Chapter 17: Confrontation.
I'm very happy, the happiest I've been in my entire life, and you know why? It's not only that now I have the kindest, smartest, most gorgeous girlfriend I could ask for. Well, also that, but my current state of elation is due to the fact that said girlfriend is finally going to attend school. That's right, after spending weeks locked in her house dealing with depression, Elsa finally called me yesterday to let me know that today she'll be returning to school. We'll be spending all day together! Well, not really, but at least we'll be eating lunch together, seeing each other briefly between classes and then I'll walk her to her house. I'm so excited about it that I told her I'd meet her at her house so we could make our way to school together, however she refused saying that Kai would give her a ride and that she'd meet me at the entrance. I was a little reluctant but at the end accepted, since I didn't want to seem overly clingy.
Anyways, now I'm here, outside school, a few meters away from the door watching the cars pass by and hoping Elsa will be in the next one. Soon she arrives; a car parks just in front of me and from it descends the wonderful girl I have the luck to call mine. I wave at her and smile, while she nervously waves back and starts walking in my direction. That's when I notice the first weird thing about her: she doesn't have her usual braid, instead having tied her hair into a tight bun. Also, she seems hesitant, scared, like a small deer knowing it'd be facing a ferocious wolf soon. I don't blame her though; Hans and the others will surely try something, but at least she now has me to protect her.
"Hey Elsa." I say enthusiastically trying to cheer her up, but she only gives me a tiny smile. Still, I lean forward to give her a quick peck on those beautiful pink lips, but instead of letting me kiss her, she steps back with a horrified expression. I feel sharp pain on my heart at this, but still try to talk to her, hoping this is only a mistake, or a misunderstanding. "Uh… Is everything alright?"
Please tell me I didn't misinterpret everything and that we are indeed girlfriends.
"I-I…" Elsa looks like she doesn't know more than me what just happened. She is confused, but still scared. Her face is even paler than usual and there are black circles under her eyes. I can tell she had a hard weekend; she's tired, but also worried about something. "I'm sorry." She gulps, not looking at me. "I w-wanted to kiss you, really, I-it's just…" She pauses, closing her eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply apparently to calm herself down. I patiently wait for her to explain why she's acting like this, but when she opens her eyes, I can see she won't. "It's nothing." She gives me a reassuring smile, but I bet even a blind person could see it's fake. "Really, I'm just tired."
"Elsa… I know you're lying." I berate her. "And I really don't think that's a good way to start the first day of our relationship." I take her hands to reassure her, and fortunately she lets me comfort her. "Come on, tell me."
"I'm sorry." She sighs. "I think I'm still not used to have a girlfriend and to the physical contact it implies… since I've been alone all my life." At this, her gaze saddens considerably.
"That's okay, I understand." I assure her, before quickly kissing her on the lips, relishing at their softness and warmth, and relieved that this time she doesn't pull back. Unfortunately, we really need to go now or we'll be late. "Come on, let's go." I say after reluctantly pulling back from her, seeing her lovely cheeks reddening beautifully. I smile at this, and, taking her hand, start leading them to the entrance. "So…" I say to start a little conversation. "Why the sudden change to your look?"
"I woke up late. I didn't have time to braid it." She shrugs. I'm not really sure she's telling the truth, but I let it slip for now.
"Well, it looks good, though I still prefer your braid." She only gives me a tiny smile before returning her gaze to the front. I sigh. I know something's going on in that head of hers… If only she told me what.
As we enter the school, we see Hans at the distance and I feel her grip on my hand loosening as she slightly, almost imperceptibly separates from me. Instinctively, I know she wants to let go of my hand, probably to avoid him seeing us together, but this time I will do things right. I won't leave her alone; I will be hers and she will be mine, and everyone will know. So I tighten my grip around her hand.
"We're together." I remind her. "He can't separate us."
"A-are you sure?" She asks nervously. "He'll be pissed when he sees us."
"Good." I simply answer. I'm tired of hiding who I really am, and how I really feel.
