AN: Thanks for the reviews... it motivated this outpouring! Another installment for y'all, and during exams no less... please keep your thoughts coming. I would love to know your theories for what will happen to our 3.5 characters.
JBPOV
Despite the months that had flown by since Bella's disappearance, Jake felt the pain of her loss as strong as ever.
He had managed to pull himself off the streets somehow. A friend from his hometown had connected him to a construction job, tied to completion of the project. But when the project ended, Jake had been kept on. He was a hard and honest worker, especially with Bella as his motivation.
He needed credibility before going to the police. He thought they were unlikely to care much for a high-risk victim like her. She had not been born on the streets, but she disappeared off them. They all came from somewhere; Jake knew that better than anyone else. But sometimes the police department simply had more high profile concerns on its hands.
The simple fact was he needed to clean himself up, and he knew that. He would work to find his girl, but he would do it as a citizen that operated within the normal bounds of the system.
He exhausted the people he knew, diving deep for information and coming back up for air only when he was keeping up appearances. He got an apartment, a shit hole but at least he had a paystub to waive in a landlord's face. He could not help but lie in its one room at night and imagine her there to share it with him. He knew she could probably never be with him the way he wanted her to be, but she could be there at least. That would be enough.
Doggedly, he searched for her. He pounded down doors, waded through drug addicts in buildings that ought to be blown sky high. He was searching for a needle in a haystack. Plenty of men watched the girls that huddled in alleyways. There were so few of them that were not working girls, they drew the eye regardless. Fewer men had long blonde hair, but that could be helped. The idiot he pounded for information by the riverbank had led to more reliable sources. The fucker that stole his baby girl had some more… identifiable features.
There were times during his search that he felt he ought to turn things over to the police. It was slow work: a friend of a friend would know a little something, but finding the next friend could take weeks. He just knew in his heart that no one would search for Bella like he did, like she was pulling him and guiding him along. He felt this impossible attachment to her still, more than infatuation or lust, but rather a tie that ran to his lost girl. A string tied to his ankle that ran under the door and he knew not what lay beyond.
He was established, he had credibility, and just yesterday he had made what he considered to be the final discovery. He knew who had taken her, and it was time to go to the people who could take him down.
Jake cleared his throat, and strode up to the desk. Despite his imposing figure, he felt daunted by how the desk lounged forbiddingly beyond the entrance. The building was humming with activity, and every uniform that darted by him made him do a little jump with his eyes. Jake had been off the street for over six months now, but he still felt like he was about to be scolded for sleeping on a public bench.
He cleared his throat again- fucking tickle, now of all times- and slapped five month's worth of digging and intimidating onto the desk. The secretary snapped to attention and scrutinized him from under a pair of stern readers. Jake felt a bead of cold sweat run down the cut of his shoulder blade.
"I'm here to see the Chief. I've got information on a missing person."
BPOV
I open my eyes, and know that I am clear. The fog that hangs over me so often has been lifted. I yawn, daring to stretch out my limbs and wiggle my toes. The ball of life that feels haphazardly attached to me balloons out. I try to lift my legs to see my toes, but my muscles grasp at the strength and miss it. I shudder to think that such a task is too much for me, but the fact remains.
I love the baby I carry. I do, I really do. I see the way that Edward seems to glare at my belly, where she nestles loved and safe. I know it worries him because when the voice plays his games, the baby takes all that she can get.
I would love to be out of here, wherever here is, and grow my baby in the sunshine. With plenty of vitamins, proper nutrition, prenatal care… everything I cannot give to her in here. I feel as though she is a she, although I suppose I will not know until I meet her. It pains me to think of all the ways I could keep her safe if I were free…
I never was free, though. I struggle to remember this, for all that was before my time here feels as a dream. I was under Charlie's watchful eye, and I moved from this to life ruled by necessity and struggle as a homeless girl. Jake watched me there. Poor Jake- but best to forget him. I do not know if I will ever leave this place, or if I will survive it. Thinking of him does not bring back comfort like it used to, but memories of hunger, chill, and the pain of losing him as a companion. As a companion. Of course, I should abandon him, as it is my nature to fail those that I love.
