Originally requested by 100years-to-live for a cuddling list ("The hayffie chocolate box") on Tumblr: *peeks into the hayffie chocolate box and sees so much she loves* I'm going to pick one for the start, okay? :) 31. Constant interruption please

High and Dry

Effie had barely even closed the front door before she was in his arms. The coat of pink lipstick that she'd put on against better judgment smeared out on both their faces as they kissed, feverishly and unable to keep their hands off each other.

"You're late," Haymitch growled.

"I am not," Effie said, out of breath. She shouldered out of her coat and let Haymitch threw it over her bag. He pulled her gloves off and flung them aside too. "You were supposed to pick me up."

"You know the way. Walked it a million times already."

"Still not an excuse to forget your manne…"

She gasped when he spun her around and pressed her up against the wall. Their lips crashed together. His large hands were at her chest, undoing the buttons and Effie buried her fingers in his dirty blonde hair when he took a nipple in his mouth, leaving it hard and wet.

"You got them?" she panted.

"Got what?" he asked, voice muffled as he kissed and licked his way up her throat.

"What do you think?" His stubble scratched her with each peck and she groaned. "You bought some, didn't you? Didn't you, Haymitch? Haymitch, you're going to make me cry!"

"I'll pull out, it's fine," he said breathlessly, about to kiss her on the lips again.

But before his mouth could touch hers, Effie's hand was on his chest, keeping him well out of kissing distance.

"Really, Haymitch?" she said, annoyance written all over her flustered face. "As flattered as I am with you being so willing to risk me having your lovechild we are not riding bareback just because you are too awkward to buy a condom."

"When did I say I'd buy rubbers?" Haymitch asked and threw his hands in the air. "Capitol's got freakin' drive-thrus for that."

"Yesterday. I asked you if there was any chance you could buy it this time and you said, and I'm quoting, you said, 'Yeah, whatever.'"

"Shouldn't ask me things when I'm drunk, sweetheart."

"Well, you are always drunk," Effie said and crossed her arms over her chest. "And if you want to get anywhere with me today you will get all the necessary protection first."

Haymitch sighed. She was right of course. He glanced out the window where the rain tapped against the glass.

"Can you at least give me a hand job before I go?"

Effie arched an eyebrow.

"If there is anyone here who deserves a tickle it's me. Now, you better hurry or else this," she made a gesture to her bare breasts and downward, "might be closed for business when you get back."

xXx

It wasn't that Haymitch was too awkward to buy condoms. Not really. Besides, the alternative would be to ask the kids if they had any and there was no way in hell he'd do that. Forget Katniss not being able to stomach it, he wasn't keen on finding out whether or not those kids had taken that step yet.

The rain got worse as he reached the square. November was a miserable month anywhere and here most of all. It was still barely lunchtime but with the dark clouds overhead you'd think it noon already. Hopefully the sun would've fought through til the Harvest Festival though.

Fifteen minutes later with a package of condoms in his back pocket and his clothes clinking to him with rain he stepped back into the hallway.

Effie was going about in the kitchen, opening cabinets and it was all it took to make him hard again. Pathetic really. He pulled his wet shirt and undershirt over his head and tossed them in a heap on the floor together with his stinky socks.

"Alright, got the wetsuit," he said as he walked into the kitchen. "You happ…"

And he stopped short.

Because Effie wasn't alone.

"Hey boy," Greasy Sae said, just lifting a pot from the stove.

"We're having tomato soup," Effie beamed, setting three bowls on the table. "Mrs. Sae was so kind to bring it."

The old woman looked down Haymitch's naked chest in amusement and Haymitch grabbed an undershirt from the back of a chair and put it on with a scowl on his face; all the while conjuring up an image of a naked Plutarch Heavensbee. The single best way to make his hard on go away.

"Shouldn't you be back with Nella and the rest of the litter?"

"Haymitch, that's really rude!" Effie gasped but Greasy Sae just smiled and set the pot of soup on the table.

Haymitch liked Sae. Had always liked her. But now when she sat there right between him and Effie all he wished was for her to go fly a kite.