However, he doesn't see us, at least for now, and we're able to collect our belongings and part to our respective classes without incident. Of course I didn't want to separate from her, especially after seeing her a little off, but what can I do? She's already missed two weeks of classes, I can't ask her to skip just so we can be together all day.
So hours pass like days, or months… maybe years? I don't even know which class is which; I'm not really paying much attention since my mind keeps going back to the memory of Elsa's lips against mine and the promise of feeling them again soon. Even if she still seems reluctant to initiate any physical show of affection… She'll get used to it though. I hope.
So I keep waiting impatiently for the time of my free hour, when I'll get to see Elsa once again. Rapunzel actually noticed my impatience and asked if something was wrong. I told her not to worry and that I'd explain everything later; I want to tell my friends about my relationship with Elsa when she's present.
So my free hour comes and I quickly lead Rapunzel and Belle (she's become a friend for me the past few weeks) towards the cafeteria, where I know Elsa would be (also Meg, but she's still friends with Snow and the others). The fair goddess I have the privilege of calling mine, is sitting at a secluded table reading a book (a usual), so I waste no time before running towards her and calling her name.
"Elsa!" I shout making her look up at me, smiling shyly… that is, until she sees my friends and pales considerably, her expression becoming one of fear.
She really is afraid of human interaction uh?
"Anna." She smiles nervously. I really want to make out with her here and now, but I know I have to introduce her first.
"Elsa?" Belle asks clearly surprised. "Is that really you? I thought you had left school."
"Yeah… uh… well…" She stammers obviously trying to come up with an excuse for her long absence.
"She was sick." I provide for her. "But I've been taking care of her and now she's better." My friends nod in understanding.
"I thought you two didn't really get along?" Belle asks.
"Uh… It's kind of a long story… wait, do you know each other?"
"We're together in math class." She nods. "We had to make a project for last week, but when she didn't show up I made it on my own".
"Sorry." Elsa says clearly ashamed. "It wasn't my intention."
"You were sick." I assure her as I place a hand on her shoulder. "I don't think Belle blames you for that." I turn to look at her so she confirms my words.
"No, of course not." She rushes to say. "Maybe you could even talk to the teacher and see if she can count the project as if you had made it with me?"
"That's very generous. But I don't think it'd be correct on my part." My girlfriend answers in a calm and composed voice, almost cold. I can almost literally see her barriers rising; she doesn't like talking to more than one person for long.
"Uhm… okay." Belle awkwardly answers as silence settles between us. Not even Rapunzel says anything; she seems to be very shocked of seeing me interact with Elsa in a friendly way.
"Uh… anyways." I break the silence. "I actually wanted you to meet Elsa because well… she's my girlfriend now." I say shyly and instantly Elsa's shoulders tense under my hand. I give her a reassuring squeeze.
"Wow! Congratulations!" Rapunzel says. "Though I must admit I wasn't expecting this."
"I know." I sigh. "We have a rather complicated story, but we're together now, and that's what really matters."
"I thought you were with Hans?" Belle says more as a question than a statement. I'm about to answer that not, definitely I was never with him, when certain someone appears behind her and gives me chills. Elsa's breathe hitches at his presence.
"Yeah, Anna. I thought you were with me." Hans says with a wicked sneer on his ugly face as his friends (Snow and the others) come to join him. I have the temptation of taking Elsa and run as fast as I can, but I know I have to be brave; it's time to put an end to this.
"You used me as your toy, but I was never your girlfriend." I boldly answer. He seems surprised by my reply, but he quickly covers it.
"You're my toy, indeed; my property. And I specifically told you to stay away from plagues like these." He gestures to my friends and Elsa, especially the last one.
"These are my friends." I point to Punz and Belle. "And this is my girlfriend." Now I put both of my hands in Elsa's shoulders. "And each one of them is worth a thousand times more than you ever will."
"Your girlfriend?" Snow interferes. "You're a lesbian?!" She seems truly horrified. I feel Elsa sink more in the chair as all the eyes in the cafeteria now are pointing to us.
"Calm down Snow." Meg intercedes. "Don't be overly dramatic. It's completely natural."
