AN: Hello friends. Sit down, buckle up. Cheers.

EPOV

I won't lie and say that the officers' firm grip doesn't scare the shit out of me. He's built big, with a squared off bulldog jaw and the sort of stance that makes you think he's about to move quickly- and with purpose. I have a couple inches on him still, which I can't help but feel a little smug about. I know how important it is that I come off mentally healthy and well adjusted in this meeting, so I swallow my alarm and give him my patented grin.

He frowns. "Officer Gold." His name comes out like a bark. I don't like this guy.

The man accompanying him is much less threatening. He is a cozy 5'9" or so, with a spare tire and a lick of sweat glistening in front of his ears. "Detective Mercer, how'yadoin." His palm is fleshy and warms mine.

"Edward Cullen, I'm doing just fine. Listen gentlemen, thank you both so much for taking the time to meet with me tod-"

"Save it," the big thug growls. "Sit on down." I had risen from my offensive metal chair to greet them when they came in, and I straighten my pants, hands on my thighs as I sit squarely back down. That's how this shit is going to go. Let's dance, big guy.

I pull my shirt sleeves up, baring my thick forearms, putting them on the cool metal table with my hands clasped. "I'm happy to cooperate, officers,-"

"Detective."

"Yes, Detective, and Officer." I grin. I can hear Jenks coughing lightly, politely, beside me. Simmer down, Edward, this is not the interaction we're going for here.

"So, Mr. Cullen," Mercer clears his throat. He is hot but he is confident, there is no tremor in that voice. "We've brought you in here to nail down a few details. I'm sure that you know by now that our target is still at large, along with his associates."

I nod slowly. That has been the hardest part about being away from her. Carlisle thinks she is under heavy guard for sure, but that is hardly a balm to the sharp, itching anxiety I feel about her safety. But she must believe I failed to protect her… I can only see this as the reason she has not asked for me yet. I will have to petition for my parental rights to this baby, if that's what it takes. Perhaps she believes she would come more easily away from this experience without me as a reminder.

But that just cannot be fucking true. Someone was hurting her before I met her. Doesn't her return to the outside world mean that person has access to her again? That's the worst thing. I tried telling Alice, tried telling Carlisle, but they wouldn't fucking listen to me. Whoever was hurting her before could be keeping her from contacting me. Carlisle, perfect and calm as he always is, said that the police would be smart enough to speak to her alone if that was what it took. I'm just at this crazy mental crossroads where all I want is my girl again, but I wonder if I should be moving on without her.

We spent so long together though, so long in that nightmare. Longer than I spent with anyone. Every morning I wake up without her, it's a horrible shock to my system.

"We're not sure exactly how he was tipped off to our raid, but the most important thing now is making sure we're after the right guy. See, we were able to plan the raid because of a young man who was concerned with one of the victim's disappearance. He found a lot of information for us that connected missing persons cases that have gone unsolved for years."

This piques my curiosity. I know now that it wasn't just me and the girls that I knew. That sick fuck had a whole warehouse… but who is this guy?

"Who was he looking for?"

"I'm sorry, that information does not pertain directly to your timeline here, Edward." Mercer says this gently but firmly. Another brick wall. Every time I turn around, these guys throw another one up.

"We have a few photos here for you to look at, before we talk timeline. This binder," he brandishes it, studying my face, "is full of mug shots of a few guys we think match the description of our guy. We are confident as to who we're after here, but we need to see if any of these people catch your eye. I trust you've remained isolated from the media as we requested?"

I nod, running my hand through my hair, disturbing it from the neat style I had tried to pull off. I need to get it cut as soon as possible, but for now it hangs as long as ever, if much more clean. Taking the binder, I pause before opening it. "So there's a photo of him in here?"

"Yes, mixed in with others matching that description. I have also included photos of possible associates, as well as unrelated individuals."

I open it, and no one immediately jumps out at me. Flipping through, guy after guy staring at me. There are some women in here too… all sorts of races, hair colors, ages, whatever. A few minutes into considering the photos and I just feel like I'm wasting everyone's time.

"Listen," I sigh as I fold back another page, "I never saw anyone who helped him, and I never saw that sick pervert… we were drugged so much of the time, and they did things while we were unconscious." I lift my hands from the pages, sitting back and fucking with my hair again. The chair squeals on the linoleum as I push it back with my heels, extending my legs.

