"Come they telled him, ba-rum-ba-bum-bum! Our newborn thing to see, ba-rum-ba-bum-bum!" Ben sang happily, making his voice as deep and as loud as he could because he liked to sound like Bing Crosby. "I am a poor kid too, ba-rum-bum-bum! This is a gift I brunged, ba-rum-ba-bum-bum!"

"Hey Ben, we need go to the grocery store," Lindsay chuckled, coming up the stairs. "I know you're practicing for your Christmas pageant but we really need to get going."

"I know that mama, but it's tonight! I need to make sure my voice is in shape!"

"You can't work your voice too much honey," she countered, taking the comb from his hand and fixing the mess he'd made of his hair.

"I just like to be prepared. And daddy says that the 'coustics in the bathroom are the best for practicin'."

"I see. Why don't you go get your shirt on so we can go?"

"Okay. Can I practice later?"

"Maybe. We'll see."

He went into his room and got a shirt, then went downstairs where Colton was giving Avery a piggyback ride around the room, and both of them were laughing loudly.

"Ben! Look at me!"

"Hey, Cole, you never gived me a ride like that!"

"You're too heavy. Aves is just the right size."

"Well I wanna play too!"

"You can play when we get home. We need to go to the store or we're not going to have anything for dinner tonight."

"Mama, maybe you should plan better," Ben suggested with a shrug.

"You're right. Let's get in the car."

The kids sighed and bundled up, heading out to the car obediently. It was going to be a very busy day and she was certain that Ben's insistence that his Christmas pageant was the most important thing he would ever do meant that he was going to be very high maintenance today.

She chose the bigger grocery store because it was easier to navigate the cart around the aisles, even if it was further away from the house. The kids didn't mind the longer drive, and she didn't even have to remind them to be on their best behavior before they got out of the car. Colton was tall enough to push the cart now, and he handled his job well while Avery sat in the front seat and played with the plastic dog she'd brought along with her. Ben walked along the aisles and announced the prices out loud, acting like he was shocked about the amount of money they were spending.

"So mama, next week my class is going on a field trip," Colton started, measuring the weight of the green beans she was buying. "And we're going to a place where a lot of old people live and we're going to bring them Christmas cookies and sing to them. My teacher said that some of the people are very old and they might not understand why we're there. It's a place called a… um… a nursing home?"

"Yeah, that's what it's called."

"So people get old and they don't know what's going on?"

"Not always. Sometimes when people age, their brains get tired and stop working as well. They can't remember a lot of things and they get confused easily."

"Oh. That's sad, mama."

"I know. But I'm sure that they will really like to see all you kids there."

"Yeah. We even made them Christmas cards to make them happy. I think it's kind of nice to do. Anyway, my teacher said that we need to have more parents go with us and I was hopin' that your or daddy could go. You never get to go on my field trips."

"I bet I could go honey. What day is it on?"

"Wednesday morning. Could you really go?"

"Yep. I just need to find someone to watch Avery."

"Oh mama that will be great! I'm the only kid in my class that… well, it will just be fun for you to go with me!"

Lindsay smiled and put her arm around him, feeling guilty for working so much.

"I would love to go with you, Colton. Thanks for asking me. Want to pick out a cereal?"

"Yeah! Can I get Frosted Flakes? It's my favorite right now. Hey Ben, what do you want to pick? Ben? Mama, where's Ben?"

"Benjamin, where are you?" Lindsay asked, looking frantically around the aisle. She knew he hadn't been snatched, he would have made way too much of a racket.

"Ben, where are you?"

"Avery, where did Ben go?"

"I not know mama. I playin' toys. Ben!"

They all continued to call for Ben, walking quickly through the aisles and keeping their eyes peeled for him. He couldn't have gotten very far, it wasn't that long since they'd seen him.

"I found him!" Colton shouted, tearing down the candy aisle. Ben was at the end of the aisle, having found one of the M&M display characters. He was hugging it tightly and crying for all he was worth.

"Ben! Hey Ben, we found you!"

Ben looked up at Colton and cried a little more, then wrapped his arms around his brother.

"I was lookin' at those grapes what we're real big," he started, sniffling. "And then I looked up and everyone was gone! So I started to look and I seen this guy, and I thinked that he was so nice in the commercials, so I just hugged him and then I breaked down!"

"It's okay Ben, we found you now!"

"This is the worstest thing what happened to me since I been six!"

"Well then it can't get any worse," Colton chuckled, helping his brother to his feet.

"I suppose not," Ben agree, wiping his eyes as they walked back towards the cart together.

"Oh Ben, I so scared!" Avery whimpered, reaching over to pat his head. "You not do that 'gain, okay then?"

"Okay sissy. Boy, that was sure frightening."

