"Ahh! We here!" Avery exclaimed happily, clapping her hands as the plane came to a stop on the tarmac. "Mama, we get out an' go see papa an' the horses!"
"We will as soon as you stop shouting."
"Okay," Avery whispered, glancing over at Sarah who had found that flying was not her favorite thing in the world. "Sarah, you throw up again?"
"No. My tummy is all empty now but I still feel bad."
"We'll get you some crackers or something in a little bit," Austin assured, tucking Sarah's hair behind her ear.
"Did the other kids get sick?"
"I don't think so. Colton and Isa were talking the whole time and Ben and Daniel slept."
"I sleep too," Avery added. "Dream 'bout sketti."
"You like spaghetti huh Averylin?"
"Yes. Maybe granna make it for us! Granna make most yummy food. Sarah, I show you much stuffs on the farm okay?"
"Okay! Will we see the horses?"
"Yep! I show you how take care of them."
Sarah nodded and they all stayed in their seats until the plane was empty, except for their family. It was much easier to gather their things when they didn't have to worry about getting in someone else's way. Ben and Junior were full of energy after their naps and ran a little ways ahead in the airport, holding hands and shouting excitedly.
"Boys, quiet down please."
"Sorry ma! We'll be quieter. C'mon Binyin, let's look out that window and see Montana!"
"Okay!"
They ran across the hall to the window and looked out, while Avery joined them, standing on her toes to try and see. After a moment they noticed her problem and worked together to lift her up so she could see too.
"You're pretty heavy, sissy Aves," Junior commented, straining to hold her up. "I can't do this much longer."
"That okay. We go now, outside."
"The grown-ups gotta get our suitcases first," Ben reminded her, taking her hand. "And then we can go outside."
"Oh yes, that right. C'mon, we help."
They made their way to the luggage carousel and soon all the bags and children were accounted for and they headed towards the car rental counter. Once it was clear that this was going to take a while, Colton and Isa set up a game of Duck Duck Goose, which Avery kept winning because none of the kids liked to see her cry. Ben was sitting in the middle with a fake scowl on his face while Avery chased Colton around the circle over and over again, shouting for him to stop going most fast. Finally he pretended to trip, allowing her to catch him.
"Ah-ha! Coley in the pot now!"
"Okay Aves but you gotta go easy on me next time," he said, trading places with Ben.
"Can't do that. Gotta play hardest."
She made her way around the circle once, her hand touching each of their heads as she tried to decide who would chase her this time. On the third trip around the circle she smacked Isa's head and yelled "Goose!" then took off running. Isa chased her for two strides, then turned around to run in the other direction. Avery squealed, throwing her arms up in the air in surprise and taking off across the floor, laughing hysterically. Isa caught up to her and grabbed her around the waist, laughing as she picked her up.
"I caught a big one guys! Reel her in!"
The rest of the kids pretended to cast a line and reel Avery and Isa to them while Avery laughed so hard she had tears in her eyes.
"Again!" she squealed, once they reached the other kids. Isa laughed and kissed her cheeks, then sat back down.
"Okay, we'll have a redo because I kind of cheated."
"That so fun, Isa. You very silly."
"Thanks Avery."
Avery smiled and patted Isa's head, then went back to her role as the ducker, while Isa and Colton exchanged amused looks.
"Hey kids, we got the car. Let's go."
Avery stopped in the middle of her ducking to jump up and down, then spin in a circle.
"C'mon guys! We go now! Hurry! Time for the farm!"
"What's that sound under our car?" Junior asked loudly from the backseat. "Uncle Cupcake, didja drive over a bunch of turtles?"
"That's a gravel road, buddy," Danny chuckled, turning around in his seat. "Out here, far away from civilization, they don't know how to put asphalt down."
"Yeah, we're usually more occupied with learning how to hunt and skin animals from a young age," Lindsay dead-panned from the front seat, looking at her nails.