"Mr. Cullen, I know this is frustrating, but any sort of identification we can get from you will be invaluable when it comes to trial. We will get this guy," Mercer's small eyes study mine. He's so fixated on me, I feel suddenly uncomfortable. My eyes flick to Gold's, whose are narrowed in what looks like suspicion. I capitulate.

Sitting back up, I'm ready to dive back in again when it feels like my blood stops running through my veins. Time stops. Holy. Fucking…

I lurch up, staggering away from the table, alarming Gold, who springs to his feet like a fucking attack dog. I don't make it to the door, vomiting through my hand. I heave again, trying to catch my breath. My eyes water and I try not to start crying. Where is my fucking girl when I need her…

"Cullen?" Gold sounds pained. He sees me as a goddamn victim now, I know it. Mercer is at my side, offering me a handkerchief. Of course. He opens the door slightly, asking the guard outside for the janitor to come by and for a new room. His quiet, calm tone only turns my stomach again. Edward Cullen, the victim. Fuck.

I am ready to run for the bathroom when Mercer turns to collect the binder. I gather myself quickly and shove past him, slapping my disgusting hand down, pointer finger so sharp it hurts me. "That fucker. That's your guy."

"Alright, Edward," Mercer sighs. "Let's talk timeline. I know that's been on your mind."

I nod, not meeting his eye. I'm still very frustrated about how I lost control of this situation. When Jenks tried to comfort me I almost fucking lost it.

"Your abduction and rescue were 1080 days apart. That's about 2 years and 11 months we have unaccounted for. By tying together the information we have with what you can tell us of your experience, we can figure out exactly what happened in the warehouse. Okay? This is the approach we have been taking with the other survivors."

I hate that word, survivors. Call me a victim, that's what I am to you. I only nod.

"So Edward, who was your first counterpart in the apartment?"

"Room, it was just a room."

"Yes, room."

"Her name was Victoria."

"We have a Victoria Sutherland, abducted about 13 months before you." Gold opens one of the folders on the desk, sliding a foreign photo to me. The woman in the photo smiling ear to fucking ear. I don't recognize her, until I do…

"Her nose was broken when I met her." I say it softly, almost to myself, caught up in the remembering. "Her arm too…"

I feel like I'm looking into an animal's pen. I think that I am, in some way.

She stands, and the sight of her all at once makes me weak in the knees in the worst way.

Her arm hangs just so, at a slightly… wrong angle from her body. She is very slender, but her figure is undiminished by the way her bones seem to curve out of her skin. Her hair is honestly the color of dried blood and it's so curly it has a life of its own. Her eyes, green and piercing, burn into mine although I cannot yet meet them.

Her skin is covered in black and blue… bruises in the strangest… handprints, I think. There are wounds on her stomach, on her breastbone… some open and weeping, others healing, some weeks old. Her nose is crooked though I do not think it's some charming feature. She has had untreated broken bones, here. And I understand.

I am not leaving anytime soon. And whoever was here before me did this.

A tear rolls down my cheek, and I turn the photo over. "I- I'm sorry, I can't look at that."

"What happened to her, Edward? I'm really sorry, but based on the other survivor testimony, you are the only living counterpart who mentioned her. We did not recover her from the warehouse." Mercer is boring two holes in the top of my head.

"No, you wouldn't have," I shake my head. "She died a long time ago."

I can't stand to look over at her room, but I forget sometimes and my eyes stray. I see that mass of red, red hair that looks so dull now. It looks like clotted fucking blood. She lies, so still and prone, in her clotted blood and her clotted fucking blood fucking hair.

"How did she die, Edward?"

"I killed her."

"Why?"

"The voice." I have to chuckle. Listen to me, schizo on trial for murder. I am crying in earnest now, the table is wet and smeared with my own shame. I have to continue. "He told me to kill her because she was trying to kill the baby."

I look up at Mercer, whose pallor has gone quite grey. Gold is meeting my eyes with an intensity, but I see that he knows me for what I am now. Killer. But unwilling killer. "The… what the fuck did you call it? Counterpart. Her counterpart before me raped her constantly. The voice got rid of him though, because he turned out to be impotent. I don't know how long she was with him… I guess all of those months before me."

My hands are shaking, and it's a real struggle to keep my voice even. It keeps breaking. "She taught me how to survive. How to listen to him and do what he said. But she couldn't do it; she couldn't just do what he said. That's why she died."

"Edward, I'm really sorry to put you through this, but we need to clarify many of the details of this case. Did you see what happened to her body?"