Lindsay chuckled and held onto his little hand for a few moments until she felt normal again. Losing a child in a store was a scare certainly, but things like that were always worse, in light of what had happened with Colton. They would probably never be over it completely.

"Are we done shoppin' yet? I'd like to get home and practice my singin' some more before the big show."

"You know Ben," Colton started carefully. "Maybe it would be a good idea for you to not practice any more. I mean, you don't want to hurt your voice, plus we want to be surprised at the show. We don't want you to give anything away."

"You mean like you want the show to be a secret?"

"Yeah, kind of like that."

"Okay! I won't practice anymore. Here mama, let me help you with those grocery things."

He began to put things on the conveyor belt while Colton sighed with relief.

"Mama, I gotta admit, I just didn't want to hear him sing anymore."

"Can I tell you a secret? Me neither."

"And sissy, this is the gym where we do sports and also at lunch time for the big kids it turns into a eatin' place and tonight it gots lots of chairs in it so we can do our show! Isn't that neato? It's a transformer room!"

Avery sighed and looked around apparently impressed.

"Oh hey mama and daddy, here's someone I'd like you to meet!" Ben continued excitedly, pulling them across the room. "This here is my very firstest girlfriend called Rosie! I'm gonna marry her when I get a bigger age. Rosie, this is my mama and daddy and they are real nice so you don't have to be shy."

The little blonde girl nodded and stuck out her hand politely.

"Um, Mr. Ross, your son Ben is a very nice boy."

"I'm glad to hear that, Rosie. He thinks you're a very nice girl too."

"Yep, 'course I do. I wouldn't be in love with you otherwise. Hey there's the Messers! Hey Junior, I'm over here with Rosie!"

Junior came running over and hugged Ben, then gave Rosie a cordial nod, as if he was acknowledging that she was there but didn't want to have anything to do with her.

"Hey Ben, who's your friend?" Danny asked.

"I just got done tellin' mama and daddy that this is my girlfriend Rosie. And Rosie, this is Junior's daddy Danny, and his ma Austin, and his sisters Isa and Sarah. Oh yeah, this is my brother Cole and my sister Avery. You don't gotta remember all their names though."

"Okay," Rosie whispered, her eyes growing wide. "Um Ben, I want to go find my mommy now but I am not being rude."

"Okay! I will see you on stage then."

She gave him a nod and walked away quickly, clearly overwhelmed.

"Averylin, would you like to sit on my lap during the show?" Sarah asked, taking Avery's hand. "So you can see better?"

"No, I sit daddy's lap. You can too!"

"Uncle Adam could I sit on your lap too?"

"Sure honey."

"Okay!"

"Hey Binyin, it's time to go backstage," Junior said, handing his coat to Austin. "Remember how we gotta line up by size?"

"Yep! Let's go! Bye folks, we'll see ya after the show!"

The boys held hands and took off across the gym while Colton and Isa giggled.

"What's so funny you two?"

"They just think it's so important," Isa said, rolling her eyes. "Like they're professional singers."

"Isabeth, you won't be telling either of the boys that it's not important, you got it?"

"I got it, but that doesn't mean I won't laugh about it with Colt right now."

"So that was Ben's girlfriend huh?" Austin chuckled as they all found seats in the middle of the gym.

"Yeah. I didn't know he had a girlfriend. I feel a little out of the loop," Lindsay answered, handing Avery a sippy cup of water.

"Daniel isn't thrilled about it."

"I sensed something was amiss."

"He doesn't like to share his Binyin."

"Well hopefully it doesn't come up. I don't think Ben suspects anything."

"They had words."

"What? How come I don't know anything about this?"

Austin shrugged and took a minute to wave Mac and Jo over to where they were sitting before she continued the story.

"Daniel came home really upset today. I asked him what was going on and he said that Ben gave him an ol' tomato."

"Ultimatum?"

"Yeah. He said that he doesn't like Rosie because she takes up too much of Ben's time and he "confrontated Binyin" about it and Ben said that he likes them both and Rosie is not mean to Daniel so he has no reason to be mean to her."

"Very diplomatic but…"

"What?"

"I don't know, I just feel bad for Junior. Seems like he's getting the bad end of the deal, having to share his best friend with a girl."

"Maybe so, but it's going to happen as they grow up. They're going to have to learn to deal with the fact that they are not the only two kids on earth and they're going to have to share each other occasionally."

"This better not be your way of telling me you've found another best friend."

"No way, who could stand me?"

"Shh, everyone, the show is starting!" Sarah squealed as the lights dimmed.

"Show startin'," Avery repeated, clapping her hands. "Look for Ben an' Dan-yo!"

"Averylin, you have to whisper now."

"Okay. Ssssssssssss!"

"What are you doing?"

"Whisperin'."

Sarah just shook her head as the kindergarteners filed onto the risers on the stage. They all looked small and scared with their assortment of elf and Santa hats, and red and green scarves. Ben and Junior were standing near each other and Avery bounced up and down in Adam's lap, waving at them.