And Effie wasn't helping. She was all smiles and talked with the old woman and so much she almost forgot the soup. She was very fond of Sae just like most people here and the two of them interacted a lot more smoothly than you might think despite being from so vastly different worlds. After the war Sae had helped a lot to make Effie feel less like an outsider who didn't belong here. It was just her way and aside from Katniss and Peeta and perhaps Haymitch himself Sae had contributed the most to make Effie's stays in Twelve easier than they could have been, with her history.

"How is your family?" Effie asked.

After the war the government had promised that all of those who had lost their homes would get new houses and many parts of the districts got modernized and upscaled. While District 12 was being rebuilt the citizens could choose to stay either in Thirteen or the Victor's Village.

When Haymitch returned with Katniss half of the houses had had lights in them. But one after another all the families had eventually moved out. Save one.

Sae's three sons had all passed but she and her two daughter-in-laws ruled over the house and all of her many grandchildren just a few doors down from Haymitch. Nella loved it here, getting to paint with Peeta almost every day, so that was a big reason and all the other children led an eventful play life around the Victor's Village and at the Mellark-Everdeen's they got to come and go as they pleased.

This way the Victor's Village was a lot livelier than it had ever been and as for Haymitch he didn't get to keep to himself as much anymore. His old babysitter always found a way to ferret him out. They were alike that way, Sae and Effie. But as annoying as it was, he didn't really mind her company. After his victory he'd pushed Sae out of his life just like he had everyone else, in order to keep her safe from Snow. But that didn't change the fact that for years she'd been the closest he had to family.

Haymitch scraped up the last of his soup and it was time for Sae to head home. With the empty pot in hand she bid both of them a happy Harvest Festival and disappeared out in the rain.

Effie started on the dishes while Haymitch dried the bowls and glasses for her.

At least, that's what Effie had put him to do.

"What are you up to back there?" she mused when Haymitch sneaked his arms around her waist. He brushed her hair back and kissed her neck. While he began to unbutton her dress for the second time, he silently thanked the designer, whoever it was, for making these "post-war dresses" Effie sported these days. Back when they were fucking during the Games, when he'd figured out how to get her out of one outfit it was already last season.

He slipped his still cold hand inside her dress, hearing her gasp when he cupped her breast. He loved how he could make her react like this. He caressed her and let his other hand travel south, in between her legs. He nudged the loose fabric over her shoulder with his nose and kissed the skin as it got exposed.

"Mm," Effie bit her lip, locked in his embrace and he felt her grinding herself against the bulge in his pants. He buried his face in her hair and he couldn't hold back his own moans. His hand slipped inside her silk stockings, her panties, let the tip of his finger in between her folds.

"Haymitch!" she called out and slammed her soapy hand against the edge of the sink. "Now, Haymitch!"

She wouldn't have to tell him twice. He tore at his belt until the pants fell in a heap on the floor, he bunched her dress up with her help.

When something slammed into the window behind them.

Effie jumped with a cry and Haymitch whipped his head around so fast it was a miracle his neck didn't snap.

"What was that?" Effie called out but Haymitch had already pulled his pants up and was by to the window, forcing it up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" a child's voice called from outside.

"Already told you, Pose!" Haymitch said. "You're not playin' football in the Village!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Haymitch!" Posy said with round eyes and the football pressed to her chest. Two of Greasy Sae's grandboys stood next to her, with mud stains up to the forehead.

While Haymitch quarreled with the children Effie quickly escaped to the privacy of the bathroom where she could get her clothes and hair back in order.

"Place's too damn crowded," Haymitch growled when he joined her. "Kid already smashed a window for me."

Effie couldn't keep from smiling, despite herself. She linked her arms around Haymitch's neck and pecked his lips.

"Well, I am glad you have company these days. The thought of you all alone in the Victor's Village completely upset my digestion."

Haymitch snorted.

"I don't have any so called free time left."

Effie brushed another kiss to his lips. She kissed his scowl away, one peck at the time.

"Do you want to take a shower?" she asked and reached for his hand, kissing his fingertips. "These are still awfully cold."

They kissed and Effie pulled the undershirt over his head, running her hand against his ass.

But outside, Posy and the other kids soon went back to their games and their shouts and shrieks and laughter were so loud and close it was clear Haymitch got disturbed. Finally he broke the kiss.

