"A titan... with a... mouth too large for its head...?", Eren's voice sounded like a soft whisper. Turning to face him, my eyes caught his wide grin and glazed stare. "Titans... I'll kill them all!", he shouted, smiling.
I'd never seen this side of him personally, although once, whilst walking around headquarters, his maniacal screams caught my attention, coming from the door that lead to the dungeon.
"Jaeger, calm down.", honestly, that face reminded me of Kayla's last moments during the fateful expedition and it scared me.
"They will pay...", he gritted his teeth, inhaling sharply.
"Enough of that talk. This is why you can't control you titan form.", my voice sounded harsh and cold. Who did this kid thought he was, charging around, damning titans to hell when he couldn't even follow proper orders...?
He seemed to snap out of his trance and bitter tears formed in his eyes. Despite wanting to help him, I thought it would be best not to ask about the matter any further. Sometime after this, his watch ended and he went to his tent, while my gaze followed his steps.
"You should know by now that it's a shitty idea to discuss titans with that one.", a voice told me, coming from further up above the tree.
"Oh, captain, it's you. I thought you were out scouting.", his sudden talking had startled me. Seeing that he wasn't answering, I kept on. "Those cadets, Armin and Sasha... today they noticed that they were being watched. Did you notice anything strange?"
With these words, I didn't mean to imply that he'd made a mistake; captain was very serious about his work and he'd never slouch around, maybe the kids simply just perceptive, specially those two. Not even I noticed when the corporal had gotten near my branch on that tree.
"The fucker is hiding somewhere...", he jumped down and landed next to me, looking at the forest side. "We'll keep watching the groups until he comes out.". Inhaling the air around my body, he frowned. "You stink."
It was probably true. I hadn't had a lot of time to take a proper shower since we'd arrived there, not that it bothered me a lot. It was always like this during missions. My eyes met his, waiting for his order.
"Go shower.", he said, looking out the corner of his eye. "I will not tolerate shit smelling people in my team."
"Now? I'm in the middle of the watch."
"Go.", his word was final. "Come back when you're done."
Levi followed Martha with his eyes as she jumped to the ground and made her way through the tents, until she reached the opposite end of the clearing and disappeared amonsgt the trees. He almost shuddered at the thought of how filthy she was; luckily, she was more obedient that Shitty Glasses, that one was the absolute worst.
The corporal wondered if he should go with Martha, in case the intruder decided to start attacking the olders officers before moving on to the cadets but, since he'd found no signs of people in the nearby area, he didn't really care about it. She'd eventually return anyways.
The light brown haired lieutenant arrived by the small river, seeing the others' three horses and walked over, towards the tent set up on the opposite riverbank. Petra was sitting by its entrance, sharpening her swords.
"So, what's up?", she asked Krieger.
"The captain ordered me to shower...", she rolled her eyes, sighing in an annoyed tone. She was met it a soft chuckle for the other girl.
"Ah.. that's our captain.", Petra smiled. "You came for the soap then, right?"
"Indeed. I forgot to bring any of those things, actually.", the other passed her a blue bar. "Keep an eye out, please. I don't want to be surprised when I'm fully naked."
"Of course, don't worry."
Martha smiled at the other one and walked a bit further downstream, where the tent's subtle outline was still visible. She loosened the equipment's straps and set it near the water's edge, so she could easily access them, in case she needed. After that, the boots, the pants, the cape and the shirt where off next.
She sat by the water and submerged her swollen feet into the cold running liquid. She glided into the stream gracefully, until she was completely under water. The yellow bandage that covered her hand was removed, revealing a deep red gash partially healed. After she'd washed herself, Martha hoisted herself off the river, drying her body with the cape and getting dressed again.
When Krieger got back to the tent, Petra had already left, probably to take her place for her watch shift. Martha searched for a new bandage, since her old one was dirty and could made the wound infect. Despite leaving it to catch some air being the recommended thing to do at this point, leaving that cut open reminded her too much of what had happened.