"Completely natural?!" Hans exclaims turning to look at Meg with barely contained anger. "You disgusting freak! You turned Anna into this!"
"Homosexuality is not a cult, you know?" Meg mocks him, and he's now so angry I can almost see smoke coming out his ears.
"W-wait." Elsa interferes, getting up and surprising me; I didn't thought she'd be brave enough to speak to Hans. "Anna and I…" She sighs and looks at me with sad and sorrowful eyes, as if wanting to silently ask for forgiveness. Then she turns to her bullies and speak. "We're not really girlfriends." I feel a sudden pain in my chest, like a blast of ice is slowly penetrating into my heart, tearing it to pieces.
What does she mean we're not girlfriends? We kissed! And after that I asked her to be mine and she said yes, so then why…? Why is she saying such horrible things?
Silence soon fills our table, all eyes are pointed towards Elsa, including mine, urging her to explain herself, but she's notoriously nervous and words fail to leave her mouth as she opens it. It isn't until Hans speaks again that she finally reacts.
"Explain yourself. And I swear if you're not telling me the truth, you'll regret it." He prompts. Elsa filches slightly before regaining composure and speaking with her Ice Queen voice, just this time she does it with the authority of a queen.
"Anna said that just to get rid of you, and I helped her because I actually love her; we're friends, and I will protect her from you if it's the last thing I do. I won't let you hurt her anymore, or use her. As long as I live, you won't even get close to her ever again." As she speaks, her voice turns louder and angrier, full of sentiment, and if she hadn't said we're friends, I would've jumped over her and kiss her because of how she just stood up for me, but I'm utterly confused and feel like my heart is being painfully twisted. "And you." She now turns to Snow and the others. "Don't you dare doing anything bad to Anna. Thanks to you I have nothing to lose now, so I won't hesitate to do anything to protect her, am I clear?" She says this with a snarl, like a big lion protecting it's pack, and I have to admit it's truly scary, like I'm once again seeing that "monster Elsa" mode she had when she was all depressed, just now directed to protect rather than harm. But I know this side of Elsa is rather unpredictable and that I have to do something to placate her before she loses control, so I step at her side and look defiantly to all my ex-friends.
"And if you ever touch Elsa, you'll have to deal with me too. I'm not being part of your disgusting practices ever again; hurting people is wrong, and there are not winners and losers; we're all the same… until we abuse someone and we become monsters."
"Fine." Hans sneers. "Stay with your new friends if you so want to, but just know now that I don't believe your empty treats. I'll make you regret your words, and soon you'll be begging to be with me again." At this he turns around and Snow, Ariel, Cinderella and Aurora follow him, but Meg stays behind. Ariel notices and calls for her, but she only answers:
"It's pretty clear that a war just started, and we have to decide our side. I don't know you, but I choose Anna." I give her a grateful smile that she promptly returns, as Ariel stares at her confused for a few seconds before realizing the others left her behind and quickly following their steps.
As soon as they're out of sight, Elsa sighs and collapses on her chair. Rapunzel and Belle look at each other for a moment before deciding to also sit but in the opposite side of the table, so I sit beside Elsa while Meg sits between me and Rapunzel. For a few seconds no one says anything, since we're all processing what just happened, until Meg finally voices the question that is in all of our heads.
"Okay, what the hell was that?" The question is clearly directed to Elsa, so she swallows, obviously trying to calm down before answering.
"Well, I… uh…" She briefly looks at me and then turns to my friends. "I'd prefer to talk to Anna first, if you don't mind."
My stomach twists painfully and my hands start sweating in anticipation, but I still get up and follow her as she exits the cafeteria; I want to know what that was all that about… and at the same time I don't. I'm afraid that it was all a lie I told myself or that Elsa changed her mind about being my girlfriend, and I know either option would crush my heart.
Elsa suddenly stops at an empty hall and, after making sure we're truly alone, turns to me.
"I'm sorry about that." She says, her face truly showing regret. "I know my words hurt you, but I want you to understand that it was necessary."