"Can't even fuck in my own house anymore," he said and disappeared back in the kitchen to finish the dishes. "Damn," was the last thing she heard.

Poor Haymitch.

Effie hung up her coat and folded the gloves neatly before carrying her bag upstairs to his room.

He'd made the effort to change the sheets she noted. One of his shirts lay thrown at the foot of the bed and she picked it up. Technically it was dirty laundry but that didn't stop her from holding it against her nose, inhaling his scent. All these years and it still never failed to make her knees weaken.

She was about to go put it in the laundry basket but hesitated. She glanced at the door and then quickly placed the shirt at the bottom of her bag before she started unpacking.

It didn't take long. On her first few visits here after the war she had brought bags of clothes and beauty products and other things she needed back and forth but nowadays most of those things were here already. It was more practical that way even though Haymitch enjoyed to complain about it, saying her shit was all over the house.

She heard his footsteps now and soon the door opened on wailing hinges. Effie smiled at his reflection in the window.

"Back so soon?" she mused. "I thought…" but before she could say another word Haymitch swung her up in his arms.

"How knightly," she said with a glint in her eyes when he put her on the bed, climbing in with her.

"Hey, Effs," he said, laying himself on top of her. "Don't think I didn't notice you stole my shirt."

Effie pouted.

"What's one shirt?" she said. "You have plenty of others."

"Stealing's very bad manners, sweetheart. What will the kids say?"

Effie's eyebrows creased together.

"Well, you stole from me first," she said. "That photograph of me when we were in District 4. Remember? My my, what do you use that for I wonder?"

"I jerk off to it. What else?"

"My goodness, Haymitch! Rhetorical!"

He only gave her a devilish grin and Effie tsked before she pulled him down to her, closing the gap between them.

The package of condoms was still in his back pocket and she got it out and dropped it on the bed for him later. He didn't trust her with those nails. She pulled his undershirt over his head for the second time and let her hands wander up and down his body, feeling all that soft skin.

He was beautiful. He wasn't as lean and muscular as he'd once been. All that drinking had started to make him paunchy but what did it matter? He was her Haymitch and she knew his body almost as well as her own.

They kissed and touched and got each other out of their clothes until they lay naked and completely exposed in each other's arms.

"I miss you, Haymitch," she said, looking into his Seam eyes, their faces so near he could make out all the freckles across her nose. "I miss you so much. Every day."

"I know. Me too."

It was so seldom he got to be with her. He knew she had a life in the Capitol, friends she still cared about and her job teaching her girls at the Academy. He couldn't ask her to just drop everything and come live with him in Twelve. But he hated this back and forth dance between Twelve and the Capitol. Saying goodbye to her got harder and harder each time. She was annoying and a real pain sometimes up to the point he wondered if he'd gotten her for his sins and still he longed himself sick for her when she wasn't around.

He needed her. It wasn't an easy thing for him to admit but he did.

He felt around the bed until his hand closed around the condoms with Effie dropping kisses to his neck, nibbling on the soft skin. Effie who would never let him give her hickies. He tried to tell her "no marks" but all that came out was a soft moan.

And that was when the phone rang.

"No," Effie whined.

"Just ignore it," Haymitch muttered. He sat back against his heels, trying to clear his head enough to put the rubber on properly. The damn phone kept ringing and he hissed in frustration. Finally it died though and Haymitch slid the condom on and lay himself on top of Effie again. Their lips met and Effie spread her legs wider for him.

And the phone started ringing once more.

A sound like from a raged animal came from Haymitch and he lifted the receiver and slammed it back down. He panted, red in the face and Effie closed her hand around him to guide him into her.

When the phone rang for the third time.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!"

"Just answer," Effie said, exasperated. "We don't know. Something might have happened."

"What!?" Haymitch barked into the receiver.

"Oh, hello, Abernathy, hello! I was starting to wonder," Plutarch Heavensbee's voice boomed on the other end. "Happy Harvest Festival!"

Haymitch's face slumped down between Effie's breasts.

"How is life in District 12? You'll send my best regards to Katniss and Peeta, will you?" the former Head Gamemaker went on. "Did I mention we're doing a V.I.P special for our quizz show this season? About the Hunger Games. We'd love it if at least one of you three could participate."