"Oi, I told you to take a shower, not go on a fucking holiday.", the captain appeared by the tent's entrance, looking Martha up and down, annoyed.
"I came to search for a bandage for my hand, sir. I forgot to bring one with me.", she answered, still rummaging through stuff.
"They're there.", he pointed to a box on one of the corners. "Now hurry up."
A sound came from outside; someone jumping from branch to branch. Their attention was caught and, instinctively, both of them ran outside the tent, after the figure trying to escape. There it was, in the middle of the main camp, between the tents.
The corporal moved like a shadow, running after the person. It went inside one of the tents, exiting instants after and running towards the trees around the camp.
"After him!", the captain shouted, passing Petra and Eld. Martha followed him closely, zigzagging in sync with the runnaway.
"I'm going to try and get around him!", the light brown hair colored girl scream, drawing out more gass from the equipment. A memory flashed before her and she hesitated for an instant.
"Wake up, Krieger!", Levi yelled, pulling her out of her trance and she responded by launching foward, trying to cut the fugitive off.
"Don't think you're getting away from me!", she yelled, attacking the hooded figure that snaked easily through the trees. He quickly turned and locked swords with the lieutenant, the sharp metal sound echoying through the woods.
They swirled around in the air, Martha always trying to block the man's escape routes and attacking him, trying to throw off his balance. The remaining three, kept on behind them, not fully accompaning the aereal fight that was happening. Krieger's hand was starting to give in; all the rubbing of the sword's grip was opening her wound and making it sting with pain.
The freshly drawn blood dripped off the handle, sometimes flying in tiny drops that soiled nearby trees. She'd managed to injure her opponent, creating a deep gash on one of his legs.
"How about some help, captain?!", she shouted, while struggling to get closer to the man again. Occasionaly, punches and kicks were thrown as well, each using their body weight to gain the upper hand. It was dark enough that one couldn't see well enough to distinguish anything in particular but, between the trees, small moonlight beams lit up certain spots.
With a swift movement, Martha made her opponent fall back and into one of those beams, illuminating their face. A huge scar went from one side of the face to the other, dragging down to the person's neck but, more important than that... the face seemed rather familiar.
"Who are y-", before she could end the question, the person roundhouse kicked her, hitting the same spot Levi had injured her a couple of days before. The piercing pain she felt dashed up and down her body, sucking the air from her lungs. She failed to activate her 3-D gear and fell to the ground, unable to move.
The fugitive took the oportunity to escape, followed by Levi and the others. They didn't seem to have noticed Martha on the forest floor bellow, struggling to even catch a breath. She'd fallen on her elbows and knees, her nails digging into the dirt.
That face... it's so.. familiar.. Who is it? Fuck, this hurts... I can't move.., she thought, wincing at the waves of pain that radiated from her back. She looked at her hand, fist still clenching the sword handle and her eyes caught sight of the crimson liquid trickling down the palm and soiling the skin as it moved.
Her cut had opened due to the intense friction of the grip, stinging as it begged to be cleaned and wrapped in a fresh bandage. My hand... it's wounded... Kayla-, she froze, unable to look away from the deep gash. A memory began to play before her eyes.
-FLASHBACK-
"It's not worth it... we're all gonna die anyway, Martha! I'd rather die by my own sword!", Kayla screamed, her eyes shining in a wild frenzy.
-END FLASHBACK-
"No... no, Kayla... I.. I'm sorry... fuck...", Martha's tears streamed bitterly from her bloodshot eyes, directly on to the now moist ground. Her forehead rested on the wet patch of dirt, taking in a deep breath. "I probably have some cracked ribs...", even inhaling was hard.
She felt a water drop hit the base of her neck. It was starting to rain and soon all traces of the fugitive would have disappeared.
"We lost him...", Eld spat, frustrated.
"He got away right from under our noses, how can he be that good? Martha...? Martha!", screamed Petra, running towards the prostrated body. She felt cold to the touch, her clothes already half soggy from the water. "Are you okay? What happened?"
