Chapter 18

How could he say something like that? He knew I didn't love Tomas. He knew everything about that situation. He knew the amount of pain in those words, but yet he said it. I took a step away from him and stared at him. "Francis," I started but I didn't know what to say. What could I say to that? I knew that it must have been painful for him when I turned to another man, but it has been months since that! This situation isn't like that at all!

"I just wanted-" Francis cut me off by raising his hand. "I said I was done discussing this. I'm going to sleep."

Francis pulled the blankets away from the pillows and got into the bed. He wrapped the blankets around him and quickly lowered his head onto the pillow.

I stood there, astonished by what had just unfolded. But instead of thinking about it anymore I got into bed as well. I attempted to stay as far away as I could from Francis.

I almost wanted to turn toward him and wrap my arm around him. To kiss him and apologize, but at the same time, I wanted to grab my pillow and hit him as hard as I could. But instead, I faced away from him and closed my eyes, imagining better times.

I awoke the next morning to find the bed empty. Seeing the empty spot next to me made me want to cry, but instead, a tightening feeling squeezed my heart. I suppose Francis was still mad at me.

I sluggishly got out of bed so that I could get this day over with. Suddenly I felt a large pain in my head, almost making it hard to move. I wanted to immediately go back under the blankets and sleep. But I pushed through the pain and got ready for the day by myself.

As the day slowly went on my mind was in a constant flutter. It threw at me so many unanswered questions and angry thoughts. With the constant surging pain in my head, it only made my day worse. As time continued on I realized I had to make a decision, and fast. James had told me he was leaving for Scotland tonight. I had to make a decision now. And it wasn't up to Francis whether I went or stayed. It was up to me and only me. If I wanted to make a difference in my country I should go, and that's what I was going to do to.

I was going to go to Scotland.

When I found James I told him I would come along with him, alone. James seemed to like that and was quite excited. Unfortunately, I don't think Francis should know. If I told him he would be even more mad at me than he was now.

I had my servants pack some luggage for me while I told my ladies where I was going. They didn't seem to fancy the idea of not telling Francis, but it had to be done.

Then, it was time. My servants and I began to head down to the carriage. I was dreading leaving Francis, scared almost. I didn't know what he would do while I was gone. What if he found another woman- I immediately pushed those type of thoughts out of my head. I had to focus on getting to Scotland and only getting to Scotland.

Suddenly, guards swarmed the hall. I frantically looked around, watching the guards surround me. Then, Francis appeared. He stood so far from me as if he would be sick if he stood any closer.

"Francis, what's going on?" I asked angrily.

"I should be asking you that! Were you honestly going to leave without telling me!" His voice was engulfed with anger and every word that came out of his mouth only got louder. "I have a duty to protect and serve my people! And you're denying me of that."

Francis glared at me, but then his face softened. "One of James' footmen had English gold. We interrogated him to find out he was paid to kill you!"

My head began to hurt even worse. I wanted to believe him, but at the same time, I thought he was lying. He was doing anything in his power to keep me here. "That was one man. And you caught him. James is not here to kill me."

Francis took a step toward me, clenching his hands into fists at his side. "You don't know that!"

"But I am willing to try! My mother is going to get killed if I do not do something to stop it." I had started to resent the woman but I would not sentence her to death.

I stared at him for a moment but slowly shook my head. "Francis, I need to go now."

Francis looked away from me for a moment and stared down at the ground. He shook his head and when he looked back up at me he frowned. "But I cannot let you." He was so quiet I almost didn't hear him. Suddenly, he raised his arm and pointed at me. "Guards, grab her." He commanded.

My eyes widened as guards rushed toward me and pulled my arms upward. I whipped toward Francis. "Francis! Stop this." I shouted at him. But he wasn't looking at me. "Take her to the tower."

The guards pulled my arms up and began to force me forward.

The tower was a place that we kept prisoners. It was a cruel place, and extremely dirty. The rooms had nothing inside them, except for a small window that had no glass covering. The air even had a fierce odor of blood and sweat. The guards opened the door for me and gently pushed me inside. I almost tripped on the uneven stone flooring but managed to catch myself. I whipped around to find Francis standing in the doorway.

"You can't keep me in here!" I shouted at him. My words echoed throughout the tower.

Francis sighed and turned around. "I can't risk your life." He started to walk out of the small room. My eyes widened when my mind started to realize that Francis was actually intending on leaving me here. I almost panicked, but I took a step forward. "But you'll lock up your wife?!"

Francis paused for a moment but said nothing. He turned toward me and showed me his expression. It was covered with guilt and sadness. Usually, this look would send a twist in my stomach, but now that's the look I wanted to see. I wanted him to be hurt and to feel guilty. I wanted him to feel the pain he was making me feel right now.

Without another word, Francis left the room and let the guards close the door behind him. I ran up to the door and slammed my hands into the wood. "Francis!" I yelled. Somewhere in my mind was telling me that he would turn around and open the door. This was just a silly mistake, but he didn't. He continued to walk until he turned the corner, leaving me in the room guarded with men.

I let my knees sink to the floor and let my forehead rest against the wooden door. All I wanted to do was be queen of my country and Francis wasn't allowing me to do that. I could feel my heart squeezing in my chest, it was as if it had feelings of its own. And now? It felt nothing but pain and betrayal. I trusted Francis to be there for me and to stand beside me as we both ruled, but his idea of protecting me was locking me up! I turned around and let my back rest against the wooden door. A sudden anger rushed through me and with that anger I slammed my elbow into the door, causing me to yelp at the sudden pain. I had all these emotions running through me and I couldn't understand any of them. "Francis…" I whispered silently. A tear rolled down my cheek. I hadn't even realized I was crying.

Later I began pacing the room, my heart feeling heavy in my chest. I was trying my best to make sense of this whole situation and to contain all of these emotions I was feeling.

The stone room reeked of heat from the summer days. Since I've been in here for quite some time I could feel sweat beginning to form on my back and forehead. I leaned against one of the stone walls and let my body slide down it. My head was violently pounding with pain, making it hard to think or do anything. I didn't understand where any of this was coming from. I never have these sort of headaches, only small ones when I was stressed. This was something different.