Hey guys! Thanks for reading my fanfic and getting my 10,000+ views!

I've got a long (compared to my other chapters) chapter for you today to celebrate.
So have fun reading and I hope you enjoy it~

The Adventures of a Lovesick Idiot: Boys Night In

Although Aphrodite couldn't make three children appear out of thin air (she had the power, but it would be too much interaction with the mortal world…), she could ensure that the three souls would one day exist (hopefully in the very near future). Aphrodite hesitated. They was something wrong… 'What's missing?' the goddess thought to herself.

"BINGO!" she yelled, loud enough for the whole of Olympus to hear.

'I got it, I got it!' she celebrated in her head.

Aphrodite looked at the drawing of the future family. A smiling mother with beautiful hair, a slightly stunted father who was laughing to himself about a private joke, a little girl wielding a sword at her father, an older daughter wearing a potato onesie and a boy surrounded by small forest animals were all displayed in the drawing. With a snap of her fingers, Aphrodite made a playful robot puppy appear on the page.

She sniffed and wiped a wet substance from her eyes.
"My creation…" she said triumphantly, "IT'S SOOOO BEAUTIFUL!"

Leo giggled girlishly. He giggled again. The particularly hyperactive demigod stuffed yet another chocolate bar in his mouth and gargled down a large mouthful of red Kool-Aid.

"Women…" a low voice moaned.

"Women!" Leo replied excitedly.

Frank and Leo were two very different 'men'. Despite the fact that chocolate and cordial made Leo excitable (an understatement, of course), lactose-free chocolate and cordial made Frank feel ten years older.

In fact, it made him act like a twenty-five-year-old under the influence of alcohol.
The two boys were having a wonderful sugary feast and deciding to confide in each other regarding their problems with girls.

"Tell me about it…" Frank drawled.

"Yeah!" Leo yelled, bouncing in his seat. "I'll tell you about it!" He stopped to think (despite his sugar rush). "Wait… What do I tell you about?"

Frank lifted his head from his "shot" of Kool-Aid.
"Women… Duh…"

"Oh… Okay!" he squealed. "Uh… I'm too hyper to think about what to talk about! Why don't you tell me about it?!"

"Well… One minute she takes care of my firewood and kisses me, and the next she goes off with this other guy whose great-grandfather she dated and then has a blackout with him…"

"Dude!" he squealed again. "That dude sounds like a jerk! Wanna plot to vanquish him once and for all together?! That jerk-ish dude basically stole your girl! We have to destroy him!"
All of this sounded strange in a high-pitched squeal.

"Man… I really don't think that we should be plotting this kind of stuff when we're drunk…" Frank explained.

Leo pouted.
"But the best time to plot world domination is when you're drunk!" he whined.

"Fine. But we'll need more fuel if we really want to destroy El Jerk-face. Waiter!" Frank called as he raised a hand to signal a waiter.

Coach Hedge came to a stop at the table and threw a white towel over his shoulder.
"What can I get you two boys?" he asked elegantly. Of course, Coach Hedge was under the influence of chocolate and Kool-Aid too.

Frank gave the makeshift menu a glance.
"Nine and a half XXL chocolate liquor bars (You know? Chocolate with alcohol inside?), hold the liquor and a purple Kool-Aid cocktail top-up, hold the blue, and the cocktail."

Coach Hedge was madly jotting the order down. "So basically, you want nine and a half bars of chocolate and a top-up of red Kool-Aid?"

"Yep."

"I'm sorry, sir…" Coach said apologetically, "We don't have any more half bars of chocolate left. Can I interest you in three-sevenths of a bar instead?"

"Whatever floats your underwater car."

"And, you?" the satyr asked turning to Leo.

"What he said! We need to destroy El Jerk-Face!"

"Very well, I'll be back with your order right away…" he said as he walked away to the ship's drinks counter.

At that moment, Jason and Nico (who both happened to be hungry and hunting for a snack) walked into the dining hall.

"What's this?" Jason asked suspiciously. Leo was madly bouncing in his seat and shoving brown contents into his mouth while Frank was lounging about slowly sipping a red liquid from a wine glass.

"…" Nico said.

"What?" Jason asked the only other sane boy on the ship.

"…" Nico replied.

"Forget it."

"Are you here to help use defeat El Jerk-face?!" Leo asked.

"Uh… No? We'll be going now…" Jason whipped his hand out to clasp onto Nico's wrist before slowly backing out of the dining hall.

"I'M BACK~" Coach called. In his arms were a jumbo family-size pack of assorted chocolate bars and a very large 24.5L tub of red Kool-Aid. He noticed that Jason and Nico were slowly backing away from the commotion. "Where are you two going? The fun is just beginning!"

Caught red handed, they shuffled to the table and sat down on the benches.

Coach Hedge pulled out two more plastic wine glasses and placed them on the table in front of Nico and Jason.

The two boys looked at each other and gulped.

**Flashback**

Aphrodite was cradling her newborn immortal child in her arms.

"You're such a cute little baby! Aren't you?! Oh yes you are, oh yes you are~"

The baby gurgled in appreciation.

"You're going to be beautiful like me when you grow up, won't you? Yes you will, oh yes you will~" Aphrodite cooed. "In fact, you're so beautiful, I'm going to give you a name that will remind you of exactly how beautiful you are. I DUB THEE, APHRODITUS!"

"That's a ridiculous name!" the father complained. "If a name honouring the parents is to be given, the child might as well be name Hermes." (Yes Hermes and Aphrodite did have a kid together. EW, I know right?)

"Hermes, that's a terrible name! You can't name a girl Hermes!" Aphrodite complained.

"Well you can't name a boy Aphroditus!" Hermes quipped. (The child was of both genders… Even more EW, right?)

Hera had heard the entire fight and stepped in to create a compromise. She didn't want her perfect little family to be arguing over petty disagreements!
"Stop it! Just call the child Hermaphroditus (That really was the kid's name. Poor kid…) or something!"

"Hermaphrodites… Both elegant and girly… I like it…" Aphrodite mused.

"Hmm… Both sophisticated and catchy… I like it even more!"

And that was the beginning of the history of ship names (I'm serious here!).

**End Flashback**

'I used to be so beautiful,' Aphrodite thought, 'And I still am now…'

"That's it, I'm calling the dog Caleo!"

Last days on holidays… Urgh…

And that's the end of the chapter. I wanted to make it funny for you guys. Please review, fave or follow because all of those things are like energy boosters for me to write faster! :)

BRING ON THE FLAMES, COS UNCLE LEO'S HERE!