"Hi boys!" she shouted loudly, causing both of them to turn a deep shade of red and wave sheepishly back.

"That's the boys," Avery said, leaning over to tell Mac. "Up there, on a stage."

"Oh really? I didn't know."

"Yep, that them. I so proud."

Mac snickered and Avery folded her hands in her lap, quite excited about whatever was about to happen.

The music started once all the kids were in place and after a few seconds of nervousness, sixty or so little voices combined, off-key and off-beat, singing Frosty the Snowman. Most of the kids just stood there and sang, some of them swayed a little, and then there was Ben. Ben was dancing his heart out, as best he could on the small risers, keeping his eyes closed in concentration. He was singing along, probably quite loudly and raising his arms in time with the music. After a while the other kids started to stare at him, as he was creating such a display of himself. Once the song ended he resumed a normal position, smiling as the next song started up.

He danced again.

"Hey Linds," Adam asked, laughing as he leaned over to her. "What in the world did you feed him today?"

"Nothing special. He has no rhythm at all!" she laughed, noticing that Avery had slipped off of Adam's lap and was dancing in the aisle.

"We have got to teach our kid some better moves."

"I totally agree."

The second song ended and Avery jumped up and down, hollering as loud as she could.

"Yay Ben! Most good!"

He heard her shouts and grinned, using both hands to dramatically blow her a kiss.

"Oh man, this is so embarrassing," Colton sighed. "Everyone knows they're related to me!"

While Colton bemoaned the fact that his friends were going to tease him about his brother, Ben and Junior were having an onstage discussion. It couldn't be heard of course, but it didn't take much guessing to realize that Junior had asked "Binyin, what are you doing?" and Ben had happily answered "I'm dancin', Dunner! I'm havin' fun!"

Before Junior could warn him that no one else was dancing, the third song started up again and so did Ben. It seemed he was losing even more inhibitions, and sense of personal space, as the kids around him were having to dodge his flying arms as they sang. Everyone in the audience was laughing now, but Ben didn't seem to notice.

After another half hour of songs, Christmas poem recitations and Ben dancing like he'd been infected with some kind of a virus, the program drew to a close. The kids came down from the bleachers and stood in a line at the edge of the stage, all taking a bow before filing off to the sides. Amid much clapping, Ben stayed where he was and kept bowing dramatically, over and over again until he went to grab the hands of his classmates and realized that they were not there anymore. He finally opened his eyes and saw the chuckling audience, saw that he was alone, and realized that they were laughing at him. His eyes grew wide and he ran off the stage.

"Where Ben go?" Avery asked, suddenly concerned. "He done most good!"

"I think he's a little embarrassed, Averylin," Sarah commented. "He was just dancing to be true to his heart and no one understands. I know how he feels. Shall we go find him and give him an encouraging hug?"

"Oh my poor Ben," Avery sighed, shaking her head. "Daddy, we go get him?"

"The kids will come out and find us when it's time."

Colton kept hiding his face in his hands and when Lindsay asked him what was wrong, he informed her that he wanted to get over his embarrassment before Ben came out, so he could be supportive. While Lindsay appreciated his love for his brother, she wasn't quite sure that he needed to be so dramatic. It wasn't like the entire school was there, the only older kids that would see it would be the ones that had siblings in kindergarten. Of course, Isa's good-natured teasing wasn't helping the situation very much.

It was a few minutes before the kids came out of the back and while Junior ran to the group and asked if they'd had fun, Ben took his time, keeping his head down and walking through the crowds of people. He found Lindsay and grabbed onto her legs, not crying, but seemingly upset all the same.

"Benjamin, I liked the way you felt the music," Sarah said, patting his back. "It's too bad the other kids didn't let themselves go like you did."

"Sarah, I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay Benjamin but if you change your mind, I am here to listen."

"Me too!" Avery agreed, hugging him tightly. "I 'joy your dancin'."

"Thanks sissy. I won't be doing that again. Mama, I need you to hold me. This day is bad."

Chuckling a little, Lindsay leaned down and picked him up. He buried his face in her neck and sighed a few times before letting a few tears fall.

"Mama… Rosie breaked up with me!"

"What?"

"She said that I am just too wild! She still wants to be friends but… she likes Dunner instead now!"

He burst into quiet tears and Junior rushed over, patting his leg.

"Binyin! Binyin, I don't like her! Don't be mad at me, I don't want her for a girlfriend!"

"Well of course you don't!" Ben sighed. "You wouldn't betray me like that."

"Whew. I was scared you were gonna be mad."

"I'm not mad. Just desperately heartbroken."

Lindsay sat down in the chair and brushed Ben's tears away. He sniffled and looked up at her sadly, shaking his head a little.