I am failing this little one already, I know it. I have tried very hard to be the best girl I can be for the voice, in an effort to appease him so that he will nurture me. He can care for me so that my body can care for her. But as the shell for my little pearl, I fear I have grown too bold.
There was an incident, and I yelled at the voice. Edward suffered for it. It is very bad of me to think this thought, but I am quite grateful that he was dealt the shock. I am certain it must hurt her too, and I cannot bear it.
I feel as though I am disloyal to Edward now, but this disloyalty is out of necessity. He seeks only to keep me safe- I think he would much prefer it if she did not exist.
His fingers trace my collarbone- he is stirring awake. No, he is and has been awake, I think.
I meet his eyes shyly, I feel like a little girl peaking from behind her mother's skirts. I am in the best of moods today, despite my melancholy introspection. I am clear again. Pieces of my time here remain untold, lost to the far depths of Edward's and my own memories. Our imprisonment is like dipping in and out of consciousness, a choppy narrative that I cannot fathom.
I wonder how long we have been here, I marvel at how time lost its meaning, I wonder if it shall ever gain it again.
He pecks my lips with his own, cocks his neck back and tosses me a crooked grin. We are both happy to be back with the world of the living.
His green, green eyes search mine, perhaps confirming that my mind yet live there. I shift the bulb of my weight, moving from my back to my side to face him. Unabashed in my nakedness like a ridiculous, wanton girl I feel almost silly. I rub my feet together to warm my chilly toes, and the swell of my belly curves to arc against the mattress.
"Good morning" he mouths at me, smiling through his silence.
"Hello" I smile at him, barely moving my lips. Our closeness through this time together has bloomed quicker than my quickening stomach. I am not so afraid of him anymore; he is my ally in this.
He traces the edge of my breast and I am covered in gooseflesh immediately. He crooks a smile at me and bites his lip, teasing my nipple with his finger. He is being so bad today… if the voice is watching, we will surely be punished.
Edward flashes a glance at the camera, but it does not stir. The speaker remains quiet.
He lifts me on top of him so quickly I am disorientated for longer than a moment. He is hard and ready already, eager and willing. He moves me up, and guides me quickly down onto himself in such a quick movement he takes my breath away. Edward hisses, my eyes roll back into my head. His hands find some purchase to the sides of the small of my back… where love handles ought to be, if I were not so revoltingly thin. Embarrassed, I banish the thought from my mind as a wave of pleasure rolls over me.
I throw my head back as Edward pushes me up and pulls me back down, moving me along his length with ease and vigor. He is so strong, and… oh…
He loves me slowly and sweetly, carefully moving us in tandem. Every thrust hits home and I am shivering and dripping all at once. I am so bad to enjoy this, but…
I almost cry out, but Edward feels me reach my breaking point and claps his hand over my mouth. We finish together, curled together, my belly nosing in between us.
It is then that I hear it.
A low gasping, the sound of skin slipping quickly over wet skin. He moans, oh God he moans and…
The voice is watching us, he let us do this sinful thing and he is watching, he is watching and he is touching himself.
My eyes burst open and well with tears, I am full of shame.
It is one thing entirely to be told to preform like animals, especially when drugged. But Edward and I, in our haste to snare a stolen moment to ourselves, have forgotten the essential condition of our imprisonment. He takes pleasure from this, a deep sick pleasure.
I retch before I can stop myself, unfortunately just to the side of us on the bed. Edward eases me off of himself, setting me gently as glass beside him. He wipes my mouth with his set in a pained grimace. I see it too. It is yellow bile, just the sour contents of my stomach. No chunks of digesting food… just the sad effort of an organ to continue normally.
I do not cry. Edward needs strength from me now; she needs strength from me now. I try to help him gather the soiled sheet off the bed, but I am quite unable to rise to my knees let alone my feet. He picks me up like a small child, and brings me to my own bed on my side. Lying there, I curl up as much as my body allows and watch him. The glass wall begins to slip down, and I bite back tears again, viciously, I will not cry!
Edward sleeps with his back to the wall, his back to me.
The baby does not seem to find any rest, and neither do I.