As raised Martha to meet her eyes, she noticed the bloody hand and the dirt covered slash.
"What happened? Come on, talk to me...", she pleaded. The light brown hair colored woman lifted up her gaze, revealing a swollen face full of half dried tears.
"K-Kayla...", she blabbered, unable to say anything else.
"Oy, what's the matter here?", Levi spat, his eyes scolding the girls.
"Can you get up?", Petra muttered, grabbing Martha by her arms.
"I think I have a few cracked ribs...", she answered, kneeling at first and then slowly rising to her feet.
"Come on, let's go back...", the brunette sighed. But the lieutenant's tears refused to be contained any longer. She clenched her wounded hand, refusing to take another step.
"Kayla... she... k-k-", she couldn't even finish the last word. The others stood there, trying to figure out what do to. It was the first time since she'd join the Corps that they were seeing Martha have such a reaction.
"Captain, what do we do? She can't go back like this.", Petra noted, turning to Levi with a concerned expression.
"You go ahead. I'll handle this.", he replied, gesturing for them to get going.
"Right...", they nodded, hesitantly. As soon as Petra let go of Martha, she fell on her knees, still holding her hand.
She kept mumbling words and didn't even seem to have any intention of moving anymore.
"Oy, Krieger.", he spoke quietly, staring at her trembling figure. "Let's go."
"Corporal...", she seemed to have said, but Levi wasn't sure. The rain was starting to get rather intense. All her words came out jumbled up as she struggled to say something he didn't bother to try and understand. As the twigs cracked under his boots, he walked towards the crying woman, crouching in front of her.
Heavy rain drops rolled off the thick foliage above them, the sounds of those drops hitting puddles echoying through the night. Levi placed his hand on the back of Martha's neck and, grabbing a fistfull of her wet hair and pulling it so that he could see her puffy face.
Grieving was a diferent process for everyone, specially people who dealt with death so much as them. When he'd found her during that expedition, she was very quick to regain composture for someone who'd just lost an entire squadron. Things like those happened all the time. Accidents happen, people fuck up and it all goes to shit, so Levi thought. It wasn't her fault that it had happened.
"Calm down and let's go back.", he told her. Looking into her eyes. The grey stood out even more when compared to the bright red that surrounded the iris. "It's of no use to cry. People die."
"I-if... I'd done something...", she winced again and silent tears rolled off her eyes once more. Should he hug her? Usually someone like her would feel comforted with a gesture like that but.. no, why do something so intimate with her? Just so she'd feel better? No one had done that with Levi and he'd turned out just fine. Besides, that could spark unwanted feelings, he'd seen it happen before, not that there was any danger of it happening to him, he figured.
"Enough. Stop with your pointless babbling. Move on.", he said bluntly as he started to head back. Martha, seeing him get further and further away, lunged foward using her hands, stumbling and ending up hugging a tree trunk nearby. Levi heard the loud thumping noise the impact had made and turned.
Seeing her panting and having trouble even keeping balance, his instincts kicked in and he reached for her arm, placing it over his shoulder and supporting her weight. Why couldn't she forget? Why can't you let it go, Martha..., he thought as they walked, her head hanging low.
"Captain...", she mumbled, dragging her tired feet.
"What?"
"Thanks for coming back for us...", she replied, sighing softly afterwards. What did she mean, 'thanks'? That ridiculous brat thought they'd ever leave a soldier behind? He hadn't done her any favours, Erwin had ordered their extraction and he followed through. Levi couldn't understand how she could be treating the fact that they'd gone back to help them as if it were a priviledge. The Corps had already a shortage of soldiers, they just couldn't afford to lose more.
The rest of the way back was done in absolute silence. Martha had stopped crying but only because she seemed to be half passed out. Rain kept pouring and, although the thick tree tops shielded them from some of the downpour, they were still soaking wet. When they met Eld and Petra again, Levi told them that he'd take Krieger to their second campsite, to tend to her wounds.
They agreed with a silent nod, concerned for her.
