, around one or two in the morning. The door opened and it hit the far wall with a slam, startling both Seth and Dean, who had crashed in the bed together. Seth shot up like a rocket, blanket falling around his waist. He was shirtless, and it made the cast on his wrist stand out, ugly and dark, against his pale skin. Dean was a little slower to come-to, sitting up slowly, arm unraveling from Seth's waist and falling to his side. He groggily rubbed at his eyes, careful to avoid the still-smarting bruise on his cheek.

"Oh, look." There was a dark, condescending note in his voice. "You know, while I was gone, I kinda wondered whether either of you would notice. Now, I know the answer. Neither of you give a damn." He laughed, brokenly. "You two are perfect for each other, you know that?"

"Roman..." Seth had tears in his eyes once again, and one had to wonder if he hadn't already cried them all.

"No, no." Roman shook his head, raising his hands. The light caught his wrist and both could see dried blood on the skin, blood that he couldn't wash away. "I'm not blind." And then, "Do you even realize what you put me through? What it did to me to see you lying there, to think that you were dead?"

"Roman, I..." but Roman cut him off.

"I really don't want to hear it." Was he crying? No... Roman didn't cry. "You must think that I'm just a toy - I'm just the emotionless muscle of the group. I'm the backbone, the strong one, the one that always takes all the shit and just gets back up and keeps on taking it."

"R-Roman..." Seth was off of the bed and slowly making his way toward the big man. "Roman, y-you're scaring me."

"Oh, I'm scaring you, am I?" Roman backed away from him. "Just because I'm showing you how I really feel, showing a little emotion, that's scaring you?"

An emotional Roman was exactly as to be expected. All of the emotion that he'd bottled up since the rape was now coming out in one explosive burst, and really, it was scary. Neither man had ever seen Roman cry, and as it gradually became impossible to deny the salty tear tracts streaming down his face, the other two found themselves at a loss for how to make them stop. Had this been Seth, he took well to physical comfort. He wanted to be cuddled and kissed and comforted. Had it been Dean, he usually needed to calm by himself before he sought comfort from the others.

Although Roman was an entirely different story. He kept to himself and rarely, if ever, discussed his emotions. Now, they realized that perhaps he'd wanted, no, needed, to discuss those emotions all along, but they simply hadn't seen it because it just wasn't 'like him'. If it didn't fit into the strict role that they were supposed to play, then it simply didn't happen. But now, they realized just how wrong that previously held belief was. Roman was broken, bleeding, perhaps beyond repair, and the two that he had trusted most had been oblivious to it from the start. The phrase 'it just wasn't like him' seemed so empty and hollow now.

"Roman," Seth swallowed hard, swallowed down his emotion, because he knew that Roman was the one who needed to be broken right then. Gingerly, he took hold of Roman's wrist and pulled back his sleeve, showing off a deep, fresh cut. Roman flinched, but did not look away, "How long?"

"Why does it matter? It won't change a thing." His voice was cold, detached. He tried to yank his arm away, but Seth wouldn't let him.

Seth didn't back down from his resolve, however. He could be just as stubborn as Roman, if not more so. "How. Long?"

Roman growled, the sound deep and low in the back of his throat. It didn't scare Seth away. For some reason, Roman had known from the start that it wouldn't. Finally, resolve shattered, he hissed, "A month and a half."

Seth sniffled, but once again, swallowed back the tears. All that time, it had just been him and Roman. Granted, part of that time he'd spent in the hospital, but still. He'd been Roman's partner, his closest ally, and he'd been too caught up in his own personal pain and drama to really notice what was going on with Roman. Now, to see the scars on Roman's arm, to see what he was doing to himself that had gone under the radar for so long... it made him feel low and unworthy. Roman watched as all of this reflected in Seth's eyes, and he really tried to remain stoic, but it was hard - especially with Seth's lower lip trembling the way that it was.

"Why are you so upset, Seth?" Roman tried to sound nonchalant, but concern and pain were leaking into his tone.

"Because... Because you've been doing this to yourself for so long... and I could have helped you..." Seth wiped at his eyes, angry that he could not control his wayward emotions. "I could have helped you, but you wouldn't let me. Didn't you... Didn't you trust me?" His voice sounded so broken, almost betrayed.

Roman sighed, before pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's not that I didn't trust you, Seth... I just didn't want to trouble you with it, that's all."

"But you're my lover! You're supposed to be my problem!" Seth exclaimed. "We're supposed to bear each other's problems and burdens. That's the promise we made to each other. We can't go back on that now - not now, not ever."

"Especially not after everything that we've been through together. We can't give up on each other now." Dean added, carefully inserting himself into the conversation.

Roman sighed once again, "You're getting worked up over nothing." But he was getting worked up too, and that was impossible to deny.

Seth grabbed his wrist, fingers pressing into the bloody skin harder than absolutely necessary. Blood was oozing up onto his fingers and Seth's eyes were dark and wild as he hissed, "This... This isn't nothing!" Now, all traces of tears were gone. Now, he just looked undoubtedly pissed-off.

"Like I said," Roman tried to wrench his arm free, but for once, Seth was stronger. "It's nothing to get worried over."

Dean looked at him sadly, recognizing that a hefty part of this fell on his shoulders. He'd been so sure that his plan would fix everything, but, in the end, it only made everything worse. "Why can't you just let us take care of you, Roman? Why can't you let us do for you, what you've always done for us?"

Silence. Painful silence. Roman was finally able to wrench his hand free, and, agitatedly, he yanked his sleeves down to cover the mess on his forearms. He had a manic look in his eyes, similar to that of a cornered animal. They were going against their set roles, attempting to break out of the comfortable conformity of who they were and how neatly they fit into the already defined lines of their relationship. They were questioning that natural order - stepping out of the lines of dominant and submissive, injured and comforter, lovers and loved. Now, none of that existed any longer. They were simply... there.

Seth had begun the process a long time ago, realizing that, in order for their relationship to survive, many things would have to change. He'd questioned his role as submissive and had gradually worked to reverse the trend, taking a stronger stand in matters relating to his own health and wellbeing. Dean had turned against his role as Roman's submissive to become his equal, his co-dominant of Seth. And he'd broken that pact when he'd turned on them both and faked his own death. He had, essentially, broken down the barriers of dom/sub relations and become independent. But Roman... he simply couldn't evolve.

Dean met Roman's eyes, staring deep into the murky depths, and forced out one more time, "Why can't you just let us take care of you?"

"Maybe because I don't want to be taken care of." Roman hissed darkly. If they thought that they'd been getting through to him, they'd been sadly mistaken. "I don't need to be coddled just because I'm broken. I don't need to be kissed and held and all of that shit. And I certainly don't need the two of you."

"Roman..." Seth trailed off softly, taking a step back. His hand was still soaked in Roman's blood.

But Roman wasn't listening. He took out his suitcase and hurriedly began packing, clumsily stuffing his clothes into the bag and never once looking back. Dean had hooked an arm around Seth's waist and was rubbing slow, soothing circles into the small of his back - partly to comfort him, partly to hold him back from interfering further. He didn't want Seth to get involved and get snapped at again. He could already see how Roman's cold dismissal was breaking the high-flier, and he didn't want to witness everything that they'd worked to fall to absolute shambles around him.

"Roman, don't -," it was Seth's last attempt at reaching the former football player. They were the last words that he said for a very long time.

Roman didn't even look back as he walked out the door.