"No. When I woke up it was gone. It took a long time for him to take her though. She… she started to smell." I try not to gag.

"Edward, when we raided the warehouse, we found a surveillance room that looks to be where your abuser spent most of his time. He had a personal area there…" Mercer trails off, glancing at Gold as if he is unsure how much detail to give me. "It appears that he kept a horde of… of personal treasures. Much of what we recovered was human bone."

I honestly don't know how I make it through him saying that shit to me.

"We will be using that bone to identify the individuals who did not survive the warehouse. I just need your cooperation to help connect all of the missing pieces. That is why it is imperative that you are honest with us. We have no other human remains besides these, as it seems they were destroyed in an industrial incinerator on site."

I nod. All of this makes sense. "He said that shit to me once," I growl, looking Mercer dead in the eye. How can this normal guy, this forgettable, clean-cut American be discussing my nightmare with me? I have to tell him what I say next, it's like a disgusting urge. "He said… he whispered, over the speaker," I gesture upwards, to the corner of the room, as if it is here. "He said that I should be grateful to have such pretty little things to play with. He said that he hoped I enjoyed the feel of their bones as much as he would when they were dead."

"What did he mean, Edward, about enjoying feeling their bones? Were you exposed to the bodies for long periods of time, or the bones?"

"No…" I clear my throat again. I can't get any words out. "He starved them. He meant… he meant when I was touching them…" I look up, suddenly furious. "When he made me fuck them, alright? When he had me fuck them for him. He hoped I felt their bones."

Mercer nods, refusing to take my bait. "That fits with the condition that we found many of the girls in, and the compromised strength of many of the bones. Now, Edward, who came after Victoria?"

"Carmen, and then Leah. I think Leah gave me a fake name, though."

Mercer shakes his head, "Edward, we have a Leah Clearwater. He produces two photos that I only look at long enough to identify. I nod curtly, turning them over with a gentle reverence. "Carmen DeCanio. Abducted six months after Victoria. Leah was abducted three months later."

"Yeah, that sounds right." I had not spent long with either, about as long as I spent with Tanya. "I didn't kill either of them. Carmen… she had a heart thing, or something. He would shock us with these fucking collars…" I look at them, realizing they both must know what I'm talking about already. "Anyway, once, she was screaming at him to let her out. She had just missed a period, and I think she was pregnant."

I look at them again to gauge their reaction. Gold is still sitting there, just staring at me as intent as you please. Mercer is waiting patiently. "Anyway, it killed her. She died. They could never handle it, when they figured out they were pregnant. Except…"

I stop, and something in my demeanor tells Mercer to move on and return to that 'except'. Fine with me.

"Leah was taken from my room. I don't know what happened to her."

"She was taken to another apartment."

I say silent, unsure of what he wants from me. Then I realize. "Do you want me to ask if you found her alive?"

"Do you want to know?" I'm surprised by this snippy answer from this man. He is so ordinary and still so surprising.

"No. Sorry. Leah hated me. She used to try and beat the shit out of me. I don't think she would want me to know."

"She doesn't." Mercer smiles at me. Subtle, little guy.

I smile grimly back. By using the present tense, he's given me just enough information to maintain her privacy. That's the fucking catch of this whole situation, isn't it? All of us survivors… kept from one another. Privacy. Makes so much sense.

"Okay, Edward. That's six months with Victoria, then 3 with Carmen, and then there was Leah. Who else can you account for?"

"There is one… I never learned her name."

"Were you kept together long?"

"Yes."

"Why did you never learn who she was, Edward?"

"The voice had me cut her tongue out. She wouldn't stop screaming."

This fourth girl, this girl number four of mine, she is driving me absolutely… absolutely mad. I cannot hear myself think.

She glares at me with her watery brown eyes. She will not allow me to whisper to her, but I gave up all hope of avoiding the voice's attention when it came to her. I tried screaming back at her, but the shocks silenced me.

"He was always listening, you know… when I was new, Victoria whispered to me and taught me how to survive. But she… you couldn't get close!" I'm exasperated, pleading with my eyes as I look back and forth between them. What I see reassures me: only patience, finally, no accusation. Above all… a sadness. I wonder if they are each imagining their sisters, daughters. An unnamed screaming girl.

"I couldn't explain to her his rules." I remember screaming at her, wordlessly, exasperated. I remember how she screamed right back, her spit flying at my face, her throat angry cherry red glaring at me.

