It is just like her," Sirius vocalized to his cousin, "To be offended by flattery."
"I'm afraid that Severus might have found your flattery to be disingenuous." Narcissa defended, admirable at playing peacekeeper.
"It certainly wasn't." Sirius defended, finding himself irritated at having his motives questioned.
"But Severus is just so sensitive." Narcissa excused, sending a nosy Petula Parkinson away from their table with a fierce glower.
"I'm afraid I must disagree." Sirius scoffed. "As I find her to be nothing but a thick-skinned instigator."
"You think that, Narcissa bristled, "Only because that is what she wishes you to see."
"If Severus is as sensitive as you claim," Sirius reasoned, "She would not be so very quick to antagonize people."
"Do you still equate defending oneself from bullying as antagonization?" Narcissa snapped, her face coloring brightly with irritation.
"But Narcissa," Sirius rationalized, "You must agree that Severus is deliberately provoking."
"She is most certainly not." Narcissa refuted hotly. "Do you honestly expect Severus to be docile and meek in the face of harassment?"
"Bullied of not," Sirius contended, "She gave back as good as she got, and oftentimes more."
"She would not have felt the need to attack," Narcissa persisted, "If she had not so often been relentlessly provoked."
"Was I not perfectly pleasant in my dealings with Severus just moments ago?" Sirius demanded, entirely exasperated with the argument at hand. "Only to have my civility snarled at?"
"But why should she expect your friendliness to be genuine," Narcissa demanded, "When all she has learned to expect from you is cruelty?"
"Cruelty?" Sirius repeated, scoffing at the very thought. "Let us not exaggerate, dear cousin."
"But is it an exaggeration?" Narcissa grilled, refusing to yield to her opponent.
"It certainly is." Sirius defended, greatly affronted at having had his character so greatly maligned and misinterpreted.
"You seem to willingly forget the horrific incident that Severus suffered during the end of her fifth year." Narcissa hissed. "An infamous assault that you, yourself, played a key role in."
At the mention of such a disastrous, shameful occurrence, Sirius blushed deeply.
"I am not particular proud of that…lapse in judgment." Sirius admitted. "But for you to address such a thing as an assault is disingenuous at best."
"You flung the poor girl into the air and exposed her nakedness before a good portion of the school!" Narcissa fumed. "If such a thing is not cruelty at its finest, I do not know what is."
"I had not intended for that unpleasantness to progress so far." Sirius defended weakly, still blushing heavily at the recollection.
In all honesty, the removal of Severus's bloomers had been done at the hands of James, the quidditch star having been goaded into action by the large crowd cheering him on. In the defense of himself, Sirius had attempted to convince his mate to leave the girl some shred of pride. Only such a suggestion had been made for fear of the what the heightened consequences might have been, should they have been caught, and not in any way out of regard for their victim's already disgraced dignity.
A fear, Sirius reflected, that had been well founded. For as soon as Severus's nakedness had been exposed to the jeering crowd, matters spun quickly out of control. In a fit of merciless schadenfreude, the laughing spectators had happily joined in, each of them taking turns passing the much-loathed Slytherin back and forth.
It had been the absolute fervor of the crowd, at that moment, that had drawn the attentions of the otherwise clueless Professor Sprout. With impossible speeds, the herbology professor had flown over, visibly and uncharacteristically enraged. So furious was the professor, Sirius recalled, that for the very first time in Hogwart's history a mass detention had been awarded- with all fifty-seven spectators having been found to be just as guilty as the Marauders.
"That neither the first nor the last of such vile incidences." Narcissa reminded, looking upon her cousin with poorly concealed disgust.
"But after that day," Sirius defended, "We never again went so far as to violate Severus in such a personal matter."
"Oh, really?" Narcissa demanded, quite contemptuously. "How, then, do you defend James Potter sticking his hand up Severus's skirt not even a week afterward?"
Narcissa's face was perfectly genuine, but Sirius was unwilling to believe anything so vile about his best mate. For while he might have witnessed James inappropriately pinching the outcast on more than one occasion, he had never before observed his fellow Marauder participating in anything beyond that level of churlishness.
"This is the first that I am hearing of such a matter." Sirius managed, his voice weakening beneath the weight of Narcissa's severe look.
"You will find," Narcissa glowered, "That there is a great deal you don't know about your dead friend."
Having thus delivered her sound, albeit harsh chastisement, Narcissa sauntered away with a victorious smirk- leaving Sirius alone to reflect on the parts of his past that made him most ashamed.