"An' theys gotta protect theys homestead from intruders," Adam added, using the most stereotypical redneck voice he could muster. "Gravel pathways tell of any Ford contraption comin' down the lane. So theys can be ready."
"I hate you both," Lindsay laughed, shaking her head. "You make it sound like we sit on the porch in rocking chairs and clean our rifles all day long."
"Don't ya mean your double-ought-six?"
"Austin, you sound like a German person who is trying to sound like a Scottish person, who is trying to sound like he's from Kentucky."
"Well shoot."
"Besides you guys, Montana is in the north, just in case you ever look on a map and want a little leg up on the kindergarten geography tournament."
"There's no winning with you," Adam sighed. "Party pooper."
"Hey, you already won me, you ain't got nothin' to complain about."
"Guess so."
"The farm!" Avery yelled, pointing out the window. "We arrived!"
Her hooting and hollering grew louder and louder until Adam stopped the car outside the house and someone unbuckled her. She slid out of the car and jumped up and down in the gravel driveway, then started dancing excitedly, shaking her hips and singing. She was either overjoyed to be here, or she was so jet-lagged that she wasn't in control of herself anymore and needed some sleep. Either way, it was amusing to watch.
"The air smells so clean here," Isa commented to no one in particular, taking in the sights around her. She'd never seen this much earth before all at one time.
"Go be free," Lindsay whispered, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.
"Really?"
"Go."
Grinning, Isa shoved Colton's shoulder and took off running across the yard. He laughed and followed her, running as fast as he could to catch up. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him, stepping up her speed and closing her eyes as she ran over the even ground until she had to slow down and catch her breath. Turning around, she saw that they were much further from the house than she'd thought and she grinned a little at the fact that her endurance was getting better. Flopping into the grass, she lay back and looked at the sky while Colton settled down beside her, picking a piece of crabgrass and holding it between his thumbs. He blew on it several times but it never did what he wanted it to do, so he discarded it and sighed, pulling his arm behind his head.
"This is a pretty nice place," Isa said after a moment. "Now I know why your mama is the way she is."
"Whaddya mean?"
"I think if you grew up here, you'd have to be just like she is. Nice and happy and safe. That's what this place is like. I just feel good here. The same way as when Indy hugs me when I'm having a bad day."
"I kinda see what you mean. This place is kinda like my mama."
"It's like you too," she said, rolling on her side to look at him. "It's just… very good."
"I'm not always very good, Sweet Thing."
"You are to me. You're my best friend."
"Well of course I am. You're mine too, that's how it works."
"I know but… you stick by me and you stay my friend even when I'm not very good."
"That's what you do when you love somebody, Is. I love you, no matter what you do. Just like I love Ben and Aves even when they get on my nerves. Just like how my daddy loves my mama even when they argue about silly stuff. Just like your daddy loved your ma since they were kids."
"But why?"
Colton sighed and shook his head.
"Isa, why do you think you're so bad? Because sometimes you get mad? Or say mean things? Well so do I. You just do it louder. You're not bad, Isabeth Grace Messer."
She smiled despite being called by her full name and he reached over to pat her hand.
"And even if you were, I would still love you for all the days, like I always promised to do."
"I love you too Colt. I always, always, always will."
He sat up and tugged on her hand until she sat up too, pulling her knees up to her chest.
"I'm gonna hug you really tight now. And after this talk I don't want you to think you're bad ever again."
"You sound like your dad when you talk like that."
"Good."
He leaned over and hugged her for a few minutes until it felt weird and he had to let go.
"We should go back to the house. I didn't even say hi to my grandparents yet."
"Okay."
He took her hand to help her up and they walked back to the house together, kicking a rock between them and not saying a word.