-
"Hm... are we there...?", I asked in a weak voice. Looking around, it was obvious that someone had carried me into a tent. Light came in from the outside. As I tried to sit, my back painfully protested but, after a couple of minutes, the shock wasn't so bad and I managed to sit up.
"Yes.", a voice coming from just outside the tent answered me. Captain Levi was sitting by a small fire, that had a pot with boiling water over it. A bandage was already wrapped around my wounded hand.
"Thank you, corporal... for carrying me.. I-", no words came out. There wasn't any excuse for my behaviour; a complete meltdown in front of them plus having let the suspect escape... how could that be explained?
"Eh, leave it.", he mumbled, holding a cup with the tips of his slender fingers. From where I was, the faint smell of tea coming from the cup reached my nostrils. The captain had mounted a small canopy over the tent and fire, to shield them from the heavy rain. "Here."
Levi passed Martha the warm cup, accidentaly touching her hands. They were freezing. During the days following the failed expedition, it had been hard to deal with the loss of so many good soldiers. Usually, the corporal spent the whole night cleaning to release his pent up stress but he usually heard someone on the outside, someone roaming the hallway in a rushed pace.
When Martha had first knocked on his door and offered him some tea... it had been more than what any of the others had ever done. Relieving the stress of being a squad leader and bearing the lives of companions on his shoulders.. she'd tried to help him do that. Or so he thought.
He'd seen her come back from the expedition, chatting with the kid, Lee, the whole way up until he got silent and succumbed to his wounds. He'd seen her look at the boy with tears forming in her grey eyes but swallowing them up and get a grip, facing the kids' families during the return parade.
After that, Erwin had told him the story about her and Eld's brother. This girl knew what was losing someone and, even so, she still managed to get attached to other people. What an idiot, Levi thought. He glanced at her, who was gripping the cup tightly, almost like she was soaking up the heat that came from it. She seemed more calm, sipping the tea slowly.
"Captain..", she murmured, looking at him out the corner of her eye. "I noticed something weird when we were chasing the intruder."
"Hm.", he inquired, not bothering to look at Martha. The rain felt heavily, blocking out some sound that came from her mouth.
"I think I know the person.", her voice souded like a whisper.
"Speak up, Krieger, I can't hear you properly.", as Levi said this, she scooted over a bit closer, and he felt the warmth radiating from her body.
"I think I know the person.", she repeated. This time, the words rolled from her lips in a soft melody almost, catching the corporal's attention.
"What? From where?"
"I don't remember very well... I know it's not someone from the Corps but, sometime during my life, I must have seen her. Her face is familiar."
"Her? It's a woman?"
"I believe so. What was she after anyways?"
"We don't know. She didn't steal anything."
"Nothing?... now that's weird... Anyways.. I'm sorry I made you carry me, I was covered in mud.", she apologized.
"You're part of the squad. Now, get some rest. Tomorrow we're going to decide what to do with those shitty brats."
"Has Erwin mentioned when the next expedition will be?", she asked, ignoring the previous order.
"In a few months.", he replied and Martha let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank god for that... they seem younger each time.. I know we swore to give our lives for humanity but... how do you do it, captain? How do you deal with the pressure of seeing these kids d..d..-"
"You know how. I'm going for a walk to check in on the others. This conversation is over.", he got up and disappeared into the trees, leaving Martha alone.
-FLASHBACK-
"Ray", I called her, leaning over the kitchen table.
"What?", a voice replied, coming from the bathroom.
"Where are you from?"
"Does that matter?"
"I'm just asking, don't get so defensive..", my nostrils flared up.
"The place where I used to live wasn't very nice, I'd rather not talk about it.", Ray stated, coming out rolled up in a towel.
"Suit yourself...", I shrugged. "Where did you learn how to fight like that, though? They don't teach that stuff in the Trainee Corps."
"My old man taught me. He was awesome at this."
"Your dad? How was he?"
"He wasn't my dad, Martha. I never knew my parents. Feng just adopted me when I was... hm, about 5 or so. He was cool. Now, enough of this, I need your final answer: are you in for the last competition?"
