Just a reminder, the words used in this chapter submitted by the readers are- HOBO, SAMMICH & CAT.

Please READ and REVIEW!

I do not own PJO, for I own a tomato.

It's so poetic, don't you think? I got my skills from my dad (Apollo).

The Adventure of a Lovesick Idiot: Total Cupcake Domination

Despite the fact that his precious ship was been taken apart by flaming cannon balls and a giant crab, Leo was curled up in a ball in front of the television. He wanted to apologise, desperately but he couldn't communicate with Calypso until she switched the TV on her side on.

He'd do almost anything for her to forgive him. All Leo wanted was for the love of his life to talk to him again. 'Did I just call Calypso the love of my life?" Leo asked himself. 'I'M TURNING ALL SAPPY LIKE PERCY! NO!'

Frank cautiously stepped into the control room and turned to face the cowardly Supreme Commander.

"In case you didn't notice, our ship is under attack and you're just sitting there like a hobo," Frank said as he prodded Leo's arm. "Hello?"

Leo slowly raised his head to look Frank in the eye. "You think I don't know that?" The tone was soft but dangerous.

"Do you want this quest to fail?"

It was a fairly simple question. Yes or no, but Leo had trouble answering.

Thankfully, in the middle of an awkward moment, the TV flickered to life.

"CALYPSO! I'm so sorry, I'll never ask you that again. Please forgi-" Leo started.

"I don't want your stupid apology, Leo." Calypso was clearly feeling quite rude and even cut off Leo from his dramatic apology.

"What were you going to say? Hm?" Calypso had her arms folded across her chest. "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I'll do anything you want?!" she imitated with a high-pitched voice.

Calypso straightened her posture and said in a dignified manner, "I just called to let you know that I've moved on. I've gotten over you." She was cradling a cat in a very tender and loving position.

"I found this poor little kitten washed up on the beach and somehow, it didn't crash land on it or destroy it!" With every syllable she spoke, her voice got higher and squeakier until she could barely manage anything at all.

"I have named this poor defenceless animal Percy!" Calypso raised Percy high into the air with both hands like in The Lion King.

"Are you sure it's a he?" Frank asked awkwardly. He really didn't want to be in the firing lines of an arguing couple but the cat really did look like a she.

Calypso hesitated. "Just wait a minute."

She turned the kitten over and scrutinised it.

"I don't care if it's a girl and that's that! I love Percy more than you!"

And with that, the connection between the two of them was broken… Again.

"Does that mean you're helping us fight?" Frank asked hopefully.

Leo glared at him coldly and stormed out to join the battle.

Lots of kids wanted to be in exciting action movies but Leo seriously didn't understand what was so great about life-threatening situations.

Leo was working on the cannons and when they ran into a little hitch. They were out of bronze cannon balls. He was going to have to make his own ammo.

He ran to the Dining Hall and got out an enchanted plate. He was hungry and in the mood for a sammich but Leo resisted the temptation.

"Gluten-free, no-sugar-added, vitamin-enriched, soy-free, goat-milk-and-seaweed-based cupcake simulations, please."

A dozen of the most disgusting cupcakes in the world appeared. Leo reached for another plate and asked for the "cupcakes" again.

In no time at all, Leo was barely managing to carry two heaping plates from the dining hall to the cannons. 'I am a genius,' Leo thought. 'No one else had ever thought of using cupcakes as ammo before, right? I am so original and awesome and epic and sexy… Any girl would be lucky to have someone like me.'

Leo fired the cannon and watched carefully to see what kind of damage it caused. A Cyclops lunged forward and swallowed it whole expecting it to be delicious. Obviously, the "cupcake" didn't live up to its expectations. The Cyclops swung his arms around and knocked out two other Cyclops and a centaur.

If one cupcake could take out four monsters, think of the damage that 24 could do!

BRING ON THE FLAMES, COS UNCLE LEO'S HERE!

Thanks for reading and review to tell me how you feel about my story.