"Mama, I'm havin' a moment of… that one word where you think about yourself and what you do."

"Introspection?"

"Yes, that."

"Sweetie, I know you're embarrassed."

"It's not just that! I need to do some thinkin' about my choices in life."

"Okay honey. You go ahead and think."

He slid off her lap and was scooped up by Jo who kissed his cheeks and told him how proud of him she was. He gave her a polite smile and she whispered something in his ear that made him nod his head and puff out his chest a little.

"Poor Ben," Austin chuckled. "He really is a sensitive boy."

"Okay we've got popcorn, we've got ice-cream, we've got lots of blankets, and we've got a movie. Does anyone need anything else before we start?" Adam asked, grunting as he fought the pull-out bed from the couch.

"I go potty!" Avery shouted, jumping off the couch.

"Me too!" Colton said, running to the upstairs bathroom while Avery ran into the little one off the laundry room.

Ben sighed and climbed up onto the bed, settling into the middle of it with his blanket and his favorite stuffed animal. He'd been quiet during the car ride home, which was totally unnatural for him, considering he usually had to make comments about everything he saw along the way. He'd barely cracked a smile when Colton and Avery had decided on one of his favorite movies to watch and when Avery had run around the house without her shirt on, he hadn't even laughed.

"Hey honey, can I sit by you for the movie?" Lindsay asked, wrapping an arm around him. "I've got popcorn."

Ben just nodded and hugged his stuffed animal a little tighter.

"I done some thinkin'," he said finally. "In light of the events of the night, I comed to a decision."

"What decision is that son?"

"I decided that it's time for me to let other people do the speakin'. I don't gotta be in the spotlight all the time. So now I will not talk so much or do the stuff what's silly, but I will think about it in my head. And you know, my head is pretty big, so there's lots of room for thoughts in there. It will all work out!"

"Ben, I don't want you to stop being who you are."

"Maybe who I are is not who I been bein'."

"What?"

"I don't know. That's just what I been thinkin' about. And I also decided that if other people are talkin' more, I will get to hear lots of stories. And I like stories!"

"But Ben, we like to hear your stories too."

"Mama tonight at the show, I was so busy dancin', that I didn't notice anyone else. That leaded to me bein' embarrassed. I don't want that to happen again."

"Son, you don't have to do what other people do."

"I know that daddy. What I'm sayin' is… well what I'm sayin' is that…I need to take a break from my crazy self!"

"Ben, daddy and I want you to do whatever it is that makes you happy. But we don't want you to feel like you can't express yourself, or that you have to hide your feelings."

"Well I will work on that a little while I try out this spearmint."

"Experiment?"

"Yes. That."

"Okay buddy. If that's what you want to do then mama and I won't argue with you. But I want you to know that you can still come and talk to us just like you always have."

"Alright. I will keep that in mind."

He fell into silence and looked down at his hands while Colton and Avery returned to the room.

"Daddy, start movie?"

"Okay are you three ready for the adventures of Shadow, Chance, and Sassy?"

"Oh yes!" Avery squealed. "I Sassy."

"You are pretty sassy."

"Yep, that me. Ben, you be Chance? Him so, so silly."

Ben nodded and took a handful of popcorn, looking less forlorn than he had a few minutes ago, like he had accepted his decision and he was happy with it. There wasn't much talking him out of something when he made up his mind anyway.

"So Ben," Colton started carefully, clearing his throat. "I'd like to tell you that I enjoyed your show tonight. It made me think of when I was in kindergarten and we had a Christmas program. Remember when me and Isa got in a fight on the stage?"

"I don't remember. I was a little boy."

"Well it happened. And tonight it made me think of that. And I laughed to myself at how silly me and Isa were back then. So basically, I enjoyed the evening."

Ben cast a side-long glance at his brother, then shook his head.

"Glad you liked it."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that."

"Thanks Cole."

Colton reached over and patted Ben's shoulder gently, shaking his head.

"Ben, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself for what happened. That show would have been boring without your dancing!"

Ben took a deep breath and started to say something, but thought better of it and shook his head.

"Okay Cole."

"Well I tried to make him feel better," Colton muttered, grabbing some popcorn. "Someone else's turn."

"My turn!" Avery shouted, turning to smile at Ben. "You done most good an' well. I have fun… um… Coley, what else?"

"How much you love him."

"Oh yeah! Ben, I love you most. Most than food, most than pink, most than play in mud!"

"Thanks for the support sissy."

"So welcome! Now be happy!"

He gave her a half grin.

"Sissy… I losed my pride and my girlfriend on the same night. I need to wallow."

"Okay Ben. I do that too."

She curled up next to him and rested her head on his shoulder, sighing every time he sighed and keeping quiet for the most part.

"Hey babe?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think this is really the end of the Ben as we know him?"

Lindsay sighed and shook her head, wondering the same thing.