Mercer has fanned out eight photos. "You're the last male survivor we have to speak to, Edward. These are the remaining unidentified women that fit the time frame of unsolved abductions."

I see her, watery brown puppy dog eyes and all. Unlike all of the pictures they have shown me so far, she is unsmiling. Her thin lips are arcing down in a timid frown; her eyes almost don't meet the camera. "That's her, there."

I don't turn her photo over. Mercer collects the others, and she remains there, staring up at me with that furtive, pathetic look.

"Bree Tanner, Edward. Abducted three months after Leah."

I nod. Remembering this girl, her extreme noise and extreme, endless, forever silence following.

"What happened to Bree?"

I stand abruptly, shoving my chair backwards as my legs unfold. "I'm done for today."

Jenks clears his throat and snaps to, standing up beside me. "Thank you for your time gentleman, and we do hope this helps you."

Mercer doesn't look up to follow us with his eyes as we walk towards the door. But he stops me when he says, "Please, Edward. You owe her family that much."

I round on him. I grab the back of his chair, yanking it backwards, snarling down close into his ear before Gold can restrain me. "Do you think I owe anyone a single FUCKING thing?"

The fat fuck doesn't even look up at me. He waits patiently, and Gold has me braced, fuming, against the opposite wall.

Jenks is in my ear. "Edward, this kind of erratic behavior is not helping. If you want to go, we can go. But I think I know what you really want to do, here, for that girl and her family."

I shake free of Gold, prowling back to my chair, sitting heavily down once more. All of the fight has fled me, it seems. And we haven't even got to either of my angels… My golden girl, and the girl I saved.

"He had me cut her throat. That's all I would like to say. Her parents don't need to know what happened to her after her death. I hope that… I hope some of the remains you find are hers, so they can have something to bury."

I swallow thickly, too emotionally exhausted from today to cry any more. I can't cry again over that poor girl. I can't get mad at anyone anymore. Reliving each of these girls, each of my failures… it's too much. I just want to hold her one last time, I want to hold Bella. I want to feel that little butterfly in her belly. I want to watch her toes wiggle in her sleep. I want her blush to heat up her face…

All I can see in my mind's eye is that red smile across… across Bree's throat. A red grin from ear to ear.

"Then, uh… after Bree, there was Tanya. You put her picture out a minute ago."

Mercer pulls her from the stack. "Tanya Denali. Abducted only a month after Bree."

"She killed herself. I, uh… we were in love, actually. I loved her." I don't know why I tell them this, but it feels right. Someone needs to know. Otherwise, with her dead… it feels like we never happened. Like we never existed together. My sweet, my summer girl. Her skin was still sunny when she died…

Her hair is gold, spun cold, waves and it spills over my lap. Her eyes are the happiest blue…

She was a sunny girl. She was beautiful, and she is hard to think about the way that the sun is hard to stare at. She was too bright for that hell.

Her skin still glows with fading kisses from the sun of the outside world when I find her. She lays with her arms neatly folded over her ribcage; she looks so peaceful, my sunshine angel. Her hair, like a mane like water it flows down, down over her shoulders.

From beneath her clasped arms, streams of blood that are even still drying. They run little rivers over her cooling skin, her skin that will never again warm me. Her skin that still smelled like summer when she first came her, not so long ago…

Her hair was gold, spun cold. Her hair… I wonder how I can love Bella with an even greater depth of intensity. How I can give my soul over to her, when I had it destroyed by that angel. Bella is the opposite in so many ways… I think I loved each girl, in her own right. I loved them all and I tried to keep every single one alive. Every last one. And I fulfilled my promise to only the last one. And now, she cannot be bothered to ask after me. She wishes to move on from this nightmare, leaving me behind with these blood-stained hands.

"Bella was the last one. You'll find her in there under Isabella. She prefers Bella though, just Bella." I look up, and it is Gold's steely grey eyes that I catch.

"And if someone doesn't put me in contact with her immediately, I'm going to blow my fucking brains out and take the rest of my information with me."

AN: I know, I know. Wild ride! Also my longest chapter ever. Y'all must know by now though that few of these chapters are continuous wholes to be taken literally as a "chapter". Sorry. Thank y'all so much, those of you who have reviewed/PM'd especially, but also for the follows and favorites. These things keep me going. The plot is drawing together, we are leaving the prologue era (Chapters 1-12). See y'all asap.