The kids all went to bed early, as they were still on New York time and the day had been long. The sun was still up and they were all tucked into bed, barely whispering to each other before they fell asleep. The girls were up in Lindsay's old room, Sarah and Avery sharing one of the beds while Isa sprawled out on the other, still in her day clothes because she was so tired. The boys were in another room and after much squabbling over whose feet were "the super smelliest" they'd all fallen asleep too. Danny and Austin weren't too far behind, being so tired that they were laughing about everything one second, then arguing the next, and it wasn't long before they came to the conclusion that sleep is what they needed.
Meanwhile, Lindsay had grabbed a small cup of coffee to battle the jet-lag so she could go see Taylor and the baby. Adam went back and forth on whether he wanted to go, but eventually decided to join her, even if he was really tired. They borrowed her mom's car rather than drive the rented suburban, rolling the windows down as they drove into town. Adam reached over and took her hand, kissing her fingertips and giving her a small smile.
"Have I ever told you how much I like watching you here?"
"Hmm?"
"You're a different kind of happy. Even though being here brings back so many bad memories, you're still happy. Makes me realize all the tough stuff you're made of."
She gave a half grin and leaned her head on the seat, inspecting his hand in hers for a moment before she spoke.
"No matter how long I live in New York, this will always be home, at least another home."
"Do you ever wish-"
"No, I don't."
"How did you know what I was going to say?"
"Because I know you."
"Thanks. Saves me the trouble of trying to figure out how to say what I mean."
"I love you a lot, you know that?"
"Yeah I know."
"Okay, just checkin'."
"I'm sorry we couldn't get out here a day earlier," he said, stealing a glance at her. "I know you wanted to be here for Taylor."
"It's okay. She was only a little upset. It wasn't like we could have predicted it anyway."
"Yeah, but I can't keep being your hero if I can't predict things like this!"
She shook her head and directed him off the main road and into the neighborhood where Taylor and Josh lived. She was excited to meet the baby but at the same time, she was having conflicting feelings about her little girl being all grown up. It wasn't the same as it would be with Avery, but some of the apprehension was still there, some of the wondering if she'd prepared Taylor enough and done enough for her was still wandering around in her mind. She was certain however, that once she saw it with her own eyes, all those wonderings would go away.
"You ready?"
"Yeah. The kids were really upset that they didn't get to come."
"We'll bring them by after camping. I'm not sure a newborn is really going to do well with our triple threat. Give him a few days in the world before that has to happen."
Lindsay laughed as they got out of the car and went to the door. Josh must have seen them drive up because he opened the door and let them in right away. He looked tired but happy, possibly slightly shorter than normal.
"Are you surviving?" Lindsay asked as he hugged her.
"Halfway. I am not going to attempt any heavy machinery for a while though."
"Good thought."
"Taylor's in the bedroom with the baby. He's just been fed and changed, so you have really good timing."
Lindsay smiled and headed into the bedroom while Adam stayed behind with Josh. The house was quiet and the bedroom door was only slightly open, warm lamplight spilling out into the hallway.
"Hey sweetie," Lindsay greeted, stepping into the room. Taylor looked up at her and tears sprung to her eyes, most likely because of all the hormones that were attacking her full force right now.
"Hi. Look what I have, it's the most perfect baby in the whole world."
Lindsay grinned and sat down on the bed leaning over to look at the little boy, who definitely gave Colton and Ben a run for their money in the cute department.
"He looks just like Josh."
"Yeah he does. They even sleep the same, all sprawled out."
"How are you doing?"
"From the waist up, I'm awesome."
"Yeah, that takes a few… well a while to feel close to normal again."
"He's worth it though."
"I bet you've already forgotten the pain."
"Pretty much. You want to hold him?"
"Yes please."
"Okay Nolan, time to go see your Nana."
Lindsay took the tiny baby from her, cuddling him close and marveling at how tiny he seemed in comparison to her own kids. It had been so long since she'd held a newborn that for a moment he felt foreign in her arms until he settled in, giving a tiny yawn and looking up at her curiously.
"Hey little man. I've been waiting a long time to see you."