"Plutarch," Haymitch growled. "I can't talk right now."

"'Sing your heart out!' is still our number one smash hit of course," Plutarch went on as if he hadn't even heard him. "And Katniss is still our dream participant! Tell her it's still not too late to…"

"Plutarch!"

"Yes, I know, I know. I'll get to the point. Well, Haymitch. The Anniversary Ball…"

Haymitch groaned and pulled himself up so he wouldn't crush Effie with his weight. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the condom off and tossed it at the wall.

Effie sat up as well, crosslegged on the bed she began to apply some lotion to her cheeks. It was her habit since Haymitch had a tendency to give her road rash during their sessions.

The sight of her wasn't helping Haymitch. The disarray of strawberry blonde hair, her blue eyes, red, swollen lips, her breasts and the curly hair between her legs.

When she noticed him staring Effie gave him a deadly smile that could only mean trouble. And then very slowly she lowered her hands.

Haymitch's eyebrows furrowed as he watched her cup her breasts. All saliva drained from his mouth.

"Hello?" Plutarch said in his ear. "Haymitch?"

Effie closed her eyes and gave a soft moan as she touched herself, the sight making him hard, rock hard, even with Plutarch.

"Haymitch? Hello? Haymitch, are you there?"

"What do you want for me?" Haymitch yelped into the receiver.

"I asked you about the Anniversary Ball. Can I count on you and Effie?"

"Yeah, whatever," Haymitch said, not really aware of anything but his throbbing erection and Effie pleasing herself right in front of him.

"Fantastic, it's settled then! I'll write down both your names."

"Do what you want, I don't care. Goodbye!"

He slammed the phone back and pulled Effie down on the bed so forcefully she chuckled.

"What did Plutarch want?" she smiled.

"Don't know, don't care," Haymitch growled and stooped down to crash his lips to hers.

When the phone rang, again.

"You've got to be fucking kiddin' me!"

Haymitch sprung from the bed and grabbed the phone.

"Plutarch, I swear to God! The next time you fuck Fulvia…"

"Haymitch?" a familiar voice asked on the other end. Peeta.

Haymitch sank back onto the bed, face in his palm while Effie got up with a sigh, heading for the bathroom.

"What is it, boy?"

"Is… everything alright?"

"Super," Haymitch muttered. "Whatcha want?"

"Lydia called in sick. It's a mad house down here and I have to stay by the ovens if everything's going to be done until the festival. Can you come?"

Haymitch sighed. And it was as deep as a coal mine.

xXx

The rest of the day was spent at the bakery. Peeta prepared for the Harvest Festival while Haymitch and Effie stood behind the counter. Katniss soon joined them, having been over at Hazelle's and they got to talk in between customers.

Effie had helped Peeta at the bakery before and she liked it. She was good at it even though Haymitch did his best to infuriate her with complicated and ever-changing orders of what kind of bread he wanted to buy.

First many many hours later, the four of them returned home. With a belated dinner over at the kids's house Haymitch and Effie didn't get to be alone until long past bedtime.

Haymitch splashed some water on his face in the bathroom downstairs. Every shelf and empty spot in here was completely overloaded with Effie's stuff. The amount of beauty products in this place was insane. Like being in Flavius's and Venia's hair salon, Haymitch thought watching all the bottles and jars and creams and makeup cramped together. His own one bottle of aftershave taking up most space on the middle shelf wasn't so much a need as it was a statement.

But lets face it. This house wasn't altogether just his anymore, was it? And that was something he could live with.

Effie had already gone to bed when he joined her. She lay on her side, her face clean of makeup, and he saw she was wearing his old shirt that was several sizes too big on her.

Haymitch crawled in with her with a yawn and wrapped his arm around her waist, spooning her. Already half asleep Effie entwined her hand with his holding them against her heart.

He'd just rest a moment. Night was still young. They could still pick up where they left off.

Five minutes later they were both asleep.

Author's note: This was fun to write, especially the Plutarch part and I always love writing Greasy Sae who in my headcanon played a big role during Haymitch's childhood. What did you think about the story? Any thoughts?