"H-how…? Elsa, please, explain it to me, because I honestly don't understand what happened." I say, my voice trembling slightly at the end. "A-are we still… girlfriends?" I ask hesitantly as my eyes fill with tears in anticipation, however, Elsa seems to notice this and soon places her gentle hands on my cheeks as she answers.
"Of course!" She exclaims, softly caressing my face with her warm and comforting fingers. "I-I thought you'd figure that I only said that to placate Hans' rage. I love being with you, I love you!" She says fervently and I smile, glad that she isn't breaking up with me.
"Good, because I'm not letting you go anytime soon." I answer as I gently place my left hand over her right one.
"But Anna… as much as I like being your girlfriend… we can't tell anyone about this." Her expression turns serious as she speaks.
"What? Why?!" I ask. I understand that she doesn't want Hans or his friends to know about our relationship, but should we really not tell anyone?
"Because…" She sighs and looks to the side. "Because most people won't understand. And they will hurt you. And I don't want you to get hurt… I don't want you to suffer like I did." Suddenly, tears appear on her beautiful eyes, and I feel pain again, only this time is for seeing Elsa suffering.
"Elsa… w-what are you talking about?" I ask, because she'd never told me about having problems because of her sexuality.
"I-I…" She swallows. "Father sent me here because…" Her lower lip trembles and I know she's about to cry; this must be a very painful memory. "Because I'm gay." She finally says as tears start falling like torrents down her cheeks. I've always hated seeing her like this; it almost physically pains me. So I hug her tightly and she soon clutches her arms around my waist as her whole body trembles, and I resist the urge to cry myself, because what kind of father would sent his daughter to the other side of the word just because she doesn't like men? Worse even, I suspect that he hates her because of it, since he wouldn't send her money, practically condemning her to starve to death.
"Elsa." I whisper to her ear. "Calm down, please. Maybe your father hated you because of it, but… not everyone will. For example, Meg is bisexual, so I don't think she'd judge us, Rapunzel is a good person who would never hate someone just because of who they choose to love; she even forgave me after I became a total bitch with her. And Belle… I don't really know her much, but she seems to be quite nice, and I don't think she'd hurt us either." I pause, noticing that Elsa's trembling has subsided, but still feeling her tears wetting my shoulder. "We don't have to hide our love." I continue. "Maybe Hans will get mad and try to hurt us, maybe some others will frown upon seeing us, but what we feel isn't wrong, and if they don't understand it, then they could go fuck themselves. Sorry for the language." I add, remembering that Elsa almost never says bad words. "We have each other, we'll protect each other, and as long as we are together, nothing will harm us."
"You really think so?" She ask with a soft voice.
"I do." I answer firmly.
"Then I'll trust you in this." She says as she separates slightly so we can look at each other's eyes. Then, she wipes the few tears that remain in her cheeks. "Thank you, Anna."
"Anytime." I smile. I still see fear and doubt in her, and I know it will take time before she actually believes what I just said, but I guess she'll have to see it with her own eyes.
"So… I guess you'll want to tell your friends the truth." She says anxiously.
"Of course, but you have nothing to worry about, really."
"Okay." She says with a tiny smile, and she looks so cute I can't help leaning in and stealing a kiss from her, partially because I've been wanting to all day, and partially because I hope it'll make her feel better. It surely makes me feel like I'm in heaven.
"Come on." I say taking her hand. "They're waiting for us."
When we arrive to our table, Rapunzel is animatedly talking with Meg while Belle is reading some book, but as they notice us, the three of them turn to see us.
"Great you're here." Meg says, though I can't say if she's glad that we came back or she's being sarcastic because she's jealous of Elsa's hand holding mine.
"Yeah. "I solely answer.
"So, did you work out… whatever you had to work out?" Rapunzel asks.
"Yes." I say, remembering my little talk with Elsa. "And I just want to tell you that, despite what Elsa said to Hans, we are girlfriends." At this, I turn to look at Elsa to make sure she's fine with this and see her blushing and smiling shyly.
"Yes." She says turning to look at me with a stare full of love and wonder, as if she can't believe we're actually a couple. "We are."