He gave a soft baby sigh and she took his hand, kissing his forehead and breathing in that fresh baby scent. It never failed to amaze her how small and fragile babies were and how quickly they grew up. An ache settled in her chest for she knew she wasn't going to watch Nolan grow up. There would be pictures and visits, but she wasn't going to be a part of his daily life.
"Linds, I can still call you whenever, right?"
"Of course."
"Any time?"
"If it is two in the morning and he's screaming his head off and you need me, you'd better call."
"I've been thinking about my mom a lot," Taylor confessed, dropping her head to Lindsay's shoulder. "I keep looking at him and I can't believe how much I love him and all that I would do for him. And I keep thinking that at some point my mom did love me. She didn't abort me, she didn't abandon me, she did keep me alive and somewhere very deep down, she had to have loved me and even wanted me. It wasn't my fault that she stopped. It couldn't have been. But then I wonder what happened to her. Why did she stop loving me?"
"I don't know, kiddo."
"I don't understand it. I feel like there's not enough time in the world to love him, like no matter how much and how long I love him, it will never be enough."
"It's pretty overwhelming, isn't it?"
"Yeah. I wonder what he's going to be like."
"Whatever he's like, it will be better than you imagined."
"I love you Linds."
"I love you too."
"If it wasn't for you, I don't think I would know how to love him, or how to love Josh, or even how to love myself."
"You taught me a lot too, sweetie. I wouldn't be a good mom if I didn't get to practice on you first."
"So we're even."
"Of course. You'll send lots of pictures and videos and stuff right?"
"Sure."
"And you'll come out to visit sometimes?"
"Yes. Nolan will demand to see his Nana."
"We'll be out here too, when we can."
"Do you guys ever go to Phoenix to see Adam's family?"
"Not really. His parents come to New York a lot, they say there's nothing to do in Phoenix."
"It's nice that you don't have family drama about holidays."
"Yeah, I think I got lucky."
"You know what? I think I did too."
"I've never asked you this before, but can you tie a knot in your cherry stem using only your tongue?"
"Yeah."
"So it's physically possible?"
"Did you think it wasn't?"
"I thought it was one of those urban legends like cow tipping. Can you do it?"
Lindsay chuckled and nodded, eating the cherry out of her mostly melted sundae, then inspecting the stem carefully before popping it into her mouth and working it over a few times. He watched her with a grin on his face; he'd been certain that she would take up the challenge, but he was surprised to find that she was doing it in public.
"Bam said the lady," she giggled, pulling the tied stem from her mouth.
"So when we get home, I need for you to do that again."
Her eyebrows flicked up slightly and she smiled.
"Okay."
"Are you almost done eating?"
"I'm done, let's go."
He took her hand and they went outside, walking down the sidewalk to the car. He slid his arm around her waist, his hand slipping into her back pocket and pulling her closer. They didn't say much to each other, many, many words had been spoken in the last few years, and there had been enough action to back up those words. Silence had been more and more golden lately.
He opened the car door for her, then reached in to buckle the seatbelt, simply because he liked to be as close to her as possible. She smiled and raked her fingers gently through his hair, then pulled him closer and kissed him.
"Love you."
"Love you too."
"Let's go. I want to go snuggle up in that big warm bed and sleep for a very long time."
"As you wish," he smiled, starting the car. "You still want to prank Danny and Austin tomorrow?"
"Totally. I think we need to think up a name for our covert ops."
"Hmm. The Deep Freeze."
"Faux Snow."
"Chill Out."
"Ice, Ice, Baby."
"Yes, that is the one. Austin's gonna kill us."
"I know but it's going to be so funny right before we die."
"I think this is our most planned prank ever."
"Might be. I'm kind of surprised we came up with it soon enough to pull it off."
"Linds, I'm so glad I married you."
"I'm glad too. Although I don't think we're actually as funny as we think we are."
"No," he chuckled, squeezing her hand. "But I don't think that really matters."