"Nah..", the cocky smile on her lips partially drooped. Ever since my first time going down Wall Maria and trying to top 10 seconds, I'd avoided repeating the experience. Even when we were just keeping an eye out for people who might take it too far and get hurt, I never got bellow a certain height again. "I think you should end this, Ray. Someone might get seriously hurt."
"That's not my problem. I just run bets.", she shrugged.
"You're a real bitch sometimes.."
"Hey, survival of the fittest." she chuckled. "So, you're still doing the extra shifts?"
"I have to.. After all, I need to pay for the house now."
"And I thank you for that. Sounds unbelievable that your dad kicked you out for such a stupid reason... 'You defile the great Wall..', pfff, for reals..."
"At least my mom still lets me go there when none of the religious freaks are home... She's been asking for help to pay for things. I'm also doing double shifts because of that.", I added.
"You'd make twice as much in bets, let me tell you. That guy, Mathias, fucking hell, he wins all that shit.", she seemed baffled at Mat's skill.
"So I've heard. He'll kill himself if he keeps going like this... I have a favour to ask you, Ray."
"Hm, I'm listening."
"Teach me how to fight like you do. It's just so freaking cool."
"Well... I could teach you... but only if you agree to competing next week."
"Hmph...", a heavy huff escaped my lips. "Fine."
-FLASHBACK-
Levi got back to the tent about an hour later. He'd checked that cadets remained sleeping undisturbed and that, in fact, nothing had been stolen. Martha was thrashing about in her sleep, turning and wailing quietly, probably due to some nightmare.
The afternoon of the expedition, when they'd separated the squads to establish a visibility network, her squad had taken the canyon area. It was supposed to be an easy location, since her subordinates had only been in the Corps for 2 years. Everything was going fine on Levi's side until he saw the red flare soaring above the gorge.
Under Erwin's orders, he was sent to check on them. Eliminating the titans that had swarmed the inside of the rocky walls hadn't been very easy, even with him being on top of the canyon. Once they were all dead, he noticed a small opening in the face of one the walls, where one of the titans had it's hand apparently stuck.
Inside, he found Martha covered in blood on her clothes and hands, looking desperately at O'Connor's pale body, while her hands tried to cover a gushing wound on the girl's neck. On an opposite corner laid Lee, agaisnt the wall, passed out. There weren't any signs of the other two.
When she noticed him, she immediately stood up, in salute, looking with a serious expression at Levi.
"We need to hurry, Lee is in a very bad shape."
"What about the others?", the corporal inquired, looking around for evidence.
"Marla and Jack were... caught.", Levi could see the tears forming over her eyes and how much she was fighting them. "Kayla.. she-"
"Let's go then, the others will be here soon", he interrupted her. What the fuck had happened there anyways?... he noticed a deep gash on Martha's palm when she picked up the dead girl. He took Lee and they left.
"What happened to Martha's squad, captain?", Petra had asked.
"I don't know. They got cornered by titans in the canyon.", he'd simply answered.
Looking at the lieutenant now, her brow furrowed and an expression of suffering on her face while she slept, he couldn't help but feel some sort of empathy towards her. Muscles of her face tensed up as she gritted her teeth and mumbled a couple of incomprehendable words. He leaned closer to Martha's sleeping figure and fixed a lock of disheveled hair, tucking it behind her ear.
She was warm now, sweating even, tiny droplets of sweats glistened under the fire light. He almost let his hand linger next to her, feeling the heat rising from the exposed skin of her neck and face.
"You're safe now, Martha...", he whispered, looking at her. She seemed to calm down a bit, turning away from him as hear breathing softened. Seeing her like that made Levi sigh with relief for an instant.
What's happening to me... this can't be. She's just another soldier, nothing more, he scolded himself and, tearing himself away from her proximity and sitting outside again. Just because she's showed kindness, didn't made her any different from the lot of those brats. He knew better than to form close bonds with people. He didn't want another Farlan nor Isabel.